Skills for Reinventing Your Career

2023
JAYADEVA
DE SILVA
SCIENCE OF
HAPPINESS

1
This book is dedicated
to my beloved wife
Ranjika de Silva

2
Skills You Already Have That Can Reinvent Your Career
If you’re restless in your career, but worried, you don’t have what it takes to land something
different, it’s time for an adjustment in your thinking. You may not realize it, but you
probably already have impressive skills that will translate well in other industries. If you're
considering reinventing your career next year, here’s a look at few tout-able talents that are
impressive across the board.
 Ability to solve a problem. ...
 Desire to learn. ...
 Passion. ...
 Adaptability. ...
 Being receptive to feedback from customers. ...
 Being curious. ...
 Project management skills. ...
 Written communication skills.
Few Strategies for Reinventing Your Career in Uncertain
Times
 Explore a range of options - including the unthinkable. Anything can happen in uncertain
times. ...
 Imagine your best possible future.
 Build capabilities relevant to your future self.
 Start small.
 Be ruthless about what you need to leave behind.
Ten Smart Things
1) Read.
Continue reading any useful document that comes in to your hand.
2) Surround yourself with positive people.

3
They do not need to be smart or smarter. They could be positive, hard-working, disciplined.
As long as you surround yourself with people who have their own view and thinking, you’ve
successfully surrounded yourself with good people.
3) Write.
Try out writing every day. It helps you keep things in perspective. I think, therefore I am.
How about, I write, therefore I am. It’s a fun twist to explore.
4) Don’t quit social media.
I quit social media for a few months and while it had its positives, it also came with a few
drawbacks. In today’s world it’s important to stay connected. It’s enough to make sure one
doesn’t spend too much time on social media. But why quit if you can use it for good?
5) Learn to tell stories.
Talk to as many people as you are willing to do. Be open, stay open, stay learning.
6) Think! Don’t live your life on autopilot.
7) Stay on your own path.
Ask yourself where you’re wanting to be in a few years and try to work towards that instead
of following the crowd.
8) Learn to be happy no matter the outcome.
Make happiness your theme. Let the mind think about the good things in spite of the failures.
9) Learn to face your fear
Do not avoid fears face them. It’s tough and difficult but it is indeed what keeps you moving
forward!
10) Enjoy hobbies
Involve in one or several things you like to do. Have some time to get occupied
with these by yourself or with others,

4
Beyond this year….
Skills you already have that can reinvent your career
If you’re restless in your career, but worried that you don’t have what it takes to land
something different, it’s time for an adjustment - in your thinking. You may not realize it, but
you probably already have impressive skills that will translate well in other industries. If
you're considering reinventing your career next year, here’s a look at few tout-able talents
that are impressive across the board.
· Ability to solve a problem. ...
· Desire to learn. ...
· Passion. ...
· Adaptability. ...
· Being receptive to feedback from customers. ...
· Being curious. ...
· Project management skills. ...
· Written communication skills.
Few Strategies for Reinventing Your Career in Uncertain Times
· Explore a range of options — including the unthinkable.
Anything can happen in uncertain times. ...
· Imagine your best possible future. ...
· Build capabilities relevant to your future self. ...
· Start small. ...
· Be ruthless about what you need to leave behind.

5
Adam, Eve and Racism
(Change your thinking to change your world)
Adam and Eve were the first humans, according to the Jewish, Islamic, and Christian
religions, and all humans have descended from them. As stated in the Bible, Adam and Eve
were created by God to take care of His creation, to populate the earth, and to have a
relationship with Him.
They are central to the belief that humanity is in essence a single family, with everyone
descended from a single pair of original ancestors. That is the most important point for us in
this story
Change your thinking to change your world
Aimless clicking
Wandering around in a digital swamp is a pretty common way to spend an hour these days.
Alas, most of us would never consider doing this in a forest. Walking over to a tree because it
looked sort of interesting, standing there for a minute, then wandering away. Tree after tree,
for hours.
The thing is, the digital wandering is mostly a waste. It doesn’t free our imagination, it stifles
it. It’s as if this digital version of a tree is making us stressed out as a goal…
The next time we consider wasting an afternoon clicking on whatever baits us, perhaps it
might make sense going for a walk instead.

6
Anxiety and performance
Are You Sleep Drunk?
Sleep drunkenness is a casual term for confusional arousal, which is a type of parasomnia. A
parasomnia is an unusual behavior that happens while you're asleep or just waking up.
Confusional arousal is a problem with sleep inertia when your brain transitions between
sleeping and waking up
Confusional arousals can occur at any age, but are more common in children. Sleep
disruptions caused by health problems (such as fever), travel, abrupt sleep loss, migraine, and
irregular sleep-wake schedules may trigger an episode.

7
Imagine being awakened from a deep sleep where, instead of feeling ready to take on the day,
you feel confused, tense, or a sense of an adrenaline rush. If you've experienced such
feelings, you may have had an episode of sleep drunkenness.
Studies say that if you sleep drunk, you might fall asleep too quickly but this will negatively
affect the latter half of your sleep. Drinking in excess also makes you distressed and tired.
This may translate to an increased pulse rate, which may further result in increased anxiety.
The University of Virginia cautions its students to "never leave an intoxicated person alone to
'sleep it off. '" Blood alcohol content can continue to rise after a person stops drinking, and
the person can choke, slip into a coma, stop breathing or die
Who's At Risk?
Besides kids, certain subsets of people are more likely than others to have confusional
arousals and sleep drunkenness. These include folks with:
• Jobs require rotating or night shift work
• Other sleep disorders like sleep apnea or periodic limb movements of sleep
• Sleep deprivation
• Alcohol use near bedtime
• Excessive stress and worry
• Bipolar disorder or chronic depression
When the amount of slow-wave sleep or sleep fragmentation is increased, this can predispose
towards the condition.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
The exact cause of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is not fully
understood, although a combination of factors is thought to be responsible.

8
Genetics
ADHD tends to run in families and, in most cases, it's believed that the genes you inherit
from your parents are a significant factor in developing the condition.
Research shows that parents and siblings of a child with ADHD are more likely to have
ADHD themselves.
However, the way ADHD is inherited is likely to be complex and is not thought to be related
to a single genetic fault.
Brain function and structure
Research has identified a number of possible differences in the brains of people with ADHD
from those without the condition, although the exact significance of these is not clear.
For example, studies involving brain scans have suggested that certain areas of the brain may
be smaller in people with ADHD, whereas other areas may be larger.
Other studies have suggested that people with ADHD may have an imbalance in the level of
neurotransmitters in the brain, or that these chemicals may not work properly.
Groups at risk
Certain groups are also believed to be more at risk of ADHD, including people:
• who were born prematurely (before the 37th week of pregnancy) or with a low birthweight
• with epilepsy
• with brain damage – which happened either in the womb or after a severe head injury later
in life

9
Avoid “Avoidance” to enhance your happiness
Avoidance behavior?
“I mean to do it, but I just keep putting it off!” “I started to study, but before I knew it I was
on Facebook.” “I know I need to dig out my closets, but there never seems to be enough
time.” “I dread paying my bills. It makes me so anxious that I find a million other things to
do instead.”
If any of this sounds like you, you are one of the many individuals with ADHD that struggle
daily with avoidance tendencies. Sure, everyone avoids tasks they don’t like. But it’s a matter
of degree. If your avoidance patterns have big consequences — like failing courses, getting a
bad credit rating, or living in chaos, then it’s time to tackle your avoidance patterns.
If you want a life that works for you, you’ve got to find a way to get around to doing those
difficult or disagreeable tasks.
Avoidance behaviors are any actions, a person takes to escape from difficult thoughts and
feelings. These behaviors can occur in many different ways and may include actions that a
person does or does not do.
True avoidance behaviors involve the complete avoidance of the feared social situation.
...
Avoidance
• Drop a class in which he has to give a speech.
• Change jobs to avoid giving presentations.
• Fail to show up for an event such as a wedding or awards ceremony in which he is
expected to speak in front of others.

10
Covert avoidance is concealed avoidance. You may be physically present in an anxiety
providing situation, but you don't fully engage in it. A lot of us engage in covert avoidance,
but it may be hard to recognize since behaviors are more hidden.
How to Avoid Avoidance
1. Understand Avoidance
2. Recognize When You're Doing It.
3. Take Small Steps.
4. Find New Ways to Relieve Stress.
5. Practice Communication Skills.
6. Have Someone Hold You Accountable.
Avoidance isn’t always maladaptive, but in many cases involving internal events, it is not
sustainable in the long run and can actually make things worse
Be careful who you get advice from
So many people in your life are quick to give advice. Sometimes they are in a position to and
sometimes they are not. When they aren’t in a position to, they aren’t giving advice
maliciously, they just don’t know what the appropriate advice is to give because they’ve
never done it.
My God, IF I would have "LISTENED" to some of the people who "ADVISED" me, I would
be in BIG TROUBLE! I would be MISSING OUT on some AMAZING things that God is
doing in my LIFE/FAMILY.
See beloved, there ARE some "WELL MEANING" people who will attempt to give you
"ADVICE" about certain CHOICES you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT make in your life.

11
Be careful of who you seek advice from, because devil will never show a
person, the path to Heaven.
Be careful who you share your weaknesses with. Some people can't wait for the
opportunity to use them against you.
Be careful who you get advice from. I get advice from people who are where I want to be.

