AEC 150 Capstone Integrated Skills Research Paper Feedback Guide Student _________Rakan___________________________________ Date Draft: ______________________ / Revision: ______________________ Skills Points Possible Draft Points Draft Comments Revision Points Revision Comments Content · Introduction is interesting and appropriate, includes research question · Clear and thoughtful thesis statement · Background paragraph defines terms, prepares reader for the paper · Body paragraphs include: topic sentences, supporting evidence (quotes), concluding sentences · Counterargument is well thought out and refutation is clear and related to counter argument (with evidence/quotes) · Conclusion includes a brief summary and wraps up the paper with mirror, challenge, or implications for the future 40 20 It’s really confusing what you mean by ICT (or just using technology in the classroom?) Just see if you can clarify your hook… Showing two sides is vague and there’s not research question…and since there’s no research question, the thesis doesn’t really make sense… Some things in the background need clear citations… Definition of terms like a glossary? Look at the examples again… It almost seems like whoever wrote the first four or five pages wasn’t in class with us when we worked on how to integrate a quote, how to explain and cite a quote and the format of an argumentative paragraph (topic sentence, discussion, example, analysis, conclusion…)…lots of claims have no citations… Organization · Ordering of support is appropriate (saves the best reason for last) · Coherence (use of transition techniques between paragraphs and transitions between ideas; everything clearly ties back to the thesis statement) 10 5 Watch your indenting…your topic sentences need to be clear topic sentences…and it needs to be clear what your real arguments are…transitions between paragraphs and ideas make your paper even more confusing because they’re not related to the thesis statement (which isn’t clear either)…This is an argumentative essay with a background paragraph…it’s what you’ve done before… Format/Citations · Accurate citation of sources · Gives credit to original source when quoting a quote · Quotes integrated into text smoothly · Quotes adequately explained/have context · APA formatting is correct and consistent · Reference page is in proper format and accurate 15 7 APA formatting is close, but not quite right… Orphan quotes in the introduction… Also, no block formatting…I fixed the first paragraph, so you can fix the rest… Quotes not cited or integrated properly…sometimes the word (quote) but no quote? Some arguments don’t even have citations…some quotes used more than once…oof! Watch formatting on the reference page as well (check the models for when to indent) Grammar Mechanics/ Sentence Structure · Verbs · Nouns · Prepositions/articles · Adjective/adverbs · Spelling/punctuation/capitaliza ...

1. AEC 150 Capstone Integrated Skills
Research Paper Feedback Guide
Student
_________Rakan___________________________________
Date Draft: ______________________ / Revision:
______________________
Skills
Points Possible
Draft Points
Draft Comments
Revision Points
Revision Comments
Content
· Introduction is interesting and appropriate, includes research
question
· Clear and thoughtful thesis statement
· Background paragraph defines terms, prepares reader for the
paper
· Body paragraphs include: topic sentences, supporting evidence
(quotes), concluding sentences
· Counterargument is well thought out and refutation is clear
and related to counter argument (with evidence/quotes)
· Conclusion includes a brief summary and wraps up the paper
with mirror, challenge, or implications for the future
40

2. 20
It’s really confusing what you mean by ICT (or just using
technology in the classroom?) Just see if you can clarify your
hook…
Showing two sides is vague and there’s not research
question…and since there’s no research question, the thesis
doesn’t really make sense…
Some things in the background need clear citations…
Definition of terms like a glossary? Look at the examples
again…
It almost seems like whoever wrote the first four or five pages
wasn’t in class with us when we worked on how to integrate a
quote, how to explain and cite a quote and the format of an
argumentative paragraph (topic sentence, discussion, example,
analysis, conclusion…)…lots of claims have no citations…

3. Organization
· Ordering of support is appropriate (saves the best reason for
last)
· Coherence (use of transition techniques between paragraphs
and transitions between ideas; everything clearly ties back to
the thesis statement)
10
5
Watch your indenting…your topic sentences need to be clear
topic sentences…and it needs to be clear what your real
arguments are…transitions between paragraphs and ideas make
your paper even more confusing because they’re not related to
the thesis statement (which isn’t clear either)…This is an
argumentative essay with a background paragraph…it’s what
you’ve done before…
Format/Citations
· Accurate citation of sources
· Gives credit to original source when quoting a quote
· Quotes integrated into text smoothly
· Quotes adequately explained/have context
· APA formatting is correct and consistent
· Reference page is in proper format and accurate
15

4. 7
APA formatting is close, but not quite right…
Orphan quotes in the introduction…
Also, no block formatting…I fixed the first paragraph, so you
can fix the rest…
Quotes not cited or integrated properly…sometimes the word
(quote) but no quote?
Some arguments don’t even have citations…some quotes used
more than once…oof!
Watch formatting on the reference page as well (check the
models for when to indent)
Grammar Mechanics/ Sentence Structure
· Verbs
· Nouns
· Prepositions/articles
· Adjective/adverbs
· Spelling/punctuation/capitalization
· Sentence variety
· Word choice
· Tone
35

