Welcome to the Lighthouse Family Retreat family partner experience. This manual will be a resource and guide to maximize your volunteer experience.

1. Lighthouse Family Retreat
Volunteer Manual
Family Partner Manual
Summer 2015

2. Table of Contents
Welcome to Lighthouse 1
Our Program 4
Retreat Details 21
What to Pack 22
Commitments/Guidelines 23
Serving with Children 26
Retreat Leadership 27
FAQ’s 29
Retreat Family Selection Guidelines 30
Understanding Childhood Cancer 31
Preparing to Serve 35
Heart Preparation 36

3. Welcome to Lighthouse Family Retreat!
Founded in 1999 by a pediatric oncology nurse who witnessed the devastating
impact childhood cancer has on the entire family, Lighthouse Family Retreat is
dedicated to helping families living through this horrific disease. At each retreat,
Lighthouse’s goal is to invest in each member of the family, including siblings and
parents.
At Lighthouse, we offer fun, family-centered activities to help retreat families “feel
like a family” again. For children, time spent playing in a carefree environment is
essential. For parents, a daily group meeting called “Common Ground” provides a
safe place to share with others living through similar life challenges. Lighthouse’s
program is designed to bring joy to the child with cancer and their entire family.
With the love of our amazing Family Partners, Lighthouse helps a family continue
their journey with renewed strength, hope and love!
We create an environment for renewal by taking care of each family’s needs. Some
examples include: greeting the families as they arrive and helping them unload their
car, helping the families’ children through the meal line, carrying their beach
supplies to and from the beach, serving them so that they can focus on each other,
and pampering them, laughing with them, caring for them, listening and
encouraging them! HAVING FUN!
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4. Lighthouse on Location
Lighthouse Family Retreat’s full-time staff and offices are located in Atlanta, Georgia, but we
implement our retreat program along the beaches of scenic Hwy 30-A in Santa Rosa Beach,
Florida. With the help of on location staff and Family Partner leaders, we move and “set-up
shop” each week in rented or donated homes in different communities along Hwy 30-A.
At the beginning of each retreat, the Leadership team spends the first few days organizing and
getting our housing and venue situated. The food that we will eat arrives on location when we
arrive and is organized and put away by our Kitchen Summer Staff and Kitchen Lead. Our main
kitchen is usually located in one of our houses/condos, and we use other kitchens in units where
Family Partners are staying as needed. Often times, we’re eating and serving our meals outside,
on picnic tables and under pop-up tents.
Since we’re staying in vacation rentals in different beach communities, we’re surrounded by
families who are not a part of the Lighthouse program. We want to be very aware and respectful
of their space and vacation time. We’ll be using the same pools, lawn and beach that they’re
using. Please make every effort to keep the space we’re using as clean and tidy as possible. The
rental companies and fellow occupants are usually very aware of who we are and what we do as
an organization. We want to leave places in better condition than we found it. If you see trash,
even if it’s not yours, pick it up and throw it away. If one of our trashcans is overflowing, empty it
and find the nearest dumpster. If we move or rearrange pool chairs, make sure to move them
back the way you found them. Maintain an attitude of gratitude when interacting with anyone in
the community. We want to represent not only Lighthouse well, but who Lighthouse represents
well, our Savior. Thanks in advance for helping us in this way!
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5. What is a Family Partner?
Volunteers show up and fill a spot but Family Partners come alongside families to help
ease the everyday burdens of childhood cancer, providing them an opportunity to laugh,
reconnect, and find hope!
The role of a Family Partner may look different for everyone. Areas of serving include:
– Being paired directly with a family.
– Setting up different environments in order for families to regain a sense
of normalcy and fun.
– Preparing meals in the kitchen.
– Unifying the parents together in support.
It takes a team of Family Partners, willing to serve in every role
to provide a family a sense of relief and retreat away from the everyday struggles of
childhood cancer.
You will laugh hard, play hard and work hard. But at the end of the day, your
compassion, heart and service will have provided a family a much-needed opportunity to
laugh, reconnect and find hope in God!
