ThinkingWellTlæ índßpensa.ble characteristic af a .docx

ThinkingW
ell
Tlæ
índßpensa.ble characteristic
af a good úríter is a. stule
m
ørkedby hLctditg.
-'E
m
est H
em
ingu'a¡
A
nd hou, is claritg ta be achieaed? M
ainlg bg taking trau-
ble:ond bq u ritilteta în)pp:!!|. ratl.ertlnn tô ¡ñprc::
them
-F.L. Lucas
p
ach profession. it rrould seem
, has its os'n shle of thoughi that m

ust
.lj
be m
astered before a person feels at hom
e in it. The lar¡, certainlv
does. S
o does architecture. A
nd so. too, $'ith engineering, accounting-
cou.ìpute¡ progrâm
m
ing, film
directing, psvcholog¡ carpentr.-vou
nam
e it, thel'all have a stvle of thought related to the nature ofthe
pro
fession. It stands to reason that u'riting rvould have its ou'n, too
À
ncl
it does.¡hat a now
ice needs m
ore than anlthing, then, is to plug inio the
brain of an erperienced u'riter-to understand the assum
ptions
sìre g.pi-
callv m

akes, the silent m
onologue that is occup¡.ing her head as she com
-
poses, the special effects she is trving to achieve .
. V
ithor.rt that ,quiding
instinct, $.riting w
ill rem
ain all hit-o¡-m
iss-a frustratìng repetitiori of tdal
and error over and over again.
3
4
Fr¡da¡¡*t¡tals
. A
ìeeinning chess plaler- fâces rnâny of the sam
e probler.rs. L.rcì.-ÍrLg
a¡rv kjni ¡rf ''chess serse," as plavers call it. he sits beü,jlãered
at the bo¿Lr dl
rror,irg fìr'st ir parvrì, therì a bishop- tllen-w
hv not?-his queen, all at ran-
cÌorr. hoping thai sonething good riill com

e ol it but knovlng th¿t if it
<locs. ji w
¡ll be a nrele pìece of luck H
e has no idea ìrol seasonèd plave:-s
ihjrl¡ ¿t ihe bo¿r'd. E
en sìtting across froin them
. he cannot fathor¡,vhat
lhc.r'r'e trlìtrg to irccorlplish rrìth a particula¡ m
ove. u.hat blunclers thev're
h-lìrig io avoid. l,hat altem
aLe ganìe strategies thel.m
ight be consiclcrìng.
H
, ':.,, ,. rt,r, ìr .Ll,nreci¿te rl,c efrcr', hu. thc actu¡.1 thougì,t
!ro.eç i,
a Ù
l stcn'.
Linfoi.trrnatell. the glandtlasiers have m
ade it far easier for:Ì nor,ice
to acquire citess selise th¿rn authors have m
ade it for hirn to acquire its lit
eran eciuir:iìelt. Thev'e pubìished book after book explairiug
ho,,r. to
thiuli chcss-rr hat opening gam
bits to consìdet-. u'hai counterattacks lvo¡k

u ell. rr hat cnclgàrne tactics to use. A
utho¡s of rvriting texts. on ihe other
hand. tei¡d to stress nechanics, per-hàps assum
ing tlìat people either knor,,
lÌor to thiûk ol thev donl.
I ìrope lo lepair ih¿t negleci. lvly chief aim
. both in this chapier and
Lliloughout tlie book, is to help vor derelop lrriter's sense." Y
.,u'll find Ít
as inclispc-nsabìe
as raclar to a piloi. I'll begin b¡.-erplaining hor.r'a nor,ìce
,.r'r'itc,r tipicalll, thìitks so that r.dien I m
ove on to explain hou,-the veter-an
thirks. I'ou'll have a m
o¡e rir.id sense of the contrast.
The N
orice
fost of the novice s difficulties start $,ith the sim
ple lact tliat the
paper-he v tes orì is m
ute. B
ecause ít never talks back to hiur. and be-
cause het concentr ating so hard on gener-ating ideas. he readily
forgets-
unìike ihe r.eteran-that another hum

an being w
ill eventuall,v be trying to
nrirke serrse ofw
hat he's saring. The restli? H
is natural tendency as a aríter
ís t o th
i nk p ri nnrily of hinuelf-Ìrcn ce to ui'ite p rim
trrily for him
sel;f . H
ere.
in a lrutsl.iell. lies the ultim
ate ¡eason fo¡ r¡ost bad r'"'ritilg."
Ile isr't au,a¡e of liis egocentrism
, oi course. but all the s,v-rlptor.ns
of his root problenr are the¡e: he ihinks through an idea onlv
until it is
i,
ThìnkiflgV
all 5
pa-ssabll' clear to him
- since, for his purposes. it need¡i t be
¿111_1, ¡]ç.1.1-¡- r,,,
dispenses u.ith transiLions because iiì eìough that /¿c krrorrs
liotr lris iclc.¿s

conne_ct; he. uses a private svstem
-or nJ sl.sterl-of punciuàtion: lìe
doesn't t¡ouble to define his term
s beca,ls.
1.,å understanàs per-fecth, sr:ìì
làat he m
eans b¡' tliem
; lìe utjtes pàge after page w
rtl.iout botircrug to r.ur
his sentence structure; he leaves Jff!"g" ,,rr-b"r, ^n,l foot,.,ot"r,
ä" 1rnr"-
graphs only ri'hen the m
oocl st¡ikes hirn; he ends abruptlv ru*ierr he, cleci<ìes
he's had enough; he neglects to proofread the lind 1ãb because
tire u ir_
ing is over .
. C
iven his total self-orientation, iii no u,onder ihat he faiis
repeatedlv as a rvriter. Ä
ctuall1,, þ6 5 not u,riting at allr he's m
ereh, cou-
m
uning privatelv
..,i th hirrself-that is, heì silpl1,. putting thought, .Ìor. l
on P

aP
er.
I caÌl this "unconscious rriting." The unconscious q,¡iter is like
a per_
son.t'ho_turns àis chair arvav fi-om
his listene¡ m
rLrirbles at length tci the
r¡'all, and then heads for horre w
jthout a bachvard glance.
B
asicalll', all it takes to begin noving fi-om
unconscious ruiting to
genuine w
riting is a fe$'¡¡qm
s¡1¡5' reflection on rvhat tìre u,riting,/rerJing
process ideaì' invoives. Think aboui it. l-hat it invoh.es is orù
¡rcrsol
earnestl)¡ attem
pting to com
rïunicate r.,,ith another-. Inpiicitll; tìren- it in-
'olres 'he reader¡s rnuch as thc , ritÊ
r, sinLclh¿ su"ro,. íti,, .utttttuttr)
colion,leprnds sololy on lrcu tl¡, roaclr r rc¡-pi¿es j/. j15t.', ,jn,
" ,nor" il. ,,
one person is involved, and since all ofus have feelings, ít has
ta l:e o.s sul:¡

ject to thc basic rules of good m
anners as any other huttw
n ròla!íouhip . Tlte
u'riter w
ho is fuih' av'are of these im
plicâtions-the conscious w
riter.-re-
sem
bles a person u4ro conpanionably faces he¡ listener and h ies
her ler.el
best to com
m
unicate ¡rith him
, even persuade and cha¡m
hiur ir.i the
process. and .vho eventuallv bids l.iin the equivalent of a genial
farel,ell.
The big breakthrough for the nor,ice rvrite¡ then, rrill occur at
the
m
om
ent he begins to com
prehend the social inplications of l l.rat l.iels
doing. Far from
r.vriting in a vacuum

. he is conversing, in a ven, ¡eal sense.
w
ith another hum
an being. just as I am
conversing right norv rvith vou.
er,en though that person-like you-m
av be hours, or davs. oL everi leaLs
ava)- in tim
e. This breakthrough parallels an infant's da$,nins realization
that a u'orld eústs be_vond him
self.
A
ctuallr', since the novice is as m
uch a self-oriented rìe:coller to
his social rvorld as the infant is to his, r¡'e m
ight suspect that Lhe sil.rilar-.i
tv doesn'i end there. A
nd rve're right. B
oth of them
pass through a qrad-
ual process of socialization and deepening a¡,areness. The
rir;tei. lor
exam
ple, after realizing tlìat a rvorld-a reader-exists out there bevold

" l)aul B
urk¡.. ¡r ¿ironal lfagazine .Ä
rra¡d uìnning journalisi ancl erecuii-e edjtor
oi Trtis )Íoitthh¡. told one of ¡lv classes, 'Tìre hardest thing a
'riter h¿s to do is cùr.b his
selî ìrrìuìgence.'
6
Fundnntzntak
irim
self, sloulv com
es to del'elop, first. an asareness ol him
self froni the
reader's vantage p oi_t (o_bjecti1ity); next. a capacit) to put
him
self inagi-
nativelv in the m
ind of the reaàer (ernpathq): and hnaúv an appreciation
of the reader'.s rights and feehngs (courtesy). you can ,ã" th"i
ih" _.',urr,.rg
t'riter is essentia-ll)- retracing. in a ne$, context, the sam
e psy,.chic .¡our nei
he t¡aveled as a chil<l. E
.,en the net result is cor.r.iparable. H
âr,ing passed the

