3. Quiz Question: Which sentence below contains
faculty parallelism and needs correction?
1. Police dogs are used for finding lost children, tracking
criminals, and detecting bombs and illegal drugs.
2. It is usually better to study for an exam over a period of time
than cramming the night before the test.
3. Parents who supervised the new playground were pleased that
preschoolers played congenially and that everyone enjoyed
the sandbox.
7. Parallelism
Parallelism involves matching
clauses with clauses
Example: Parents who supervised the new playground
were pleased that preschoolers played congenially and
that everyone enjoyed the sandbox.
8. Parallelism
In comparisons linked with than or as, the elements being
compared should be expressed in parallel grammatical
structure. (page 118 Rules for Writers)
Example in need of Correction—What is the comparison
being made: It is usually better to study for an exam
over a period of time than cramming the night before
the test.
Studying vs. Cramming
9. Parallelism
Two ways of correcting:
It is usually better to study for an exam over a period of
time than to cram the night before the test.
It is usually better studying for an exam over a period of
time than cramming the night before the test.
10. Parallelism
Practicing parallelism when you express ideas makes for
clear, smooth writing.
In what part of an essay is the need for parallelism most
common and most important?
The thesis statement of an essay often lists ideas; thus,
parallelism becomes especially important.
11. Quiz Question: Parallelism
Revise this Sample Thesis Statement: Social networks
not only invade people’s privacy but have also changed
drastically overtime.
12. Parallelism
Sample Thesis Statement: Social networks not only
invade people’s privacy but have also changed
drastically overtime.
Improvement: Facebook and Twitter have changed
formats since their inception and have become invasive
of people’s privacy.
14. Quiz Question: Thesis Statements
Which thesis statement below is most effective and why?
1. Morehouse College has a very diverse population of
students.
2. Morehouse College students come from all over the
United States and the world and have wide-ranging
career plans
3. Though Morehouse College is a historically black
college, its students come from a variety of racial
backgrounds, possess wide-ranging career goals, and
originate from areas within and outside of the U.S.
15. Thesis Statements
A thesis statement must be specific
A thesis statement should contain an assertion—take
some sort of position, opinion
16. Assertion, Introduction
Use your introduction to address the opinion you oppose;
then, use your thesis to express your opinion/position.
Historically Black Colleges (HBCUs) have been attacked
recently by those claiming that they lack diversity. These
attacks have focused primarily on the racial makeup of the
institutions, failing to address the racial makeup of majority
institutions which could also be accused of a racial
imbalance. Too often, few individuals really examine the
student body of HBCUs. If such an examination were to take
place, many would see that HBCUs, including those with the
most restrictive student-body populations, are quite diverse.
Morehouse College, for example, though the nation’s only all-
male HBCU, in no way lacks diversity because its students
come from a variety of racial backgrounds, possess wide-
ranging career goals, and originate from areas within and
outside of the U.S.
17. Elaborating
Thesis: Morehouse College, for example, though the
nation’s only all-male HBCU, in no way lacks diversity
because its students come from a variety of racial
backgrounds, possess wide-ranging career goals, and
originate from areas within and outside of the U.S.
Topic Sentence: Students from a Morehouse College are
not a monolithic group racially.
18. Topic Sentence—How to Elaborate
Topic Sentence: Students from a Morehouse College are not a
monolithic group racially.
What—What are the racial and ethnic backgrounds of many of the
students here at Morehouse?
How—How is that racial and ethnic difference expressed: look,
dress, culture, music, clothes, language; how have people
reacted to their unique racial and ethnic background
Why—Given their background, why did they choose to come to
Morehouse College?
When--
Where--
Who—who are these students racially diverse, ethnically diverse
students? Do they come from the western, the east, the south—
from anther country?
Editor's Notes
Have them choose the correct answer individually and write an explanation for why they made the choice that they did.
Use of active verbs help formulate an effective thesis statement:Successful College Writing, pages 126-27Rules for Writers: page 112Make an assertion—think about some argument and opinion and how you might answer that argument or opinion
Taking a position—pretend that you are countering someone else’s opinion: what would you say—what you would say will become your opinion
May need to change the thesis slightly so that it there is a smooth flow from the intro. to the thesis.
Topic Sentence: The sentence that will focus your paragraphs.
As you ask yourself these questions, stay focused on the topic sentence so that you do not get off focus.
