This document discusses lessons learned from Dr. SarahBeth Hartlage's experience as both a physician and a mother of a child with serious medical issues. It covers three main topics: 1) collaborating with medical providers by recognizing when you have expertise as a parent but also deferring to medical expertise; 2) communicating with your spouse and family by designating a point person, controlling the narrative, and being specific about how others can help; and 3) strategies for self-care such as finding community support, meditation, getting outside, and prioritizing basic needs like eating and sleeping. The overall message is about balancing advocating for your child with caring for yourself during difficult medical situations.

1. Medical Mom:
When Your Child is The Patient
SarahBeth Hartlage, MD MS
Assistant Professor
University of Louisville
Department of Anesthesiology and Perioperative Medicine

2. Disclosures
 No Professional or Financial Disclosures

3. Lessons from the Other Side of the Bedside
 Unfortunate expertise forged through years in the
NICU/PICU
 Daughter born at 28 weeks with diagnosis of single
umbilical artery and severe IUGR + undiagnosed severe
CHD, severe CLD, intestinal malrotation, etc
 Initial NICU stay 202 days, including 5 major surgical procedures and many
minor
 Multiple subsequent PICU stays, sometimes for months at a time
 11 days into chief year of anesthesiology residency –
graduated on time

4. Lessons from the Other Side of the Bedside
 Collaborating with your child’s medical
providers
 Communicating with your spouse + your family
 Strategies for your self-care

5. Meet Camille

6. Collaborating with Your Child’s
Medical Providers

7. Recognize when YOU may be the
expert in the room…and when you
may not be.
You are always the expert on the
intricacies of your own child.
Subject Matter Expertise

8. Keep Your Own Records – Yours Will Be
Better (Even if They Use Epic!)

10. Communicating with Your Spouse +
Your Family

11. Remember: You and Your Spouse are
on the SAME Team

12. There is NO SUCH THING as Normal in an
Abnormal Situation

13. Control. The. Narrative.
 Designate a point person
 Social media  not
required!
 Answer when you
want…decline when you
don’t

14. People Want to Help You – Be Specific
“Pick up my dry cleaning on Tuesday.”
“My lawn needs to be mowed.”
“I need help with transportation for Jane’s soccer schedule.”
“Dinner on Thursday would be great.”
“I have everything I need right now, but
could you call back and check on me next week?”

15. Strategies for Your Self-Care

16. Find Comfort in Your Community

17. Guided Meditation, Mindfulness,
Reflection, & Breathing

18. I Personally These Tools:

19. Things That Should Go Without Saying…
 Eat something that didn’t come from a vending machine
 Sleep in your own bed, or at least not in a chair,
whenever possible
 Go outside at least once a day
 Shower on a semi-regular basis
 Dress – not up, but in real clothes…but also,
give yourself permission not to when you need it

21. You cannot handle this alone.
Get help when and where you
need it.
 Find a board certified
psychiatrist and a licensed
therapist
 National Suicide Prevention
Lifeline:
 1-800-273-8255
 Online Chat

23. Thank You!
sehart05@Louisville.edu
@SBHartlageMD