This document appears to be assessing flooding, a concept in relationships where one or both partners experience intense negative emotions during conflict to the point that productive discussion is impossible. It contains two 51-item questionnaires, one for men and one for women, that assess the frequency of flooding behaviors in a relationship like feeling attacked, bringing up past faults, losing control of emotions, disagreeing more as discussion continues, and feeling empty after arguing. Respondents rate each item on a scale from always to never and scores over 75 indicate flooding is occurring in the relationship.

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14. FLOODING QUESTIONNAIRE FOR MEN
For each item, circle the appropriate box.
Item 1=
Always
2=
Almost
always
3=
Some-
times
4 =
Almost
never
5 =
Never
1. I feel attacked when my partner gets angry 5 4 3 2 1
2. Our discussions get to the point where we
start bringing up each other’s faults
5 4 3 2 1
3. I feel closer to my partner after we talk
over differences
1 2 3 4 5
4. My partner raises her voice when she airs
a gripe
5 4 3 2 1
5. My partner sulks 5 4 3 2 1
6. I just don't understand why she has to get
so upset
5 4 3 2 1
7. One of us says something that settles
things down
1 2 3 4 5
8. My partner discusses problems in a calm
and logical manner
1 2 3 4 5
9. My partner makes me feel foolish for
getting so upset
5 4 3 2 1
10. After we fight, I want to keep away from
her for awhile
5 4 3 2 1
11. I have to calm down my partner 5 4 3 2 1
12. Our discussions get very heated 5 4 3 2 1
13. My partner gets more upset than
necessary
5 4 3 2 1
14. I understand her point of view better after
she gets upset
1 2 3 4 5
15. I feel like it's my fault when she gets
upset
5 4 3 2 1
16. We don't stick to the issue and end up
arguing about all sorts of things
5 4 3 2 1
17. It really puts me on edge when my
partner’s temper gets going
5 4 3 2 1
18. I rely on my partner to be the sensible
one in the family
1 2 3 4 5
19. I try to get my partner to face the
situation logically
5 4 3 2 1
20. There's no stopping my partner once her
temper gets going
5 4 3 2 1
21. Suddenly small issues become big ones
and we’re in a big argument
5 4 3 2 1

15. 22. I take it personally when my partner gets
sad
5 4 3 2 1
23. My partner keeps her emotions under
control
1 2 3 4 5
24. She brings things up I did wrong in the
past
5 4 3 2 1
25. I try to get her to stick to the issue 5 4 3 2 1
26. I can tell when a big fight is coming 5 4 3 2 1
27. My partner doesn't see need for talking
about our feelings
5 4 3 2 1
28. I feel kind of cold and empty after an
argument
5 4 3 2 1
29. Things get out of hand pretty quickly 5 4 3 2 1
30. I try to stay away from my partner when
she’s in bad mood
5 4 3 2 1
31. She responds to my complaints with
complaints of her own
5 4 3 2 1
32. My partner's feelings are too easily hurt 5 4 3 2 1
33. I have to be careful not to say the wrong
thing
5 4 3 2 1
34. I get frustrated because I can't figure out
why she’s so upset
5 4 3 2 1
35. The more we discuss things the more we
seem to disagree
5 4 3 2 1
36. It's hard to get a reaction out of her 5 4 3 2 1
37. I don't know what to say when she gets
very upset
5 4 3 2 1
38. My partner makes me feel like she
understands my point of view
1 2 3 4 5
39. We keep arguing till one of us just walks
away
5 4 3 2 1
40. My partner is too rational 5 4 3 2 1
41. My partner gets hysterical about the
smallest things
5 4 3 2 1
42. I can’t reason with her when she gets
very upset
5 4 3 2 1
43. My partner tries to solve problems
quickly without much discussion
5 4 3 2 1
44. My partner drags me down when she’s
upset
5 4 3 2 1
45. Things build up to where I feel like
leaving
5 4 3 2 1
46. It takes a long time for me to get over an
argument
5 4 3 2 1
47. My partner offers practical solutions to
problems
1 2 3 4 5
48. My partner is too stubborn to
compromise
5 4 3 2 1
49. I feel uncomfortable when she brings up
a complaint
5 4 3 2 1

16. 50. Her blowups seem to come from out of
nowhere
5 4 3 2 1
51. The smallest thing can lead to a big fight 5 4 3 2 1
Scoring: Add up all the numbers you circled for each item. That is your total
score. Scores range from 51 to 255. If you scored greater than 75, you are
flooded.

