If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to re­mind him of your past assistance and good deeds. He will find a way to ignore you. Instead, uncover some­thing in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion. He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

1. Law 13: When Asking for Help Appeal to
People's Self-Interest Never To Their
Mercy or Gratitude
If you need to turn to an ally for help, do
not bother to remind him of your past
assistance and good deeds. He will find a
way to ignore you. Instead, uncover
something in your request, or in your
alliance with him, that will benefit him,
and emphasize it out of all proportion. He
will respond enthusiastically when he
sees something to be gained for himself.
Tariq Al-Basha @ albashatariq@outlook.com 1

2. ▪ The art of asking people for help
depends on your ability to understand
the person you are dealing with, and to
not confuse your needs with theirs.
▪ Know that even the most powerful person
is locked inside needs of his own, and
that if you make no appeal to his self-
interest, he merely sees you as desperate
or, at best, a waste of time.
Tariq Al-Basha @ albashatariq@outlook.com 2

3. Tariq Al-Basha @ albashatariq@outlook.com
3

4. 1. DON’T BRING
UP THE PAST
▪ Bringing up the past, rather good or bad, will not help
you in your cause. The justice and nobility of your cause
will not prevail. Not only is a man not obliged to be
grateful, gratitude is often a terrible burden that he
gladly discards. It is best to speak pragmatically to
pragmatic people. People rarely act against their own
interests.
▪ ike in the case of the Corcyrans and the Corinthians who
were at the brink of war with one another. They both
wanted to win over the Athenians as an ally because to do
so, would surely win the war. Both sides were to send
representatives to plead their case to the Athenians. The
Corcyra representative could only offer one thing and
that was an alliance of mutual interests to create a
formidable force that could intimidate the rival state of
Sparta. The representative from Corinth only talked about
their past relationship with Athens and went on to list the
many services Corinth had performed for Athens, and
the importance of showing gratitude to one's friends.
▪ Needless to say, The Athenians were offended by the
Corinthian ambassador by his subtle way of asking them
to feel guilty about past generosities. The Athenians
could have cared less and allied with the Corcyrans.
Tariq Al-Basha @ albashatariq@outlook.com 4

5. 2. DON’T BE
TRAPPED IN
YOUR OWN
WANTS AND
DESIRES
▪ Do not start from the assumption that the people
you are appealing to have a selfless interest in
helping you. Don’t talk as if your needs matter to
people—they probably could care less, especially
referring to larger issues: a great cause, or grand
emotions such as love and gratitude when simple,
everyday realities would have much more appeal.
▪ When the Dutch began to arrive in Japan in great
numbers, Ieyasu, the Japanese emperor, was much
relieved. He needed Europeans for their know-how
in guns and navigation, and here at last were
Europeans who cared nothing for spreading
religion—the Dutch wanted only to trade. Ieyasu
swiftly moved to evict the Portuguese who were
desperately trying to convert the Japanese people
to Catholicism. From then on, he would only deal
with the practical-minded Dutch. Japan and Holland
were vastly different cultures, but each shared a
timeless and universal concern: self-interest.
Tariq Al-Basha @ albashatariq@outlook.com 5

6. 3. DON’T
CONFUSE YOUR
NEEDS WITH
OTHERS
▪ Once you make people see how you can in some
way meet their needs or advance their cause,
their resistance to your requests for help will
magically fall away. At each step on the way to
acquiring power, you must train yourself to think
your way inside the other person's mind, to see
their needs and interests, to get rid of the screen
of your own feelings that obscure the truth.
Master this art and there will be no limits to what
you can accomplish.
Tariq Al-Basha @ albashatariq@outlook.com 6

7. ▪ Believe it, or not, there are people who are not motivated through cynical self-
interests. These are people who thrive on opportunities to display their good heart.
They prefer to be able to exercise charity, mercy, and justice, which are their ways
of feeling superior to you:
▪ Because of their superior position, if you ask this person for help, you emphasize
their power and position. The only requirement from you is that all of this is done in
public, the more pubic, the better. It is truly their pleasure to give and to be seen
giving. They are dying to fund your project, to introduce you to powerful people—
this is the wine that intoxicates them.
▪ You must have the wisdom to distinguish the differences among powerful people
and figure out what makes them tick. When they ooze greed, do not appeal to their
charity.When they want to look charitable and noble, do not appeal to their greed.
Tariq Al-Basha @ albashatariq@outlook.com 7