ì;r-st stage olcourtesl' as a child. he achieved the m
ark of a tn.riv ciuìlized pe¡-
son: social seûsitivih,. 4ren he passes the sam
e stage as a r.,riie¡ he achièr,es
the r.nark of a trulv civilized author: a ¡eadable stf,le.
The V
eteran
The tbinkìng process of a skilled w
rite¡ ¡eflects hoç, she conceives the
w
nting situation. Let's staft, then, bv developing a realistic
understandilg
ofnhat that situation inrolves.
_ A
ll u-riting is com
n.iunication. B
ut m
ost $,riting hopes lo go further-.
It hopes to m
ake the reader react in certain rva1,s-uitL pleased sm
iles.
nods of assent, stabs of pathos, or rvhateve¡.
_ S
o- 'e can sal', generallv, thaT urítittg is tlte at1 of creatíng de-

sí red eîects.
N
o¡r, fo¡an essay ,riter, the chiefdesired eflect is persuasion. S
up-
pose )ou are that r¡ryiter. Y
ou l'ant _vour reade¡s to buv hvo things: r,our
ideas and vou, their source. That ís, you w
ânt them
to r.ierv vour ideas as
sound and interesting, and to vierv vou as sm
ai, inform
ed, dir ect, aud com
panionable. (A
lì ofthese things, ofcourse, are desi¡ed effects.) Ifyou don't
persuade thern to accept vou, itì doubtful that you'll persuade
them
to
buv the icìeas vou re proffering. 'e bu;,.' from
people u,e like and trust-
iti hum
an nature.
The big question, then, is hou'to u{n readers? H
ere a¡e fou¡ essentials:
L H
â'e som

ething to sar, that's g,orth tìiei¡ attentìon.
2. B
e sold on its r'¡.liditv and im
portance I'ourselfso ¡ou can pitch it $ith coÍt-
,ictiorì.
3. Furnish strong argum
ents that are u'ell supported u,ith concrete proof.
4. LÌse coÌlfident language-vigorous verbs, strong nouns, and
asseltive
nh ra¡inø
¡liile tl.iat looks like a pretfr lull recìpe for successful s'riting,
ii isn't.
E
ven if u'e exclude sheer artfulness. one thing is stiìl m
issìng-anã dm
ost
Þ
}
Il¡i',Lrn- ì:/I
ahvays is. The ultim
ate rva,v u,e s,in readers is bv coufieously seruing tirclt-
that is, satis$,fig låèù néeds. A
.ù exþerienòed w

riter L:norvs ùiat to årre ri.eli
is to sell rvell: equalþ to sell u,ell is to sen e ell. The). are
cornpìerrrentar-r
.criities. The r¡cans arc inseparabÌe from
tl,c ends.
The w
-riier, for all practical purposes, does not exist rvithout the ¿s-
sent of l.iis readers, w
-ho have the pou,er io shui hLm
off at rvhirn. Tliis fãci
oflife rrakes pleasing thenr absolutely critical. B
ut ti.rati onlv lai¡. lf u,e'¡e
going to ask them
to gi.€ us iheir tiÛ
re and attention, then u,e,¡e ir.r l/¿clr
debt, not the other rvay around; rve m
ust be prepared to repa! tlleir kind-
ness w
ith hndness of our orvn. B
evond pleasing them
sim
pl,u to square
debts and keep them
reading, though, there's "lso th. practì"d necessih,
ofpleasing them

in order to persuade them
. S
ar¡uel liutler long ago re-
m
a¡ked- '1{.¡e are not w
on bv argurnents that w
e can analrze. bui bv tone
and tem
pe¡ by the m
anne¡ u,"hich is the m
an him
self." I don't rvhel]y ¿*r""
$,ith that, but it's certainl;, close to the truth. A
pleasing r,,"nn". ,uì."I_u
nakes one s argum
ents them
selr.es seen pleasing becauså it dresses them
in an au¡a of reasonableness.
A
ll ofus, I think. grasp these facts of life perfectlv r'.,ell as
readers. but
m
ost of us m
anage to forget them

as w
riters. B
eing unconsciouslv self-
oriented, w
e tliink it's enough sim
ply to la¡, out our ide,as. E
rperience keeps
disproving us, tlìough. R
eaders w
ill al..va1,s insist on having their neeãs
looked after, as thev have every right to, and ifrve're heedÌess,
tl.rer,'ll sav
E
nough ol;ou" and toss our piêcê aside
-
H
ou', then, do you serue your readel ? Fì¡st, vou m
ust cultivate a psr-
chological sense. That is, vou n.iust sensitize you¡self to rvhat
rvirrs l¿lr
ouer-hor.r' and rvhy yoz respond, and rvhat m
akes yo¿¿ feel t'ell sen,ecl-
and graduallv learri to extend that au'areness to _vour reade¡.
This book, in
cidentall;,, is as good a place as any to start sensiiizing
,, ourself. A

s r ou ¡ead
along, you ought to be asking vourself such questions
as these: "Is his shlc-
too com
plex to be readable, or too plain. or is it just rigl.rt-and rvhv?
"V
hat is his tone, and hor"- does he achieve it? D
o I like it or don't I?"
'X
{'hy does he use a sem
icoion here instead ofa period?' "D
o I like tl.iis t¡r,c>
sentence paragraph?" "4¡hat effect do his contractions have on
m
e?" A
rvriter eager to im
prove his psvchological sense never sim
ply reads: he
reads criticalfv'. H
is m
ind is ia-lu'ays alert to the m
¿nr'¿¿r as rl'-ell as the m
es-
sage, for onþ ín this s'a)' r¡'ill he learn g'hat rvorks and rvhv it
r','orks- plus

w
hat doesn't rvork and u'h;' it doesn't. H
e's like one m
usiciau listening to
the chc¡¡ds and phrasing of another ¡hat's special he'Il im
itate and m
alie
his or"'n.
6
î1rt¿aikl1ial
O
rice vou àcquire the habit of reading attentiveh, ;'ou'll find that
I'our psvcìrolo"ical sense .i'ill ir.r.rpr ove shar-plr'- and w
ith it ¡,our tactical
sense. too. This w
ill l.rave an inrnecliate irrpâct not onl-v on the effective-
ness ofvc¡ul u,¡iting but on )our attitude tou,ard it as ivell. Y
ou'll discove¡
vourself beginling to relish rt âs a supreÌne challenge to ;our
poi.vers of
salesniansliip. A
l the sam
e tir¡e. vou'ÌÌ find vourself becom

ing increasíng-
ìr' consider-atc. 'orlr leac]ers' needs. not vou¡ otrr. u'ill dom
inate vour thínk-
ing. A
nd lt..,il1 give you pleasure; vou'líquickl¡, learn to enjoy tíre
sense of
cornnrunior¡. the fellori-feeliug it b¡ings, for as in a f¡iendship.
1'ou'll be in
'¿ìrm
, in'l¿ginatìe iorrch r¡'ith other hum
an beings.
¡.ll of this br ings m
e to the second prim
e u'a-v of senjng )our read-
ers: scirooling i'ourself to^þg_orhe¡ oriented. Y
ou tr-1 to unde¡stand vou¡
Ieacle¡s. Ìbu ¿ctivell' thirk of them
, identify, ['ìtli them
. em
pathize i.vith
then.r. fbu tr-r. to intuit their needs. bu t¡ain ¡'ourself to think
alrva-vs of
¿y'¿¿lr convenience, noi 1.oui-or.rn. Y
ou treat thern exactlv as you u'ould r.r.ish
to be tre¿ted. rvith genuine consideration for their feelings. A

nd vou keep
renrrrrding vorrrself. o..e¡ arrd over. ihtt good uritíng
Ls good nanlers.
Ther-c alc fir e specific rva-vs r ou can sen e our readers
needs. P
lease
¿dd them
to ilìe hsL of four essentiais that I gave -vou a m
inute ago; and as
1'ou read then. note hos, thev appl,v to convet sation as u'ell as
to $Titing:
l. P
hrase ¡.our thoughts clearl¡, so yodle easv to follou'
2. S
peak to the poirt so r,ou <ìon't w
asLe ¡eade¡s'tl¡e.
ç!
T
3. À
nticipate tÌleÍr leactions {borecìom
, coûlìrsion. îatigue. irritation)
l. O
fler then¡ r,arie+' ancl rvit to lìghten their r'o¡k.
5. T¿lk to ihe¡n in a rr,àrrrl. open m

anner insiead of pontificating io them
like
a knou.rt-all
Å
lthough I ll be lollorving up on all these points in later chapters.
I'd
ìike to expand here on #fthe-. neeèfor'clarit¡; and #3, the need
to antici-
pate lour readers'responses. This ill gire nie a chance to
expÌaìn m
ore
concreteLr the assurnptions and actual tbought p¡ocesses of a
skillecl u'rite¡
P
hrase lbur Thoughts C
learl,v
A
plose stlle m
av be eloquent, lyrical, r'it', rhlthm
ical, and fresh as
{ontar.rri air, but ifit lacks clarjtv'. fer'r'reade¡s irill sta-v t-ith
it for long. Jusi
as no one enjo,r''s looking at a.ujeu', hou'erer spectacular,
through a m
ud-
strcaked w

inclorr'. ro one eujovs listeninq io a s-vm
phonv ofu'ords reduced
lô ììer-e !roise.
IÀ
1nk;ìF I-i'//
I
H
en.ringl,a,v r¡'as ¡ightr clarit-v ls the indispensable chalacter
istic of
good prose. Iiì the filst thing a leader derr.iands, and perlraps
the har clesl
thing to deliver. N
ot onh-m
ust the individual tl.roughts be clear: brrt. even
m
orã challenging, thev m
ust follorv a logical sequerce S
ilcc'the zrveragcr
huliran m
in<ì isû't accustom
ed to thinkjne s,"-ste m
aticalh. tñ'inq to 'rjte
clear prose is as latiguing as w
ater skiing. Y

ou'l-e using m
uscl':s that nor-
n.rail-v gei little exe¡cise. and the-v soon let lou linorv it
B
ut in rvriting, as in $'aterskirng- progress does coÌlle 'itll P
liìctice
A
nd iti greâtl-v accelerated bv im
ilating the techniques and.¡ltitrrdes of
experts. õlear r.vúters. fo¡ instance. vary r"idelv ìn native
ilrtelligernce- blrt
the-r. all share seve¡al attitucìes:
¡
The) assum
e that their chiefjob is to
¿r om
nulnicate Thelhopetodo t¡ore'
of course-nam
el1:
pe¡suade and cha¡m
-but thel knorv tlìat com
nìrrrìjcir
tion m
ust com

e fir'st. especiaÌ]-v if the,v- are ever to achreve these other
eifêcts'
.
The).¿ssum
e, ú,ith a peistr-rism
born ofexperience, thal r"-hateve!'isn t P
laul-
l-u stated, the reader tr'ìll invariably m
isconstrue 'The;'- keep in tlliirtl that sire
is, afte. tll. a perlect stranger to tireir earden ofirlgenìous ide¿s
lnfrtt t('
he¡ that garden ûav nÌiti;Ìlv resem
ble a targled thjcket' il D
oi n iqric¿i
¡¡n fo¡esi. This being so, theirjob
as u'riter is to guide hel lbrougir' sieP
b
slep, so that ihe erperience uìll be quick ancl r¡enorable' This
i¡rvoh es aleri
lv ánticipating her m
or¡ents of confusion and perioùcalll' gì'ìug her an ex
ilan^uon ol"iìrere she heade,l The '"'¡rte¡! G
olden R
ule is tl'ie sanrc ¡ç Ihe
m

oralisr!. D
o L'llo otl,er(
e Ther ¿.sum
e tha-eren their profoundc.r rdeas ar" t'l ¿Lle "lr" ì1j
pressed clearll. They alent so 'âin ¿ to drink that their
refltciions t¡a¡-
scend th. port"rs of language-S
hakesP
eare
P
unctules thât l¿rÌtås)-rloi
so la4 as tà ask thei¡ ¡eader to double as a clain'olânt Ä
s ¡161'¿l;5f S
onrcr-
set M
augham
reniarked in ?h¿ S
um
m
ing U
¡t
I have never had m
uch pâtieD
ce rìth the rvrjte¡s u'ho claìtn f' o'r'¡

the reade¡ a¡ elfo¡t to understand thei¡: t¡eaning Tou Ìrave orlr
to go to the great P
hilosophers to see that it is possible kr,erpress
.¡¡ih lucidiJthe m
ost subtle ¡eflections' bu m
av lind it diíli'r)lt
to understand the thought of H
um
e. ând if ,r'ou have no philo-
sophical tr¿riûing its im
plications u-ill doubtless escape vou' ìrut
no one *ìth anl:eclucation at all can fail to unde¡st¿rnd c:ractlv
$'hat tlìe m
eatinq of each sentence js'
.
The) have accepted tl'ie grim
realitl thât nine tenths of alÌ .rrititr{ i:
rew
ritiilg
h.
1A