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6. Our Program
Program Activities
Registration (Page 4)
Family Welcome (Page 5)
Morning Watch (Page 6)
Flip Flop (Page 7)
Common Ground (Page 8)
Conched Out (Page 9)
Meals (Page 10)
Evening Activities (Page 11-16)
Night Cap (Page 17)
Pampering for Retreat Moms (Page 18)
See You Laters (Page 19)
Sample Schedule
9:00 am Breakfast
9:30 am Morning Watch
10:00 am Flip Flop/Common
Grounds
12:00 pm Lunch
1:30 pm Conched Out*
6:00 pm Dinner
7:00 pm Evening Activity
** Refuel will occur at different
times throughout the week
*The remainder of the afternoon will be spent
resting, playing with the retreat families and/or
preparing for retreat activities.
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7. Registration
Registration or "check-in" is the retreat families' welcome to Lighthouse and introduction to you. Once we
"check them in", we will allow them to go to their house. Be sure not to take them to their house until the
family has completed the full registration process and their house is ready.
Who’s in Charge? Common Ground Leads, Flip Flop Summer Staff (Family Partner Lead to assist)
WOW:
We make a really great first impression!
HOW:
 We’re on time and ready to receive the families.
 Registration is organized and efficient.
 We follow the instructions of the retreat leadership.
Helpful Hints:
• Don’t wear your Lighthouse t-shirt until family registration.
• Greet the families warmly but don’t overwhelm them.
• If a family arrives early (before registration is ready), please find a Lighthouse staff member.
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8. Retreat Family Welcome
The Family Welcome is our time to kick-off the retreat our first morning together as a complete
group. Our host will welcome the families, teach our Lighthouse song, give a quick overview of
the week and then build enthusiasm for our week!
Who’s in charge? Host
WOW:
Families feel very welcomed and excited for the week ahead!
HOW:
 Have fun!
 Bring your energy and infuse excitement!
 Smile!
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9. Morning Watch
Morning Watch is a time for retreat families and Family Partners to gather for a time of worship and a devotional. It gives
us a chance to take some time to reflect on the majesty and sovereignty of God through His creation before we start
our day.
Our core values shared during Morning Watch:
Rest, Experience Joy, Restore Relationships & Find Hope in God
Who’s in Charge? Host
WOW:
We create an intentional time of worship to hear God’s truth.
HOW:
 Participate in the worship.
 Listen attentively.
 Create a distraction-free environment.
Helpful Hint:
• Families attending Lighthouse are facing one of life’s toughest challenges – having a child with cancer. Sometimes families
living through adversities develop an inaccurate opinion of God. Understandably they may have a misunderstanding of who
He is. We want Morning Watch to give us an opportunity to give these families a true understanding of His great love and
compassion for each of us, regardless of our circumstances.
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10. Flip-Flop
Flip-flop happens while the parents attend Common Ground. We’ll dance, sing a few songs, do crafts, have talent
show practice, swim and play games on the beach. The children (both retreat and Family Partner children) will be
divided into Flip-Flop teams based on age and gender. Every adult Family Partner is assigned to help lead a Flip
Flop group.
Who’s in charge? Flip Flop Summer Staff, Flip Flop Group Leader
WOW:
A fun environment with intentional relationships and carefree play. Every kid gets to be a kid!
HOW:
 Engage with all of the kids.
 Keep a watchful eye on your group at all time.
 Help prepare for the big Talent Show.
Helpful Hints:
• Remember to lather the sunscreen on yourself and the kids in your group! It helps to assign someone in your
group to this task, every half hour.
• Stay hydrated!
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11. Common Ground
Common Ground is a unique and special time for the retreat parents. It’s a time for connecting parents with a
common bond – living through the challenges of childhood cancer. During Common Ground, the parents have
an opportunity to share their story with people who are on “Common Ground” with them. Common Ground
provides a place of restoration and relationship building. The relationships formed during this precious time
often last well beyond the retreat. Common Ground is sometimes referred to as the “heartbeat” of the retreat.
Who’s in Charge? Common Ground Leaders
WOW:
Create an environment that will allow God and others to minister to the needs of parents.
HOW:
 Make sure the kids are having so much fun that they’re not even worried about where Mom and Dad are!
