Lesson xiv the fourth commandment


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A Catholic understanding of the Fourth Commandment

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Lesson xiv the fourth commandment

  1. 1. THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT : “Honor your Father and your Mother” Dennis Raymond P. Maturan De La Salle-College of St. Benilde 2011
  2. 2. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Honor your father and you mother: that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God gives you. (Exodus 20:12) </li></ul>
  3. 3. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>How do we honor our father and mother ? </li></ul><ul><li>Some equate honor with blind obedience. The biblical Greek word for &quot;honor&quot; however, is tima does not imply obedience or subservience. </li></ul>
  4. 4. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Most adolescents are becoming increasingly aware of the imperfections and shortcomings of their parents. It can be noticed that they want to honor their fathers and mothers but are confused by the messages within our society that declare that personal faults negate all authority. </li></ul>
  5. 5. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Other times they are crippled by anger and resentment towards their parents because of disagreements, arguments and in extreme cases, even abuse. This dilemma affects adult children as well. </li></ul>
  6. 6. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>How, then, do we understand the meaning of &quot;honor your father and mother&quot;? </li></ul>
  7. 7. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>When we are young, we depend on our father and mother for nearly everything. They feed, clothe, house and protect us. </li></ul>
  8. 8. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>They teach us how to respect God, ourselves and other people through using good words, sharing, and expressing kindness. They offer stern warnings and discipline especially when we are in danger. </li></ul>
  9. 9. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>As we grow older, our parents teach us the importance of responsibility and accountability. We are given chores to complete along with our homework from school. When we fall short, we have consequences like losing privileges or being grounded. </li></ul>
  10. 10. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>This is where it gets tough for kids because the fallen state of rebelliousness rears its head in more powerful ways. It is difficult for parents to discern how much of this rebelliousness to allow as an expression of our growing and healthy independence. </li></ul>
  11. 11. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Some parents take their child's rebelliousness much too personally and then discipline in anger to restore their power and pride. </li></ul>
  12. 12. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Either way, what's a kid to do? Children must remain obedient to their parents, even when mom and dad cross the line because it is an opportunity to learn and express humility. That's difficult even for adults, to act as if you are wrong even though you may be right. </li></ul>
  13. 13. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Being humble before your parents teaches you how to be humble before God and other people. This is important because at some point we become adults and parents, and who are we going to be responsible and accountable to? Ultimately to God! </li></ul>
  14. 14. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>For the adult children, we honor our parents by forgiving them. In other words, we cannot continue to blame our parents for how they raised us. No mother or father is going to be perfect in their parenting </li></ul>
  15. 15. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>It's a fact of life. Some adults spend their whole life in bitterness, anger and resentment because mom and dad did not praise enough, or disciplined too much (or too little), didn't get me into sports, music or a foreign language, or didn't bring me to church (or brought me too much). </li></ul>
  16. 16. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Enough-already! We're adults now (or almost) and we are responsible for ourselves. Grow up! The first step is to forgive them. The next step is to thank them for all the good things they did. </li></ul>
  17. 17. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Another way we honor our mother and father is this: </li></ul><ul><li>when someone sees how you act, what you say, how you treat others, how you serve society, can they say, &quot;Wow, I'll bet your mother and father are proud of you! They did a good job raising you! </li></ul>
  18. 18. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Can people look at you and say that? </li></ul><ul><li>If they can, you have just honored your mother and father. Every time we do something good, just, pure, holy, we bring honor to our parents. </li></ul>
  19. 19. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Another way to honor our parents, is to take care of them. As we all grow older, mom and dad are going to need more of our help. It starts with little chores, like when we were young such as sweeping the floor and washing the dishes. </li></ul>
  20. 20. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Then if you already have a family of your own, it may progress to calling and visiting often to make sure their okay. Eventually, when they cannot handle living on their own, you welcome them to live with you and your family. </li></ul>
  21. 21. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Nursing homes and care centers are blessing and a curse. They are a blessing for people who have no family to take care of them and a curse for those who do but will not. If at possible, take care of your parents in your own home. If we want our children to take care of us, do they see us honoring our parents by taking care of them? </li></ul>
  22. 22. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>Now let’s go to more concrete details of the Fourth Commandment as we are commanded to practice filial love! </li></ul>
  23. 23. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>A. Fulfillment </li></ul><ul><ul><li>It is God’s will that after Him, we should honor our parents, to whom we owe life and have handed to us the knowledge of God. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Honor and respect those vested with God given authority. </li></ul></ul>
  24. 24. The Fourth Commandment <ul><ul><li>3. Kinship should be established with members of extended family. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>4. Honor, affection gratitude towards elders and ancestors should be observed. </li></ul></ul>
  25. 25. The Fourth Commandment <ul><ul><li>5. Duties of parents, children, teachers, employers and both civil and church leaders must be observed and respected. </li></ul></ul>
  26. 26. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>B. True Meaning </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>It is the obligation of grown children to take care of their observed aged parents (Sir. 3:12) . </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Human life of parents are not to be evaluated in terms of productivity. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Both parents are to receive equal respect. . </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Children must uphold Filipino cultural values of respect </li></ul></ul></ul>
  27. 27. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>C. Obstacles (in the Philippine setting) </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Not all parents are “loving parents”. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Existence of pains of “growing up”. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Generation gap. </li></ul></ul></ul>
  28. 28. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>D. Respect for Parents </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Revering them as holding God’s place. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Accepting corrections willingly. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Excusing and hiding their faults. </li></ul></ul></ul>
  29. 29. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>E. Duties of Parents </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Educating their children as preparation for their future. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Provide temporal, physical, especially spiritual welfare. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Uphold moral values. </li></ul></ul></ul>
  30. 30. The Fourth Commandment <ul><li>F. Violations </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Disrespect </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Unkindness </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Disobedience (minors need to follow obey their parents wishes as long as it is not immoral; adult children should listen to parent’s advice though obedience is not absolute anymore). </li></ul></ul></ul>