12
Beware of this Danger, which can Ruin Your Happiness
Believe it or not, it is possible to develop your empathetic ability. Pause before jumping to
conclusions. I repeat, P A US E…. Before jumping to conclusions

13
The goal in understanding others is to let them know that they are supported and how they
feel is important to you. The outcome can be life changing: You will find it easier to deal
with the negativity of others by understanding their motivations, and will more calmly be
able to deal with struggles in your relationships.
It takes time and effort but if, instead of assuming and judging, we had the willingness to
pause before jumping to conclusions and consider alternative viewpoints, we might open up
the possibility for more authentic, enriched interactions and relationships. The secret is to
become more empathetic and stay out of judgment, by acknowledging what others are
feeling.
This process requires examining your thoughts and emotions, then correcting certain habits of
mind (like taking sides in a conflict) and replacing them with more productive behaviors such
as considering the perspective of both sides. It also means taking responsibility for your own
thinking, such as stereotypical, snap judgments and prejudices about how people "should"
behave.
Here is a quick exercise to assist you with this process. Take a moment to think about a
situation, either personal or professional, in which you may be judging someone rather than
attempting to understand their point of view.
Answer the following:
1. What action or behavior of the person demonstrating, that you object to? (Talking
behind your back, making critical remarks, ignoring you, producing sloppy work, or arriving
late).
2. What are you thinking or doing in response? This may include name-calling,
complaining, holding resentments or limiting your perspective (It's his fault that... She doesn't
know what she's talking about...) or generalizing, (My company/friend/partner doesn't

14
support me... My co-workers are unfriendly... People here just don't get along...). Or perhaps
you are expressing negative non-verbal communication (eye rolling, shaking your head,
pursing your lips, sighing, or looking away when the other person is speaking).
3. If you put yourself in their shoes, what might be some of the reasons for his or her
behavior?
4. Is it really about this issue? What is the bigger picture?
5. How could you respond to this person in a way that would serve you and the other
person more effectively? Can you imagine a better outcome for the relationship?
The bottom line is this: No two people are going to experience a given reality in the same
way, and sometimes long-term animosities prevail. But when you free yourself from the
propensity to judge others by misinterpreting, assuming, labeling and analyzing (how
exhausting!) you shut down the noise in your head and get closer to what's really going on.
You certainly can't control anyone's behavior but you can exercise influence over your own
mind -- and it is often our own misguided thoughts and reactions that account for most of the
problems we face.
Benefits of Photography and your happiness
• Photography affords immortality. ...
• Photography documents your journey through life. ...
• Photography is a wonderful stress reliever. ...
• Photography inspires your imagination. ...
• Photography brings you closer to your natural spirituality. ...
• Photography lets you see things that you may never notice otherwise.
• Photography preserves memories.

15
Practice Betting on Yourself
A bet on yourself is, by definition, an unbreakable belief in yourself. Sure, you may have
strong doubts from time to time. I certainly do. But a bet on yourself allows you to push
through the negativity towards a vision of the future that only you can achieve.
Fair warning, the following will sound arrogant, but you will soon understand why. It takes a healthy
amount of arrogance, boldness, and unapologetic stubbornness to bet on yourself. I think everyone
should make a list of bold beliefs about themselves, as it can be useful in taking bold action.
I’m betting on myself because I know that:
 No one is coming to save me.
 No one has the vision I have.
 No one has the drive that I have.
 No one has the staying power that I have.
 No one has the unique blend of skills and talents that I have.
Whether those are all true or not, it is necessary for me to believe them. If I stop believing those
things, then I stop believing in myself. And if I stop believing in myself, then I stop showing up every
single day. And if I stop showing up every day, then I have lost all the bets I have made on myself.
Self-belief allows you to take risks and step out of your comfort zone. It keeps you from the daily slog
of a 9-5 office job because you know you are capable of so much more in this one precious life.

16
Biological factors of happiness
They say that happiness is caused by pleasant sensations in the body. These sensations are a
reaction to various biochemical substances (serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin) running around in
your blood and the flurry of electrical signals firing in your complex brain biology.
Biological factors as a part of endogenic factors, in ease, divided into five major areas:
genetic factors, brain and neurotransmitters, endocrine glands and hormones, physical health
and typology and attractiveness. Twin studies suggested that genetic factors count for 35 -50
percent of happiness.
Study results showed that people with higher happiness ratings not only had a lower heart
rate, but also had lower levels in their saliva of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress, and
less concentration in their blood of a plasma that's connected to heart disease. ...
Love hormone?
Oxytocin is a mammalian hormone responsible for the sensation of love. It's involved in
social recognition and bonding, and is believed to play a part in the formation of trust
between people. Oxytocin is what makes mother-baby bonding so powerful – hence it being
known as the 'cuddle chemical' and 'love hormone'.

17
The science of happiness tells us that neurological chemicals like dopamine and serotonin
vary from person to person, causing them to feel more or less happy in life. ... The answer is
that these are factors in our overall well-being, but they're not the only thing you need to be
happy.
Blaming the weather is a trap
“If it were only nicer out, I’d be happier.”
That’s just a step away from, “If the current world crisis would abate, then I’d be able to
concentrate.”
Which is not that far from, “If you would simply behave, I wouldn’t be upset.”
When we focus on external forces and tie them directly to our state of mind, we’re giving up
agency.
The hard-won privilege of being in control of our own status and peace of mind.
Without a doubt, there are situations that are unfair, abusive or dangerous. And we should
work to fix them or walk away if we possibly can. However, we don’t have to link these
external forces to the way we choose to talk to ourselves. We can decide to claim possibility
and take action instead.
Roz Zander teaches us to avoid, “I’m on vacation but it’s raining.” It’s far more powerful and
useful to think, “I’m on vacation and it’s raining… what should I do with this moment?”
The story we tell ourselves belongs to us and only us. It’s entirely possible that someone
selfishly or thoughtlessly put a story there. It’s possible that there isn’t enough empathy or
fairness or opportunity. But once we see that we’re able to own our story, we gain a huge
amount of power. And we retain that power for as long as we refuse to hand it over to
someone else.

18
If the blame and the anger isn’t going to change the situation, better to reclaim our agency
instead.
Body image refers to how an individual sees their own body and
how attractive they feel themselves to be.
Many people have concerns about their body image. These concerns often focus on
weight, skin, hair, or the shape or size of a certain body part.
However, body image does not only stem from what we see in the mirror. According
to the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA), a range of beliefs, experiences, and
generalizations also contribute.
Throughout history, people have given importance to the beauty of the human body.
Society, media, social media, and popular culture often shape these views, and this can affect
how a person sees their own body.
However, popular standards are not always helpful.
Constant bombardment by media images can cause people to feel uncomfortable
about their body, leading to distress and ill health. It can also affect work, social life, and
other aspects of life.
Body image relates to:
• what a person believes about their appearance
• how they feel about their body, height, weight, and shape
• how they sense and control their body as they move

19
A person’s body image will range from positive, or satisfaction with their body, to
negative, or dissatisfaction with their body.
A negative body image can contribute to body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), eating
disorders, and other conditions.
What is a positive body image?
When a person has a positive body image, they understand that their sense of self-
worth does not depend on their appearance.
Having a positive body image includes:
• accepting and appreciating the whole of one’s body, including how it looks
and what it can do
• having a broad concept of beauty
• having a body image that is stable
• having inner positivity
•

20
My GIFT for YOU
Please click the link below
https://youtu.be/Imjl9ftkcqI
Wishing you a Merry Christmas
Christmas is the season of joy, of gift-giving, and of families united.” “Peace on earth
will come to stay when we live Christmas every day. He who has not Christmas in his heart
will never find it under a tree. Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance—
each beautiful, unique, and gone too soon
If my answer is “Nothing” when people ask me what I am thinking about, you're that
“Nothing”
I like your style.
You look great today.

21
I appreciate you.
Above are all compliments. Compliments make the receivers feel GOOD.
Compliments benefit the giver, too. Being in the habit of giving compliments helps us
notice and appreciate what's good and what we like in those around us. “So being
complimentary helps us create an optimistic, happier outlook This is another key for our
happiness
Control stress to enhance your happiness
The three main causes of stress today are:
• Money.
• Work.