Helpful Hint:
• If you are on a team with a retreat child that is upset about being away from his/her Mom and Dad, and
you need to offer them something to engage them, we have some activities available like golf cart rides,
special crafts, snacks, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask the Flip Flop Summer Staff for help if you need it. It is
important that the parents can attend Common Ground without their children.
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12. Conched Out
Conched Out, much like it’s name, is where you get to take a little break. Conched out is for the retreat
families, the Family Partners and the staff.
Who’s in Charge? If a situation comes up during this time, contact your Family Partner Lead.
WOW:
Everyone gets the opportunity to unwind.
HOW:
 Rest!
 Do whatever refuels you. whether it’s putting on your PJ’s and taking a “real”nap (under the covers and
everything!), reading a book or hanging out at the beach, – whatever you do, just make sure it’s something
that recharges you!
Helpful Hints:
• Be sure to check in with your leaders to make sure there are no ‘last minute’things that need your help or
attention. Remember, we’re a team, nobody rests until everybody rests! Try to re-engage with your
retreat family mid-afternoon to make sure they don’t need anything.
• Typically, we don’t offer to keep retreat family kids during this time. If there is a special circumstance or
request to do so, please touch base and ask the Family Partner Lead first.
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13. Meals
Mealtime is an opportunity for the retreat families to be served in a unique environment… a time of sharing and
building friendships. Every meal is an event at Lighthouse and all retreat families and Family Partners are encouraged to
participate in each mealtime gathering. Adult Family Partners will each be assigned to a meal team and will serve on that
same breakfast, lunch or dinner team throughout the retreat.
Who’s in charge? Kitchen Summer Staff & Kitchen Lead
WOW:
Retreat families are given the opportunity to connect with one another over a meal.
HOW:
 Assigned meal team members arrive on time, and don’t leave until the meal is cleaned up.
 Retreat families always go through the line first.
 Offer families assistance through the meal line. Help carry plates, refill drinks, throw away trash etc.
Helpful Hints:
• If you’re bringing your children to Lighthouse, please remind them to let others go first and not to hover.
• Smile and go with the flow!
• If you see an empty spot, jump in with a family and have dinner!
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14. Evening Activities
Evening Activities - Get ready to have some fun! Our desire is to create a happy and relaxing
environment to engage the families in conversation, laughter and a good time! For retreats that
have a significant amount of “older” retreat kids, Midnight Munch will be offered for some age
appropriate fun…don’t worry it doesn’t really happen at midnight!
WOW:
A carefree environment where families connect and create new memories.
HOW:
 Make sure everyone is included and has an opportunity to participate in the evening.
Helpful Hints:
Our goal is for families to go to bed with a “happy heart”, a smile on their face and wonderful
memories that will carry them through their journey with cancer.
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15. Beach Picnic
The Beach Picnic is a fun night of fellowship for the Family Partners and
retreat families as we begin the process of really getting to know one another.
We’ll box up our dinners, grab a blanket, head to the beach and enjoy some
food and fellowship while the sun sets.
Who’s in Charge? Kitchen Summer Staff & Kitchen Lead
WOW:
A relaxed environment for retreat families and Family Partners to connect.
HOW:
Make sure to clean up your (and your retreat family’s) dinner and dispose of
the trash.
Enjoy this time with your retreat family and the chance to be a part of an
easy, carefree meal with them.
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16. Parent’s Night Out
Parent’s Night Out is the opportunity for our retreat parents to have a night out to enjoy each
other’s company and have a fun, relaxing time. For some parents, this will be their first time out
by themselves since their child was diagnosed. The Common Ground Leaders will accompany the
retreat parents to dinner.
Who’s in Charge? Kitchen Lead, Family Partner Lead
WOW:
Parents have a night out to recharge.
HOW:
Arrive at the retreat family’s house/condo on time.
Keep the kids engaged and excited for the night so they don’t mind that Mom and Dad are
leaving!
Eat a yummy dinner, enjoy lots of ice cream and play lots of games!
Keep a close eye on the retreat kids while they’re in our care.
Helpful Hint:
If you have a child who is upset that Mom and Dad are headed out for the night…call in
reinforcements. Your Family Partner Lead can come help make sure Mom and Dad make it to
dinner!