17. FLOODING QUESTIONNAIRE FOR WOMEN
For each item, circle the appropriate box.
Item 1=
Always
2=
Almost
always
3=
Some-
times
4 =
Almost
never
5 =
Never
1. I feel attacked when my partner gets angry 5 4 3 2 1
2. Our discussions get to the point where we
start bringing up each other’s faults
5 4 3 2 1
3. I feel closer to my partner after we talk
over differences
1 2 3 4 5
4. My partner raises his voice when she airs a
gripe
5 4 3 2 1
5. My partner sulks 5 4 3 2 1
6. I just don't understand why he has to get so
upset
5 4 3 2 1
7. One of us says something that settles
things down
1 2 3 4 5
8. My partner discusses problems in a calm
and logical manner
1 2 3 4 5
9. My partner makes me feel foolish for
getting so upset
5 4 3 2 1
10. After we fight, I want to keep away from
him for awhile
5 4 3 2 1
11. I have to calm down my partner 5 4 3 2 1
12. Our discussions get very heated 5 4 3 2 1
13. My partner gets more upset than
necessary
5 4 3 2 1
14. I understand his point of view better after
he gets upset
1 2 3 4 5
15. I feel like it's my fault when he gets upset 5 4 3 2 1
16. We don't stick to the issue and end up
arguing about all sorts of things
5 4 3 2 1
17. It really puts me on edge when my
partner’s temper gets going
5 4 3 2 1
18. I rely on my partner to be the sensible
one in the family
1 2 3 4 5
19. I try to get my partner to face the
situation logically
5 4 3 2 1
20. There's no stopping my partner once his
temper gets going
5 4 3 2 1
21. Suddenly small issues become big ones
and we’re in a big argument
5 4 3 2 1
22. I take it personally when my partner gets
sad
5 4 3 2 1
23. My partner keeps his emotions under
control
1 2 3 4 5

18. 24. He brings things up I did wrong in the
past
5 4 3 2 1
25. I try to get him to stick to the issue 5 4 3 2 1
26. I can tell when a big fight is coming 5 4 3 2 1
27. My partner doesn't see need for talking
about our feelings
5 4 3 2 1
28. I feel kind of cold and empty after an
argument
5 4 3 2 1
29. Things get out of hand pretty quickly 5 4 3 2 1
30. I try to stay away from my partner when
he’s in bad mood
5 4 3 2 1
31. He responds to my complaints with
complaints of his own
5 4 3 2 1
32. My partner's feelings are too easily hurt 5 4 3 2 1
33. I have to be careful not to say the wrong
thing
5 4 3 2 1
34. I get frustrated because I can't figure out
why he’s so upset
5 4 3 2 1
35. The more we discuss things the more we
seem to disagree
5 4 3 2 1
36. It's hard to get a reaction out of him 5 4 3 2 1
37. I don't know what to say when he gets
very upset
5 4 3 2 1
38. My partner makes me feel like he
understands my point of view
1 2 3 4 5
39. We keep arguing till one of us just walks
away
5 4 3 2 1
40. My partner is too rational 5 4 3 2 1
41. My partner gets hysterical about the
smallest things
5 4 3 2 1
42. I can’t reason with her when he gets very
upset
5 4 3 2 1
43. My partner tries to solve problems
quickly without much discussion
5 4 3 2 1
44. My partner drags me down when he’s
upset
5 4 3 2 1
45. Things build up to where I feel like
leaving
5 4 3 2 1
46. It takes a long time for me to get over an
argument
5 4 3 2 1
47. My partner offers practical solutions to
problems
1 2 3 4 5
48. My partner is too stubborn to
compromise
5 4 3 2 1

19. 49. I feel uncomfortable when he brings up a
complaint
5 4 3 2 1
50. His blowups seem to come from out of
nowhere
5 4 3 2 1
51. The smallest thing can lead to a big fight 5 4 3 2 1
Scoring: Add up all the numbers you circled for each item. That is your total
score. Scores range from 51 to 255. If you scored greater than 75, you are
flooded.