Those looking for help and support during their difficult time of alcohol addiction can truly benefit from attending AA meetings. Time and again, research has proven that AA does help. These gatherings have offered profound short- and long-term benefits to their participants.

1. How the Meeting Industry Can Help
America Recover
Meetingplanners,eventproducers,corporate speakers,soundguys,lightguys,heavyguys,andeven
rich celebrityentertainersare sufferingsobadly;rumorhas it,Cherrecentlyauctionedoff some of her
outfits.
One eventproducerwith60 yearsof experience,describeditas"the worsthe'severseen,"and
consideringhe onlymade alivingforabout30 of them, that's prettybad.
Meanwhile,despiteall the bailingforbanks,insurance,andautocompanies,thereare farfewer
meetings.Apparently,the theoryis,if the banksfail AAMeetingDirectory,the entire countryandworld
economycouldgowithit,while speakersandeventproducersare considereddispensable.
But if speakerssee nofuture intheirchosenindustry,theymightstartdoingcrazythings,like running
for congress,andthat wouldn'tbe good,nomatterwhichside of the political fence you're on.
It's the same witheventplanners,whoare sobored,they're now producinglocal ptameetingswithreal
Clingons.
But justbecause these otherindustriesscrewedthe pooch,isnoreasonforus all to suffer.We're ready
to motivate.Now!
So insteadof givingthose companiesmore money,give ittothe eventplanners.If nothingelse,we
couldshowthe othercompanieshowtotake a bailoutgracefully,bydemonstratingthe proper
grovelingetiquette Local AA Meetings,taxpayerswanttosee intheirbailoutrecipients.
Because,we'll followthe government'srules.If the governmentwantsme toflytothe North Pole fora
motivational speechatChristmastime,I'mthere.Andif the governmenttellsme Ican't use my private
jetfor that flight,I'mokaywiththattoo, since currently,Idon'towna private jet.
So,in contrast to the arrogant autoexecutives,we wouldbusourbestspeakerstoWashingtontothank
congress.Andnotevenonregularbuses.School buses.Andnotthe new ones.The oldones,without
heat,air conditioningorseatbeltsorevenattentive drivers.
Then,letthe meetingplannersworktheirmagic.Letthe economistsgobackto economizing,the
efficiencyexpertsgobackto efficiency,the motivatorsmotivating,andthe Doobybrotherscango back
to Doobying.
Who pays?Well,partlythe Ceo's.Some of themare still earning30 or 40 millionbucks,soif youtake
away,let'ssay,a millionapiece AlcoholicsAnonymousMeetings,thatwouldfundhundredsof
meetings.The rest?Well,we'dsimplymotivate everybodytoworkharderforlessmoney,whichcould
thenpay forour speaking.

2. Andwhile itmaynot seemthe ideal time,whatcouldbe more importantthenupliftingdemoralized
employees?
Firstof all,more meetingsstimulatethe economy.
Eventworkersdevourenormousamountsof coffee,soda,pizzaandchocolate chipcookies,whichhelps
Starbucks,coke,dominos,andKeeblerinthatorder.That's stimulus!
Meetingshelphotels,thusenablingcabdriversandillegalmaidstokeepsendingmoneybacktotheir
native countries,whichresultsinmore touristscomingtoAmerica.That'sstimulus!
Rightnow,withoutbusinesstravelersattendingmeetings,firstclassonthe airlinesisemptierthenthe
highpricedseatsat the newYankee Stadium.More meetings.Stimulus!
Andlastly,there isnosubstitute forpressingthe flesh,particularly,if you're meetinginVegas.
But whatif there isnomeetingbailout?
Well,wheneverthe sanitationdepartmentgoesonstrike,the garbage pilesupandfesterswithinsects,
rats, and disease. Withthe drop-off inmeetings,asimilartoxicbuilduphasoccurredincorporate
America.
Because speakersare the cheerleadingsectionof America.Buthow cheerycanAmericabe,if the
speakersare all unemployed?
Andwhile,Idon'twant to implythatanythingterriblecouldhappen,itisawell-knownfact,thatmany
serial killersare actuallyex-motivational speakerswhose saleshave droppedoff.So,if they're noteven
workingat all;well,youdothe math.
So,call yourcongressmanandcounty commissioners,stalkyoursenators,(exceptforMinnesota),write
the white house,twitteryourtowncouncilmen,andmentionittoyourmayor.It's a moral issue.In
orderto save our familyvalues,we musthave abailout
PresidentObama,the ball'sinyourcourt. If you can kill aflywithone hand,you can give usa bailout
withthe other.
Harry Freedmanisa corporate comedyimpostor,emcee andvideographer.He hasbeenprofiledinThe
NY Times,andhas openedinmajortheatersforRayRomano.He iscurrentlysufferingfromhairlossand
sciatica,butwill still travel anywhere inthe free worldtoentertainanaudience evenwithouthisprivate
jet.