2. smilin' vic
COW IN THE TRUCK
By Smilin’ Vic
as told by JD Crow
Me and Billy Tosh worked on
McKeller’s Ranch. The owner, Dr. Lee wanted
us to keep a good eye on them pure bred
Brammer cows he had.
He preferred to have ‘um in the barn
when they calved, but…well, you just never
knew how it was gonna go. There might be a
cow that you knew was about to calve. You’d
go down and check on her and see she hadn’t
had it, yet. Two hours later, you'd drop back
by and there she’d be; with a brand new
baby calf!
Anyway, we’d spotted one we’d just
missed.
Billy had an idea. He said, “I’ll jump in
the back and you drive the truck. You back
the truck up to the cow.
3. COW IN THE TRUCK
When she moves away from us, I’ll
jump out, throw the calf in the back and
she’ll foller us to the barn.”
Well, that sounded like an aw right
plan, to me.
Billy let the tailgate down and got in. I
turned in the truck seat and watched out
the back winder as I backed up.
The cow stood lickin’ the new calf.
I eased the truck toward 'um.
The tailgate was stickin’ out behind
us. When it touched the cow, she startin’
backing up, just like Billy said she’d do.
Step by step, little by little, we edged
her back, until she was far enough away
from her calf.
Billy jumped out.
Mama cow saw him and started slingin’
her head and pawin’ the ground.
He threw the calf in the back of the
truck, slammed the tailgate shut and jumped
over into the bed of the truck with the calf.
Well, the tailgate fell back open.
The cow come chargin’.
Billy was yellin’, “Go! Go!”
4. smilin' vic
I fumbled around for a gear, then I
gunned it. Well, naturally, the back tires
just set there spinnin’ in the green spring
grass.
The tail gate was down and that
chargin’ cow come right on up into the truck
bed with her calf and Billy.
Billy didn’t stay there long, he jumped
on top of the cab and was beating on the
truck, yellin’, “Go! Go! Go!”
I was going, just not going forward.
When I come to my senses and slowed
down just a little, the spinnin’ tires took hold
and we took off.
It was just in time, too. The cow
hadn’t quite got her hind legs into the truck
when we lunged forward.
So, there she was, her front legs still
hangin’ on to the tailgate. She was standin’
up and a-runnin’ behind the truck on her two
hind legs.
It looked like she was runnin’ upright
across the pasture, pushing that truck along
in front of her, like it was a big ol’
wheelbarrow!
5. COW IN THE TRUCK
Billy was a-kickin’ at her and tryin’ to
stay on top of the slick cab. I was behind
the wheel, lookin’ over my shoulder, and
tryin’ to outrun that mad cow!
Billy was a-hangin’ on and I was a-
pourin’ it on.
We finally got up enough speed that
her front hooves sild off the tailgate. But
when they hit the ground...well then; she
just kept comin’ on all fours!
The empty tailgate was a-floppin’, the
baby calf was a-bawlin’ and for all I know,
Billy mighta been, too. But all I could hear
was the thunder of his body slammin’ up and
down on top of the truck cab above my head.
He was scratchin’ and clawin’ to hang on and
ride it across that rough pasture.
It was a close race, but we had a V-
six and we beat Mama to the barn.
I hit the brakes in front of a stall.
The calf slid forward against the back of
the cab and poor ol' Billy rained over my
windshield, rolling off my hood like someone
had just tossed the baby out with the
bathwater.
6. smilin' vic
When he sprang to his feet, his head
POPPED into my sight in front of the truck.
“Open the gate!” I yelled as I swung
out my door and leaped over into the bed of
the truck. I scooped the little calf up in my
arms and ran inside the pen.
We were like a well-oiled machine, or
maybe like two fellers who didn’t wanna
come between a mama cow and her baby
when they held their family reunion.
Billy was holdin' the gate open wide, I
was tossin’ Junior into the hay and Mama
was runnin’ into the barn toward us.
We both dived for our truck seats.
Both truck doors were swingin’ closed, while
I was floorin’ it out of there.
Mama rushed into the pen, bellerin’
and a-lickin’ her young'un.
I backed the truck up, jumped out and
pushed the gate shut.
All a fair day’s work crammed into the
last few minutes!
We could take a breath, now.
Ol’ Doc Lee WOULD NEVER KNOW.
7. COW IN THE TRUCK
Yup, he MIGHT JUST THINK that we
had his ol’ Mama cow penned up in the barn
the WHOOOLE TIME while she was having
her calf!
I heard Billy thinkin’ out loud behind
me, so I turned around. He was standing
there, lookin’ at the truck.
“Ya' know," he was sayin', "I believe
I kin get them dents out o’ the top of that
truck with a plunger and a hammer.”