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17. Unbirthday Party
The Unbirthday Party is an opportunity to celebrate all the retreat children while their
parents are gone for the night during Parent’s Night Out. Often retreat children miss out
on celebrating their birthday, due to their treatment schedule or their siblings’ treatment
schedule. We want to make sure every kid gets a chance have a Happy “Un-Birthday”
while they’re at Lighthouse! We’ll eat ice cream, cupcakes, dance, distribute fun goodie
bags and play lots of fun games!
Who’s in Charge? Production Summer Staff
WOW:
A chance to celebrate every child!
HOW:
Make sure the kids are engaged, having fun and not even thinking about Mom and Dad!
Dance, laugh and smile!
Keep a watchful eye on your retreat children while they’re under our care!
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18. Unplugged Night
Unplugged Night is a time for the retreat family’s to get away, with just their family, to enjoy
some genuine “vacation” time. We’ll send them out with gift cards to have dinner, go shopping
or play games and restore their relationships. While the families are off reconnecting, we’ll
spend time praying for the families and reflecting on God’s faithfulness during the week so far.
Who’s in Charge? Your Family Partner Lead will be your point of contact. Our Host will direct the
night.
WOW:
For Retreat Families: Provide space for families to restore relationships without distraction.
For Family Partners: To spend intentional time in thanksgiving for our week and our opportunity
to serve.
HOW:
Spend time in prayer for our retreat families.
Fill up our retreat family Hope Jars with words of encouragement.
Participate as we share the ways we’ve seen God move during the week.
Be available to participate in any projects that need to be accomplished before the retreat
families arrive back on campus.
Helpful Hint:
You are on your own for dinner on this night, and will need to return to campus in time for the
worship night.
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19. Hollywood Night
Hollywood Night is every retreat kids chance to SHINE! We’ll dress up like our favorite
movie character, walk the red carpet and watch an AMAZING talent show!
Who’s in Charge? Host, Flip Flop Summer Staff
WOW:
A chance for every kid to shine and every parent to catch a glimpse of hope.
HOW:
Encourage every retreat child to participate in the Talent Show during Flip Flop each
day.
Work closely with the Flip Flop Summer Staff to prepare each act for the kids in your
group.
During the show, applaud and cheer like you’ve never cheered before!
Helpful Hint:
Some kids may be shy or reluctant to participate in the show (especially if they’re older.)
Offer to be in the show with them or do an act as an entire group. We want every parent
to see their kids on stage!
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20. Refuel
Nightcap is an environment for the Family Partners during the day to “take a deep breath”, be
encouraged, hear the vision and expectations for the next day and most importantly worship
our Father in Heaven.
Who’s in Charge? Family Partner Lead, Host
WOW:
To encourage you as you serve, to make sure you understand the plan for the next day and to
thank God for allowing us to be a part of His plan.
HOW:
 Show up with ears to listen and a heart to worship.
 Make sure your children sit on the floor near you and save the seats for the adults.
 Be on time for this special gathering where we “refuel” together.
Helpful Hint:
Pay attention to the daily schedule to verify what time this gathering will be each day.
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21. See Ya Laters
At Lighthouse, we don’t say good-bye, we say “See ya later.”
Who’s in Charge? Host
WOW:
With heartfelt sentiment we welcome the retreat families on arrival into our “Lighthouse Family”, in the same
spirit we send them home with many hugs, a few tears and the words, “See ya later.” While the miles may
keep us apart, our hearts are forever connected.
HOW:
 Arrive at your retreat family’s condo/house before See ya laters begin, to help them pack up their car.
 Listen to the instructions of the Host as we prepare to make our departure as a group.
 While we want to send our family’s off well, keep in mind that all homes will need to be checked out of as soon as
everyone leaves by the Leadership team, so we need to be mindful of the time and not encourage people to
“linger” after dismissal.
 Make sure that your unit, as well as your retreat family’s unit, is ready to be checked out.
Helpful Hints: Much like a mission trip, you will feel very connected to the families you’ve served. However, be
careful not to make promises to the families you can’t keep - even well intended ones. Of course, it’s OK to stay in
touch with your families, but please know that there is no obligation to do so. You do whatever is comfortable for
you and be blessed knowing that you have fulfilled your commitment to the Lord and to Lighthouse.
