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9 ways to reduce stress and be happier
- 2. 9 Stop Routines of Low Stress People 2 9 Ways to Being More by Doing Less (and the 9 keys to harmony)
- 4. 4 Listen without prejudice Stop Arguing
- 5. 5 Stop Giving Your Unsolicited Opinion
- 6. 6 Keep quiet ‘till you’re asked Stop Giving Your Unsolicited Opinion
- 7. 7 Stop Reacting When Others Speak Angrily
- 8. 8 Let them own it! Stop Reacting When Others Speak Angrily
- 9. 9 Stop Requiring Perfection of Yourself & Others
- 10. 10 C A N I Stop Requiring Perfection of Yourself & Others
- 11. 11 Stop Trying to Please Everyone
- 12. 12 Please Yourself Stop Trying to Please Everyone
- 13. 13 Stop Trying to Make Everyone Like You
- 14. 14 Love Yourself First Stop Trying to Make Everyone Like You
- 15. 15 Stop Grieving About Past Mistakes
- 16. 16 Start creating your life Stop Grieving About Past Mistakes
- 17. 17 Stop Worrying About The Future
- 18. 18 Live in the now Stop Worrying About The Future
- 19. 19 and Start Doing Stop Researching & Analyzing So Much
- 20. 20 Ready, Fire, Aim. Stop Researching & Analyzing So Much
- 21. 21 Be More by Doing Less
Editor's Notes
- The desire to reduce stress (or be calm) is a common goal for most people. We are so entrenched in our routines, habits, and ways of doing things we rarely stop and consider new ways of dealing with the stresses of daily living. You can ‘Be More’ by setting up how you are going to respond to stress creating events in advance. In other words, you are making a decision based on your desire to reduce stress & increase harmony in your life. Your goal is to set up new ways of handling issues that bring about stress because of the negative emotions that they create. Here are 9 routines you can actively use which – with a little practice – will reduce your stress and increase your harmony.
- Arguing is a waste of time. No one ever really wins. If you win an argument, the other person feels slighted and annoyed by you. If you lose, you feel this way about them. Be More by being a person who does not argue. You do this because you recognize the senselessness of arguing and your desire to reduce stress in your life. Choose instead to be a peaceful warrior.
- The peaceful warrior accepts the reality of the situation. People may have a different view of the world to you and they just want to be heard. So hear them, try to understand and let them know you get it….even if you do not agree with them. You can hear the other person without having to give up your position. Usually when someone has been fully heard all the steam has been let off and they will be better able to listen fully to you!
- Closely related to arguing is the compulsion to give your opinion when you haven't been asked for it. People instantly become resistant and defensive when someone gives their unsolicited opinion. There's a fine line between giving your opinion and offering a suggestion in a situation where some serious damage might occur. In these situations, I have found that asking carefully worded questions about the issue of concern works best. Be More by being a person who doesn't give your opinion unless you're asked for it emphatically. You do this to improve your relationships and reduce stress in your body.
- Unsolicited advice is rarely gratefully received, however when someone comes to you seeking then you have an open recipient for your ‘wisdom’. Give from your heart, use your head and keep your ego out of the equation. Be aware that less is more! Give just enough to fulfill and not so much to overload. They’ll ask again if they need more.
- When people talk angrily about something, our tendency is to react to their anger by getting tight, defensive, and stressed. Unless the anger is directed at us, there is no logical reason to react this way. You are not responsible for the other person's anger, & no-one else is responsible for causing or getting rid of your anger. If someone insists on vocalizing their anger about something, don't allow yourself to be drawn into it. Be More by being a person who does not react to another person's anger. Do this knowing that it will reduce stress in your body and protect your health.
- People are usually angry because they have an unmet need. They ain’t getting what they really want and sometimes they don’t even know what they want so give them the space and time to express their anger and just be ready to help when they are ready to receive. It’s not your anger, it’s theirs so be respectful of that and let them enjoy it.
- Unless you are nature then Perfection is an impossible objective. In reality, the drive for perfection gets in the way of creativity. By all means aim to be and do the best you can with what you have right now but do not kill yourself when the outcome is just pretty good.....to some people it just might be perfect! Giving up the need for perfection is a clear-cut way to reduce stress. Be More by being a person who doesn't require perfection, knowing that it's a fool's quest.
- Tony Robbins advocates this method of CANI….Constant and Never Ending Improvement. Continuously strive to improve yourself, your environment and others. Only when they want it…not when you think they need it! Brian Tracey says: Get good, get better and be the best you can be. Perfection is unrealistic, continuous improvement is realistic.