5. 20
Lots of strange grammar, like you’re paraphrasing something
you read but didn’t do it very clearly…
Total
100
52
Rakan,
Overall I’m surprised by this paper. It’s not an argumentative
essay like we’ve been studying the entire six weeks at all. It
should be six or seven paragraphs (look at the outline I gave
you on bboard). Your quotes are not integrated at all, the thesis
isn’t clear, the research question is on page 7…it’s almost like
the person who wrote this hasn’t been in our class at all. It
makes me think that you didn’t really learn very much from me
this semester and that makes me sad
Achleitner SU06/Revised ’11, ‘12
Running Head: INFORMATION AND COMMUNICATION
TECHNOLOGY
1
INFORMATION AND COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
11
Information and communication technology in education
Alhakeem Rakan

6. University of Miami
Author note
This paper was prepared for Reading Writing Level 5,Section
B,taught
by Professor Parkes
In
every area of education today, we have seen something unique
being used for teaching, which sums up
information and communication technology
. Technology has brought change
in the society at a fast pace, and this has had a significant
effect on the way in which the people are living, working and
even play
all over the world. “New technology is offering a challenge to
the traditional means of teaching and learning as well as the
way in which education management takes place” (Trajkovski,
2006).
From Trajvoski we see that information technology though is an
area in its right is having a great impact across all the
curriculum areas. There is easy international
communication that provides access to data that is instant.
Since there is rapid communication and increased access to
information technology in educational establishments, education
and learning are true constant activity
. Technology
in education is not wholly beneficial as such; there are certain
instances where it has some shortcomings
. Information and communication technology is, therefore,
imperative in education today and for the future
, the pace of technological change means that learning and
evaluation will have to take place time after time.
ICT is information and communication technology
is like an extended synonym of information technology (IT) and
known as ICT
. ICT is unified communication of learning by auto

7. -visual, and the computer is necessary to use like that kind of
education
,However.non-secular definition or no universal definition
?
, “The use of ICT in education has had much
failure than successes” Trajkovski, (2006). (Quote)
According to his analogy
, he believes that the use of technology has been a success
in open distance learning and the military simulation. There is
four major juncture
in the history of using the computer in education. The first
phase is late 1970 to early 1980, which is programming, drill
and practice
. The end of the 1980s to beginning of the 1990s entailed
computer based training with multimedia, at the beginning of
the 1990s there, came the internet base training, end of the
1990s and the beginning of 2000 was the age of e-learning, and
the last age was the end of 2000 which is made up of social
software
(Trajkovski, 2006).
Definition of terms
Automated Data Processing: This data processing software
automatically determines outcomes of data in the form of
information. It intended for use in teaching programs, but it is
used to teach pupils mathematics and logic.
Internet Based Training: This was introduced with the
advancement of internet-based training.
E- learning: this was the advanced form of internet-based
learning that came into existence at around 2000
Conclusively we can state that there is a need to research this
topic because there have been conflicting claims that stated that

8. computer education is much more of failure than stories of
success.
There have been claims by researchers such as Erik Duval, who
are of the opinion that technology has not had a
enourmous impact on how people learn. The researcher
claims that in distance learning and military simulation, this
has been a success. This paper, therefore, would set out to
establish a contrary argument to this.
Moreover,
this is the era of technology and information technology helps
with plenty of resources to enhance skills in teaching and
learning. The use of informatics has helped in the creation of
the visual form of education
. Resources that are available for learning are being widened
further and further. Through this brilliant technique as part of
the curriculum, learners are asked to take
computers as tools that can be used in all parts of education
and studies. More particularly, it is important to make use of
multimedia technology when communicating ideas, and
describing projects. In early days before computer technology,
there were no distinct forms of learning
, and there were certain aspects of learning that could not be
passed across to the students quite effectively. It is through this
argument that information and communication technology is
relevant to education
.
Further, the second example bases
on collaborative learning, it is easy for people today to study or
teach in groups. Through online means, people are able to unite
and do those tasks that they desire. “Various telephone systems
and playback models are utilized in all parts of educational
broadcasting with computer technology” (Pour, 2013).
There are computers and web-based sites that are familiar to
several children in countries that are developed, but they have

