2. Palm Sunday is celebrated by the giving of high-
fives.
The hanging bumper on the church van was
“repaired” with a bungee cord.
Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
The church’s potluck dinner contains items from
all 4 food groups, plus a few goodies from the
“varmint” group.
3. A member of the church requests to be buried in
his 4-wheeler because "It ain't never been in a hole
it couldn't get out of."
The choir has more tenors in it than it does teeth.
Boone's Farm is the favorite wine for communion.
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only
seven last names.
4. Sermons often include references to a 13th disciple
known as Saint Dale the Intimidator.
All baptisms include a bar of soap.
The choir robes have barbecue stains on them.
Every time the pastor mentions Balaam’s ass half
the congregation snickers.
During communion, a member of the congregation
interrupts the service to ask for seconds.
5. The finance committee refuses to purchase a new
chandelier because none of the members knows how
to play one.
People ask, when they learn Jesus fed 5000 with just
two fishes, what bait was used to catch 'em.
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help
take up the offering", five guys and two women
stand up.
Service is canceled due to the opening of deer
season.