FLtndam
¿ntaLç
.
P
erhaps m
ost iùpoftant of all- thev a¡e sticlders for continuiN
. Thev link
their sentences and paragrapìrs
as íeticuloush os ifther m
tght face irìm
i-
nal charges lor negÌigence.
B
ut rather than speak for them
, perhaps I should let a few
clear $Titr
ers speak for them
sel-'es. H
ere, first. is the distinguished B
¡ítish historian
G
eorge 4. Trevelvan:
The idea that histo¡ies rvhich are delìghtful to ¡e¿cl m
ust be the uork of

superficial tem
peram
ents, and that a c¡abbed str,le betokens a deep
thinke¡ oÌ conscientìous $'o¡ker is the ¡everse ofthe t¡uth W
hat is eâsv to
r'¡al Lrs becn diffi.uìt to ! rire. Thc labor oru ri¡ing ancJ
rervriting. cor-
recLing atìd recor¡ecting,
is the cìue exacted b;.evew
good book f¡om
its
autho¡
. The easil-v flouing connection ofsentence vith sentence and
paragraph uith paragraph has alu'avs been rvon bv the su,eat
ofthe broli
A
nd norv noveÌíst Jam
es A
. lvfichener:
I h¿r'e neve¡ thought of m
vseÌfas a good Ã
riteìr. A
ûone 'ho w
ants reas-
su¡ance of that shoulcl read one of m

r, ff¡st drafts B
ut Iì¡ one ofthe
uorldi greatest re$,riters
A
nd frnal11 E
.B
. W
hite. perhaps A
m
erica n.iost respected 20th-
celltu11 essa¡ist, $'hose consistenth. graceful str,le entitles him
to have the
last rvord:
Tlie m
ain thing I tn to do is rv¡ite as cÌearly as I can. B
ecause I hare the
greatest respect for the reade¡ and if he's going to the trouble of
reading
u'h¿¡ l çe u'¡;¡1sr-I'n-r a slorv ¡eade¡ m
vself and I guess m
ost people
are-',r,llr', the leasi I can do ìs m
ake it as easl as possibÌe lor hrm
to find
out l'hai l'rn iniirg to sa!, L¡]ing to get at. I re$'rite a good deal

to m
ake
it clear.
A
lticipate Y
our R
eadert R
esponses
The chief difficuitr" l-ith rvriting is that it seem
s a one-w
av process.
Y
bu can't see -vour reâders face. you can't hear her, 1.ou can't get
any
feedback from
her rvhatsoever. The novice rvriier, as rl'e've seen, is oblil.
ious to this handicap. The skilled rvriter, though. is
supersensitive to it.
B
ut he olercom
es it br,activelv im
.øgining a reader-in fact, im
agining
ThùtkingV
elt j1

Ìn anlr. different readers-jusi
as an experienced TV
new
scaster loolcnÊ
inJo the cam
,"¡a! unrrinking ere. ¿,ctiieh.im
agines a rìcusr
The l<ind of 'eader or readers,
r hat a skilì;d ¡riter
i m
oqincs rr ill,ìc_
pend,-ofcourse- on the occasion. tle trpe ofpiece heì rr.ritirLg.
¡nd othe¡
such factors. B
ut r.r'hater.er the occâsio; he'll assum
e thc¡ ¡eaàãr has a ril
lion m
ore interesting things to do w
ità he¡ tim
e, is reading at a last clip. anrì
is just w
aitìng.for on eacuse to tune o¿¿ú. Tl.ie rvrite¡'s "hàilerrg", theri.
is to
avoid gving her that excuse. The suprem
e challenge is to m

ake her quitrr
forgei the other things she rvanted tã do.
H
orv does the s'rite¡ m
eet these challelges? C
hieflv b1, en4tathy.
The rràole tim
e he s w
riting. het constantlv sr¡.itãhíng bacìiariá-ñnì froin
his osn m
ind to hers. Ljke a skilled cl.ress plaver helm
akes a dozen m
en_
taì m
oves for every actual one. E
ach oftheÀ
he tests as to the probabie re_
sponse it w
ill elici| A
nticipation, ìret lea¡ned. is the nam
e olihe gam
e. I{
he can anticipate a response, he has a fair chance ofcontrolling
ít. 5o ever_r,

sentence-ves. e;ery senlerce-receíves a batterv of challenges:
.
",{m
I droning he¡e? Is she ¡ead_r, to silence m
e? Is there a¡, u,av I can lighi_
en this up?"
.
"H
o$,can I get her to see-to/eel-the
urgencv of this poi¡t?',
.
'k the continuir,v,- sikvL here. or is fatigue blinding m
e to a bum
p?"
¡
"M
ight she w
elcom
e an analog,..here, o¡ is this ;bstràct idea ciear enough
on its ou.n?"
.
A
m
I treating he¡ as if she w

e¡e an idiot?"
.
"ls there an)-' conceivable u,ay this sentence m
ight confuse her?,.
¡
"H
ave I just used anv ofthese uo¡ds in pre!ious senierces?,
.'W
jll this phraie strike her as pretentious? A
nd, honestl¡ aru I usrùg it io im
_
press het or is this the onÌv w
ay I can erpress the thougirt cleanl¡,'
.
'W
¡ìl she get Ihe nuanc. hcre or had I bnter spell rt n,rt?
.
"C
ân she jum
p on m
e fo¡ ve¡bosrtr. here?"
.
'1!ill she hea¡ a stronglv conversatioral, li,ing voice com
ing th¡ough. or ànl

I beginning ¡q 5e¡¡d ìike a book?'
__ H
e's equally s'atchful about the w
av he paragraphs. H
e ¡em
em
bers
ali too uell encountering v'haìelíke paragraph¡ thai left him
sirikinc under
their w
eight, not to nention those m
iní-paragraphs
that had his eve"bounc-
ing dorr-n the page. Too m
uch or too littl; in ; p;ragraph, he know
s, has the
sam
e effect: it..vears the ¡eader out. H
e also.vatchãs the continuitv be-
hveen paragraphs. "Is the connection solid?" ire asks him
self. .,tr¡jll nr
reader Ã
'ant an even sturdier bridge behveen these pårts of m
v argum

enti
Is there any conceivable rl'¿v she can feel disorientåd hcre?,"

._
f.).lutn)L nt(ts
A
rd so on. and so on. A
.,riting $,ell is a long exercise in second_guess_
, .
I"
¡'arhizing-eran " kndotnon ,.ou.J,,. l"liì"ä_"j;:;""o,".
lr;r .¡. ,1,¡e1¡,¡¡¡¡on rocid. sensjrjì: ¿le¡rros¡. _agà"aì,ìi 'Iiiua
rr,"r,,
r ri,rr crrnplìcaiecl busrness B
ui l
. ìir rr , i .qiL'q R
";;ä,;""';; ,T:::l',"1:li ' lim
b'ng- t! arso rronder
'r,h .n, ,¡,",1, ,-,o,, ,, i"i..:":r:"", nen 'ou e genuinel com
m
un.^ated
,,,,,, r,, n,h,',, i,oi" j"";"ì ";:ì;J;å::';l iX

m
:l î:ï.:îJ:î::,
¡¿¿rl,.,r iun io¡ Ire, rhais doi..n,ìghr satisgln;+ìi;";;,ilï1r."r""
S
om
e C
oncluding Thoughts
7. lunùo jutrLbo is anotheru,o¡d for grunis ofthe m
ind. {um
bo lum
bo is
iìât cor¡es out rn fi¡sr and scco"ja.,tr, *¡"" oå"i" "r,,,1_ li.,*r"'
ior qaurself_that is r,,,hen , ou,¡e ,t,ll rrytng io f;;;; ä;iïi.ffi
about a suÈ
iect.
t
Î.i::.ì.:.,_l :-lll,:h ed rrrr ting for ¡'oursetf ancl begin rvritin g
for the read.-
''r: voul rnum
bo jum
bo*ìll start turninginto boi^ fid" p.ãr"ìì.."n,
icìlcc)s that m
ake sense.
l. lír¡r¡ r r.e¡C
er. can i get

_,. ou r full m
eaning in a single ¡eâding, horvgv¿¡_
..,t.J,,. ,u.gle rcadin.g tc oll .1,. ou "5 yçu_ro. m
ust fare up Io re iacL
'¡.,'ro. re "flicred.rrrh so¡re ,".;drral m
rrm
bo ,urn¡,.r " "t
"
,
] ll]" b.r.
, (.r¡edr ? S
horrr u o ,¿ "r¿ ,¡".1", .,'r",.rli
' l:::l::¡'å:Til;)l?:;,'.nry*o ^P
'";';;";d ;ii''"' nrst through
¡t--^.._r- ¡
_.lr (lor unconscious obscurities) and second
il"^-., lli.tlì,"' lou. rvorsf enenr /for "1, orh.r l"pse, Thts rpnds
ro
^ i
- "']'ll.ì:l ,r.ngeilecr or o¡rìr-Jrpd Jnd .,nd.rihought prose
u. .1! a t¡stc3utlon, let the D
recê
.,,, ..,,"-_ì""
:. j u:;! ;;,iii :ìi:ili;,ïi":î'T.iï: :;,f :

prolessio.al aurhor does and share rt r.r.jrh _,* "rJã ri"ìài'ö
,,.'"_
' T rr r'..er-.red ir sêêino .I.js r¡ir.,g ¡,rpror-d. noi;;p;;;"_;i
_J;
.t ) .:',1-::ï-:"i it rnrghr hetfborir vo,, u.,a.'o,,i l,i"nJ. ii"o,ì,ìuo,"
J'¡ nl ¿ rêln¿rli (,leorp,e B
erna¡d S
har| once l¡ade to rhe actress flle¡
T. r^. I Irss Te'n, hacl-"onf....d h".,"lu"t";";;;"i;;;1"ï;i
:'',0,,
. of a plar. he hajsent l.Ìe¡ for criticism
. S
L,"r., o,.ot" ¡u"1, to ¡".,
O
h. l¡othcr the N
IS
S
, m
a¡k them
as m
uch as vou like: *,hat else
"r'c,r,, v lo¡? !¡rl¡ e. er,hrng,h.t r,.li.r r"" I ."r.""rr-à"i,
¡¡,ns rg r.m
cs: bur if.'ou "onls,d". i, ,, .,:lliî
, """¿_lii ìn' '