22
• Poor health.
By replaying past events, you churn up prior emotions and subject yourself to
unnecessary stress by living through an emotional experience more than once. Research
suggests ruminating over past events can significantly increase the risk for anxiety and
depression — your thoughts are more powerful than you may think!
Exercise is one of the most important things you can do to combat stress. It might
seem contradictory, but putting physical stress on your body through exercise can relieve
mental stress. The benefits are strongest when you exercise regularly.
5 tips to manage stress
1. Use guided meditation. Guided meditation is a great way to distract yourself
from the stress of day-to-day life. ...
2. Practice deep breathing. ...
3. Maintain physical exercise and good nutrition. ...
4. Manage social media time. ...
5. Connect with others.
How can you relax your mind and body?
1. Take slow, deep breaths. Or try other breathing exercises for relaxation. ...
2. Soak in a warm bath.
3. Listen to soothing music.
4. Practice mindful meditation. ...
5. Write. ...
6. Use guided imagery.
Happy New Monday -Count your blessings, not your troubles. .
• The life that counts blessings discovers its yielding more than it seems. ....
• Let us pause as we celebrate, to count our blessings. ...
• Simple blessings are all around us.
• When you practice counting your blessings, you will be amazed how many
there are. As you are riding on the bus, or walking through the zoo, or shopping for groceries,
there are countless blessings that are in full view for you to recognize and acknowledge

23
Cryptocurrency and Blockchain
A cryptocurrency or crypto is a digital currency and you can think of it as a digital
dollar or digital Rupee as instead of paper money, it uses an online ledger for transactions.
They provide a medium of exchange and allow individuals to directly make payments to each
other.
Bitcoin is a type of cryptocurrency, and is a digital form of cash that was invented in
2009 by an entity called Satoshi Nakamoto. How cryptocurrency works is on a technology
called Blockchain which provides a peer-to-peer network and transactions are recorded on the
blocks of the blockchain.
The decentralized nature of the blockchain makes cryptocurrencies immune to the old
ways of government control and interference.
Transactions are secured as the technology uses cryptography and are validated using
a consensus mechanism such as Proof-of-stake. Various computers that are connected to a
blockchain verify transactions on the network using these consensus mechanisms.
Upon successful verification of transactions, these transactions are grouped and
chained together as blocks in the blockchain. This process of creating new blocks is known as
mining and the people doing it are called miners. Miners are rewarded for their effort and
resources spent on mining, in the form of crypto paybacks. Hence, the technology provides
an incentive for people to maintain the blockchain and establish its authenticity.
Ctrl Alt Delete
Control yourself
Alter your thinking
delete negativity
Dangers of a bad boss
Bad bosses prevent good work from getting done and cause confusion for their direct
reports. Employees become exhausted, disillusioned and burnt out. Because of the mess they
create, bad bosses cost businesses billions of dollars in lost productivity every year.

24
Bad bosses ignore employees until there is a problem, and then they pounce. Speak
loudly, rudely, one-sidedly to staff. Bad bosses don't provide the opportunity for staff to
respond to accusations and comments. They intimidate people and allow other employees to
bully employees.
8 signs of a bad boss
• Poor communication skills. ...
• Lack of transparency. ...
• An inconsistent approach. ...
• Taking the credit, passing the blame. ...
• Trying to micro-manage employees. ...
• A tendency to make unreasonable demands. ...
• Trying to be the 'life' of the office. ...
• Choosing favourites.
And it's not just a lack of energy or a low-level headache—the things we commonly
associate with stress. One study finds that workers who have poor relationships with their
bosses are 30 percent more likely to suffer coronary heart disease. So a bad boss really can
give you sick, even give you a heart attack.
Deep Breathing
Deep breathing is to breathe deeply ,: to take a lot of air into the lungs Take
a deep breath and relax.
Proper breathing starts in the nose and then moves to the stomach as your
diaphragm contracts, the belly expands and your lungs fill with air. "It is the most
efficient way to breathe, as it pulls down on the lungs, creating negative pressure in
the chest, resulting in air flowing into your lungs.
Deep breathing can help lessen stress and anxiety. By breathing slower and
more deeply from your stomach, you signal your nervous system to calm down.
Deep breathing takes practice — it won't be immediately helpful

25
Several studies have shown how deep or diaphragmatic breathing can slow
your heart rate and reduce blood pressure. This kind of breathing stimulates the
vagus nerve, which reduces the “fight or flight” response that causes feelings of
anxiety or tension
Taking a deep breath is not only good for your respiratory system, it helps
with relaxation. Your respiratory system works hard, logging 20,000 breaths daily
Take a deep breath in slowly—it should take about five seconds for you to
inhale (imagine your lungs filling up with air). As your diaphragm pulls your chest
cavity down, your belly button should move away from your spine, filling your lungs.
How you do it
1. Get comfortable. You can lie on your back in bed or on the floor with a
pillow under your head and knees. ...
2. Breathe in through your nose. Let your belly fill with air.
3. Breathe out through your nose.
4. Place one hand on your belly. ...
5. As you breathe in, feel your belly rise. ...
6. Take three more full, deep breaths.
Advantages of deep breathing exercises
• Natural painkiller. ...
• Improves blood flow. ...
• Improves immunity. ...
• Calms down anxiety. ...
• Helps you sleep better. ...
• Increases energy level. ...
• Improves posture. ...

26
• Reduces inflammation.
Breathing too deeply, too often, or too quickly, can cause hyperventilation,
which has serious negative effects. An occasional deep breath or practicing a specific,
slow deep breathing technique to relieve stress and tension is not likely to cause
damage.
Design Thinking
Design thinking is a process usually used by designers of products ,services
etc
It is a process for solving problems by prioritizing the consumer's needs above
all else. It relies on observing, with empathy, how people interact with their
environments, and employs an iterative, hands-on approach to creating innovative
solutions.
To solve a problem in Ghana and serve the needs of the low-income
Ghanaians, Unilever and Water and Sanitation for the Urban Poor (WSUP) designed a
comprehensive sanitation plan in collaboration with a Design Thinking consultancy.
Together they came up with the concept of Clean Team, a sanitation system
Clean Team is a Ghanaian social enterprise that that provides household
toilets at a low monthly fee. The Clean Team service is a comprehensive sanitation
system, with a custom-designed stand-alone rental toilet (which is urine-diverting, or
UDDT), as well as a waste-removal system that collects 2-3 times per week
The Five Stages of Design Thinking
• Stage 1: Empathize—Research Your Users' Needs.
• Stage 2: Define—State Your Users' Needs and Problems.
• Stage 3: Ideate—Challenge Assumptions and Create Ideas.
• Stage 4: Prototype—Start to Create Solutions.
• Stage 5: Test—Try Your Solutions Out.
... This is the “iterative” part of design thinking.

27
Please refer our illustration of Clean team solution of the urban toilet prolems
of Ghana
Diffuse those time bomb/s
A person, thing, or situation that can at any moment cause much havoc or
result in a disastrous outcome. You know what I mean RIGHT?
Raise your hand if you know someone who has committed suicide?” Many hands go
up in class…
“And how many of you, knew they were going to take their own life?”
Silence… no hands go up… a sombre gasp of sadness across the classroom.
The Ticking Time-Bomb employee appears to be all buttoned-up on the
outside, but on the inside is suffering from mental pain and suffering. They may be
at their wits end, and is ready to burst, but no one knows how bad they actually are,
until it’s too late. The fact is, one Ticking Time-Bomb toxic employee, can blow up
not only themselves, but an entire agency.
When you hear an employee or colleague say, “I’m Fine,” or “I’m good,”
and your gut is telling you something is not right… they are likely NOT FINE at
all!
The Ticking Time-Bomb person is imploding internally and externally, and can
take their stress out in four areas:
1. On their family, loved ones, and friends
2. Hurting themselves, sometimes to end it all through Suicide
3. On co-workers, becoming toxic inside the department
4. On the street with excessive force, escalating a call, or constant cursing
Although you are not aware of it, this ticking time-bomb doesn’t happen
overnight, it takes years to build before it will eventually explode!
How to Diffuse Your own Ticking Emotional Time Bombs

28
1. Stress less, stay calm and in control no matter what's going on at work.
2. Identify and name the emotion/s you are experiencing.
3. Simply notice and acknowledge what you're experiencing.
4. Insert time and space between the trigger and your response.
5. Change your story.
Do one thing every day that scares you
Think through the worst-case scenario
“Fear is your friend. “Fear is an indicator. Sometimes it shows you what you
shouldn’t do.
More often than not it shows you exactly what you should do. And the best
results that I’ve had in life, the most enjoyable times, have all been from asking a
simple question: What’s the worst that can happen?”
You think through the outcome that makes you most afraid, so that you can
then consider how you would deal with it were it to happen. Fear doesn’t ever really
go away, nor should it. But confronting it is the way to move forward.
That may help explain the success of entrepreneurs who practice what is
known as “productive paranoia” — by planning for the worst that could happen,
they’re prepared to weather the storm when it does.
How to face (and overcome) your fears
The most effective, scientific approach to eliminating fear is to systematically
expose yourself to the thing that scares you, starting small and building tolerance as
you work your way up. Exposure is hands down the most successful way to deal with
phobias, anxiety disorders, and everyday fears of any sort
“An individual develops courage by doing courageous acts” —
Aristotle
Do you feel rich?
It’s not the same as being rich.

29
Rich is always relative. Compared to your great-grandparents, we’re impossibly,
supernaturally rich. We have access to information and technology that was unimagined a
century ago. At the same time, compared to someone ten miles away or ten years in the
future, we’re way behind.
Two people with precisely the same resources and options might answer the question
of ‘rich’ completely differently. Because money is a story.
The neighborhood or industry or peer group you choose has a lot to do with whether
you’re relatively rich or not.
After a stock market adjustment, billionaires give less to charity. They still have more
money than they can count, but they’re not as rich as they used to be, and not-as-rich is easy
to interpret as not rich.
Which means that for many people, feeling rich is a choice.
If that choice encourages us to be imperious, selfish and a bully, it’s probably best to
avoid it.
On the other hand, if choosing to see our choices, chances and privileges as a path
toward generosity, long-term thinking and connection, we can do it right now.
Do you have a choice?
All the decisions and choices in our life that are related to us in any way, must always
be taken by us, no matter how difficult it be and whatever pressure you are dealing with.
There will be People and Things and Circumstances and Distractions and Habits and
Attractions that will make you feel that you don’t have any choice.
Or
Everything is equally important and what to decide and what not.
Does perfect job exist?
There is no such thing as a perfect job.
Every job has its unique downsides.
Every job requires hard work.

