1. The Expurgation of Obfuscation
How Writing in Clear Language
Saves Time, Money and Sanity
John Rausch

2. Moe said Larry killed Curly.
Moe, said Larry, killed Curly.

3. Poor writing is expensive.
It costs American businesses
more than $3 billion a year.

4. Poor writing is expensive.
As much as 40 percent of the total costs
of managing all business transactions
is caused by poor communications.

5. Insurance’s billion-dollar headache.
Poor writing skills cost the insurance industry
more than $1 billion annually.

6. Insurance’s billion-dollar headache
• Careless writing leading to bad-faith lawsuits
• Procrastination due to shaky writing skills
• Inappropriate tone that alienates insureds and prolongs
settlements
• Vagueness that wastes time as readers seek clarifications

7. Poor communications
costs my company
at least ten percent of sales.
Fortune 500 Communications Director

8. Obfuscation.
To confuse, bewilder or stupefy.
To make obscure or unclear.

9. Why do we do it?
• We want to sound smarter

10. Why do we do it?
• We want to sound smarter
• That’s how professionals write, right?

11. Why do we do it?
• We want to sound smarter
• That’s how professionals write, right?
• At the end of the day, we repeat what we hear

12. I believe that this nation should commit itself
to achieving the goal, before this decade is out,
of landing a man on the moon
and returning him safely to the earth.

15. The Literacy Gap

16. The Literacy Gap
Consider the reader:
• 45 million adults in the U.S. are in Level 1
– Functionally illiterate; not having enough reading skills for
daily life

17. The Literacy Gap
Consider the reader:
• 45 million adults in the U.S. are in Level 1
– Functionally illiterate; not having enough reading skills for
daily life
• 60 million adults are in Level 2
– Reading skills below the 6th-grade level

18. The Literacy Gap
Consider the reader:
• 45 million adults in the U.S. are in Level 1
– Functionally illiterate; not having enough reading skills for
daily life
• 60 million adults are in Level 2
– Reading skills below the 6th-grade level
• Almost 50 percent of adults are in Levels 1 and 2

19. The Literacy Gap
Consider the reader:
• 45 million adults in the U.S. are in Level 1
– Functionally illiterate; not having enough reading skills for
daily life
• Almost 60 million adults are in Level 2
– Reading skills below the 6th-grade level
• Almost 50 percent of adults are in Levels 1 and 2
• The largest group (70 million adults) is intermediate
readers
– Reading skills at grades 7-9 levels

20. The Literacy Gap
Consider the reader:
• English as a second language

21. The Literacy Gap
Results in communications that:
• are misunderstood
• go unread
• require additional time and effort to understand

23. Addressing the Literacy Gap
• People read most comfortably two grades below their
achieved reading level
• College graduates read comfortably at the 10th-grade
level
• High school graduates read comfortably at the 8th-grade
level
• The most popular books are those written at the 7thgrade level

24. Saving Time and Money
The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs tested newly
written plain-language form letters
• Support calls were reduced from 1.5 to 0.27 calls per letter
• Changes in one letter alone saved the Department an
estimated $40,000 per year

25. Saving Time and Money
General Electric issued a new plain-language software
manual to its corporate clients
• Reduced support calls from each customer by an average
of 125 per month
• Saved GE between $22,000 and $375,000 for each
corporate customer

26. Saving Time and Money
A study by the U.S. Navy concluded that business
memos written in plain language could save between
$27 and $37 million of its officers’ time each year.

27. Saving Time and Money
Ground-operation manuals revised in plain language
saved FedEx an estimated $400,000 in the very first year.

28. Simplicity is the
ultimate sophistication.
Leonardo da Vinci

29. The Case for Short Words, by Richard Lederer
When you speak and write, there is no law that says you have to use big words. Short
words are as good as long ones, and short, old words—like sun and grass and home—
are best of all. A lot of small words, more than you might think, can meet your needs
with a strength, grace and charm that large words do not have.
Big words can make the way dark for those who read what you write and hear what
you say. Small words cast their clear light on big things—night and day, love and hate,
war and peace, life and death. Big words at times seem strange to the eye and the ear
and the mind and the heart. Small words are the ones we seem to have known from
the time we were born, like the hearth fire that warms the house.
Short words are bright like sparks that glow in the night, prompt like the dawn that
greets the day, sharp like the blade of a knife, hot like salt tears that scald the cheek,
quick like moths that flit from flame to flame, and terse the like the dart and sting of a
bee.
Here is a sound rule: use small, old words where you can. If a long word says just what
you want to say, do not fear to use it. But know that our tongue is rich in crisp, brisk,
short words. Make them the spine and heart of what you speak and write. Short
words are like fast friends. They will not let you down.

31. Give it to me straight
Weasel words and hedging can cost an insurance firm.
A single use of the word "may" in a claim letter
convinced one court that ambiguous language
contributed to bad faith.
Payout: $840,000.

32. The difference between the right word
and almost the right word
is like the difference between
lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain

33. The secret of good writing:
Strip every sentence to its cleanest components
• Every word that serves no function
• Every long word that could be a short word
• Every adverb that carries the same meaning that’s already
in the verb
• Every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure
of who’s doing what

34. The secret of good writing:
Strip every sentence to its cleanest components
• Every word that serves no function
My personal feeling is this initial kickoff meeting is very
important, and every single employee should and must
attend.
This kickoff meeting is important, and every employee
should attend.

35. The secret of good writing:
Strip every sentence to its cleanest components
• Every long word that could be a short word
We must utilize every methodology that mitigates the
dissatisfaction our customers are experiencing.
We must use every tool to address our customers’
dissatisfaction.

36. The secret of good writing:
Strip every sentence to its cleanest components
• Every adverb that carries the same meaning that’s already in
the verb
It is absolutely essential that we collectively gather our
teams to begin advance planning.
We must gather our teams to begin planning.

37. The secret of good writing:
Strip every sentence to its cleanest components
• Every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure of
who’s doing what
A vote was taken by the committee and the consensus
indicated that the team would assign a representative
who would gather more information on this matter.
The team assigned a member to gather information.

38. The rapidly declining
American attention span.

39. Luke Skywalker lived on a farm on a distant planet. He learned he
was a Jedi knight after he got a message from Princess Leia. Luke
then met an old man named Obi-Wan Kenobi and found out
about his past. After that, he teamed up with Han Solo and
Chewbacca to join the rebels and fight the Empire, which sought
to control the universe. During that time, he met Darth Vader,
who used the Force for evil and killed a lot of people who
opposed him. The Empire was very powerful and had a lot of star
destroyers and fighters, and the rebels were badly outnumbered.
But then the rebels came up with a plan to destroy the Death
Star (site of Darth Vader’s command post) by getting blueprints
and launching a surprise attack with all of their fighters. It was a
crazy plan, but it caught the Empire by surprise and the rebel
force defeated the Empire!

40. Luke Skywalker, a farmer living on a distant planet, learned he was a
Jedi knight:
• He received a message from Princess Leia
• He met Obi-Wan Kenobi and learned about his past
Joining the rebels
Luke joined the resistance against the Empire, teaming up with Han
Solo and Chewbacca. Their goal was to defeat Darth Vader, who used
the Force for evil. The rebels were heavily outnumbered.
Destroying the Death Star
The rebels hatched an audacious scheme to destroy the Death Star:
• They obtained blueprints of the construction
• They launched a surprise attack with all their fighters
The attack was a success, and the Empire was defeated.