1. Weirdoes! Cute The Ryman Legacy Chapter 3A – Family Holiday! Girl! Nothing like family love – if you have it… Pervy Guy! By Mzyra

2. “Y’know Birch, with all the kids doing so well at school and the extra money we have coming in… maybe we should take them on holiday? As a treat?” “Hmm, you may have a point. We can have the house renovated while we’re away! We can finally separate the twins!” “And Nicola and Terry can have their own bedrooms…” “And we’ll finally have more than one bathroom!” “With actual walls!” “You have such good ideas, Carla…”

3. It was a normal morning in the Ryman household. Nicola was testing out her ability to cook… and failing a little…

4. Marina and Sean were getting on well (unlike some people…)…

5. And Kimmy had everything she needed in life…

6. As well as a little brother. “C’mon play with me, Kimmy!” “Urrrgh…”

7. “What makes you think I’d ever want to play with you, you little messy brat?! I don’t even want to touch you!”

8. “B-but Kimmy…” Terry’s sweet little face had won over many people before Kimmy.

9. “Oh, all right… Hey, I’ve even got something in my pocket, come see…” “What, I can’t s-”

10. “Blargh!” “AHHHH!”

11. “Ahahahahahahaaaa! You should have seen your stupid terrified little face just now! I can’t believe you fell for that, you idiot!” “I- I wasn’t scared, I was just playing along!” “Oh yeah, sure. Like you don’t need to change out of your pyjamas right now…” “No I don’t!”

12. Luckily for Birch and Carla they were oblivious to their children’s squabbles at that moment, being rather distracted with other things…

13. But the holiday was considered a good idea and so the family left at once (despite the fact that the school bus was right there).

14. N: “Kimmy was kicking the back of my seat for the whole flight! It was horrible!” K: “Shut up Nicola, no I wasn’t…” C: “Calm down kids, we’re here now…” K: “I want a tent to myself!” M: “Don’t worry Kimmy, I’m sure no-one will complain about that…” K: “Shut up Marina!”

15. For anybody wondering how a family that’s been traditionally so poor can afford a holiday, this is why. Free accommodation, fairly cheap food (along with two grilled cheese sims who can feed themselves) and flights that aren’t too expensive – barely costs anything in the end.

16. Though it did mean some people weren’t very impressed. S: “What’s this place meant to be? Where’s our hotel? Where are the TVs? The saunas? The beds, even?!” N: “We can barely afford those things at home Sean, how were we going to be able to have them on holiday?” S: “Yeah, but… this sucks…”

17. Marina was a lot happier with the situation, though. “It’s so pretty and back to nature… One day I’m going to come here with Nery and our children…” If you weren’t interested in hearing about love and/or Nery Jayapalan, Marina wasn’t the most fun person to hang out with these days, truth be told.

18. There were one or two fun things to do around the campsite, but the kids weren’t too impressed. N: “I wish we had a TV. That would be way more fun than fishing.” T: “You ever hear of something called a cinema? They show TV-like programmes, but they last for hours…” N: “Wow…”

19. The other form of fun was deemed unsuitable for children. It should also have been deemed unsuitable for teens with less than 5 nice points or with long-running anger issues. K: There should be more axe-related games in the world. Ooh, like that circus act where they throw knives at someone strapped to a rotating board! We should definitely try that some time… S: Must not throw axe at twin sister…! So hard to resist…!

20. The locals were friendly. And weird. Mostly weird. And, like everyone, somehow magnetically drawn towards Carla – probably due to her classy, definitely non-mountain, looks. “And then you beat your chest and yell!” C: “Aw, well isn’t that nice, you strange mountain man. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have 5 children who are getting into trouble and I have to look after. But they’re still more normal than you. No offence or anything.”

21. N: “Yes! Look Terry, I caught a fish!” T: “Yeah, so did I. But I think my fish is a little bigger than yours…” N: “Oh my gosh, it’s like as big as you are!” T: “Yeah… Um, what are we supposed to do with them now?” N: “… I don’t know. Give them to Mum, she’ll put them in her luggage or something!” They thus gave their fish to Carla, who sold them rather than have all her clothes smell like fish. You can’t really blame her.

22. Sean was still hurting from Opal rejecting his attempt at a first kiss (not helped by Kimmy’s permanent insistence on bringing it up and teasing him about it), so he had his eye out on prospective holiday romances. He was in luck, though Margaret Turner’s hairstyle was painfully reminiscent of Opal’s… But she was still very, very cute.