30
Changing jobs probably won’t impact your happiness as much as you think. A job is a
job.
You should at least get paid well for your hard work.
Drown proof your FEARS to stay happy
The drown-proof technique
This helps newborns acclimate to the aquatic environment, and may ultimately save
them from drowning accidents. Before the baby can even learn how to swim, certified
professionals instruct the baby on how to flip over and float by his or herself.
SEa, Air, And Land (SEAL)
US Navy SEAL, an acronym that stands for SEa, Air, and Land – the three theatres of
the commandos' operations.
So, what is the way that the Navy SEALs first teach their candidates to be
comfortable in the water? They call it the Drownproofing Test, but it is popularly known as
the “SEAL Water Challenge Test”.
It is an extremely difficult test as it will force a candidate to either relax in the water
or fail. It is also a tremendous endurance test as, by the time, the candidates get to the final
task of retrieving a mask, their bodies are exhausted and they are having trouble getting
enough air to complete the challenge.
Fear proofing of entrepreneurs and managers
Are you an entrepreneur? Do you want to be one? Or just start a small business on the
side?
Being an entrepreneur forces you to confront some of the biggest fears you have. If
you never overcome these fears, they will hold you back at every step of your entrepreneurial
journey.
Fear number one is fear of failure. Fear of losing everything and not having a job or
anything to fall back on. Fear number two is fear of meeting new people. In this course you'll
face both fears head on through an experiential project.
One such Fear Proofing programme for Entrepreneurs. Require the participants to
overcome the most common entrepreneurial fears by traveling around the country for 30 days
in a home-made camper van.

31
Ear low GI foods to enhance your sustainable happiness
GI means Glycaemic Index
The glycaemic index (GI) is a measurement that ranks foods from 1–100 according to
how much they affect a person’s blood sugar.
The guide uses pure glucose with a GI of 100 as a reference.
The Glycaemic Index Foundation classify the GI of food as follows:
• 70 or greater: High GI
• 56-69: Medium GI
• 55 or less: Low GI
The following factors affect the GI of foods:
• macronutrient content, including protein and fat
• fibre content
• types of sugar and starches
• ripeness and maturity of the food
• processing, preparation, and cooking methods
• the physical form of the food
• anti-nutrients in the food, which are substances that can block the absorption
of nutrients into the body
Foods to eat on a low glycaemic diet include:
• high protein foods, such as lean meat and fish.
• dairy products, such as milk and natural yogurt.
• unsweetened soy milk.
• vegetables, such as broccoli, green peas, and leafy greens.
• low-s Eating before the bad can affect your happiness
Eating before bed can cause the body's metabolism to slow. The body slows down its
functions at night to prepare for sleep, but consuming foods, especially those high in carbs.

32
There are several side effects associated with eating right before bed. Eating after
dinner or late at night can result in weight gain and in an increased body mass index (BMI).
You may also experience indigestion or broken sleep if you eat or drink too close to bed-
time. It can make it harder to digest and result in weight gain.
As a general rule of thumb, nutritionists will tell you to wait about three hours
between your last meal and bedtime. 1 This allows digestion to occur and the contents of
your stomach to move into your small intestine. This may prevent problems like heartburn at
night and even insomnia.
sugar fruits, such as apples, oranges, and blueberries.
Eating Mindfully
In essence, mindful eating means being fully attentive to your food — as you buy,
prepare, serve, and consume it. However, adopting the practice may take more than a few
adjustments in the way you approach meals and snacks.
How to practice mindful eating
1. Eat more slowly and don't rush your meals.
2. Chew thoroughly.
3. Eliminate distractions by turning off the TV and putting down your phone.
4. Eat in silence.
5. Focus on how the food makes you feel.
6. Stop eating when you're full.
Why Education is Important????
Education and lack of education, Good Education and Bad education. You see the
difference everyday!
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world” –
(Nelson Mandela.)
Education is the first step for people to gain the knowledge, critical thinking,
empowerment and skills they need to make this world a better place.

33
It helps people become better citizens, to get better-paid jobs, shows the difference
between good and bad. Education shows us the importance of hard work and, at the same
time, helps us grow and develop.
Thus, we are able to shape a better society to live in by knowing and respecting rights,
laws, and regulations
Why invest in education? To invest in education means investing in yourself, in your
full potential. Whether it's paying for essay writing help to improve your grades or paying for
an online course, every cent you spent this way will be well worth it.
Countries become when their education is poor. Constitutions are of no use if people
lack education, .specially the ones who are elected to rule
Essentials to be happy
• Live with gratitude. ...
• Fill your life with love. ...
• Find your purpose. ...
• Stop comparing yourself to others. ...
• Practice forgiveness every day. ...
• Surround yourself with happy people. ..
• Never lose your inner child. ...
• Don't chase material things.
• Live in the moment
Examine your relationships
There are four basic types of relationships: family relationships, friendships,
acquaintanceships, and romantic relationships. Other more nuanced types of relationships
might include work relationships, teacher/student relationships, and community or group
relationships
When you evaluate your marriage, you're hitting the pause button and looking at the
condition of your relationship in a careful and thoughtful way. By doing so, you'll both see
what you're doing well along with areas in which you need to grow individually and as a
couple.
Questions to Assess the State of Your Relationship

34
1. Do you argue? ...
2. How do you make decisions? ...
3. Do you know what your partner is most sensitive to? ...
4. Do you talk about the future? ...
5. Are you compatible as a couple regarding individual needs. ...
6. Are you compatible about needs for affection and sex? ...
7. Are you compatible about work?
A need for intimacy, for sexual gratification and satisfaction, a need to be honored
and understood and even accepted by our partner, these are all important aspects of who we
are. ...
Flexibly Happy
How do you define happiness?

35
Is it career success? Your next vacation? Extra time with family? A good night’s
sleep? A home-cooked meal? A long run or yoga session? A kiss goodnight from a loved
one? The list could go on.
When you tie happiness to some future goal or success, you deny yourself the feelings
of contentment and joy that can be found in the current moment. “Happiness isn’t something
you have to wait for.
The COVID-19 pandemic was the perfect example of this. Every person on the planet
faced fear and uncertainty in 2020. There was a choice: Accept the current situation and
adapt, or hold tight to the status quo and fight against an uncontrollable environment?
Instead of getting depressed and blaming others when reality doesn’t meet
expectations, flexible thinking allows you to redefine happiness. It makes it easier to bend or
sidestep instead of being rigid in your thinking. “Stress is the enemy of flexible thinking We
get trapped into thinking, like Einstein warned, that if we do the same thing over and over,
we’ll get a different result.
Emotions are temporary. Before you send that aggressive email or say something you
might regret – even to yourself – pause and flex. Take control of the narrative of your life
instead of thinking, “Why do bad things always happen to me? Flexibility brings happiness
Forming Habits
The best way to start a new habit is by Implementation Intention.
It is a plan you make beforehand about when and where to act. That is, how you
intend to implement a particular habit.
The format for creating an implementation intension is :
“When situation X arises, I will perform response Y.”

36
Happiness and Astrology
Scientific testing has found no evidence to support the premises or purported effects
outlined in astrological traditions. ... Astrology has not demonstrated its effectiveness in
controlled studies and has no scientific validity, and is thus regarded as pseudoscience.
So don’t prepare yourself to be unhappy if astrologers or other fortune tellers predict
that for you
Happiness hormones
Four main brain chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins, all play a
role in how you experience happiness.
• Dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter produced by the hypothalamus, a
small region of the brain that helps you feel pleasure. ...
• Serotonin. ...
• Oxytocin. ...
• Endorphins.
Gossip triggers chemicals in the brain which makes people become happier and live
longer.

37
Happiness –List of rules
There is no list of rules. There is only one rule. The rule is: there are no rules.
Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells
you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are
supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It’s funny that we still think of it
that way. Normalize your lives, people. You don’t want a baby? Don’t have one. I don’t want
to get married? I won’t. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love
someone. Don’t apologize. Don’t explain. Don’t ever feel less than. When you feel the need
to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong
story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a
happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it.
Happiness quotes
Sometimes gaining a little perspective on your life is just one inspirational quote
away.
Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today....
Doing what you like is freedom. ...

38
Be happy with what you have. ...
Life is a journey, and if you fall in love with the journey, you will be in love forever.
Happiness, Smile and Teeth
Having a full and healthy set of teeth and gums is great for your nutrition, your jaw
health, and your overall physical health. In fact, it can even help prevent illnesses like heart
disease, diabetes, and respiratory disease.
But did you know that having a clean and healthy set of teeth can improve your self
worth, your happiness, and even your bank account?
Happy reading (Reading leads to Happiness)
Reading has been shown to put our brains into a pleasurable trance-like state, similar
to meditation, and it brings the same health benefits of deep relaxation and inner calm,"
according to the New Yorker. Nothing promotes happiness like inner calm.
It sounds romantic, but there's real, hard evidence that supports these things
happening to your brain when you read books. In reading, we can actually physically change
our brain structure, become more empathetic, and even trick our brains into thinking we've
experienced what we've only read in novels.

