1. SMILIN' VIC
bULL & THE aXE
by Smilin' Vic
BULL & THE AXE
Iclimbed through the fence
and headed across the pasture with the axe.
I was going to cut persimmon sprouts. My
daughter’s FFA project snorted and came
charging at me.
This was something new to me. We’d
never had a Brahma before. They are a
different kind of animal, that’s for sure. I
was used to a herford cow showing fight if
she had a new calf, but I’d never been
treated this way by a young bull. And this
brammer had me in his sights.
I hollered at him and waved my arms,
thinking he’d run like most cows do. He did
run. But with his head down and straight for
me.
So, I ran, too…for the only shelter
around…a telephone pole.
Now, there ain’t much room behind a
pole to hide and be outta sight. I’d peek out
to the right, just to distract him so he
wouldn’t come after my tail which was
sticking out on the left. Me and that bull did
a fast dance all around that pole.

2. SMILIN' VIC
I had an axe in my hand, but I couldn’t
use it. I’d paid too much for that blamed
bull!
All I could do was dance with him ‘till
he got tired and went on. And I sure couldn’t
afford to be the one to tire out first. Rough
as he was dancing, he might do mor’n just
step on my toes.
This was beginning to get embarrassing.
It was a hard thing to do. But while I
was behind that post, looking that bull
square in the eyes, I swallowed my pride and
gave a yell for my dear little wife.
She was in the house and I shore
hoped she didn’t have the volume up on the
TV.
So as me and that bull were wearing a
trail around that pole, I yelled some more.
Only, now, it was coming outta my raw throat
like a quivering scream.
She came tearing out the back door.
When she saw her dear hubby’s silhouette
zipping around in that dust fog...well, her
eyes showed red.
That bull was in big trouble now. She
came under that fence after him.
BULL & THE AXE
He saw the movement and turned his
attention to her. I saw my break and made
for the opposite fence. I rolled under, spit
grass and spring to my feet.
She was already back on our side of
the fence, too. And still yelling at that bull.
For some reason, when she yelled at him, he
knew she meant business and lit out across
the pasture.
Kinda like with the kids. I get the
same kinda respect from them.
Over the fence, I watched that bull
trotting off and turned to the little woman.
“Fer all I care, them persimmon sprouts can
become trees!”
“Your axe is still out there in the
pasture.” she noted.
“That axe can lay there and rust!” I
pouted.
She smiled up at me, all understanding
like. Dust puffed off my shirt as she patted
my shoulder. “Don’t worry, Honey. When I go
feed, I’ll pick it up for you.”
Now, I ask you,
ain’t She
just a little Sweetheart?