1. Procrastination as an Art
Russell Grenning
I was goingto write thispiece acouple of monthsagobut, well,youknow thingskeepgettinginthe
way – thingslike lookingoutthe window atnothinginparticular,inspectingmytoenailsandgetting
mildly stressedabouthairgrowingoutof my ears.
You will be surprisedatthe numberof people whothinkIama procrastinator.One of these daysI’ll
tell themtotheirface justhow wrongtheyare.
In fact,whenitcomesto doingsomethingIlike totake my time,give the matterseriousthoughtand
the fullestconsideration,weighthe options,take appropriate advice,explore variouspossibilities,
mull overpossible strategicdirections,thinklaterallyand“outsidethe box”and,above all,notrush
to judgement.Thisisnotprocrastination,itisbeingprudent.
Thenagain,I have to realise thatwhenall issaidand done,more issaidthandone.PerhapsIam
somewhatof a procrastinatorbutI believe thatthatisa positive characteristic.Imeanyouhave to
agree that procrastinationgivesyousomethingtolookforwardtoand we shouldall have a good
reasonto getout of bedeverymorning.
Actually,Ihave perfectedprocrastinationtoafine art.I’m so goodat it now that I can evendelay
procrastination. Icouldnotagree more withMark Twainwhoonce said, “Never putoff until
tomorrowwhatyou can putoff untilthe day aftertomorrow.” Ithinkthat’swhat he said – well fairly
sure – butperhapsI shouldlookitup laterjustto be reallysure.I’ll thinkaboutit,ok?
My motherhasalwaysbeenonmy case about mytime management andtime usage skillsandshe
still is.Infact, she saidthat I wouldn’tamounttoanythingbecause Iwaste somuchtime.I quite
rightlytoldheronlyrecently tojustwaitbecause Iam only65. I’ve gotlotsand lotsof time todo
anythingIlike andif I like doingnothingthenthatisnotprocrastination,itisthe resultof a
deliberatedecision.
Thenagain,perhapsI have wasteda bitof time here andthere overmylife.I’ve done acalculation
and have workedoutthat I wouldonlybe 37 if I deductedthe amountof time spentdoingnothing
overmy lifetime.Iseemtorememberthatthe formulathatI usedto make thiscalculationwasthe
brainchildof some Americanacademicwhosettoworkdevisingitatthe age of 28 and whopretty
much hadit all wrappedupwhenhe was 72. Youhave to admire hissingle-mindeddedicationand
seriousapplication.Nowwhatwashisname?I’ve writtenmyself alittlenote tolookitup later.
I’mreadinga bookwhichI boughtwhenitwas publishedinAugust,1964, called “Rush to
Judgement”byan Americanlawyer,MarkLane,whichisa critique of the Commissionof Inquiryinto
the assassinationof PresidentKennedyinNovember,1963.The Commission’sreportwasreleasedin
September,1964, soMr Lane obviouslydidn’twaste anytime writinghisbook.
In fact,Mr Lane constructeda vastconspiracytheoryaboutthe assassinationandhasbeencriticised
for,well,rushingtojudgement.Criticshave saidthatif he hadindulgedinalittle more mature
thought,hisbookwouldhave beeninfinitelybetter.If Iwashim, I’d still be writing,checkingfacts
and rewritingjusttogetit right.

2. I’ve readsomewhere thatprocrastinationcanleadto – or, wasit, causedby?– stress,a sense of
guiltandcrisis,lowself-esteem,healthproblems,aseriouslossof personal productivityandsocial
disapproval.
Now,I don’thave anyof these andneverhave whichgoestoprove that I am not a procrastinator.
Once,I wasmonitoredbysome social scientistorwhoeverovera9am to 5pm workingdayand the
outstandingresultwasthatI hadput in 2.8 hours of solid,real work.AsI wiselyobservedatthe time
to thisperson,foolsrushinwhere angelsfeartotreadand all of that.
So that’sthat. I wasgoingto write 2,000 words onthe subjectbut,heck,Ican expandthislater.I
thinkI have a free dayin earlyApril nextyear.Nopromises,mindyou.
By the way,I have toldyou mylatestprocrastinatorjoke?
I’ll tell youlater.