39
Benefits
• Develops stronger vocabulary. ...
• Builds connections between the spoken and written word. ...
• Provides enjoyment. ...
• Increases attention span. ...
• Strengthens cognition. ...
• Provides a safe way of exploring strong emotions. ...
• Promotes bonding.
Have a will ready
A will is a legal document that dictates the distribution of assets when you die. If you
die without a will, state law governs. You definitely need a will if you are married, have kids,
or have a lot of assets. ... A will can help your family avoid conflict when you die, and it is
not something you should draft yourself
Having a will allows you to appoint the person you want to raise your children or,
better, make sure it is not someone you do not want to raise your children. .To avoid a
lengthy probate process. ... Having a will, however, speeds up the probate process and
informs the court how you'd like your estate divided.
Hedonic treadmill (You are in the same place)
The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of
humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness ...
The hedonic treadmill is a metaphor for the human tendency to pursue one pleasure
after another. That's because the surge of happiness that's felt after a positive event is likely to
return to a steady personal baseline over time. ...
A common example of the hedonic treadmill occurs after an individual wins the
lottery. At first, the person is ecstatic to have become a millionaire overnight. After several
weeks or months, the newly-minted millionaire becomes accustomed to her new lifestyle and
experiences a corresponding decrease in happiness.

40
Pleasure that comes from selfless acts, for example, tends to outlast physical pleasures
By having a Will, you can control what happens with your property; you can leave
specific property to specific persons and you can appoint specific persons to manage and
handle distributing your property. Having a Will can save your heirs significant expense and
hassle and may prevent feuding among them
Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to have an attorney draft a will for you.
Anyone can write this document on their own, and as long as it meets all of the legal
requirements of the state, courts will recognize one you wrote yourself.
Having a will should give you peace of mind and happiness
Hoarding can be dangerous
Hoarding can be very dangerous to your health, mental state, and your home.
Hoarding dangers can include: mold growth, bug infestations, structural damage, and tripping
hazards. Hoarding has been known to also overwhelm the mind, cause stress, anxiety, and
drain energy levels.
What is the main cause of hoarding?
What causes hoarding? Hoarding is a severe psychological disorder where a person
gathers an excessive number of items and stores them. The reasons someone become a

41
hoarder include altered brain connections, genetics, stress, OCD, environmental factors and
altered levels of serotonin.
As per research, up to 85 percent of people with compulsive hoarding usually name at
least one other family member who has this problem. Hoarders may also have grown up in
cluttered homes themselves and derive comfort from the clutter.
• Medication alone cannot hope to treat the underlying behavior. For this,
cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) may be more effective.
• CBT is more than just talk therapy. It goes beyond talking with the therapist.
The therapist often visits the hoarder’s home and helps them to think more clearly about their
possessions and learn to make decisions about them.
• CBT helps patients to
o Gradually confront things they fear to feel less afraid.
o Learn healthier ways to cope with stressful situations.
o Become aware of and subsequently change how they think in critical
situations.
How do you take responsibility in your life?
Ways to Take Responsibility for Your Life
1. Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. ...
2. Stop blaming. ...
3. Stop complaining. ...
4. Refuse to take anything personal. ...
5. Make yourself happy. ...
6. Live in the present moment. ...

42
7. Feel calm and confident.
8. Use the power of intention. ...
Intention is defined as “a thing intended; an aim or plan.” The power of intention is
the power of a focused mind. When focusing our mental energy on something, we're able to
give more of our brain power to it. Seven Faces of Intention: Creativity, Kindness, Love,
Beauty, Expansion, Unlimited Abundance, and Receptivity - are the keys to unlocking the
power of intention in your life.
In order to step into the most powerful version of yourself, you need to have clarity of
intention, You need to know not just what you want, but why you want it.
Win an argument by asking questions?
The Socratic method (also known as method of Elenchus, elenctic method, or Socratic
debate) is a form of cooperative argumentative dialogue between individuals, based on asking
and answering questions to stimulate critical thinking and to draw out ideas and underlying
presuppositions.
Noise and Happiness
How does noise pollution affect you emotionally?
Why is excessive noise hazardous to your emotional health? Noise is associated with
increased aggression, decreased helpful behavior, reduced motivation and task performance,
and even impaired cognitive development in children.
What are the negative effects of noise pollution?
Noise pollution adversely affects the lives of millions of people. Studies have shown
that there are direct links between noise and health. Problems related to noise include stress
related illnesses, high blood pressure, speech interference, hearing loss, sleep disruption, and
lost productivity.
How to feel safe
Many of us have that anxious feeling running through our bodies on a regular basis.
That feeling comes in a variety of states; from intense five alarm bells loudly ringing to fear
running in the background of our thoughts. When this happens, folks can withdraw socially,
rely on substances or get caught up in drama to escape this feeling of impending doom.
We walk through life fearful of looking at what causes this overwhelming worry

43
Here are Few Steps to Feeling Safe:
• The very first step is to recognize that safety does indeed exist and that you are
deserving of it.
• Think about the moments when you have felt safe and write about them. When
you are feeling frightened, turn to your journal and focus on it. For example, if you remember
feeling relaxed and warm laying on the beach, bring up a memory of that and allow it to flow
into your fears.
• Be aware that we all have different parts of us inside. Some parts may be
identified as children, punitive adults, loving women, caring men and those that carry
wisdom. These parts become fragmented and don’t connect when you are not feeling safe.
When you are feeling scared, look inside and find which part is being triggered. Once you
find your place of wisdom and caring parts; have them communicate reassuring, loving
messages.
• It is important to get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly and hang out
with those who really have your best interest at heart.
• Terminate relationships with those who belittle you and are not trustworthy.
• Discover what unconditional love really means and apply it to yourself-
accepting that you are not perfect and that is OK.
Chronic noise keeps the body's stress response system constantly activated,
contributing to mood disturbances and poor cardiovascular health. As the city-dwelling
population is expected to grow in the next few decades, more and more people may
experience the harmful consequences of noise pollution
How to release tension to preserve your happiness
What is Tension? Psychological tension is similar to a state of stress, though people
experiencing tension tend to describe feelings of tightness, overwhelming anxiety, and
uncertainty.
Tension can be an individual phenomenon, such as when a person is so overwhelmed
at work that he/she feels tension.
Following can definitely help you
1. Go for a Walk. Get outside. ...
2. Full Body Tension and Release. This is an interesting, effective, quick
exercise. ...

44
3. Say It Out Loud. Sometimes the best tension release we can give ourselves is
to acknowledge how we're feeling. ...
4. Laugh. ...
5. Write it Out. ...
6. Carry a Fidget Toy. ...
7. Drink Less Caffeine. ...
8. Listen to Music.
9. Deep breathe-
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change
the world” – (Nelson Mandela.)
Education is the first step for people to gain the knowledge, critical thinking,
empowerment and skills they need to make this world a better place
I want to remember your face
"I want to remember your face so that when I meet you in heaven, I will be able to
recognize you and thank you once again"*
In an interview, the Radio Jockey asked his guest, a millionaire, *"What made you
most happy in life?"*
The millionaire said: I have gone through four stages of happiness in life and finally I
understood the true happiness.
The first stage was to accumulate wealth and means. But at this stage I did not get the
happiness
Then the second stage of collecting valuable items. But I realized that the effect of
this is also temporary and the lustre of valuable things don't last long.
Then came the third stage of getting big projects. Like buying a football team, buying
a tourist resort, etc. But even here I did not get the happiness, which I had imagined.
The fourth time a friend of mine asked me to buy wheelchairs for disabled. I
immediately bought them... But my friend insisted that I accompany him and hand over the
wheelchairs to the disabled children. I got ready...

45
I gave these chairs to the needy children with my own hands. I saw the strange glow
of happiness on the faces. I saw them all sitting on chairs, moving around and having fun... It
was as if they had arrived at a picnic spot.
One of the kids grabbed my legs while I was leaving the place. I gently tried to free
my legs but the child stared at my face...
I bent down and asked the child: Do you need anything else?
The answer of the child not only made me happy but also changed my life completely.
The child said *"I want to remember your face so that when I meet you in heaven, I will be
able to recognize you and thank you once again"*
THE SMALLEST OF ALL CHARITIES "A SMILE", IS GREATER THAN MOST
REWARDS FROM THE MOST MERCIFUL IN THE HEARAFTER.
Improve things by 1% and gain happiness
Here's how the math works out: if you can get 1 percent better each day for one year,
you'll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you're done. Your happiness grows
tremendously
Conversely, if you get 1 percent worse each day for one year, you'll decline nearly
down to zero.
Instead of trying to make radical changes in a short amount of time, just make small
improvements every day that will gradually lead to the change you want. Each day, just focus
on getting 1% better in whatever it is you're trying to improve. That's it.
What does it mean to be 1% better?
It just means get a little better each day. It's hard to quantify. But the important thing
to know is this: 1% better each day, compounded, is 3800% better each year. 1% worse each
day, compounded, means you lose 97% of your value each year.
Inflated Responsibility
An excessive or inflated sense of responsibility occurs when you interpret your
thoughts in terms of whether they can cause distress or harm to yourself or others. That is,
having the thought in and of itself gives you a sense of guilt or responsibility.
An excessive sense of responsibility has been identified in obsessive-compulsive
disorder (OCD) where patients evaluate their thoughts in terms of the harm they could cause
to themselves or others.

