Stop Trying to Change Me!!
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People don't resist change, they resist being coerced. In this session I talked about how our brains are not our friends and that 'resistance' is the brain's response to a threat based on the SCARF model by David Rock
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Stop Trying to Change Me!!
- 1. Jason Little Stop Trying to Change Me!! Thank you to our Sponsors 1
- 2. stop trying to change me!! It’s impossible It’s impossible that won’t work here that won’t work here we’re doing we’re doing fine fine my way is better I Idon’t have the don’t have the authority authority This is stupid This is stupid
- 3. @jasonlittle #sdec13 what’s it like?
- 4. @jasonlittle #sdec13 but what about?
- 5. @jasonlittle #sdec13 why is that?
- 10. @jasonlittle #sdec13 time for fun! 1) Pair up with someone, ideally someone you don’t know 2) One person is the coach 3) The other person has a problem they want help with 4) Coaches, use the cheat sheet provided 5 Min
- 11. @jasonlittle #sdec13 Coachees... What was that like?
- 12. @jasonlittle #sdec13 Round 2 Coaches, use the other questions on the cheat sheet 5 Min
- 13. @jasonlittle #sdec13 Coachees... What was that like?
- 14. @jasonlittle #sdec13 Threat to Status
- 15. @jasonlittle #sdec13 Threat to Certainty
- 16. @jasonlittle #sdec13 Threat to Autonomy
- 18. @jasonlittle #sdec13 Threat to Fairness
- 21. @jasonlittle #sdec13 Thank You! Remember, your brain is not your friend!
- 22. THREATENING QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS: why did you do that? why did you think that would work? why didn’t you <do something else> instead? you should have done <this action> instead. you shouldn’t have done that. BAD BEHAVIOUR TIPS - cut the other person off - shrug off what they say - avoid eye contact NON-THREATENING QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS: GOOD BEHAVIOUR TIPS What have you tried so far? - listen, don’t talk How important is solving this to you on a 1-10 scale? - echo back what they say That sounds like a rough situation for you. - make eye contact What is it about this situation that bothers you the most? What would be the best outcome for you? Avoid questions that start with “why” or “you”