iinres: and a line J0 tim
es ccnsicle¡ed is 2 p". ""nib;,t."".ì;;n,
liûe 49 tjm
es considered A
pd t is ,h",,;"it;;;;;;;","""
"
m
akes the dilfe¡ence ber*,ee¡ excellenc" ",rd;ã,;;;ì'
. a;)
aJ
upeners
It x ¡n the hørd, hard, rock_pile labor of seeking to u)ín, hold,
or dzserce a rea.d¿r's íùterest that the pleo-:tantàgony of unt_
ir,g alain corne.s irL.
-John M
ason B
rov'n
W
hat gets m
y interest is the se.nse that a uriter is speak-
ing honestly ard. fullg of ahat he knou,s u:ell.
'.-W
èndelÌ B

erry
Q
a¡ youreat the doctori. and you've just picked up a c opy ol N
eu;sw
eek.
-, Y
ou rdty brow
se its pages. W
ith your m
ind on autom
atic pilot, ¡,-'our
e¡e checls out one article after anothe¡ searching for anlthing
ìntrigúing.
S
ince yo.u're hungry for som
ething good, and you:re expectinivour nam
e
to be called, you're ruthless. Y
ou give each ,iory -"yË
" threä sentences
to prove itself, and that's all, but erperience*---or im
patience_has con-
virced you it's enough. In that brief ipan your m
ind aìsw

ers probably all
ofthese questions I
i
"D
oes this story ati¡act m
e?"
"E
nough to read on?"
"Is the w
ting easv. o¡w
ill J have to w
ork he¡e?',
"ls the style fresh orjust so-so?"
"D
oes the w
riter seem
sm
a¡t? r,,,ell-info¡m
ed? soi¡ited?"
25
Þ
-

4
.'--..-.,
fi[iddles
lly style of uríting is chiefLg grounded upon on earltl en-
thusiasm
for [Thonas H
] H
utley, the greatest of all m
astets
of orderly etposition H
e taugllt ùt¿ the intportance of gia-
íngto eùery argum
cnt a sìm
ple stnlctTrre _H
.L. M
encken
-:;
I X
Therr r ou em
barli on an ess;¡; -vou m
ay knou' exactlv w
hat -vou're sup-
V

V
pnréd ro do "ncl hos best to âo it liso- -vou're fortunate-.M
ost P
eo-
ple cìon't. The entire concept ofessar rnìting is fuzn to them
This-chapter
i
for the bervildered m
aioilç lt's an àttem
P
t io bring into focus the u'høf
¿ncl the hor¡, of the businåss. îhe ,rrl¿¿r of it l'11 explain w
ith an analogi The
lnu o{ tl is ratl.rer m
ore com
pÌicated because it invoh'es the ver-v process
itself For the next fes' m
inutãs tve't e going to follorv an iuaginary student
rigìit throirgh the stages o{s ritit.ig an ã:sa¡ and then I'll shorv
vou a m
odel
.llr I essarir* ¡itten Ë
, ^ fort,t"r' itltdent. D
ar.rny R

obbins' norv a profes-
sior¡.¿¡l sportsrrritei: so r ou carr see ivhat tÌie finished product
m
ight look like
i'h"t. .ou m
ari¿sL- has all this to do w
jth "m
iddles"? W
ell, vou're
about to see that the niddle section of an essav is inseparable
from
the
op, r.r .e. 'in¡^ it ctpl¿in. anJ Jer' ìo1" lìlc tliesis 'nd vou r*'ill
see thal
ll',, ,,,,,Ïdl" .' also inscparabìe fro'n ttrn p*o""'s b'' rvhich the
ihe:is is ar-
rir' e<ì ¿t, silce it am
ounts to a coherent retelling of that process
3t
First, the t¿/¿¿¡ of it. W
hen vou w
rite a term
paper, a final exam
ina-
tion, or even a ìab report. y'ou're engaged in w

hat's called "à?ositorv-" w
rit-
ing. E
xpository w
riltngis inform
atiae w
iting. Its prim
ary
go aJ is to explain.'
Im
pli¿it in m
ost expository w
riting, how
eve¡ is a second goal: to
percyg,þ. The tuo goals alm
ost invariably go together since it's ha¡d to
explain som
ething-a political issue, a historical event, a novel. a philos-
ophy-w
ithout iaking a position on it; ând once you take a position, vou
naturallv w
ant othe¡s to accept it as sound. That gets you into the ¡ealm
of reasoning-the realm
of persuasion. The w

hole point, finallr,; is to have
y'our reader respond; "lès, I understand now
Y
ou've convinced m
e."
Y
our situation as an eryositorvw
riter
closelv ¡esem
bles that of apros-
ecuting attorney, society's professional skeptic-persuader.
Let's develop that
analogy, for once you grasp it, you'll understand the gist
ofessav t'riting.
The A
nalogy
E
ven before the trial gets undelw
ay, our prosecutor is already going
about her im
portant first business-sizing up her audience. the m
otler jur¡
(analogous to yo:ur readzrs). H
ow

sophisticated are they? 4Ìhat are their
interests, their prejudices, their intellectuâl capacities? A
re they a solem
n
bunch, or do they sm
ile at her droll rvitticism
s? The ansu'ers to those ques-
tions ç'ill determ
ine the delivery she uses----€ven, to som
e extent. the ei-
dence she presents. S
he lost m
any decisions in her younger years sim
pll,'
by ignoring the cha¡acter of the jury but shei naive no longer S
he nol'
takes this p¡elim
inary testing-and-probing
period very serioushi (Y
ou as a
rw
iter, of course, m
ust reÌy on intuition, the larvs ofprobabilitr,, and guess-
v'ork, m

aking your task m
ore speculative but certainly no less ln.rportanl.)
N
ow
sheì readv to begin her presentation to the jury S
he could
spend sir m
ontls in N
assau each 1'ear ifshe could sim
ply announce: "Ladies
and gentlem
en, the defendant, Ivan Iso¡ is guilty. Y
ou can tell it from
the
m
ad glint in his eye. The S
tate ¡ests." U
nfortunatel¡ the jury rvill oblige her
'ìvfost ofthe *'orldt p¡ose falls under the heading of "er?ositon,
.Titing.'A
ll nerlr-
papers, popular m
agazines, nonlìcrion books,letteß, acâdem
ic aÉ
icles, speeches, guidebools,

Ìega-l bnefs, court opinions, offìce m
em
o¡a¡da-all
thrs and m
ore is expository llTitìng B
uì
poetry fìction, plays-that all term
ed "creative w
:riting," even thorìgh iii som
etim
es fâr less
creative thaa good expository w
úting.
þ"
I!
34
Fm
d/tùLentûLt
io pr.ooc 'lr-. Isorì guilt, ald orrlv facts plus cogent argum
entation can
pror,e anrthing. S

o she begins b¡' stating the essence of her case (the fhø-
r¿r) i,l c".efrlliy fo¡nulated language, "The S
iate w
ill prove that the de-
fendant. Ivan Isor, r.vith m
alice aforethoughi. attem
P
ted to level C
itv H
all
l.jtli a tauk." Then the prosecutor spends the bulk of her rem
âining tim
e
calling forth u'itne sses (lIte exidence) to prove her case, sar'ing
her star ex-
hrbit ithe tank itselfl for last so the im
pact u'ill be greatest. Ä
11 the rvhile'
though. she! achievine m
anv other ir.nP
oftant things: foxily anticipating
and delusrng the contentions of the defendantì lar'w
er; dem
onstrating her

orvn m
astery of the facts of the case; clarif¡'ing u'hat's really at isstre
and
u,hats not; delining her exotic legal term
s so the jury can grasp them
; sup-
porting each nerv charge rvith a u'ealth offactual proof; quoting
authorities
äitherìo buttress her case or to freshen her eloquence;
underscoring the
logicai sequence ofher evidence; and proriding the spellbound
jurors w
lth
a running sun.rm
ary of ho.v the P
ieces of the case interconnect.
Finallv she m
akes a closing appeal to the jurors (lhe conclusion) rn
riìrich shc neatl-v recaps the high points of her case-she Lnorvs
they have
sholt m
em
ories-and explains in the clearest possible w
av u'hv he¡ r'er-
sion of the case is the on1¡' one u .easonable person could
accept S
he ends

on a note of irium
ph, "A
nd last, ladies and gentlem
en, you have Ivan Isor's
stolen tank beforå 1ou, his fingerprints on its rvheel' the plaster
of C
it¡*
H
all still clogging its treads, and 'D
ou'n 4/ith A
ll B
urocrats' blazonecl on
its sides-m
isspeìIeð. exactly the rvav he als'a-vs m
isspelled it!" The P
rose-
cuto¡ has folloived the age-old form
ula of debaters: "Tell 'em
rvhat you're
going to tell'en.r, tell it to ;em
. and then tell'em
l'hat 1'ou''"e told'em
"" B
y

ioìiÑ
ng thls fonr.rula, she ha-s not onl¡'- m
ade it easl' for the jury to grasp
her argum
ent, she has m
ade it alm
ost im
possíbIe for them
not to
The C
hecklist
iirtually eveq.thing our P
rosecutor did finds an exâct corresP
on-
dence in successful essay w
riting l'lÌ stress onl¡' the m
ajor points'
A
t the top of the li.st ís a sire sense of the oudience Ifyou ignore
the
special charactãr oflour audience-, our jun
r ou m
ight ¿s rvell not even
begin. It rvould be iike telling a locker¡ oom

joke to ; our grandm
other'
ì
P
:,t( r.t^^)(L0 L-^ G
,--f¡,1.<24
|
(
{
Iu"
I
.tidtl".
'ji

o ¿-,-<+,Ã
'
t¿"--/t ( ¿ 4y/lu-h
,..
.
tl*¿za.tq 4./4^
.rller.a sure sensc ol audie' cocorne fire otfii:-ã.sãítkll îìiiclr
L¡cron,_
ïendou rnem
orize. ìou lì iindthem
ineren successfirl ,,,srt:

