Tips For Watching Porn With Your Partner

1. 8 Tips For Watching Porn With Your
Partner
I constantly hear about the benefits of ​watching porn​ with your partner, but I'm always
left with the question, "how do you go about that?" How do you bring it up, what do you
do to get the most out of it, and then how do you apply that experience to your own sex
life? Also, how do you deal with the awkwardness that could come up — not to mention
the rampant misogyny and unrealistic portrayals of sex in mainstream porn? So, I asked
some experts how the heck you go about watching porn as a couple.
First, though, don't feel pressured into this activity if you're not totally comfortable with
it. Not everyone wants to watch porn, not everyone wants their partner to watch porn,
and even those who are totally cool with it may not want to make it a couples' activity.
Don't feel like you should watch porn with your partner in order to be the "cool girl" or
do what they want. Only do what makes you comfortable and turns you on.
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2. That said, if you're both on board with it, watching porn can bring you closer, become a
starting point to talk about how to spice up your sex life, and warm you up for sex.
So, if you're into the idea, here's how to do it.
1. Discuss It In Advance
Just as you wouldn't touch your partner in a specific way or send them a nude photo
without their clear consent, you shouldn't spring any videos upon them that you haven't
agreed on beforehand. While some people will be totally cool with it, "some partners will
take offense and feel pressured if you surprise them with porn," says relationship expert
April Masini.
2. Make It About You Two
The idea of introducing other people into your bedroom, even just through a video, can
make some people feel deprioritized. So, when you ask your partner if you'd be
interested in watching porn together, emphasize that ultimately, your goal is to enhance
sex between the two of you, says Couples Counselor and Dating Coach Samantha Burns,
LMHC. She suggests saying something like, "I was thinking that maybe we could mix it
up a bit and watch some videos to inspire us. I think that would be really hot, and just
the idea of it makes me want to put my hands all over you."
If you don't think insecurity will be an issue for your partner, then you can simply say, "I
thought we could watch something together" or "I wanted to show you something that
turns me on."
3. Frame It As Just A Bonus
Be careful not to imply that watching porn is your proposed solution to a lackluster sex
life, says Masini. "When you introduce this as something fun and extra, it doesn’t feel
like such a big deal, and that’s really the best way to have good sex."
4. Pick Something Good
Porn is a dime a dozen on the internet, but good porn takes a little more digging. Good
Vibrations Staff Sexologist Carol Queen recommends looking for feminist porn, which

3. you can find on Good Vibrations' website or the Feminist Porn Awards site, to minimize
the chances that you'll stumble upon something degrading. "Don’t just let your partner’s
taste dictate what you’d choose," says Queen. "Think of your own interests too."
5. Start Simple
If you're not sure where to start, go with something that makes you both comfortable
and mimics something you'd actually be willing to try, says Burns. You can save the
kinky scenarios and new moves for your second porn session.
6. Make It Interactive
To keep making it clear that this is an addition to your sex life, not a substitute, interact
with your partner while you're watching the porn, says Burns. Touch them, look at them,
and tell them how hot they'd look doing what you're seeing.
7 Give Your Honest Opinion

4. Agree not to judge each other over what turns you on or turns you off, and be honest
about your reaction to each video. "Often times, people feel embarrassed talking about
their sexual fantasies or fetishes one on one in the bedroom, so watching porn together
gives you a specific context to broach these types of topics," says Burns.
8 Remember, This Is Not Sex Ed
The fact that porn can inspire your sex life IRL doesn't make it an accurate reflection of
sex, says Queen. So don't expect your partner to look or act like a porn star. Take what
you're watching with a grain of salt, and when it gets ridiculous, you can even share a
good laugh over it. After all, they say laughter is an aphrodisiac.