46
Examples include:
• I have the thought that I could have cancer or an STI. Does that mean I do?!?
And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
• I had the thought that I don’t love my partner. Does that mean I don’t?!? And,
I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
• I had the thought that I might have hurt, murdered, assaulted, offended
someone in the past. Does that mean I did?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does
that mean?!?
• I had the thought that I could have done more to help someone. Does that
mean I should have?!? Am I bad because I didn’t act on that thought?!? And, I feel anxious
and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
• I had the thought that I could work harder at something that I value. Does that
mean I must?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
• I had the thought that my anxiety might kill me, make me go crazy, or
embarrass me. Does that mean it will?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that
mean?!?
• I had the thought that someone judged me. Does that mean they did?!? How
do I know they didn’t?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
• I had the thought that I’m not good enough. I also feel worthless and hopeless.
It must be true.
Notice that the content of each of these examples are different, but the process is the
same.
To overcome outlook about responsibility of thoughts focus on choice and values.
• Am I choosing to think about this? If given the choice to think or act on this
idea, is what I’m doing the best strategy to get a real answer?
• Do I value the time I spend on this?
• Would I choose to think about this and stay with this regardless of how I feel?
Strange but TRUE .Read on…
Influence of your friend’s friend whom you have not even met

47
In an unbelievable study on the effects of our social environments, researchers found
that even the friend of your friend’s friend can influence your life without you even knowing
it.
In their 2009 book Connected, Harvard and Yale alumni James Fowler and Nicolas
Christakis explain their theory on how social networks influence human health and behavior.
Here is an excerpt from the New York Times book review:
“So if your friend’s friend’s friend — whom you’ve never met, and lives a thousand
miles away — gains weight, you’re likely to gain weight, too. And if your friend’s friend’s
friend loses weight, you’re likely to lose weight, too.”
If this sounds really confusing, here is how it works— If Joe knows Susie and Susie
knows Matt, Matt’s habits are likely to affect Joe (even if they don’t know each other)
because they share a mutual friend.
In our culture of hard-core individualism, we like to think we can make changes on
our own while ignoring our physical and social environments. But countless studies debunk
this thinking. We are being influenced even when we don’t realize it.
As Winston Churchill brilliantly said—We shape our buildings (i.e. environment),
and thereafter they shape us.
This finding has an important effect on our lives
Kindness is a key to happiness .
Kindness begins with the understanding that we all struggle to live
Lies about Dieting
• Lie #1: “A diet is temporary.” ...
• Lie #2: “If I work out, I can eat whatever I want.” ...

48
• Lie #3: “Fewer calories equals faster weight loss.” ...
• Lie #4: “Thinner is better.” ...
• Lie #5: “I should avoid carbohydrates.” ...
• Lie #6: “Any weight loss is good weight loss.” ...
• Lie #7: “Avoid all fat.”
Truths about Dieting
Weight loss is simple…people make it confusing for profit.
Everything you’ve ever read or heard about losing weight boils down to one
thing…reducing calories.
Looking at any diet that was popular ever is all based on this principle. Sure they
might help lower insulin or remove carbs and throw blame on them for you not losing weight
but in the end they all reduce calories is some way.
For instance, take Paleo. By removing all processed foods and focusing on whole
foods reduces calories.
Intermittent Fasting reduces the time you have to eat so you eat less.
Keto removes all carbs and mostly all protein which reduces calories.
I could go on and on but I’m sure you get the idea. Look at any diet that is worth
anything and I’ll bet my last 50 cents they reduce calories by restricting something.
So if you can find a way to reduce calories with the current food you enjoy eating you
can lose weight. Like I said, simple.

50
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as you are to live for ever...
Look after your reputation
Question -What form of currency never fluctuates with the market?
Answer? Your reputation.
Your actions + what others say about you = your reputation.
This small formula is the most powerful leverage you have in business -- and in life,
for that matter.
While people say you shouldn't be concerned about what others think, I’m wary of
that advice. Whether it’s a vendor cutting you a great deal, a hiring manager considering
offering you a position, or someone with purchasing power, others often decide your fate. All
it takes is a small sway from a trusted contact to either get you in or push you out.

51
Here’s Why Winning the Lottery Doesn’t Make You Happier
This clever short film examines whether winning the lottery actually makes people
happier. The short answer: no. In studies, the average happiness levels of people who’d won
the lottery increased no more than a control group. Some were even less happy than before
they won. You'll also find out why winning can make you feel lonely, and possibly even
meaner. Despite the allure of material things, money is not the key to happiness! –Jayadeva
de Silva
Link to the video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhwRanEUJrY
Today, we have to think more about reputation management even more than we did in
the past. Not only do we have to worry about how we present ourselves in the flesh, but we
also have to be aware of how we come across online. I’m not here to teach you the basics,
like avoiding immature or offensive content on social media pages. Hopefully, you know
that. I’m here to remind you to create a great impression in real life and then leverage that
work to create a strong reputation currency online.
Here are 10 basic guidelines to consider:
Do what you say you’ll do.
Go out of your way to help others reach their goals
Make other people look good.
Go a step beyond what is expected.
Look the part.(Firt impressions matter)
Consider your body language.
Be consistent
Act with integrity.
Get engaged with your community
Be likeable.
Being likeable directly relates to being you. Smile more, approach someone you
don’t know, offer a handshake, or wish someone congratulations. These small things can all
make you more likeable.

52
What is unlikeable is being fake. Be careful not to falsify who you are just to be
likeable.
Question -What form of currency never fluctuates with the market?
Answer? Your reputation.
Marriage of that Young Couple
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love
the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit,
that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into
the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship
and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My
husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing
romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the
world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a
lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man
who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he
asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have
started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the
question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want
a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower
will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer
tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

53
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his
scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that
goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the
reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry
in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open
the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save
my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend”
approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your
tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I
have to save my mouth to tell youjokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at
the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that
when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white
hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine
and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on
your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more
than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue
on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please
open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I
rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the
milk bottle and loaf of bread….
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have
decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades
away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a
model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only

54
used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love
stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win argument..
Sent by ….Lida
Calming the storm
Mindfulness leads to Happiness
Mindfulness has been shown to help us be healthier, less affected by stress, more
relaxed, more creative, more open to learning, sleep better, improve our relationships with
others and feel happier and more satisfied with our lives. What's great is it's a skill that
anyone can learn and benefit from.
In mindfulness meditation, once you establish concentration, you observe the flow of
inner thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judging them as good or bad. Pay
attention. You also notice external sensations such as sounds, sights, and touch that make up
your moment-to-moment experience.
Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction,
contentment, and fulfillment. ...
The balance of emotions: Everyone experiences both positive and negative emotions,
feelings, and moods. Happiness is generally linked to experiencing more positive feelings
than negative.
Coloring Activity to train mindfulness .Try it now

55
Monitor your Narcissism
Narcissism is extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the
needs of those around them.
While everyone may show occasional narcissistic behaviour, true narcissists
frequently disregard others or their feelings. They also do not understand the effect that their
behaviour has on other people.
It’s important to note that narcissism is a trait, but it can also be a part of a larger
personality disorder. Not every narcissist has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), as
narcissism is a spectrum. People who are at the highest end of the spectrum are those that are
classified as NPD, but others, still with narcissistic traits, may fall on the lower end of the
narcissistic spectrum.
People who show signs of narcissism can often be very charming and charismatic.
They often don’t show negative behaviour right away, especially in relationships. People who
show narcissism often like to surround themselves with people who feed into their ego. They
build relationships to reinforce their ideas about themselves, even if these relationships are
superficial.

56
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centres around talk therapy
(psychotherapy).
Question: What's most valuable thing is this life?
Answer : ?
A saint was standing at the bank of river. He was watching the waves carefully.
A poor man came to him and said,
Poor man : Saint! I am begging of you. I am very poor and I have nothing to feed my
children. If a Saint like you help, it can improve my life.
Saint : How I can help you?
Poor man : Please arrange some money for me.
Saint : I don't have wealth but go on the other side of river. There's a pile of sand. If
you are lucky, you may find something for you.
Poor man felt happy after getting this information. He ran towards other end of river
and searched.
Luckily, in short while he found diamond and some gold there in sand. He has no
limit of joy, he started dancing with happiness.
But suddenly, he got something in mind which made him think.
(Inner he : What is something that saint have which made him think that all this gold
is useless and he told me about this. He didn't take this all.)
He went to saint and asked,
He : Please tell me, what is the thing you have Which made you leave all these gold
like stone? Why you didn't care about this!
Saint : Self-satisfaction.
Que : What's most valuable thing is this life?
Ans : SELF-SATISFACTION !
Music and Happiness

57
Research has found that when a subject listens to music that gives them the chills, it
triggers a release of dopamine to the brain. And if you don't know, dopamine is a kind of
naturally occurring happy chemical we receive as part of a reward system.
Needs and wants
Needs are something that you must have, in order to live. On the contrary, wants are
something that you wish to have, so as to add comforts in your life. Needs represents the
necessities while wants indicate desires. Needs are important for the human being to survive.
In order to be happy, get rid of Negativity
Do you remember the last time you pat yourself on the back for something you
accomplished? Or, is it easier to remember the last time you criticized yourself for something
instead?
If being positive is difficult for you, there's a good chance you're allowing too much
negativity into your life. This negativity can arrive in the form of negative people, habits, or
attitudes.