,,4 -,&
_rt/?t ,
l. A
uell de{ìnerl the'çL
2. A
clea¡ st¡ateor' ¡/o- 4 ai,l*
r 11
3. S
rrong er.iden"á. ,," ¡.!-
llç,-< . ¿lt--. ,<¡,,¡-¿r,-. 4.¿*..7J,
4. .{ ¡lean nafr¿tjvÊ
ljnc '
t r- , S
,jL .
J. A
persuàsie,clo(ins
)
t'(
1"r,o .r
)"¡u tru-' "
To understand dlejr im
poftance, you m
ust see them

in actio¡r. so ÌeLìs
::) bl]:* our im
aginan studenr rhrough the stages oi*ri,i.,g ,n,...*,,1
i hrs 'r tt give vou the âdded ad.an ldge of se.ing the kir,d c,f
pi"l,n -at,.Â
r'rork out olrrlrich strorjg openers -r,à m
iddl"s ,íe born
The H
lpotletical C
ase
S
uppose the student's assignm
ent is: .l¡rite a 1,500_rvord essav clis_
cussinglour vieu,s on capital punishm
ent.,' W
hat position should he iakl_ì
4¡ell, this particula¡ student thinks he already kn'orvs_he
happens to bc:
âgainst it"-but since he is nou, an experienced college senio., Ë
e .esolres
to suppress his notions until he ha-. thoroughly.. reseaiched the
subject.
,
It's partl,v a m
atter of pride: he doesn;t uant the facts to end up em

_
barrassíng his intelligence, In acldition, though, he w
ants his essar to rejlect
that he has open-m
indedl_,,, in1,p5¡¡g¿¡qd theìssues-the pros ¿s ir ell as the
cons. H
e hrorvs that if he doesn't do this, he rvon't be ablå to auticipate
and
defuse his ¡eaderì objections to his contentions-a cruciaÌ elenent
rn per_
suasive u.ritíng, just as it is in the courtroom
.
S
o he studies the subject, record.íng aII tl.¡.e eaidence he
drsco.,ers,
exam
ples, statistics, quotations from
authorities, argum
ents. That's -siep
one. S
tep |'vo is To organíze ltls/øcls. For this he ,rr"i listr. E
ventuallv he
com
es up rrith som
e 20 argurnentr Taoring thê .boììtion ofcr¡i,aì pun_

ishm
ent a¡d another 20 far oring its retention. H
aving done the iecessan
hom
ervork. he norr arrjres at stêp thrce: u..ighint, these argum
ents. This
{t
' The lornrula rlorks. or course, onlv rvh en it s kept discreetlr'
veiled The trick is to
fotìo$ it sìthoùt âppeâring lo; oihen'"ise voirr P
resentâlion sounds m
echalìica]
" Tie rie[s and argum
ents I ll àtfibute to the student âre.,his.,not m
ine l.ve ncve¡
resear.hpdth-is p^¿ì.ticùl,r subiect m
rself. so m
osn rê$s ñ1 jt dre ¿s unform
cd ". rh, r "r"
un r lorm
e.' t nlortunâtel. the poor studên. na sùller rhe consequen.
os or tnr.!¡¡6¡"aaa.
lne s hole poinr ol 'hi.iìcrlon¿i-ê-,rêàhon.rl-
,oL,ghi.rosl.or,ho*an^rs¿.m

i_t,thcg.r,
er¿ted ¿nd strucrur"d. The argrrnenrs ti,.¡ssir.iar"
I-rol.rcnl
enâbles him
finally to decide w
hich of the tw
o positions is m
ost coninc-
ing to him
.
That decision, though, is still m
ainly intuitive and unconscious ¡ather
than rational. W
hile het now
convinced that the case against capita.l pun-
ishm
ent is the stronger one, the actual proof of that position hasnt
yet
crystallized in his m
ind. A
nd the¡e's the rub. U
ntil he can prove it to him
-

self, using a coherent line ofreasoning, he know
s he rvon't be able to prove
it to his reade¡. The shotgun approach-a blast ofunconnected
reasons-
is out of the question. H
is essay m
ust be able to say, in effect, "H
ere's rny
position, and this is w
hy any sensible person rvould accept it." In praciicaì
term
s, this m
eans show
ing precisely hoø he reached his position, step
by step.So he goes back to his list of argum
ents to w
ork out a blueprint The
argum
ents are already roughly organized, but now
he m
usl classifu them
inio m
ajor groups-¡¡6¡¿l ¡s¿5s¡5, econom
ic reasons, political reasons,
legal reasons-and anaþe how

they all add up, how
they interconnect.
This is a crucial part of the w
riting process, he krow
s, for his ¡eader rvill
erpeci the proof of his thesis sorted inlo neat, logically
developing stagøs,
and this is precìsely w
hat he is doing norv.
A
related task, w
hile he's classifying his argum
ents, is to decide the
sequence in w
hich to present them
. This is a tactical decision. S
om
e of
the reasons, he ¡ealizei, are clearly m
ore persuasive than others. S
hould
the m
ost persuasive ones all com
e fìrst, or should he build his argum

ents
from
leasipersuasive
to m
ost P
ersuâsive, or should he m
ix them
? O
r w
ouìd
he be w
isár to elim
inate m
ost of the m
arginally persuasive reasons and
go for quality rather ihan qùantity? H
e puts him
seìf in the reader'.s shoes
ànd decides that if h¿ w
ere reading this essay cold, he'd be m
ost con-
vinced by qualiÇ
, not quantity, and also by an increasingìy persuasive order
of argum

ents. S
uch an orde¡ w
ould be agreeably clim
actic,_
H
es ready, he thinks, to begin w
riting now
. H
e's got the argum
znts
he needs, the szpporú for these argum
ents, The coherent grouping of them
,
and the m
ost i¿c¿ì cal sequence in.ivhich to P
resent them
. In addition, dur-
ing the ordering process he has w
eeded out (he hopes) all that is either ir-
.ei.r'ant o, -a.ginally persuasive, so that rvhat he is now
going to give the
reader is a t¡ìm
digest of his case.
O

ne im
portant thing rem
ains, how
ever, and that is to get clea¡ in his
m
inàthe nature of hß audíence.
T!o years âgo it never occurred to him
to size up his audience, for tw
o
yeârs ago he w
asn't w
ritÍng erpressly for his reader; he rvas w
riting sim
ply
Fødz¡n¿ntals
Iìd¿les
3T
i::*:ii:llliough
persuasion is .itaÌ ro tìim
, so it,s becorne palr of
rrs srandàrd procedure to second_guess his ¡eader,s needs, taste,
anã level
of sophístication. H
e knorvs that thii *ill d"te.m
irr", am

orrg "lî".ifr,rgr, fr,,
choìce of rnnc iserious, bantering. ironic, inarg,]"nti Ìri,
j,!;;ì;þ;*,
_
}orm
al. tem
pered. blunt), his.senrence strurtulre eontp)ex, o""""Jnd"lr,
"u,n_
pìer sim
ple, a.ndhis rnd. e1 6¡gitInent Iechnjc¿l nàniechní..o1. "bi;,,;r;.
subjecií'eì..{ll these decjsjons a¡" c.rucjal. lo¡rlrcr deûne,l,"
,oi.l.:,n.1
posfurc he ,hjnks are m
ost appropriâte lo¡ the occosjon.
In this case his ardience is roèll definecl: it r¡,.ill consist soÌeh,
of p¡o_
fessor B
uclde1,, a bright, am
iable fello"r, ",ho i, .lr";;;'.';-ing irl, iìì¿"*r,
"B
e polem
ical, but be practical.,'
W
ith P
rofessor B

ucklev clearlv befo¡e hinr in his im
agination," our
student finallv sta¡ts w
¡iting.
_ H
e opens w
ith a brief. fascinating liistorv ofcapital punishm
ent ¿nd
its rele'ânce as â social issue. This conrJ-"s -ort ofà"o p'"*g.ufn
fl"n
he ends his introduction w
ith a firm
position stâtem
ent:
This gradual trend torva¡d the al¡olition ofcapital punislm
ent ¡efle.ts a
g¡ow
ing aw
areness that such extrem
e punishì¡enidoesn,t
m
ake sense_
econom
ìcallr,-_ m

oralh,- or pragm
atìcalÌi
,
Thjs thesis sentence prorides him
(arrd l.ris reader)uith an im
rnacu_
latelv sim
ple structure for hjs essov It lets him
plunge right into explaiu_
ing the econom
ic reasons in his next paragraph:'
C
onside¡ed from
o "oloh econnm
r..fornt ofiê. ci"njr¿l pur r.ìr
n P
nl is a 'aste oflrum
ân resour.es Instead 6f þlJ¡¡g ¡ n,ri,. ,o,.,.n
should take ad'ant¿ge ofhis abiliq, to u,o.k "nd pui, årtit,rtián. '
' A
clarilìcâfion here: I a
noi endorsing the prÀ
circe of,t1l.Ìting for the teach0r.._
i e., gi!.ing the teâcher (or an,u- reade¡ for that m

attei. * hat r ou pr e."å"-fr",*"ìì a fr*,
at the expense olw
hât vou senuineh, belicre f l"t , . *U
o",. i ,,L rì.- ",..,i_g. ,1,""f<f,.
that the $'riter rem
em
É
e¡ ri.ho his ráacle¡ ts rn order to com
nrunrcate w
jth him
in ¿ Ìrrarn,rr
rl "r : h},rll' ro b" underst¿ndable
"rcJ sinn,nd ro hrn. For cram
pJe. rou don. 1.,1. t,, :,
rh-"-.e,,-ordrh.,,"j,.ou.¿ij.r"¿¡"tluì,"t1r,.',gl ,;,,,,;.."i''i;".;;i:ii,,i
,,. "
:nrnq.to tôth. )ou rsplnncuâq- rh.,t Lhc.hild.¿n und.¡t"r,,l ,.,,
i,o,11,.,,, "1.-r",-:
'rêJdis-norour.5im
iì,¡hralaqrerd,csn,a.gr,-.1...eb^to¡Þ
.*riir":i1,,".,r.1
..1
À
rgup rt lrrtore ¡hc u¡rênF l-^¡trr TL"r < ,lot otsone.r!. t. . o.,.m
.n .nn,. an.l eoocJ ,n ..,

iu"",oì],^,x1".,n ineargum
-nr,",,'".0,"..ì,.[,,r.;,::;;,,:i"ì.:i];ö.,".,
&
38
Fud¿m
¿ntalç
'Ilie next sentences in this paragraph develop support for that
con-
tentior.ì-part of the support being an exam
ple of a country that has tried
this plan iuccessfullri I'{is next paragraph develoP
s -other econom
ic ¡ea-
sons-buttressing this one. rrith the strongest resen'ed for last:
or let us overlook the staç1e ùg cor.rrt cosis. 1¡ith capital
p.unishm
ett,
â
sinele. speed t¡ial is .,ttl,e"i l of A
ltttost im
'a¡tabl) a case gill be reilied
,'"oi-"t.åìt ai tl,e conclenr,recl person erhausts every possible
appeal ancl

d"i"t,
I{e ends the section rr'ith a brief sur.u¡tar-r ofhis argum
ents uP
to that point.
W
'ith ihis st¿ge of his ar-gum
ent com
pleted he m
oves on tothe next'
tLe rr,orhì -¡asor. Tì'e.e. he !ll,-,.* r. are stronge- ""r
¡"rragraph:
B
ui bevond the m
e¡e econom
rcs ofthe issue' capitâl P
unishm
ent
is
a m
oral óuirage First. it ìs a basic violation of the Judeo-C
hristian ethic'
the corne¡stone ol où¡ dem
ocratic societv
FIe supports this contention br quoting-authorities such as