9. remained of little or no importance if several children from
developing the world do not access them
.
As a matter of fact
, there is immediacy in education through information
technology. The pace through which imparting of knowledge
has taken is fast since the introduction of information and
communication technology in the education system. “Emergent
information technology has been introduced into patterns that
are well established in working and living without altering the
systems” (Brynjolfsson & Saunders, 2010).
One example is in a traditional office, with secretaries working
through keyboards and notes being put down on paper and
exchanged manually. This has remained more stable even in the
case where personal computers have taken the place of the
typewriter.
Alternatively
, the second example
involves learning that can take place at any time. The pace of
education is very fast due to the invention of information and
communication technology. The means through which education
is imparted is very quickly, and any person can learn. “An
individual can study whenever they are willing at any time
whether it is during the day or at night” (Brynjolfsson &
Saunders, 2010).
This does not matter the location of the individual since
technology will make everything available at any time.
On the other hand, there are no shortcuts to a good education
through technology
. Several students today make use of information found through
online means, information
in online sources is in abundance yet most of it is largely
inaccurate. “There is a huge tendency of students shifting from

10. the natural use of published book” (Pour, 2013). With
information technology offering an avenue for making money,
most of the publishers create their online information for the
sake of money and do not take a time to confirm the accuracy of
the argument
. They write anything that they come about with the intention of
gaining a high amount of clicks from search engines through
which they generate money
. Usually, publishers come up with keywords that are highly
searched online and write anything they know about such areas
and place it online, this data is never reviewed. Students usually
rely on such data and in most cases; they are penalized for such
use of information.
Use of computers in education has a series of failures which
risks the whole idea of information technology being rated as a
failure. “Erick Duval is of the opinion that informational
technology has had a lower impact on how people learn but has
been much more efficient when it comes to military simulation
and distant learning” (Pour, 2013
). The models are seen not to fit quite well regarding classroom
and development of students. There is the claim that from the
perspective of learning, the only show of concept is in cases of
use of computers in universities and school’s environments, is
through the small-scale experiment with computer-supported
collaborative learning.
The main argument that has been offered as to why the impact
of information technology is marginal is that there are certain
conceptual biases, and there are small changes that have been
made to help the situation.
The direction taken by implementers of information technology
in education is wrong, and it is the cause of slow growth in the
development of this form of technology
.

11. Conclusively
it can be stated that the history of electronic and communication
technology in school has been marked with certain elements of
failure. Studies have indicated that it is quite difficult to have a
significant impact on computers. Technology at the best
capacity is only an amplifier of pedagogical capacity in the
educational system.
The
challenge that is faced by the society today is that people are
trying to make use of technology as a shortcut to success.
Educational institutions should make use of informatics as the
supplement to educative management. “It is important that
different provisions should be created which will ensure that
learning methods are not diluted through the use of information
technology materials that have not been audited” (Trajkovski,
2006). The society does not understand that information and
communication technology should be used as a means of
supplementing their writing and not a shortcut through which
they eliminate their personal writing
.
The quality of writing among students has tremendously gone
down comparing what pupils in the last century have been
writing and what is being written in this century. Students no
longer rely on prose and complete sentence structures, much of
what is taking place is students who are writing formal
academic papers in precise text language. Professors and
students are the main people who need to understand the point
at which the society lost their cultural understanding of proper
writing and make changes that will ensure that everything is
back to normal. Should people believe, ICT can help effect our
lives in a good way?!
Today, education providers should ensure that they come up
with means through which information technology is used as a

12. supplement to the traditional methods of learning and not to
replace such means. In education, if information technology
must be used, then it should be targeting for certain specific use
or for limited to those well-funded initiatives. “The education
system should come up with a curriculum system in which
students are provided with a basic understanding of the formal
writing in relation to informal writing” (Trajkovski, 2006). It is
important to create a means through which the effects of
information technology will be eliminated in the education
system. We are already in a situation whereby all that is taught
through the curriculum is eliminated the moment students step
out of the classroom, and they get back into their computers,
their phones, and tablets.The system is designed for the right
reason of teaching students the best form of writing, but they
have not come up with a means through which the students can
be helped to understand the difference between how informal
writing and formal writing.
The twenty-first century started with several
opportunities to make use of information technology to achieve
the growing amount of needs in the society. “The payoffs that
come from investing in information technology initiative that
launched several centuries ago are now beginning to manifest,
and information technology is now shifting from the laboratory
where it was created into the offices, stores and educational
classroom” (Anderson, 2004). The most important area of
concern is how its use in the classroom can be made even much
better than it is currently being used. The fact that most
businesses are linked to education and academics means that in
classroom information technology should be expanded
drastically for the benefit of future intellectuals who are in
business cycles.
To sum up, technology has changed dramatically in the
society at a fast stride, and this has had the biggest influence on
the manner in which the people are living, working and even