- Trying to please everyone is insanity. If you consider all the variations of personalities, likes & dislikes of people, it should be obvious that trying to please everyone is impossible & a waste of time. If you were to just focus on pleasing yourself, the other people around you would reap the benefits because you'd be more fun to be around. If you are constantly in a frenzy trying to please everyone around you, it's unlikely that you'll be in good spirits. Be More by being a person who does not try to please everyone. Do this knowing it will lift the weight of the world off your shoulders and reduce stress in your life.
- Please at least one person in everything you do and make sure that person is you. When you please yourself without hurting others and without holding onto any guilt or shame you fill yourself up with joy and happiness because you are meeting deep needs you have for living the way you desire. When you are full, the next step is overflow and when you are overflowing with joy and happiness everyone gets some, everyone experiences more joy and happiness.
- Do you like everyone you meet? No one does. Knowing this, why should you expect everyone to like you? Many of us have the most trouble with this when it comes to family and friends. The hard truth is that sometimes your relationship with certain individuals will never be as close as you want or need. So, find other people to achieve the closeness you desire. When we join a group that participates in an area that we identify with strongly we expect to have an easier time of getting along with the members. In many respects, you will, but personality differences will still be factor. If you join an organization with broader objectives like a fitness club as opposed to a vegetarian group, you may find more people that you get along with well. Be More by being a person who does not try to make everyone like you, but rather a person who loves themselves first and is happy just being yourself. Do this understanding the impossibility of being liked by everyone and to reduce stress in your Life.
- Hey! If you don’t love you then how can you expect anyone else to? When you like and love yourself you feel really good about who you are being and others will notice and want to be near to you. They’ll want to know your secret for looking, feeling and being so happy and the simple answer is to start by accepting who you are, loving what is and if you choose to change some things about yourself then love the process you are going through and the person you’re becoming.
- Grieving about mistakes you've made in the past is a clear waste of time. The only possible outcome is that you'll feel depressed in the present! And when you feel depressed, you greatly reduce your ability to take constructive action today that will improve your future. If we hope to make the most of the present, we must be in the best possible state of mind. To do that we must keep our focus in the moment and on what we want to experience. When we think about the things we want, we bring about positive feelings that will energize us rather than depress us. Be More by being a person who doesn't grieve about mistakes in the past but rather rejoices in what you have today and what you intend to manifest in the future. Do this knowing that by not grieving about past mistakes you reduce stress and increase the likelihood of positive results in the future.
- Past mistakes are just that. They are in the past….nothing you can do to change them. They are mis-takes…just like in a movie. They may make it into the ‘out-takes’ so we can all have a laugh. They do not make it into the final cut do they? So why would you hang onto them in this movie of your life you are creating? Focus on what you want and take the action needed in each moment to make it happen and have fun doing it.
- By worrying about what might happen in the future, we actually create the conditions for manifesting it. Most things we worry about never come true. According to the Law of Attraction, it takes a lot more negative thoughts to bring about bad results than it does to manifest positive outcomes. This explains for me why most of what we worry about never comes true. Worry is a waste of time. It's also very damaging to your physical and mental health. Be More by being a person who doesn't worry about what might happen in the future, but rather a person who imagines living the future that they desire in the present. Do this knowing that according to the Law of Attraction, you bring about what you think about & it will reduce stress in your life.
- There really is no future or past, there is only this moment and you can only make an impact here and now. You cannot change the past so do not spend anytime there (unless you are seeking to refresh a lesson learnt before moving quickly on). The future has not happened yet so you cannot make changes there. You can only do whatever you can with whatever you have right now! So do it …. now.
- Researching and analyzing things in order to make the best possible decision is a good practice if it leads to a timely decision to act! If the research and analysis goes too far and decisions are postponed, this is a stress-producing problem. The person who does no research makes decisions blindly, so little courage is required. The person who researches and analyzes things to nth degree usually lacks the courage to make decisions. The person who does a predetermined amount of research and analysis, makes timely decisions based the information at hand and their gut feelings, which requires considerable courage. The best practice then is to model your style after the people in the centre of the continuum. Be More by being a person who does a predetermined amount of research and analysis and then makes a timely decision based on the information gathered, gut feelings, and courage! Do this knowing that it will reduce stress and improve your productivity.
- An alternative idea to Ready, Aim, Fire…..the slow way is to take your time getting your target clear in your sites, checking the environment for possible problems and making adjustments you think will work and only when you have everything just right do you fire! Another faster and more effective way is to see the target you want and fire at it right after you decide to go for it….. Look for your results right away……This way you can see how close your shot was and then all you do is adjust a little, fire again, check outcome, adjust and fire. The immediate feedback you get tells you exactly what you need to do to get bang on target … quickly.
- If you think about the people in your life you admire, many of them are probably being more by doing less in a way similar to that which I am encouraging. These routines will reduce stress, increase a calm approach to life, enhance your health, and earn the respect of others.