asdf

1. Here’s the email as we received it

2. With identifying information
blurred out
Here’s the email as we received it

3. With identifying information
blurred out
Our goal here is learning, not
public shaming
Here’s the email as we received it

4. Ok, on to the first thing you see
from your inbox: the subject line

5. Ok, on to the first thing you see
from your inbox: the subject line
Ok, on to the first thing you see
from your inbox: the subject line

6. “Hi David” isn’t very creative, nor is
it descriptive…

7. It doesn’t really scream “open
me!” or at the very least hint at the
content of the message
“Hi David” isn’t very creative, nor is
it descriptive…

8. The real killer here is that he called
him “David”

9. The real killer here is that he called
him “David”
5 seconds of research would have
revealed…

10. The real killer here is that he called
him “David”
5 seconds of research would have
revealed…
That he goes by “Dave”
and NOT “David”

11. The real killer here is that he called
him “David”
5 seconds of research would have
revealed…
That he goes by “Dave”
and NOT “David”

12. The real killer here is that he called
him “David”
5 seconds of research would have
revealed…
That he goes by “Dave”
and NOT “David”
There he is!

13. So, even at the outset Dave knows
this isn’t coming from someone he
knows or has a relationship with

14. So, even at the outset Dave knows
this isn’t coming from someone he
knows or has a relationship with
Do your research, people!

15. So, even at the outset Dave knows
this isn’t coming from someone he
knows or has a relationship with
Do your research, people!
Let’s say that Dave opens the email
anyways…

16. Yep, the name is
still wrong

17. And it starts out with a
negative opening line.
Yikes.
Yep, the name is
still wrong

18. And it starts out with a
negative opening line.
Yikes.
Yep, the name is
still wrong
Sounds like there’s not
much value here. Why
keep reading?

19. Onwards…

20. Why is research
capitalized?

21. Why is research
capitalized?
What kind of research are
we talking about here?

22. Why is research
capitalized?
What kind of research are
we talking about here?
Research for making
“strategic business
decisions”…

23. Why is research
capitalized?
What kind of research are
we talking about here?
Research for making
“strategic business
decisions”…
Huh?

24. Maybe that’s a thing at a large
companies… but not at startups. We’re
a startup, and that’s everybody’s job

25. Maybe that’s a thing at a large
companies… but not at startups. We’re
a startup, and that’s everybody’s job

26. This could have been more
personalized with a little more
research done in advance

27. A pretty standard call to action here,
asking for the decision maker

28. A pretty standard call to action here,
asking for the decision maker
Unfortunately, the value they provide
isn’t clear – nor is the use case

29. Wait, what? Are you sending this from
a mobile device?

30. Wait, what? Are you sending this from
a mobile device?
It’s clearly automated, with little research done
beforehand. Even the unsubscribe link is obvious

31. Wait, what? Are you sending this from
a mobile device?
It’s clearly automated, with little research done
beforehand. Even the unsubscribe link is obvious
Which is actually a good
thing in this case!

32. But making it a hyperlink is
probably a good idea, so we
don’t see the whole ugly URL
Wait, what? Are you sending this from
a mobile device?
It’s clearly automated, with little research done
beforehand. Even the unsubscribe link is obvious
Which is actually a good
thing in this case!

33. But making it a hyperlink is
probably a good idea, so we
don’t see the whole ugly URL
Wait, what? Are you sending this from
a mobile device?
It’s clearly automated, with little research done
beforehand. Even the unsubscribe link is obvious
Which is actually a good
thing in this case!
Also, is that a tracking pixel?
Oops!

34. There’s clearly a lot of room
for improvement on this one.