The document summarizes the proceedings of two days of a student model UN conference. It provides highlights of debates in the Security Council and Economic and Social Council. Key topics discussed included fighting terrorism, the Ebola crisis, sustainable energy, and addressing issues like HIV/AIDS and access to food and water. Delegates from various countries expressed different perspectives and occasional humor was mixed into the serious discussions.

1. UN-believable: Reports, Quotable Quotes and much
more! Peruse for a fit of giggles.
Executive Board:
Priya Subramanian
Krupa Maria Varghese
Abhijit Gupta
Kalyani Subbiah
Padmapriya
Govindarajan
Madhav Gopal
Viswajith Venugopal
Vedanth Nair
World Press:
Bhargavi S
Isha Bhallamudi
Theertha Raj
Merrin Abraham
Omkar W
Zainab U. F
IITM Mini-MUN 2014-15

2. Security Council Report: Day Two
ECOSOC Report: Day Two
Page 2 IITM Mini-MUN 2014-15
Delegates found
various ways to
make their plays.
And Pokemon refer-
ences.
The first session began with the delegate of USA suggesting the motion to open with a
roll call to continue the previous session’s agenda on fighting terrorism. The USA also
stated its policies and clarified its stance on the agenda. Then the delegate of Iraq
stepped up in the GSL. He asked for air-strikes via drones but also said that he didn’t
want any direct military invasion (to avoid any civil war). After a heated discussion on
drones and bombs, the delegate of China motioned for an unmoderated caucus. The
committee then authored the resolution. Following this, the SC delegates offered
decent competition to the ECOSOC delegates by making it difficult for the EB to
maintain decorum. There were violent gestures involved. The delegate of Israel
motioned to introduce the resolution, which was then sponsored by China, Russia and
Iraq. The delegate of Palestine then called for a moderated caucus to discuss
everyone’s opinion and several delegates made amendments. The delegate of Ghana
remained at the forefront in this regard and spent his efforts correcting grammatical
errors while also expressing his concern at the EB not accepting amendments in soft
copy. Iraq argued for social balance while the USA wanted a different military plan. The
Palestinian delegate added a clause which was easily passed by the sponsors. The
delegates being hungry and increasingly inactive, the session was adjourned with the
resolution yet to be passed
After roll call, the committee began the session by talking about the food crisis. The US
argued for privatization as the solution to all food-related crises. A motion for a moderat-
ed caucus on HIV/AIDS and other diseases was passed. The issue of legalization of drugs,
and increasing access to contraception, was brought up in this regard, with the USA
claiming that new drugs in existence are because of privatization. Afghanistan brought up
the point that access to drugs to treat HIV/AIDS is costly for developing nations, and
urged the developed nations to help increase their access to drugs and spread awareness
about contraception. New Zealand suggested increased regulation of the private sector.
Egypt agreed with Afghanistan in saying that developing nations lack the funds to tackle
the issue effectively, commended India on its humanitarian aid, and suggested that other
countries do the same. Japan then intervened and said that the issue of safe drinking
water was more important at the moment. Italy concurred, emphasizing that safe storage
and transportation of drinking water in developing nations was a key issue. Motions to
gag the delegate of Germany were brought up from time to time throughout the session.
Germany was finally gagged as he deviated from the topic at hand to make his point that
sports were an integral part of education. Germany continued to make allusions to Nazism
as when, during the emergency, he confidently asserted that Germany had nothing to
fear from Ebola due to “superior genetics.” The session moved into unmoderated caucus
at 10.35 am, discussing, among other things, the issue of good mosquito nets, prompting
the EB to ask, “Do you really want a UN resolution on mosquito nets?” (No issue is too
trivial for the committee to take up, clearly.) The delegates googled sample resolutions
and began drafting the resolution until the session broke for lunch.