58
Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power. There is a magnificent,
beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labour of
devotion and love! The colours are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and
embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it!
Why do you do such a thing?
Negativity is the enemy of creativity
If you attach to the negative behaviour of others it brings you down to their level.
There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little
difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative
No matter how good you are, someone is always going to be against you. But never
let them be the limit of your success
Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone
who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak
evil about you. Make no mistake about it. Bad habits are called 'bad' for a reason. They kill
our productivity and creativity. They slow us down. They hold us back from achieving our
goals. And they're detrimental to our health
When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in
your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or
possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is .Be cautious with what you feed your
mind and soul. Fuel yourself with positivity and let that fuel propel you into positive action.
-Jayadeva de Silva (SriLanka)

59
Why we need pain also?
Pain and Pleasure
The pain pleasure principle, developed by Sigmund Freud, suggests that people make
choices to avoid or decrease pain or make choices that create or increase pleasure. The pain
pleasure principle is the core of all the decisions we make. Beliefs, values, actions and
decisions are built upon this principle.
Pain Builds Pleasure
The idea that we can achieve happiness by maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain
is both intuitive and popular. The truth, however, is very different: Pleasure alone cannot
make us happy. We need pain to provide a contrast for pleasure; without it, life becomes dull,
boring, and downright undesirable
Research work has shown that experiencing relief from pain not only increases our
feelings of happiness, but also reduces our feelings of sadness. Pain may not be a pleasurable
experience itself, but it builds our pleasure in ways that pleasure alone simply cannot
Pain may also make us feel more justified in rewarding ourselves with pleasant
experiences — just think how many people indulge themselves a little after a trip to the gym.
How do you find the happiness of pain?
Move Your Muscles
Research shows that exercise is an effective tool for managing chronic pain.
Movement helps to keep the body in optimal shape, but in addition to that, exercise can
release powerful endorphins, which can help to lower pain levels.

60
Some philosophers, , have hypothesized that the feelings of pain (or suffering) and
pleasure are part of a continuum.
There is strong evidence of biological connections between the neurochemical
pathways used for the perception of both pain and pleasure, as well as other psychological
rewards.
Pain
Emotional Pain but Not Physical Pain Can Damage Our Self-Esteem and Long-Term
Mental Health:
Physical pain has to be quite extreme to affect our personalities and damage our
mental health (again, unless the circumstances are emotionally traumatic as well) but even
single episodes of emotional pain can damage our mental health
Emotional pain is pain or hurt that originates from non-physical sources. Sometimes
this emotional distress is the result of the actions of others. Other times, it might be the result
of regret, grief, or loss.
Parkinson’s law
For example, according to Parkinson's law, if someone is given a week to complete a
task should really only take them a day to finish, they will often end up unnecessarily
stretching out the task, so that it will take them the whole week to complete it.
Parkinson's Law is the adage that work will expand to fill the time allotted for its
completion. Deadlines can cause procrastination or even prompt people to fill their time with
trivial matters
By assigning the right amount of time to a task, we gain back more time, and the task
will reduce in complexity to its natural state[
How can Parkinson's laws be prevented?

61
Pause before blaming
Psychological projection is a defence mechanism in which the human ego defends
itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their
existence in themselves while attributing them to others.
When you stop playing the blame game, you give yourself the time and space to grow
as a person. Living life as a victim means living in a distorted reality, and that is crippling.
When you exist in a perpetual state of blame, your thought patterns become a jumbled mess,
you may even develop sleep issues.
Ways to Skip the Blame Game
• Recognize when you are blaming. Awareness is always the first step. ...
• Self-blaming is good. It's better to take ownership than to blame others. ...
• Be empathetic, not judgmental. Focus on understanding the other person. ...
• Own Your Part. ...
• Don't let the problem blind you.
Jayadeva de Silva
1. Have an end time for the day. You must set a time that marks the end of the
day for your work. ...
2. Set self-imposed deadlines. Try to put a deadline for a project or task yourself.
...
3. Reward yourself for completing a project. ...
4. Challenge yourself to do it faster. ...
5. Work in time slots.
PERFECT PARTNER for Your Happiness
Everyone has an idea of a perfect partner. MOST TIMES, they picture someone they
have just met, someone they haven't met, someone that has left, or someone they might never
meet.
We are most alive when we're in love.
You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person
perfectly
True love stories never have endings

62
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
Love cures people—both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it
Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back
together."
Performance Anxiety and Happiness
Performance anxiety is fear about one's ability to perform a specific task. People
experiencing performance anxiety may worry about failing a task before it has even begun.
They might believe failure will result in humiliation or rejection. While performance anxiety
can occur with any task.
Yerkes and John Dillingham Dodson, demonstrated that moderate levels of anxiety
improve performance in humans and animals: too much anxiety, obviously, impairs
performance, but so does too little. Their findings have been experimentally demonstrated in
both animals and humans many times since then
Performance anxiety is caused primarily by negative thoughts. These thoughts can be
related to sex or other issues in your daily life.For an example, Men can feel pressured to
please their partners or feel insecure about their ability to perform sexually.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the survey found that anxiety affected workers' productivity
levels. Around 97pc of people who identified as having low anxiety levels said they were
productive at work, while only 86pc of those who said they have anxiety reported being
productive.
Anxiety is a normal reaction to stress and can be beneficial in some situations. It can
alert us to dangers and help us prepare and pay attention. Anxiety disorders differ from
normal feelings of nervousness or anxiousness, and involve excessive fear or anxiety.
Performance Problems ??
Performance anxiety is fear about one's ability to perform a specific task. People
experiencing performance anxiety may worry about failing a task before it has even begun.
They might believe failure will result in humiliation or rejection..
Performance anxiety symptoms may include:
• Racing pulse and rapid breathing.
• Dry mouth and tight throat.
• Trembling hands, knees, lips, and voice.
• Sweaty and cold hands.
• Nausea and an uneasy feeling in your stomach.
• Vision changes.

63
Nearly any situation can trigger performance anxiety, from competing in a sporting
event, to taking a test in school, to parallel parking while your friends are watching. People
who aren't normally anxious can suffer from performance anxiety. For example, even elite
athletes or musicians can choke under pressure . Performance anxiety can occur with any
task.
“Anxious reappraisal.”
Instead of trying to calm your way out of anxiety, reframe the feelings as excitement
and convert performance-related anxiety into goal-busting arousal congruency—a fancy term
for channeling that sense of adrenaline that comes from high-anxiety situations into a positive
effort, rather than simply trying to “keep calm and carry on” when it doesn’t feel right.
The crucial part is to simply accept you are anxious. It’s easy to waste time and
energy trying to fight anxiety on all fronts. So don’t do it.
Curb Analysis Paralysis
How attached are you to your devices? Nomophobia is the fear of being without a
connected device.
According to Scientific American, nomophobia arises according to “the degree to
which we depend on phones to complete basic tasks and to fulfill important needs such as
learning, safety and staying connected to information and to others.”
The need to be constantly connected to information can skew priorities
-
Plant a tree this season. Let it be your “Christmas” tree
A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit
in
Primal Fear of Loss
President Franklin Roosevelt famously asserted, "The only thing we have to fear, is fear
itself."
I think he was right: Fear of fear probably causes more problems in our lives than fear itself.
That claim needs a bit of explaining, I know.
Fear has gotten a bad rap. And it's not nearly as complicated as we try to make it. A simple
and useful definition of fear is: An anxious feeling, caused by our anticipation of some
imagined event or experience.

64
Medical experts tell us that the anxious feeling we get when we're afraid is a standardized
biological reaction. It's pretty much the same set of body signals, whether we're afraid of
getting bitten by a dog, getting turned down for a date, or getting our taxes audited.
Fear, like all other emotions, is basically information. It offers us knowledge and
understanding—if we choose to accept it.
And there are only five basic fears, out of which almost all of our other so-called fears are
manufactured. These are:
1. Extinction—the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental
way to express it than just "fear of death." The idea of no longer being arouses a primary
existential anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you
look over the edge of a high building.
2. Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of
having our body's boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or
natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy
things arises from fear of mutilation.
3. Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped,
overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances
beyond our control. In physical form, it's commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also
extends to our social interactions and relationships.
4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of
becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The "silent
treatment," when imposed by a group, can have a devastating effect on its target.
5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-
disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the self; the fear of the shattering or
disintegration of one's constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.

65
Problem Solving
The dreaded bathroom use issue! In schools
Case study from a teacher
It can really throw off a lesson. In my 20+ years in grades 4-8, I’ve seen my share of
“bathroom bluffs” and untimely “bathroom necessities”. For the sake of survival, I had to
develop strategies to improve my classroom management and reduce interruptions due to
bathroom issues. I am happy to share them.
Don’t make it easy
Use a sign out sheet. REQUIRE that the student fill it out and get it signed by the teacher. If
students know there’s a procedure, they realize that they’ll have to “work” for it. And it will
be that way EVERY time they use the restroom.
Classroom management improves when using a tracking system that is agreed upon by all
staff.
Here’s a bonus: when a student wants me to sign the hallway passport, I can see how many
times they’ve been out of class that day, week, month. If there is a trend, it’s easy to spot.

66
Problem solving is one more way to increase your happiness
Proverbs 27:2-25 CEV( From Bible)
Don't brag about yourself— let others praise you. Stones and sand are heavy, but trouble
caused by a fool is a much heavier load.
An angry person is dangerous, but a jealous person is even worse. A truly good friend will
openly correct you. You can trust a friend who corrects you, but kisses from an enemy are
nothing but lies. If you have had enough to eat, honey doesn't taste good, but if you are really
hungry, you will eat anything. When you are far from home, you feel like a bird without a
nest.
The sweet smell of incense can make you feel good, but true friendship is better still. Don't
desert an old friend of your family or visit your relatives when you are in trouble. A friend
nearby is better than relatives far away.
My child, show good sense! Then I will be happy and able to answer anyone who criticizes
me. Be cautious and hide when you see danger— don't be stupid and walk right into trouble.
You deserve to lose your coat if you loan it to someone to guarantee payment for the debt of
a stranger.
A loud greeting early in the morning is the same as a curse. The steady dripping of rain and
the nagging of a wife are one and the same. It's easier to catch the wind or hold olive oil in
your hand than to stop a nagging wife.
Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other. Take care of a tree, and
you will eat its fruit; look after your master, and you will be praised.
You see your face in a mirror and your thoughts in the minds of others. Death and the grave
are never satisfied, and neither are humans. Gold and silver are tested in a red-hot furnace,
but we are tested by praise.