Jesus'
C
larence D
a-rro.o', and G
eorge B
ernard S
hart, all ofs hom
argue that com
-
pâssion rather than n.ìercile; revenge is the m
ost cilili"€d form
ofjustice
iH
er" he t"ke, tlìe opportunitl'to cãunter a probable oectior.r-the
old
Testam
ent notion thåi"un ."" fo. an ")'e'is just-'ith ihe O
Id Testam
ent
com
m
andm
ent supersedlng it: "Thou shalt not kill ") Then' ín a nerv para-
grapir. ìre tt.to.'e, o,.t to hìt seoond argum

ent in this group:
Fur therm
ore. câP
ita1 punìshûrent-u'hich
is essentiallv a l-r'nch
m
ob bv proxl'-los "., i1.," ,iart,lu.d, oí public m
or aliq' In effect it e¡-
lour"g"r' burb"rr,t t b-r' the state-indeed' rt brings societ do$'lr
to the
le..el Jf a ¡uthless ,',-turd","t O
tce the state hâs the porver to m
urcìer
u rtìr the grace ofthe statute book, histo¡ic¿lh it Ìoses aÌÌ se'rue
of pro-
portion. i.e have seer thrs happcn jìr. C
reai B
rit'ìjn in the ì S
th certu1'"
'rherr .'en ll,e ferl êsrcrirrrê:ue-t rl'ouo'ht litin¡ P
rrni'm
eni ¡tihc
qalloq's-
À
fter deveioprr.rg this P

oint' he's readv for his third and strongesi
rnoral argurnent, lri'hi"ú l,e táts off in another nerv paragraph:
Finallv aùd rnost seriousìr ' capilal punishm
ent strikes àt the ery
basis of m
orali¡' itseÌf 'f oralir,- resti upon ihe fåct that e are m
ortals'
ir"ti".a i-p".i""a tn o.,r undárstauditlg not infallible B
-v cont¡ast' caP
iLal
ilid¿les
i9
punishm
ent
presrrm
es that m
an cal] set liìnself up as G
od, and that juric,s
never m
ake m
istakes The m
oral presum
ption in this is sureiy as greât ¡s

that ofthe cri¡¡inal $'ho takes the life of his vrctim
.
N
orv he begrns his m
ain attack the pragrn¿ìtjc reasons. Ìith ihe
gusto of C
hurchill on D
-D
a;- he opens a nerv paragraph:
B
oth econornicalh and rnorally: ihen, capital punishm
ent sinpll
doesn t m
ake sense. B
ut the m
ost dam
àgrng indictnent against the practtce
is prâgm
atic: it fâìls to âchieve its purpose, w
hich is the deterrence ofcnm
e
N
orv rvh). does it not deter a crim

inal? B
ecause it ¡ests upon a faìse assum
p-
tioni that m
urder or rape, for exam
ple. is coùlm
itted consciousll. is prem
ecì-
itated. B
ùt this ìs paierltl) ùot so. 4ost câpitâì criì¡es âre clim
es ofpassiori.
com
m
itted unthinkingll. in tbe Ìreat ofthe m
ornent. The c¡im
inal ner,er con-
siders punishm
ent.
To support that reasoning, he cites statistics to shorv that the
vasi
m
ajority of m
urders are com
m
itted w

ithin the fam
ilt: ancl that m
ulcìer.
rates in states w
ith the death penaltv are no los'e¡ than iu states w
ithout ii.
H
e also cites once rrìore the exam
ple of G
reat B
ritain. r.r'here prrbìic er.
cution of picþockets clid not prevent the spectâtors flon being
depri..ed
of their w
allets.
M
oving to â neu. paragraph, he next argues:
S
o capital punishm
ent doesn t u'o¡k. B
ut ,1ìeû {'e t¡-" to lorce it to
uo¡k, rve find that r.r,e can't even adm
rnister lt fairl,! Fi¡st, the¡e ìs tlie eco-
nom

ic bias: ihe rich can alu'â)'s pa)'their $a),oùt, r'hile the poor
rrlll dì€r.
S
econd, the m
eting out ofthe death peralt"- often depends upon rolrorri
¡ou hl1, lor hunan life is not vaÌued eauaÌh,
H
ere he gives exan.rples of crim
inals lr'ho r.r'ere executed for kiÌling pubìic
ligures, u'hile fellorv crin.iinals r¡'ho killed people of Ìesser
renoit vere
paroled in three vears.
This brings him
to his conclusion. FIe succinctl-r' recâpitul¿rtes his
chielargunents and dr aw
s out their full im
plications-and periraps espe-
ciall,v the im
plications of ignoring them
. H
e'.s sE
ving, in essence, "H
erei
q'hat follor.r's if _vou don't bu)'. these a¡gum
ents." Then he end-. s'ith a sen-

tence neatlv sum
m
arizing his case:
The eridence all ir-r, ihe co:iclusions are inescapable:
econonicaìl1 the
proponent of câpitâl punishrÌlent rs a u'aster, m
oralh, he is a bankrupt. and
pragm
aticaÌh he rs a lool.
h
i
4()
Fundn¡¡¡¡ntaL+
The M
odel
W
hat lollorvs norv ls an actual essa,v t'ritten by a student nam
ed
D
ann-v R
obbins, r.vllo u'as a college junior ât the tim
e. It's a splendid ex-

am
ple ofall five points on our earli€r checklist- but especially
of#2, a clear
strateg. This is about as r'vell orgauized an essay as you are
likely to see. It
also illustrates the truth of G
eorge B
ernard S
harv's obsen'ation: "E
ffec-
tiveness of asseïtion is the A
ìpha and O
m
ega of style. H
e u'ho has nothing
to assed has no style and can have none; he rvho has som
ething to assefi
rull go as far in poiver of str'le as its m
om
entousness ând his conr'ictìon u'ilL
carw
him
."
The C
haracter and P

urpose of C
aesar
O
ctavius C
aesar in S
hakespearet A
núorry and C
leopalra em
bodes
all the ideals of ancient R
om
e. H
is pursuit of*orld pou'er at any cost is
consistent 'itlì the m
ìlitaristic, m
ale-o¡iented socieq of u-hich he is a
pari. The R
ornan spiút, it seeÌ¡s, is so deeply ingrained u'ithin C
aesa¡ that
there rs absolutell nothing else in the t'orld of an1'' im
portance to him
besides stren¡$h and conquest. In fact, he seem
s so one-dlm
elsional

a
cÌra¡acter that he rna¡'not be a tm
e characte¡ at all. I thlnk he is 4e¡-eLy.a
Ð
,m
bol-¿ioiibtrat recùrs in the P
la) not to câP
ture the im
âgiÌration o¡
r¡'ake one leam
som
ethìng about hum
an nature but ¡ather to provid€ a
ne;uuling stick by vhich one can calculate change in M
ark A
ntonv
,.,
,
C
ertainlv there are âspects of C
aesar! châracter thât cry oui lor
,
fui:ther developtnent b-v S

hakespeare. H
e is so,voung, vel acts so old
.{nd norçhere does C
aesa¡ show
the sensitiviql curiosit''. or frìvolit}"oiìe
m
ight expect froin a 23 i,ear-old. It seem
s that if S
hakespeare reall¡'
w
aûted to rr-tàke C
aesar a P
rovocative character. he could have done
soùethirg 'ith these qualities. B
ut be doesn't. li aP
P
eârs that C
aesa¡ is
so q?e-cast- so stereotlped as a R
om
an, that the r-eader or spectator
ntust ier him
for *,hat he stands lor raiher than for g,hat happens io
him

in the p)a¡, N
o m
atter $'hat the -situation. his actions are perfectly
R
onan. -A
.nd in this m
anner, it appears that his function is like that of a
''constaD
t' in a m
aihem
atical equatiot. a figure of never-changing vaìrre
Å
ntonl u'ould be the "r'ariable" in the equation H
e is changed by the
passion of C
leopatra. and C
aesa¡ s lunchot is to provide contrâst for this
C
aesar', ihen, m
usi not chânge. Three ìnstatces, covering the entire tim
e
span of the pÌay: b¡ing this out.
M
idÀ

l¿s 4i
I ,
,+.(
In A
ct I, C
aesa¡ criticizes A
rtony behind his back for the gooô-11r ì.
tim
es A
ntony has in E
g¡pt. The play has just begun, and C
aesar is
â.lready telling Iæ
pidus that
F¡om
A
Ìexand¡ia
This is the new
s: he fishes, d¡nks, and w
astes
The lam
ps of night in revel; is not m
ore m
anlike

Than C
leopatr-a- nor the queen of P
tolem
y .
.
.
Y
ou shall find the¡e
A
m
an q,ho is the abst¡act of all faults
That all m
en follow
(L4.3-fO
)
This is C
aesar's ve¡v first speech, and in it one fìnds a 23-1,ear-old
m
an condem
ning pleasure. C
aesa¡ cannot understand w
hy A
ntony does

lrot take up arm
s w
ith the trium
virate, r.hy pleasu¡e com
es befo¡e dutr.'_
This opening speech is a clea¡ disclosu¡e of C
aesa¡'s personaìitv. B
ut per
haps m
ore im
portantly, .{ntonyì vaÌues are being com
pared to C
aesa¡t.
N
ot only do w
e see the things that C
aesa¡ v¿-lues-m
asculinity, rvork,
am
bition-but it is signifìcarit that A
ntony is the subject of C
aesa¡'s fi¡st
lines. In tìe totaÌ scope of the pla;, A
ntony is the "subject" of ali of them

