2. A perspective to consider
Conflict is necessary for all life. Conflict is the
opposition of wills, principals, or forces. It is part of our
biology, our psychology and our daily lives…see conflict
as a function of nature instead of pretending that it’s a
punishment.
~Terry Dobson
3. Ways of Viewing Conflict
• Magnifiers - People who see all conflict as equally
threatening
• Misperceivers - People who misperceive conflict You don’t see the whole
– Type 1 - Sees conflict where there is none iceberg
– Type 2 - Incorrectly reads the conflict situation
• Failed Perceivers - People who don’t see it coming The ballplayer who doesn’t
see the block back on punt
cover
• Clear Perceivers - See the situation clearly, see it as a
function of nature, see it for what it is not what it appears
to be.
4. 4 Rules to Perceiving Conflict Clearly
1. Take the past into consideration
2. Be on the look out for questions that are really statements.
E.g., Are you sure you should be doing that? Means I don’t
think you should be doing that.
3. Observe the person’s face (especially the eyes), manner,
breathing, posture, etc.
4. Listen carefully to what is being said and, just as important, to
what is not being said.
5. 6 Options to Conflict and their Symbolic Shapes
1. Push back, fight back, attack back Attacker
Attacker
You
Yo u
2. Withdrawal u Yo
You
Negotiation
Attacker requires two
Adversary
circles after
3. Negotiate the initial
stage
otherwise
You You
there is no
Attacker negotiation.
4. Do nothing, ignore
Like
You negotiation
Attacker
but deception
adds the
element of
5. Deception untruth for the
You sake of buying
time.
Attacker
Like a
revolving door
6. Blend (Confluence) you turn and
move with the
You direction of
the attack