67
No matter how hard you beat a fool, you can't pound out the foolishness. You should take
good care of your sheep and goats, because wealth and honor don't last forever. After the hay
is cut and the new growth appears and the harvest is over
Psychological flexibility and happiness
It’s a fact, the more black and white you are about how you see the world and the more
rigidly you live your life (how life MUST be or SHOULD be), the more misery you will have
in your life. Life has it’s own agenda and if you expect life to be a certain way in order for
you to be happy, you will be fighting a losing battle. Research has shown time and time again
that the key to happiness is to be psychologically flexible. In other words, the more able you
are to look at life in many different ways, the happier you wil be.
How to Improve Psychological Flexibility
1. Be Willing to Feel Difficult Emotions.
2. Step Back From Your Thoughts.
3. Focus on the Present.
4. Focus on Connection, Not Comparison.
5. Live by Your Own Values.
6. Build Habits Based on Your Values.
Becoming Less Rigid and More Flexible
1. Try new things. Try anything that you have not tried before. ...
2. Mix it up. Look at what you do exactly the same every single time.
Is psychological flexibility the same as resilience?
Another potential contributor to resilience is psychological flexibility, defined as the ability
to accept one's emotional experience without avoidance and, depending on situational
demands, continue to pursue one's goals despite a negative experience
Legacy
What is the legacy that we are leaving behind?

68
The greatest legacy anyone can leave behind is to positively impact the lives of others.
Whenever you add value to other people's lives, you are unknowingly leaving footprints on
the sands of time that live on, even after your demise.
What I want to be remembered for
I want to be remembered for always fighting for what is right for always making sure I'm
helping the person next to me. (Jayadeva de Silva)
Professional legacy?
In terms of your career, your professional legacy is what will remain after you're gone—from
a leadership role, a company, or life—and how you'll be remembered for what you have
contributed to the world.
Few Ways to Leave a Legacy
1. Live your legacy. ...
2. Live like you mean it. ...
3. Love like your life depended on it (it does). ...
4. Keep a journal. ...
5. Share the family stories with your children. ...
6. Be honest. ...
7. Ground your purpose in a greater purpose. ...
8. Give your family the gift of time.
Impulsivity -Question your initial impulse
An impulse is a sudden force or desire — this could be an electrical impulse, or an impulse to
get some pizza. If you act on a sudden feeling or thought, you're following an impulse. That's
like a whim: an impulse isn't something you've given a lot of thought.
If you do something on impulse, you suddenly decide to do it, without planning it.
Impulsivity is the tendency to act without thinking, for example if you blurt something out,
buy something you had not planned to, or run across the street without looking.

69
To a degree, this kind of behavior is common, especially in children or teenagers, and isn't
necessarily a sign of trouble
Myth: It’s Better to Stick to Your First Impulse Than Go Back and Change Multiple Choice
Test Answers
People with symptoms of impulsivity often:
Are impatient with waiting their turn or waiting in line.
Blurt out answers before questions have been completed.
Interrupt or intrude on others, such as butting into conversations or games.
Impulsivity is often accompanied by symptoms such as restlessness, hyperactivity,
inattention, problems doing quiet activities, problems with executive function, talking
excessively, and fidgeting.
How to control impulsive thinking
1. Press Pause And Give It 24 Hours. Most decisions can wait. ...
2. Talk Yourself Through Your Process. ...
3. Write Down The Facts. ...
4. Have A Level-Headed Colleague On Call. ...
5. Actively Listen. ...
Impulse ,however , is used in sports and in other areas.. Few examples are given below
Impulse is simply a measure of the force applied for a specific time. Impulse = force x time
and has units Ns (Newton seconds). It is an important concept in sport because many
techniques, particularly throwing activities, require the performer to apply as large a force
possible for as long as possible.
When a batsman plays a shot for six, a force acts on a ball through a bat for short interval of
time. We call that force, an impulsive force. . When a bullet strikes a glass, an impulsive
force acts on the glass.
Air bags in cars are designed with impulse, or momentum change principles. When a driver
gets into an accident their momentum carries them forward into the steering wheel. By

70
putting an airbag in the car, a smaller force is exerted over a longer period of time to change
the momentum of the driver to a stop.
Here is a Famous Interview Question
What are you positively passionate about
One area that I'm passionate about is self-development and self-improvement in my personal
life. I'm always looking to challenge myself and learn new things. ... Saying you enjoy self-
improvement and that you enjoy learning new things will make you seem like a great person
for them to hire.
Passionate means ... having, showing, or caused by strong feelings or beliefs.
• Every great dream begins with a dreamer. ...
• There is no passion to be found playing small--in settling for a life that is less than the
one you are capable of living....
• Develop a passion for continuous learning. ...
• Passion is energy.
What are you passionate about really?
--------- ---------------- -------
Pursue that ! . Your Happiness will follow
Recipe to be smart and happy
Read.
Surround yourself with positive people. They don’t need to be smart or smarter. They could
be positive, hard-working, disciplined. As long as you surround yourself with people who
have their own view and thinking, you’ve successfully surrounded yourself with good people.
Write.

71
Try out writing every day. It helps you keep things in perspective. I think, therefore I am.
How about, I write, therefore I am. It’s a fun twist to explore.
Don’t quit social media. I quit social media for a few months and while it had its positives, it
also came with a few drawbacks. In today’s world it’s important to stay connected. It’s
enough to make sure one doesn’t spend too much time on social media. But why quit if you
can use it for good?
Learn to tell stories.
Talk to as many people as you’re willing to do. Be open, stay open, stay learning.
Think! Don’t live your life on autopilot.
Stay on your own path. Ask yourself where you’re wanting to be in a few years and try to
work towards that instead of following the crowd.
Learn to face your fears, instead of avoiding them. It’s tough and difficult but it is indeed
what keeps you moving forward!
Learn to be happy no matter the outcome.

72
Regrets can be TOXIC for your happiness
The emotion can be all-consuming and destructive, as therapists see only too often. But
learning from your mistakes has the power to improve the future
There was once a banker in his 50s who had worked seven days a week for 25 years and
become a very wealthy man. Then, at the apex of his career, he looked around him and
realised that he had entirely neglected his family; as a result, his family had rejected him. The
regret was overwhelming, and came out in panic attacks every Sunday. Would this man be
able to find a way out of this cruel place he had created for himself?
This man was a patient of the psychoanalyst David Morgan, of the Institute of
Psychoanalysis, who spent several years helping him explore what had compelled him to
work so hard and to ignore his children (he has been anonymised and gave Morgan
permission to use his case). It became clear that this need to become richer than everyone else
had roots in his very early childhood, when he watched his parents nearly starve to death
during the 1980s miners’ strike. He had, unconsciously, repeated this by impoverishing his
children by not being there for them, in turn impoverishing himself of these loving
relationships, in his efforts to overcome the traumatic poverty of his childhood.
“That complicated understanding,” Morgan explains, “freed things up, setting his regret in a
generational context so he didn’t have to feel quite so guilty for acting something out,
because it was beyond his ken. It doesn’t mean that he can’t feel real pain, but that pain is
given a sense of history.” This meant his regret could be understood and given meaning – and
that changed his life.
Regret can be all-consuming, and it can destroy lives. We can see it all around us, whether it
is the man who cannot forgive himself for cheating on his first girlfriend and has not had a
serious relationship in 30 years. Or the woman who is so tied up in wishing she’d had a child
with her ex-partner, instead of breaking up with him, that she cannot find happiness in her
current circumstances.
Rejection can ruin your happiness
Rejection can be defined as the act of pushing someone or something away. ... Rejection can
be experienced on a large scale or in small ways in everyday life. While rejection is typically
a part of life, some types of rejection may be more difficult to cope with than others
Social rejection occurs when an individual is deliberately excluded from a social relationship
or social interaction. The topic includes interpersonal rejection, romantic rejection and
familial estrangement. A person can be rejected by individuals or an entire group of people.

73
Social rejection increases anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy and sadness. It reduces
performance on difficult intellectual tasks, and can also contribute to aggression and poor
impulse control
Growing up with a parent who is emotionally unavailable or highly critical can also cause
someone to develop a strong fear of rejection in other relationships. Rejection-sensitive
children also are more likely to behave aggressively.
Here's How to Deal With Rejection in a Healthy Way, According to Psychologists
1. Understand why rejection hurts so much. ...
2. Take a step back...and practice some self-care. ...
3. Take some time to process your emotions. ...
4. Practice self-affirmations. ...
5. Spend time with the people you love. ...
6. Or even just think about them.
Jayadeva de Silva
Remote work

74
Self Control Contract
Self-control is a complex skill that develops over time. Kids start building self-control when
they're very young and keep developing it into their 20s. .It is actually .. Impulse control , .So
kids put on “mental brakes” and stop and think before doing or saying something

Skills for Reinventing Your Career

Skills for Reinventing Your Career

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

What's hot

What's hot (20)

Similar to Skills for Reinventing Your Career

Similar to Skills for Reinventing Your Career (20)

More from Self-employed

More from Self-employed (20)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (20)

Skills for Reinventing Your Career