Revision Instructions · Please revise paper, some statements are unclear or need more explaining. I specified some statements that require some revision. · Overall, there are many statements that are unclear. Make sure that you are proof-reading for clarity and make sure you are using terminology correctly. “The spread of Christianity and Buddhism was facilitated through conversion and propagation of the various sociocultural groups as compared to other religions” - Unclear what you mean by this. Do you mean that certain groups spread the religions? Or that different groups were spread to other locations? “This religion is characterized by five moral aspects that are against sexual misconduct, drug abuse, killing living things, stealing and lying.” - Even more so by the Four Noble Truths, so can you add that somewhere in the paper. “the missionaries based their ideologies on equality in the afterlife.”- What do you mean by "equality in the afterlife"? “During the spread of Christianity, several concepts were developed; thus the Catholic Church initiated uniformity within the religion as it was established as a religious institution.”- Unclear, and what about Christianity outside of Western Rome? “Hence, the followers were intrinsically motivated by the ideals facilitated by the predestined mission of the founders.”- Why predestined? “According to Wynne (2), Christianity and Buddhism were missionary denominations,” -What do you mean by “denominations”? Do you mean religions? “Therefore, these two religions relied on the followers and the evangelists to spread the teachings, since their beliefs and confidence encouraged other people to join them.” - What are some specific historical examples of this happening? Where did the religions spread? “ For instance, 80% of the Christians in the United States are associated with their ethnic churches. Thus, the rebuilding of their old temple, synagogue or church was their unique way of highlighting their identity as a community occupying new settlements.” - Good connection to today, but I need examples from the early time period of around 300 CE. “Despite that both religions were characterized by challenges and difficulties, its spread was based on their messages and theological ideologies.” - Unclear what you mean here. Answer the following question prompt in essay format. Please be specific with your answers, use examples to support your answers, be clear, clarify your answers. Make sure to have a hook, thesis, topic sentence, evidence, analysis, conclusion, ect. What factors contributed to the early spread of the religion Buddhism and Christianity? How were the spread of these two belief systems similar and/or different? Essay format template example Introduction · Hook Statement · Background Information · Thesis Statement Body Paragraph 1 · Topic Sentence · Claim · Evidence · Concluding Statement/Analysis Body Paragraph 2 · Topic Sentence 2 · Claim #2 · Evidence · Concluding Statement/Analys ...

1. Revision Instructions
· Please revise paper, some statements are unclear or need more
explaining. I specified some statements that require some
revision.
· Overall, there are many statements that are unclear. Make sure
that you are proof-reading for clarity and make sure you are
using terminology correctly.
“The spread of Christianity and Buddhism was facilitated
through conversion and propagation of the various sociocultural
groups as compared to other religions” - Unclear what you mean
by this. Do you mean that certain groups spread the religions?
Or that different groups were spread to other locations?
“This religion is characterized by five moral aspects that are
against sexual misconduct, drug abuse, killing living things,
stealing and lying.” - Even more so by the Four Noble Truths,
so can you add that somewhere in the paper.
“the missionaries based their ideologies on equality in the
afterlife.”- What do you mean by "equality in the afterlife"?
“During the spread of Christianity, several concepts were
developed; thus the Catholic Church initiated uniformity within
the religion as it was established as a religious institution.”-
Unclear, and what about Christianity outside of Western Rome?
“Hence, the followers were intrinsically motivated by the ideals
facilitated by the predestined mission of the founders.”- Why
predestined?
“According to Wynne (2), Christianity and Buddhism were
missionary denominations,” -What do you mean by
“denominations”? Do you mean religions?
“Therefore, these two religions relied on the followers and the
evangelists to spread the teachings, since their beliefs and
confidence encouraged other people to join them.” - What are
some specific historical examples of this happening? Where did
the religions spread?
“ For instance, 80% of the Christians in the United States are

2. associated with their ethnic churches. Thus, the rebuilding of
their old temple, synagogue or church was their unique way of
highlighting their identity as a community occupying new
settlements.” - Good connection to today, but I need examples
from the early time period of around 300 CE.
“Despite that both religions were characterized by challenges
and difficulties, its spread was based on their messages and
theological ideologies.” - Unclear what you mean here.
Answer the following question prompt in essay format.
Please be specific with your answers, use examples to support
your answers, be clear, clarify your answers. Make sure to have
a hook, thesis, topic sentence, evidence, analysis, conclusion,
ect.
What factors contributed to the early spread of the religion
Buddhism and Christianity? How were the spread of these two
belief systems similar and/or different?
Essay format template example
Introduction
· Hook Statement
· Background Information
· Thesis Statement
Body Paragraph 1
· Topic Sentence
· Claim
· Evidence
· Concluding Statement/Analysis
Body Paragraph 2
· Topic Sentence 2
· Claim #2
· Evidence
· Concluding Statement/Analysis
Body Paragraph 3
· Topic Sentence 3
· Claim #3
· Evidence

3. · Concluding statement/Analysis
Conclusion
· Restatement of Thesis
· Summarization of Main Points
· Overall Concluding Statement
Examples of factors that could of led to the spread of the
religions
Historical factors could include (but are not limited to):
The appeal of the belief system to people at the time
Efforts of believers or followers to spread the faith or
philosophy
The adoption of the religion or philosophy by key leaders or
governments
Conquest
Migration
Spread through trade routes