Nora's Pictures at an exhibition

1. Pictures at an Exhibition:
Friendship Throughout the Ages
By: Nora Polaski

2. What is friendship?
friend·ship
ˈfren(d)SHip/
noun
● the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.
● a relationship bewteen friends
● a state of mutual trust and support between allied nations

3. Friendship in Human Development
Friendship is something we share with those around us. It
is something we feel; we trust, love, and depend on our
friends. Friendship has played an important part in our
development since a young age. Whether we realize it or
not, friendship is versatile and meaningful to us at each
stage of our life. However, friendships also take different
roles as we grow.

4. Prebirth: Inside the Womb
While inside the womb, we have no sense of
what anything is. We are simply part of our
mother: she decides what happens to us on a
daily basis. At this point, we don’t really have
“friendship” with anyone, besides ourselves, but
we are not even aware of it. We are growing and
developing at a great rate and that is all we have
time to focus on, although we are not really
focusing at all. Some may consider our mother to
be our friend at this stage, while others would
say that we are a part of her. While we are inside
the womb, we are unaware of others and
therefore cannot fathom or focus on building
relationships with those around us.

5. Birth: Newborn
When we come into this world we are very overwhelmed.
We are instantly trying to adapt to our new environment
and new people around us. After a couple weeks, we
become used to a routine. We are constantly with a man
or woman who is comforting us and catering to our every
need. This is our first friendship. We may not realize it at
the time, but we trust these people who are taking care of
us. We cannot do anything for ourselves, so we must rely
on others to do everything for us. This is not the
traditional form of friendship that we form later in life,
but it is still a connection with another human being. At
this stage of life, friendship consists of solely depending
on our mother to do everything.

6. Infancy
As we start to grow and develop, we still are very
dependent on our parents. We are able to do more on our
own but still need help. As time goes on our parents are
still our only form of friends, for the most part. We start
to interact with others, mimicking smiles, faces,
responding to calming voices. These are the things that
build the foundation for us to form friendships later in
life. Much of what we do is imitation. We may be put into
groups of other infant, and with them we imitate as well.
We start to develop vocabulary, and attempt to
communicate with those around us through that.
Eventually we develop feelings such as happiness,
sadness, and empathy. By having these we are able to
connect with others that are not only our parents, but
also fellow infants. These are the friendships we hold;
people who we can share basic emotions and movements
with.

7. Early Childhood(Ages 3-7)
We continue to grow and develop physically and
mentally, and our friendships grow as well. Sometimes
we form imaginary friends, who are people who we think
would be the “ideal” friend. We have special buddies that
we build bonds with, especially those of the same sex. We
start to consider how others feel about situations, and
take their reactions into account before we do things. We
are also starting school within our early childhood, and
this is a place that fosters opportunities for friendships.
We start to take risks and put ourselves out there, seeing
who we want to be friends with and who we don’t. We
form preferences of other children that we like to spend
our time with, asking our parents for playdates. These are
still the early stages, where we form beginning bonds of
friendship.

8. Late Childhood (Ages 8-11)
In late childhood we may or may not have a set
group of friends. We enjoy spending time with
our friends after school or on weekends, meeting
at parks or playing outside at each others houses.
At this time, we also start solidifying our beliefs
and opinions and this may cause rifts or
problems in friendship. However, these little
arguments or disagreements do not last long and
we are often back to playing and laughing before
we know it. At this stage, friendship is a place
where we can release energy and have fun with
our peers. We can be creative and foster
environments to use our imaginations, centering
our inner selves and letting them come out.

9. Early Adolescence
Before we know it we are teenagers and are
becoming more and more independent. Some of
us may be trying to push the envelope with our
parents and make more of our own choices, and
our friends are a source of help for this. We start
making our own decisions and choices, whether
they agree with those around us or not. As we
become more independent, those who we
surround ourselves with become more
important. Although we are still close with our
families and see them greatly we depend on our
friends for a lot of support and advice. We feel
comfortable telling them about our lives and
seeking positive feedback. When our families
may hurt or betray us, it is our friends we turn to
for love.

10. Late Adolescence
Going through high school and entering college,
we become physically separated from our
families. At this point our friends are the ones we
spend most if not all of our time with. Some
people say that “friends become our chosen
family.” Without friends, many of us would feel
very alone.
Many people join clubs or sports teams that not
only foster a sense of belonging but also
friendship. These are the places where we feel
most comfortable and like spending our time at.
We know our interests and likes, and our friends
usually hold the same ones as us. This is what
makes our connections with them so strong.

11. Midlife
After college we often enter the workforce. During this
time we are very focused on ourselves and our careers.
We may go out with our friends on the weekends or have
get-togethers periodically but it is definitely a change
from college. If we are in a relationship with someone,
they may be the friend we put most of our focus and
attention into. Friendship is still important, but we are
more focused on ourselves, our needs, and our wants. If
we are in a relationship we may often be thinking about
the future and families we would want to build. Our
friends will always be there for us, but we contact them
less. Since we have so much in our minds and lives we
put our friendships on the backburner.

12. Mature Adulthood
By the time we reach mature adulthood, we
mostly have families and are settled down in our
lives. Most of our energy goes to helping our
spouses and children get through their daily
routines. Our children are very dependent on us
and this is where most of our time goes.
Friendship, much like in midlife, is mostly on the
backburner. However, we are now more likely to
plan outings with our spouse or a night out with
a group of friends, but this happens sparingly.
We can consider our family our friends, but this
is not the “traditional” type of friendship. Our
children may also consider us their friends.

13. Retirement / Old Age
Once we reach old age, we have lived full lives
and have time to reflect on what we have been
through and learned. Our families have grown
and may have families of their own. If we have a
spouse that is still living, we spend much of our
time with them. We may also have friends who
are deceased, or who are not able to maintain
friendships anymore. For this reason, friendship
is more of a luxury at old age. We may have to
spend our time alone, but when we are able to go
out with our friends or chat on the phone we
really enjoy it and spend time catching up.

14. Death / Afterlife?
Even though some of our friends may pass on,
we do not forget about them. Sometimes we still
have conversations with them, whether it is
going to their grave and saying hello or just
thinking about them as we do something that
reminds us of them. Some of us believe that once
we pass on ourselves, we will be reunited with
them in an afterlife. Others believe that one
someone is gone, they are gone, and you should
be thankful for everything you had with them
while they were here on Earth. I myself believe
that what we do in life echoes in the lives of
others that we have met in life. Whatever we
believe in, once our friends are gone we do not
forget about them, because they gave us the
ultimate gift of friendship.

15. Citations:
● image 1: http://familie-relatii.acasa.ro/relatii-de-familie-52/7-lucruri-uimitoare-pe-care-le-face-bebelusul-in-burtica-mamei-
196145.html
● image 2: http://womensbrainhealth.org/?s=better+thinking&searchsubmit=Search
● image 3: http://legend.az/26913-mum-baby-dad.html
● images 4-7: personal pictures
● image 8: http://wordsbecomesuperfluous.com/2014/06/02/my-life-as-a-movie-monday-freaky-friday/
● image 9: personal picture
● image 10: http://parenting-basics.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-secret-to-longer-life-puppy-happy.html
● image 11: http://www.katiedidwhat.com/visiting-mom-les-mis-and-zack-doesnt/