13. play all over the world.”Technology in education is not wholly
beneficial as such; there are certain instances where it has some
shortcomings” (Anderson, 2004). The use of information
technology has helped the people to be a creative person by the
visual form of education. Resources that are available for
learning are being widened further and further. There is
immediacy in the teaching through information technology. The
pace through which imparting of knowledge has taken is fast
since the introduction of information and communication
technology in the education system. The means through which
education is imparted is very quickly, and any person can learn.
An individual can study whenever they are willing at any time
whether it is during the day or at night.
The most important thing that the society needs to do is to
strike a balance between the provisions of information
technology and actual learning that takes place in the
classroom. Education stakeholders have not been able to come
up with means through which they can eliminate the negative
aspects of information technology in learning. The first and
most important suggestion should involve the government and
others stakeholders coming up with a means through which
students learn to understand the difference between information
technology for proper use and information technology for
informal use. The moment we realize how we can split the two
form of using information technology we will be able to
eliminate the gray area that brings about an overlap between the
good and bad sides of information technology. “It is very
important to teach students how they can make use of
information technology and not be enslaved by its presence”
(Pour, 2013). We should avoid a scenario where without
computer learning comes to a halt.
Information technology has got high promise as a means for
improvement the quality and availability of education at all
levels. In order to achieve the pledge, it is important to have

14. several experiments and research. The use of those elements
that are known to be effective should be expanded and be
implemented. The federal government should make use of the
aggressive research facility to evaluate the efficacy in the short
and long run development of education development matters.
The approaches that are used should be fostered through the use
of developing and advanced technologies. The formulation and
implementation of the police developed should be based on
electronic learning models.
References
Anderson, A. (2004). Foundations of computer technology.
London: Chapman & Hall.
Brynjolfsson, E., & Saunders, A. (2010). Wired for innovation
how information technology is reshaping the economy.
Cambridge, Mass.: MIT Press.
Pour, M. (2013). Global information technology education:
Issues and trends. Harrisburg, PA: Idea Group Pub.
Trajkovski, G. (2006). Diversity in information technology
education issues and controversies. Hershey PA: Information
Science Pub.
� Watch spacing
� Wc (which is?)
� pl
� wf

15. � ? technology makes it easy to communicate internationally?
What are you trying to say here?
� pl
� cs
� What do you mean by this? This already happens without
technology…
� del
� Audio?
� What kind of education?
� ? non-secular? What does that have to do with anything?
What is going on in this quote? It’s very confusing…
� Many more failures? Check this quote again…
� Wc (it’s not an analogy…it’s a statement).
� Vf, pl

16. � Who?
� wc
� cs
� Wc?
� Indent?
�Look punctuation/format for the author note…
�Don’t forget to put the full title on the first page…check
formatting…
�Like what? This is vague…how is it related to teaching?
�Orphan quote…
�Transition?
�Can you be a little more specific here when you’re showing
two sides?

17. �ICT (Information and Communication Technology)
�At this point, I’m still not sure what ICT is…internet?
Computers? Phones? Your definition is very vague…and how is
it currently used in the classroom? This also isn’t clear….
�?
�Not according to your quote…
�Cite?
�Is this a quote?
�What is this? Please proofread your papers so you don’t make
strange mistakes like this…
�IF you remember from the examples, the terms are defined in
paragraph form, not just like a glossary…
�This doesn’t seem like a topic sentences for your argument, it
seems more like a conclusion for the background paragraph…
�This is not necessary for you…you need a thesis
statement…where is your thesis statement? It should come well
before page 4…

18. �This doesn’t make sense considering the sentence before is
kind of like a thesis statement…
�What is this?
�This is not true. Where is your evidence (quote for this
information?)
�Is this an argumentative paragraph? Where is the topic
sentence? Where is the evidence? Where is the conclusion?
�Transition to second argument?
�Orphan quote and page?
�What is the point of this paragraph? The conclusion is
strange…
�Another argumentative paragraph? What’s the argument?
�Orphan quote…
�I thought your paper was about education though….so this
entire paragraph doesn’t really relate…

19. �Extra space here?
�Example of what? We’re on page 5 and I’m not sure what
you’re really arguing…you say that you think we should use
ICT, but then what’s the point if poor children don’t have
access. Then, you talk about ICT in the workplace…this current
paragraph seems like what you’ve said earlier in another small
paragraph…organization is really lacking….
�Orphan quotes…
�This seems like a counterargument!
�Where is your source for this information…
�No quotes at all for the counter? Where is the refutation?
�Didn’t you already use this quote?
�What do you mean by this? Do you have an example?
�Is this a refutation? Who wrote this? It’s not like anything
we’ve been working on in class…
�What’s going on in this paragraph? Not counter or refuation?
What is it’s purpose?

20. �? Not sure at all what’s going on here…
�This seems like a cool idea…is it your refutation? It’s not
really connected to the counterarguent…
�Research question on page 7?