23. Meanwhile Kimmy decided to take on her annoying, tubby little brother in log rolling – he was so out of shape, she was bound to beat him easily. Then he might get pneumonia and suffer in hospital. And then she could laugh. A lot. Good times.

24. T: “That was fun, but now I’m hungry so I’ll go get some food…” K: *Bubbles*

25. “How the heck did that tubby little so-and-so manage to knock me off? Grrr… I’ll get him back for that…” It probably would have been better for Terry just to let Kimmywin: hospital’s more fun than an angry Kimmy.

26. Sean was having a much better time talking to Margaret, despite the rain. Maybe this holiday could be a good thing, especially if he got a girlfriend out of it. Maybe Margaret would go to one of the universities back home, even…

27. Sean was so wrapped up in his conversation with a cute girl that he didn’t even notice another teenage girl walking by. If Opal noticed Sean, she gave no sign of it.

28. T: “And wouldn’t it be cool if there were like aliens and other paranormal stuff? Vampires, witches, werewolves…” M: “Have you been reading my Twilight books, Terry?” T: “No… Why, do they have aliens?!” N: “No, they’re romance books about vampires and stuff… I liked Jacob better though.” M: “Oh Nicola, you just don’t understand the way Bella feels about Edward-” T: “So back to the aliens-”

29. N: “Hi Daddy!” B: “Hi Nicky, having fun?” N: “There’s not much to do… And it keeps raining all the time.” B: “Ah, don’t worry. Besides, the rain is the best time to sing and dance, don’t you know?” N: “I want a boyfriend to dance with like ‘Rina does…” B: “No, you don’t want to get mixed up with boys Nicky, boys are silly and not good enough for you. You can stay as your Daddy’s little girl for a while longer, can’t you?” N: “I guess I can for you, Daddy.”

30. Weird guys are creepy about Carla in any place, at any time. It goes without saying.

31. N: “Terry, you’re going to get your clothes all wet and muddy. I don’t get how you can stand to get so dirty, I’d be grossed out.” T: “Well I don’t understand how you can see a puddle and not want to jump in it, whether it makes your clothes dirty or not. It’s just so much fun!” N: “You’re silly, Terry.” T: “Well you’re silly because the rain’s making you wet anyway. So there!”

32. Back to the campsite, Sean’s life had brightened considerably. He’d held a long conversation with a very cute girl and now he’d caught a fish half his size. And he had yet to have to talk to his twin. Bliss!

33. B: “See, I knew this was a great idea of yours, love.” C: “You really think the kids are enjoying it?” B: “As much as they can enjoy anything. In fact, they’d probably enjoy it more if they didn’t have their parents around all the time, spoiling their fun. Speaking of which – I suppose you recall that we never actually had a honeymoon…” C: “We can’t let the kids go off on their own, Birch! Even if I do like what you’re suggesting…” B: “The kids will be fine, Kimmy and Sean are old enough to take care of themselves and Marina will like babysitting the others… You know you want to…!”

34. More creepy guys perving over Carla. Naturally. There could be a whole chapter of weird guys (and the occasional weird girl) checking out Carla. Luckily there will not be.

35. And thus the family spent their first night in the tents, from a rather early time due to jet lag. Sadly for Marina, the parents thought it would be better if Kimmy shared with her and Sean got his own tent, but that just meant that she waited until Kimmy was asleep before bothering to get in.

36. She could have shared with Terry though in the end, since Nicola randomly opted to sleep in a hammock, braving the possibility of rain. Apparently Terry snores and that was more annoying than the increasingly cold temperature.

37. Since they went to sleep so early, it was still dark when they woke up. And Birch still had his ‘late honeymoon’ idea on his mind… It was sweet and romantic for them both-

38. But maybe not for others. S: “Ewwww.” K: “My eyes, they burn!” M: “That is not something I need to see.” S: “This must constitute child abuse…”

39. B: “Hey Marina, how do you feel about babysitting the kids? You know, take them out somewhere fun…” M: “Can’t you just wait until they’re in bed?” B: “… They don’t exactly look sleepy to me. Look, you must understand: your mother and I never really got any chance to just be a married couple, you came along so fast- and we don’t regret that at all, but…” M: “I know Dad, but you really expect me to be able to look after Nicky and Terry and stop Sean and Kimmy killing each other, all on my own?”