3. Afternoon Session, Day One: Security Council
The afternoon session started off later than expected, at 1:30pm, due to the late arrival of
China , Iran and Sri Lanka. Russia and Sierra Leone spent the spare time sending violent
anti-capitalist cartoons to France and Canada. The delegate of Libya’s motion to extend
the last session on women’s reproductive was passed followed by the motion on
‘’Sustainable and alternate energy matters’’ raised by the German delegate. It was around
this time that the Egyptian delegate figured out that chits had been sent around in his
name calling Russia a ‘Communist Pig’ and made frantic claims on the attempt to defame
him. China, Norway, India , Libya, USA and Japan took part in the caucus, citing the im-
portance reducing CO emissions, and shifting to cleaner and renewable energy sources.
Russia was highly offhand and stated that they had enough forest cover, low population
density and that sustainable energy wasn’t an issue of the moment for them. The E.B.
passed Afghanistan’s proposal for a caucus on the need to ratify the Kyoto Protocol and
implications of countries pulling out of it. Most delegates cited suffering economies and
other priorities for pulling out USA’s questions on the practicality of the Protocol induced a
heated Libya to call a PPE on ‘how would he to expose the hypocrisy of the American dele-
gate in front of an audience”. The committee next put forward a motion to discuss how
Education was a solution to achieve the Millennium Goals. Germany talked about the
waiving of tuition fees in colleges in his nation, which made Libya retort by citing the im-
portance of availability of primary education over tertiary. Canada cited their impressive
literacy statistics while DPRK made a memorable statement.
“Our nation despite our issues, has almost 99% literacy rate. We’re doing well.”
China wanted to pass a motion on cannabis, which was shot down by the E.B., amidst
Libya’s comments of China wanting to form a ‘joint committee”. Russia’s motion on
‘Political instability as deterrent to the Millennium Goals’ got passed, with Libya vouching
that whatever part of the country the government controls agrees. Japan and India also
stated their opinions, while the delegate of Russia had the last word. He said that Libya
was a meaningless country, and the only solution for political instability is by powerful
countries taking over smaller countries. The Secretary General then gagged the delegate
of inciting hate with his comments and the session ending there thankfully.
Page 3Issue II
Too many witti-
cisms. Sigh. We
should have given
out more awards.
And passive-
aggressive threats.
The afternoon session of the security council began with Iraq’s motion for a moderated
caucus to discuss opening strip clubs and bars to combat ISIS. The motion actually
passed, and Russia promptly offered to supply free vodka to Iraq’s proposed clubs and
bars. While China said that alcohol could be used as a chemical weapon, Ghana offered
to supply chocolate/cocoa to said bars and clubs. No one denies that cocoa is a more
soothing drink than even alcohol, of course. The discussion then moved to more serious
solutions to target ISIS, which had taken over oil refineries in Iraq and Syria and was
using the proceeds from black market sales of the same to fund its organisation. The
possibility of military intervention was discussed, along with that of land reclamation.
The committee concluded that military aid would be given Iraq according to its require-
ment, and not in excess. After an unmoderated caucus to discuss a working paper on
Iraq’s problem, the committee reconvened without a clear-cut resolution. China recom-
mended an embargo on ISIS refineries, Germany was all for military intervention, and
the US, saying that “desperate times call for desperate measures” called for increasing
the monitoring of the borders of the neighbouring countries of Iraq. Incidentally, the
title of the paper of the US-UK bloc was “Alpha Q.” If the significance of that does not
hit you, try saying it out loud.
Afternoon Session, Day One: ECOSOC

4.  Russia on dealing with a crisis involving Ebola: "We must show Ebola
that we mean business. We do not negotiate with diseases."
 Libya on how to prevent HIV-AIDS: “You gotta wrap it before you tap it.”
 “This reminds me of a local Russian saying- ‘In Soviet Russia, the pov-
erty line falls on you.’”
 China on himself. “CHINA BE A MAN!”
 “Do you really want a UN resolution on mosquito nets?!” - Unknown.
 I’d like to call for an extension of the motion to gag Germany.” -
everyone.
Coz they deserve some too.
Chit Chat
Quotable QuotesExecutive Board:
Priya Subramanian
Krupa Maria
Varghese
Abhijit Gupta
Kalyani Subbiah
Padmapriya
Govindarajan
Madhav Gopal
Viswajith Venugopal
Vedanth Nair
World Press:
Bhargavi S
Isha Bhallamudi
Theertha Raj
Merrin Abraham
Omkar W
Zainab U. F
 The One Who is Most Likely to Cane: Krupa
 The One Who Packs the Biggest Punch in the Smallest Pack: Padma
 The One Who Always Looks Stoned: Madhav
 The Wise Old Man: Kalyani
 The One With the Best Russian-o-Palestinian Accent: Vedanth
 The One Who Got Strip Clubs Passed as a Motion: Abhijit
 The One Who Sang Taylor Swift Songs to China: Priya
OC Awards
Some more examples of the worst pick up lines seen in recent times.