,
w
hetle¡ he is m
entioned b1' nam
e or not.
Then in A
ct II there is anothe¡ m
ore tellìng glim
pse into C
aesa¡s
cha¡acte¡. H
e and ,{ntony are trying to patch up their dam
aged ¡elation-
ship, but C
aesar pursues ¡econciliation in a purel¡' utilitarian m
anne¡. H
e is
a R
om
an fi¡st, a friend second. C
aesã âcts purcly as a soldie¡ A
nd he is
concem
ed w

iti A
.ntony as m
erely a once-fam
ous soldie¡ w
ho can help him
defeat P
om
per''. C
aesar is so w
rapped up in his quest lor t'orld pou.er that
he w
ill sell his sister'ï,hom
no b¡othe¡ / D
id ever love so dearly"
(1I,2.Ì50-151) to A
¡tony to get A
ntony's support. A
ntony seem
s to go along
w
itl C
aesa¡ to appeæ
e him
fo¡ the m

om
ent and end the conversation-
N
eve¡theless, the end result is that the sha.llow
¡ess of C
aesari nature is
er'posed again. H
e, uoÌike A
aton¡ show
s no regard for the beauq' of hum
an
relationships. H
e j-s concem
ed only w
ith using people to advance his m
ili-
tary goals. The fact that C
aesar show
s no love or com
passion-not even fo¡
his sister*hghJights the relationship betu'een A
ntony and C
leopatra.
C

aesar acts no diffe¡entlv in the {ìnal ,{ct ofthe play. In fact, he
appeaß m
o¡e rutiless. A
fte¡ A
ntoìiy't death, C
leopatra seeks m
erc,v lrom
C
aesa¡. C
aesa¡-w
ho in the w
ar agairst A
ntony has just slaughtered
m
any m
en in his oun self-interest-says:
b
S
he lC
leopatraj shall soon L¡os, of us
.
H
ou' honorable and how

kindl;' rn'e
D
ete¡m
ine fo¡ he¡. For C
aesar cannot live
To be ungentle.
(i1.58 61)
'', i
'
This is, of course, a joke. C
aesar has m
urdered P
om
pe¡ Lepidus.
and Â
nton¡. The "m
erc1"'C
aesar plans for C
leopatra is to use hei as a
pubtic display of his "generous heart." P
¡oculeius lets sliP
this notion; "let
the *,o¡ld see / H
is nobleness rrell acted" (':2.44-45). For ihe first iim

e
C
aesar is m
aking an ouhvard shon' of piq, and hndness and, tm
e to his
nature, he is sincerc about none of it. Furthe¡m
o¡e, the sparing of
C
ìeopatras life has a m
ilitary puÌ?ose-to m
ake hlm
look good in the
e)'es ol hrs subjects-just like everything else he does.
Thus C
aesa¡'s cha¡acter ueve¡ changes from
beginning to end- H
e
is not io be pitied o¡ even contem
plated to any great extent b)' the audi
ence. C
aesar acts sim
pl;. as a standa¡d bv rvhich one can studv the effects
of C
Ìeopairaì love on A

ntony-. S
hakespeare seem
s to be using C
aesa¡ as a
s),m
bol of R
om
an sociery a yardstick bv $'hich A
ntony's der'ìance f¡om
R
om
an ideas can be m
easu¡ed. There is nothing deeP
ol stim
ulating
about the m
an. H
is t¡aits are tegaiive and obvious, so obrious that I
think S
liakespeare m
ade them
this ta) on P
urP
ose C

aesar is supposed
to be a m
odel R
om
an, w
hereas A
ntot)'is suP
P
osed to be and is-a
nchl-v com
pler hum
an being.
The M
odel A
¡alY
zed
To heìp you consolidate rvhat;'ou've learned so far, I'll critique
this
essav in terrns ol the five-point checklist:
l. A
w
etl-dzfined th¿sr-s; Like our earlier im
aginary student. D
annv

did the necessary headrvo¡k before actualll- beginning to rv¡ite.
A
ll that
preparåtion gives him
trvo advantages: he can .rite boldlli because he re-
ãl'kno,vs hii stuff; and he can set foith his argum
ents ìucidl¡', because he
unde¡stands exactÌy horv thev interconnect The opening
paragraph illus-
trates both advantages.
IIis thesis is clea¡ and deliciousl-v controversial:
t think he is m
erely a sym
bol-a oice that recurs in the play not to cap-
ture the im
âginåtion or m
ake one leam
som
ethitg about húm
an nature
Fundøw
ntals
but rather to prolide a m
easuring stick by.*.hich one can caÌculate change

ìn 4 ark A
ntonl:
Itt also placed right rv'here ii ought to be for greatest effe.ct-at
the cli-
m
actic end of the opening paragraph. H
e leacìs into it rvith 1 ¿¡inÀ
, rvhiclr
prim
es us for a m
ajor assertion (this ìs the fi.si áppearance of 1l ancì r¡,biclr
also discreetfv im
plies his recognition that the asse¡tion m
av be consicle¡ecl
debatable by the reader. 4¡e are to knorv, in other rvords, that
he isn t a¡¡o
gantly advancing this notion as a statem
ent of fact, but rather as an opinion.
N
onetheless, it's a firm
l¡, held opinion, and rve adm
ire his courãge for
stating it so unequivocall,v. H
e's not w
affling w

ith us; insteâd. heì boldh,
crau4ing out on an interpretive lìm
b, just as l'll advise you to clo in C
hapter
9. The entire opening paragraph, in fact, is refreshingl,v direct
in nanneÌ-
another exam
ple of the front-door approach in action.
2. A
clear strategy: B
asicalþ-the opening paragraph is asserting three
things, each one leading to the nextl
A
. C
aesa¡ em
bodies the R
om
an ideal.
B
. In fact, he is ¿o¡å.ing år.rú the R
om
ar ideal-tlat is, he is one dim
ensional.
a w

alking s¡'rnbol.
C
. From
B
qe m
ust infe¡ that his d¡am
atic function is to servc as a
1'ardstick bv u'hich w
e can m
easure the change in his fellort R
om
an,
M
ark A
ntony.
D
anny know
s that ifhe can pror,e points,4 and B
, he can persuade us that
his thesis (C
) is, at the very least, probabh' valid.
In the second paragraph, he contents him
seÌf largei¡, w
ith am

plif_v-
ing on points A
and B
(chiefly B
). B
ut rvhen he says, "N
o m
atte¡ rvhat the
situation, his actions are perfectly R
om
an." rve can feel ou¡seh'es being
prim
ed to uiøu-r these concrete situations- for thís is rvhere the
proof ob-
viously lies. ,{nd, sure enough, here it com
es: 'C
aesar, then, m
ust noi
change. Three instances, covering the enti¡e tim
e span ofthe pla¡ bring
this out."
The plan of attack could hardly be m
ore explicit-or m
ore beauti-

full;- sim
pìe, three m
ajor exam
ples, one per paragraph. This is u'hat
M
encken had in m
ind w
hen he spoke of "the im
portance of giving to
everv- argum
ent a sim
ple structure." N
ote, too, the fine posrtioning of
this curtain-raising sentence. Like the earlier thesis sentence, it
rounds
offits paragraph, thus pro.,ìding its o,-n transition directlv into
the proof
(paragraphs 3-5). N
c.:t a rvord is rvasted.
44
Fundnm
¿ntals
D
ann1,'s parallel structure in the opening sentence of each of his

three supporting paragraphs m
akes his strategy even m
ore transP
arent:
a. "Ìn A
ct I, C
aesa¡ criticizes A
ttony
"
b. "Then in A
ct Il there is another, m
ore telling glim
pse "
c. "C
aesa¡ acts no drfle¡entlv in the {ìnal 'A
'ct ofthe pla¡ In fact' he appears
m
o¡e m
thless."
W
hat reader isn't grateful fo¡ such clear signpostingof the ãgum
e¡t? W
e

notice, too, a P
rog"ression in the persuasileness of-the exam
ples E
ach is
stronger than ìheiast, thus buildiig tow
ard an intellectually and aestheti-
callv satisfring clim
ar.
'
S
. ítroig etidence: D
anny has chosen representative exam
ples
''coverinq the Ã
tire tim
e span oithe pla;t" H
e quietly draw
s this to our
attenliori ro defuse the poisibìe objeãtlon thal the evjdence is
slacked
lfor exam
ple. alì f'¡om
the first half ôf the play) ln addition- on four oc-
casions he'has quoted actual lines, ra'hich greatlv enhances the
concrete-

,ness of the àxam
ples. M
any students w
ould .sim
ply argue by
s'eneralization. assum
ing that the reader u'ill suppìy the appropriate tex-
ilr"l support. D
anny prJper'does the suppofiing him
self A
ll the read-
er need do is read and enjoY
4. A
clean narcat¿ae i¿ne, There are no bum
ps in this essay E
ach
sentence, each paragraph, is hinged on the one-that precedes it
D
anny
*"s abìe io "chi"u-e úir-fint continuiq because he had a clear
plan of at-
tack: he knew
w
hat he w

anted to say and w
hat he had to prove W
hen
1,ou knou, precisel;' v"here your essav has to go, you can tell"
your ar-
il,^ent as'sim
ply and cohérentlv as if it rvere a story' w
hich in a sense
it is.
B
ut ihe continuity is also the result of careful craftsm
anship N
ote'
fo, inrtun"", alÌ the parallel structuring: the w
ay paragraph 2- repeats the
nâttern of D
âragrâph 1; the *a-v each oÍ those paragraphs ends u'ith a key
lenten"", th" 'åu p^t"gt"ph, á-i ^ll b"gtn "llke: the w
ay the closing P
ara-
sraph looks back tå ú""opãning p"t"graph' and so forth W
e have palterns
i"r'". if,"' organize rhe ideas ioi us,"thÀ
silentlv tell us hou the pieces of

the argum
ent relate to one anothe¡'
'5. A
perxrasiae closing: The final paragraph l¡ a beautiful rvrap-up:
succinct, båld, and com
pletJ enough to gathãr in all ihe m
ajor points the
essay has been m
aking !'e feel them
now
- luied in our m
em
ory
¿u : < /, /,Ø
*t
)'-
'
r,'i
,4a¡
(
-l
L">'ul"'o.-
6 l
Jl¡ ldl.'