40. B: “Honey, if you want to be a parent with quite a few children of your own one day, you’ll have to be able to deal with problems like these. There’s no better way to get that experience than by babysitting now.” M: “Well… I guess I can then. I can get Sean to help me out a bit maybe…” B: “Great! Just take them out for a few hours and we’ll see how it goes. If anything starts going horribly wrong then you can always come back, but… knock on the tent before entering, okay?” M: “Yeah, I’m going to ignore what you just said and go anyway before the mental scarring starts. Bye Dad. Come on kids, we’re going out!”

41. And so the children headed off – in the middle of the night and in a strange part of the world – with a sense of excitement and responsibility, though Kimmy was naturally moaning about it.

42. B: “Ah, after so many years, we’re finally child-free for a few hours. The joy of teenagers, eh?” C: “Do you really think we can do things in a tent without anybody being able to tell?” B: “Oh Carla, who really cares? Soon we’re going to get to the point when we’re officially that age where nobody can ever tell us what we’re supposed to do. I say we start early, while we can enjoy it to our full potential…” C: “Oh Birch!”

43. For the children it quickly turned out that there wasn’t all that much to do in Three Lakes, though. Unless you had a thing for carved wooden statues. Or chunks of trees. Or whole trees. Anything that involved wood and you’d be set. Otherwise… M: “You don’t think they actually have bears here do you, Sean?” S: “I don’t know. But if they’re only this big I think I could take one. And Kimmy could probably scare one off just by looking at it.” K: “Damn straight!” S: “Yeah, because you’re so ugly!” K: “I’m not the one who got rejected, loser!” M: *sigh*

44. The younger kids managed to locate the only child-orientated thing in the whole area, though and found it quite beneficial. Both Nicola and Terry were very – possibly overly – nice so had never not gotten on, but since Terry had only just become a child before they left, the two hadn’t been friends, but between fishing and swing sets and general playing… “You’re my bestest friend, Nicky!” “You too, Terr.”* *This wasn’t true for their elder siblings because they’d been permanently bringing other children home and making friends, but for the younger kids all the other school children had already been conquered by their older siblings, leaving them only with each other, which was sad, but also sweet.

45. “Oh look. A giant log. The excitement I feel in my heart right now is almost too much to take. Oooh, there a guinea pig plague that killed a load of people, that’s interesting… And now I’m bored again. This place sucks. They don’t even serve grilled cheese…”

46. T: “Sean, why are you punching ‘Rina? I thought violence, especially against girls, was wrong?” M: “It’s just a game, Terry. He’s not punching me properly…” S: “Yeah. See, she’s fine.” M: “Just… Never play with Kimmy, okay?” N: “Is it possible for somebody to punch your arm right off?” M: “… I don’t know, but I expect that if anybody’s going to try it, Kimmy will.”

47. At that specific moment, however, Kimmy was not engaging in mild (or otherwise) violence, but had found something else fun to do. “Ahhhhh, cheese… You can never buy enough… Now what’s happened to my annoying siblings?”

48. This was wrong somehow, Kimmy mused. Okay, five children didn’t split evenly, but she shouldn’t be the one left out – she was a twin FFS! Yeah, the little brats would naturally be together at the moment, but… Sean should be left out. Or Marina. Marina wasn’t a twin, Sean was the only teen boy… Somebody ought to be paying her attention. Not that she wanted to pay anybody else attention… Maybe that was why she should get a boyfriend. Not because she liked them, but because they could love her and get nothing in return! It actually made sense! But there were no boys here who weren’t creepy old men and this park was lame. K: “I’m bored, we’re going somewhere else!”

49. “I am a certified genius. Admit it, or I’ll kick you all out.” *Mumbled agreement* The hot springs had been a good idea, but it wasn’t particularly fair that Kimmy acted like she’d invented them. Marina would have brought them there eventually…

50. But Marina wasn’t in the mood for an argument. In the soothing warm water with her eyes closed she could imagine Nery was sitting next to her, enjoying them too… One day they’d be married and come there together. Maybe as a honeymoon, maybe with their own kids. But one day.

51. T: “I can’t believe we have this whole place to ourselves…” N: “Yeah, it’s amazing…” T: “Hey Nicky…” N: “What?”

52. T: “Race you around the pool!” N: “You’re on, little brother!” ~~~ End of Chapter 3A ~~~ Can a Ryman family holiday really remain this happy? Will Birch and Carla accidentally get pregnant again (*shakes fist*)? Is this all observation or is it actually going anywhere…? Find out next time!