1. O
ne of the most challenging
aspects of single motherhood or
single parenthood is adjusting
to situations that require the
opposite parent. In the musical “Mamma
Mia,” for example, Sophie takes drastic
measures to try and find her father because
she is getting married and wants her father
to give her away. It leads to a hilariously
entertaining menagerie of personalities, but
in reality witnessing that void isn’t always so
delightful.
Three years ago was my daughter’s
first year of school. She attended a pre-
kindergarten class and was very excited
about being in school. When spring rolled
around she brought home a flier for the
school’s annual Daddy-Daughter Dance.
She seemed very excited. “Can I go to the
Daddy-Daughter Dance, Mom?!” she asked.
“Maybe, I’ll have to ask your dad. We’ll
see,” I replied. At that point I wasn’t in doubt,
because I didn’t think it would be a problem.
I called him the next day and let him know
about the dance. He declined because, he
said, he didn’t really want to go. I didn’t talk
about it after that. A week before the dance,
my daughter brought it up again because
the girls at school began talking about it. I
told her she couldn’t go this time, but maybe
next year.
Kindergarten came and she brought
home the flier and just handed it to me
without saying a word. Again, her father
declined. I wasn’t surprised and didn’t hold it
against him; she didn’t seem that interested,
anyway. As it got closer to the night of the
dance she approached me about it. Irritated
and bothered by the situation, I kept going
over in my mind what I could do to fix this.
Part of me wanted to go up to the school
and ask them if I could go with her instead.
However, a friend made a valid point
that it may draw too much attention and
embarrass her in front of all of the other little
girls who were showing up with men. Plus, I
didn’t want to complain. I didn’t want to end
or suppress anyone else’s fun or memorable
time because I was a single parent. I just told
her I waited too late to buy the tickets.
The next year I didn’t get a flier. I didn’t
bring it up to her, but I did ask her father
just in case. He said no. I told him it was
okay because I wasn’t even sure if they were
having it. Later, I did see it on the school
calendar, but nothing else was said.
This year, my daughter brought home
the note. We have another man in our lives
and I’m not sure if that made the difference
or not, but she showed it to me. This time
I was nervous, but I asked my boyfriend. I
wasn’t sure if he’d do it and I wouldn’t have
been let down if he hadn’t. I understood the
situation. But he said yes! I almost cried and
had to make sure he was sure about it; he
was. A week later I told my daughter and she
was so excited. I couldn’t believe how eager
my little softball-playing tomboy was to get a
dress. It meant so much.
The night of the dance I dressed her up
in ribbons and bows and drove them so I
could take pictures outside the school. When
I came to pick them up I assumed they’d
be out early, but they weren’t. They actually
walked out a few minutes after with the rest
of the crowd with smiles on their faces. He
had made a difference in my little girl’s life.
My boyfriend had done something I couldn’t
do for her and did it selflessly. Sometimes
those little acts of kindness, and going to
those “silly little dances,” mean the world to
a girl. I’m not sure if all fathers get that, but
it does.
This year, I am immeasurably grateful.
April,2014 l o C a l C o l u M n MonroeCountyParent/Page 3
Daddy-Daughter Dance doesn’t always require Dad
mIKKI
moSCArA
Parent
columnist
“My boyfriend
had done
something I
couldn’t do
for her, and
did it selflessly.
Sometimes
those little
acts of kind-
ness, and
going to those
‘silly little
dances’ mean
the world to
a girl.“
Signups for the Maybee Day Baby
Contest have begun and will continue until
April 14 or until the eight spaces are filled.
Children age 3 and younger who live within
a 5-mile radius of Maybee are eligible.
The Maybee Day Festival will be May 17.
Baby contest registration can be done
at Maybee Branch Library,9060 Raisin St.
Parents must provide a photo that can be
reproduced,recommended size is 4 by 6
inches.The original will be returned.Voting
will be done by coin boxes,with boxes
rotated around various businesses in the
village.
All money will be the property of the
Maybee Day Committee.A $25 prize will be
issued to the winner,with prizes also for the
second- and third-place winners.
Win a prize!Got a cute baby?
For information,call the library at 587-3680.
Wewantyourphotosfor
ourspecialMother’sDayissue
We’re asking readers to send in photos
of kids with their moms in recognition of
Mother’s Day. Please include the names and
ages of the children along with the community
where they live. Photos can be submitted
three ways: dropped off at our downtown
office location at 20 W. First St., submitted via
e-mail at monroeparent.com/upload or sent
by mail to: Monroe County Parent Mother’s
day Photos, Monroe Publishing Co., 20 W.
First St., Monroe, MI 48161. Please include
your name and phone/e-mail as a contact.