q;
N
;, k' ¡2u i eo-
L,¡ :*Y
'- L¡ [
.'1."d- a2' !**
lç n.¡,
:-
|
,,"Y
fh" Im
portanõe of C
ontinuitr
<,¿ ++ ru::-
I't-," +fru ,4, ," ,è --l
ry(1 Ft,- ,-.¿ t ' C
4zv ¡, o- V
-t
,
.4¡hat follo¡s ìs really part ofthe ,.Final Tips,, section that
concÌudes
thrs chapter but since iti both lengthy and w
itall,v im

portant, I t_ant to drs-
cuss it separately:
iltt
G
ood w
riters are sticklers for continuity. They w
on,t
let them
selves w
rite a sentence tlat isn,t clearly con_
neqted to the ones im
m
ediateþ preceding and foliow
_
ing it. They Ì{ant their prose to flow
, and they know
this is the only w
ay to achieve that beautifr.l effect.
B
ut how
a¡e these connections to be m
ade? The bette¡ the
u'riter, the-less nô"d h", ha, for m
echanicaÌ .""rx of.onn""ting t,,i,

ideas, too m
anl, ofu,hich tend to ciutte¡ an argum
ent. Instead, he ¡e_
lies chiefl-v on a coherent understanding of i"hat he r¡,ants tá
sar,, a
sim
pie stvle, the occasjonal repetition oi key .rords, ancl tl.ie
careful
use of pronouns such as ¡his and that.In m
anne¡ he resem
bles a fur
niture m
aker r.vho uses interlocking tongues and grooves to do the
rvork of nails and scrervs.
.
S
om
etim
es, though, a situation rvill require a m
ore etplicìt connec
tive-such as u,-hen the direction of the argum
ent is turning o¡ u-hen an
rdea is to be paralleled or cont¡asted rrith in earlier ide¿. li
the.e situa_
tions. the w

riter rvill call upon a conjunctive adlerb o¡ brief transitional
phtle 1o signal thc kind of thought thatt com
ing next. I call this ..sign_
posting" ân argum
ent. H
ere he has choices u,ithin choices. A
s R
ud"oll
Flesch_points out in The A
rt of P
la¿n Talk, som
e conjunctive adve¡bs ¿¡e
bookish-that is, used chiefly in print-ri,he¡eas
othË
rs are conr.ersation_
al and for that reason less stuffl: In the list belorv. ihe boolesh
ones ar.e fol_
lou,ed,in parentheses by t|¡6i¡ çe¡,r"rsational equívalents. K
eepin m
ind.
though, that ihe equivalence in each case is afproxim
ate. not pe¡fect.
N
ote, too, that thc bookish adve¡bs can afford'ior, greater
,. arielv alrd

precision of m
eaning-u,hich is doubtless u,h)., t,
enãounter lhe,r'¡¡,rr.:
often in books than in conversatiorÌl
Frndam
entaLs
above all
accordingly (and so)
adm
ittedlY
again
also
besides
but
certainlY
consequentþ (and so)
finally
fìrst
for exam
P
le
for instance
furdrerm
ore
hence (therefore)
how

ever
in addition (besides,
also)
in conclusion
indeed (in fact)
in fact
--sòr
in particular
instead
in sum
m
ary
Iikew
ise (and)
m
oreover
m
ore specificalþ
(for exam
P
le)
nevertheless (but)
nonetheless
. on the other hand
rather (how

ever, instead)
se¡ond
sim
ilarlY
50still
then
therefore
though
thus (therefore, so)
to sum
uP
veL
It's a rather overw
heLm
ing list' isn't it? (A
nd it's- only a partial
"r".1 ii,,}'i'ri,";;
;;;;t
ofotransitional w
ords indicates' am
ong
oiler things, just horl irnpo"unì 'ignposting an argum
ent really is'
Ë
:ä',*1ir:å;ät

m
a gicail' happ" i; il'' c "
a t e d rhe srresl rvav I our
;"*]ï.tiì iio'" ¡o'u îou' i¿""i1"t"""' is by vour teìling her' These
¡re ihe r'ords vou telì her .uith ì;;*ti
uJu'k""p the iist,P
roP
P
ed
.l^- --'r fo'v,t-", t""""":¡i" "n """y lt rvill rem
jnd
:f i:':i':1;.;"äã,. in" ¿l'"aionaì signals she needsr it.rvill'sa'e vou
ìä:i'";,i;i
';;t^ ni'" bonu'l it *ilfsuggest an occasionar'new
a'-
:;"loiìil¡;;;åpi"'i,'
tn'pting 'our m
jn"Jto eçlore oiher direclions
"i:;*i-:;:i
; :'n'1 "'th"l""r tt'o'ugt.'t p"'n'pt' or a "consequenl l'' " or
a "for exam
P

ìe "
Final Tips
7. 'W
ell, u.¡hat dnes it finally adÅ
. up toP
', This is t}le readeri invari_
able question. Y
our essay is tle repþ, '1t finally adds up to this, Ln ûW
opinion. ... ." D
on't begin w
dting a final draft (there m
av be m
o¡e than
oael) until you have asked yourself the reader's question ánd
understand
dearl;' your intended repl;'- If ,vour repþ containi an original
perception,
ifit's debatable, ard ifyou've been able to state it in one s"it"n"å,
it', , gooá
thesÍs. trvow
go ahead and prove it.
2. Think ofy^ounelf
as a prosecuting attorney, think ofvour essay as
i
a case, and think ofyour reader as a highþ skeptical jury
3. To prove your case, youlll-gene¡ally. have to substantiate

seve¡al
lhings. The prosecutor. for exam
ple, m
ust substantiate that the defendant
had the m
otive, the m
eans, and the opportunity to com
m
it the crim
e. S
o
dete¡m
ine w
hat things you m
ust subitãntiate, classify your ev.idence ac-
cording to those things, and then substantiale them
, one at a tim
e.This is
called "di.'iding up the proof." Ifyou folìow
tlis procedure, you'll find that
structuring your essa1, is relatively sim
ple.
4. S
ignpost yorìr argum

ent every step of the w
ay. Ifyou have three
im
portant pieces of evidence to support a particuìar contention,
tell your
reade¡ so she can understand preciseþ w
here 1ou're going. Fo¡ instance:
"Three exam
ples w
ill bear this out. First, the original treaÇ
of 1923 . . . .-
S
im
ilarl¡ ifyou have three argum
ents and if one is stronger than the oth-
ers, save it îot last and label it as the strongest. Fo¡ instance:
"Finally and
m
osf;e5rously. capital punishm
ent strikes at the very basis of m
oraiit" itself."
(a/ A
sserlions are fine. but unJess you prove tlem
w
ith hard evidence, ¡

lhey rem
ain sim
pìy assertions. S
o, assert, fhøn vrp po1: ^sser+, then slppon: lLl
asserf, then rupporl-and so on throughout your essay. R
em
em
ber, eram
- /
c{
ples anð,fac-ts are the m
eat of it. They do the actual convincing; they aìso I
have their ow
-n eloquence.
6. S
om
e paragraphs, Iike transitional and one-sentence paragraphs, are
specia.l-occasion devices and follow
their ovn rules. (I'ìl be speaking m
ore about
them
later.) The norm
al paragraph, though, resem
bles a good essay: it has unitv

by virtue of being organized around a single m
ajor point. S
everal exam
ples m
ay
be brought in to support tl-rat point, and several ideas to
qualifl, it, and seueral
sentences to illum
inate its im
plications, but there's still only a síngb ruijor.p_oint.
"O
ne m
ain contention per parâg-¿ph"-ít's a sensible guideline to folloi".
If
you dont follorv it, vour points w
ill tend to get lost, and so rvill your reader
IIII6Tf,r1ãË${Ht&TÉ

M
ìddles
-l /.^,ztU
I

.f t.*l.fu'
-r'' L/L¿-*. .L.d-
L¿24¿-.it-t
48
Fundnnentals
7. Instead ol rierving the opening sentence of each paragraph as
a
topic sentence, as you'r'e probablv been taughi to do, trv this:
Ìúore than one student has said that's the single best tip the¡rve
carried alvay from
their rvriting conferences u'ith m
e. I sa1'' this onl;' to
underscore the difference it can nake in 1''our prose style. B
elou' are a
num
ber of paragraph openers from
a fam
ous A
tlantíc M
onthlg article
by' B
ergen E
vans called "B
ut !rhat's â D

ictionary Fo¡?"-a revierv of
N
{erriarn-¡ebster's
revolutionary Third N
eu¡,: h'¿ternrLtíonal D
ictionary '
The1. u'ill illustrate the bridging technique graphically,
a. lihat unde¡lines aìl this sound and fury'?
b. S
o n-tonst¡ous a discrepancy in evaluation requi¡es us to exam
ilìe brrsic
principles.
c. I'et u-ild r¡,ails a¡ose.
d. 'fore subth. but pe¡suasivel,-, it iras changed under the
influence of m
ass
education and the grouth of dem
ocracy.
e. .nd the paper. hare no chojcr.
f. A
nd so back to our questions: w
hat a dictionary for, and hor.', in Ì962,
can ìt best do w
hat it ought to do?
g. E

ven ir-ì so settÌed a m
atter as spelling, a dictionary calnot ahvays be
absolute
h. H
as he been betrarved?
i. U
nder tliese ci¡cum
stances, w
hat is a drctional' ro do?
j.
Å
n illustration is fu¡nislied b,¡ an editorial ìn ihe äshington
P
osÚ
(Janu-
ar-'" 17, 1962).
k. In part, the trouble is due to ùe lact that ihere is no standard
fo¡ stanrìard
E
ven out of context, these sentences suggest hou' skillfullv E
vans is guid-
ing his readers-building bridges for us. persuading us. 4/e
never com
e to
a ,ì..t parag.^pl, .,'ondering, '1'here am

I? H
ot' did I get here?-' To repeat
a potûi I m
ad¿ a lerv rnonrents ago: C
ontinuit doesnt m
agically happen;
it's created.
..':
J
¿'-..--..-,
.-7
Ltosers
The nost enlpllatic place in a clause or senteace is the end.
Thís ß the clim
zt; and, during the norn¿ntary paute that
folloøs, that last aord continues, &
it Ø
efe, to re1)erberate
ín the reader's m
ind,. It hos, in fa.t, tha LJst tL:,ord. O
ne shoul.d,
therefore thínk ttaíce about øhat one puts at a sentence-end.
-F.L. Lucas

[ /hat's going on in the m
ind of a skilÌed rvriter as he approaches his
Y
V
lìna.l p"t"gt"ph? Let s ¡evisit ou¡ capital-punishm
ent ;ùdenr just as
he ¡eaches that juncture. P
erhaps w
e can lísten in
O
h-oh, he looks bad- -eyes glazed, body leaden. W
e appear to be
calching him
ât a very low
m
om
ent:
"This is ridiculous-m
y brain's turning to m
ush, M
ay'be I'll just stop
here. The piece is r,irtuaìly done anyrvay-I've m
ade m
v m

ain points. B
e-
sides, w
hoì going to know
the difference?"
(E
nter C
onscience and C
on'¿m
on S
ense. They beat back Fatigue.)
"N
o, I guess I can't quit vet. B
uckÌev w
ouldn't accept an argum
ent
that m
erely stops. H
e'lIw
ant to see th e thing end, to enjov a sense ofclo-
sure. H
e once said that's a basic aesthetic desire in all ofus. 'E
verv ¡eader
w

ants his final rew
ard
.'
"Then, of course, theret the m
atte¡ of g'hat he'll be able to recall.
S
ince m
y m
em
orv certainly has its lim
its, I'm
su¡e his does, too .
. If
that's the case, his sense of this piece is bound to be colored b1,
the last
sentences he ¡eads. M
y opener m
ay have disposed him
to read eagerl¡,;49
&
k

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