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22. Retreat Deets
Arrival: Check-in is between 5:00 and 6:00pm CENTRAL TIME. (Your Family Partner Lead will
provide you with details and directions.) You will receive your room assignments when you check-
in.
Sleeping arrangements: The retreat Family Partners will be staying in houses or condos together
near the retreat family houses. Family Partner families will be assigned to a room together
(children should plan to bring sleeping bags). Family Partners serving individually will be sharing
rooms with other same gender Family Partners. (If you are uncomfortable sharing a bed with one
of your roommates, please bring a sleeping bag/bedding.). We will do our best to make you as
comfortable as possible! Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Meals: The majority of your meals and snacks will be provided. If you have special dietary needs,
please contact us in advance so we can help you determine what food/snacks you may want to
bring with you. Monday lunch and Thursday dinner will NOT be provided. Breakfast is at 9AM
Central Time each day. If you and your family eat earlier than that, please plan to bring something
to munch on before breakfast.
Departure: We anticipate that everyone will be leaving by 11:00 a.m. on the last day. Please make
plans to stay at the retreat until you are dismissed by the Lighthouse Staff. We depend on
everyone’s help on our last morning together.
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23. What to Pack
- Comfy, casual clothes (shorts, t-shirts, flip-flops, etc. Please bring enough clothes for the
retreat. The use of laundry facilities will be limited because we will be using them to wash
our retreat families clothes, towels, etc.)
-Bathing suit/cover-up (Ladies, please bring a modest one-piece or tankini bathing suit.)
-Something colorful for the luau
-A fun costume of your favorite movie character
- Toiletries (including any over the counter medications, Advil, Tylenol, etc.)
- Bath towels (There are some towels in each bathroom.)
-Beach supplies (beach towel, chair and umbrella if you’d like)
-Sunscreen, beach towels
- Camera if you like to take pictures
- Watch
- Your Bible and a journal
-Sleeping bag/linens/pillow/etc. for those who don’t want to share a bed and for kids
-Sweatshirt and flashlight for the evening.
-Rain jacket
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24. Commitments to Lighthouse
I commit to…
• A deeper walk with Christ and will make it a priority to have consistent quiet time with God.
• Pray regularly for my team, the families we will serve, those financially supporting the retreat and for the
surrounding retreat community.
• Serve others above myself at the retreat, not only the families we are serving but my team, the staff and the
community.
• Raise $900/adult, $500/child ages 13-22 and $250/child 12 and under to support the retreat even if I decide
not to attend the retreat.
• Respectfully abide by Lighthouse Family Retreat Family Partner Guidelines.
• Attend the pre-retreat meetings scheduled for your team. Out-of-state Family Partners contact your team
leaders to receive all information covered in the meetings.
• Be a Godly steward at the retreat with the supplies and resources that are available.
(Many of the supplies are used at multiple retreats. It is important to put things away in better condition than
how you found it. Whether a supply is donated or purchased, costly or inexpensive, we want to take great care
to assure nothing is wasted.)
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25. Lighthouse Guidelines
If retreat families leave the facility to shop, sightsee or for any other reason, they must take all children under 21 years with them
- (even if they’re only going to be gone for a short while) The one exception to this rule is “Parent’s Night-Out”. Lighthouse Family
Partners are not allowed to drive Lighthouse families.
We expect all Family Partners to:
•Never be alone with a child or someone of the opposite sex. Always travel in groups of 3.
• Show common courtesy and respect for all retreat participants.
• Submit to the authority of the team leader(s).
• Seek to be sensitive to the culture in words and actions.
• Refrain from any activity/behavior that might be a stumbling block to our team or those around us.
• The consumption of alcohol or nicotine is not permitted by Family Partners. No smoking in ANY of the homes or common areas.
• Report any accidents/injuries or concerns to a Lighthouse staff member as soon as possible.
• Be on time and participate in all retreat activities.
• Maintain modesty in dress at ALL times. Adult and teenage ladies, please bare this in mind when packing for the retreat. We
want to dress to worship, not be worshipped. Only one piece bathing suits/tankinis are allowed for Family Partners. Retreat
Families are not held to these requirements.
• Come with a servant’s heart….always put retreat families’ needs first.
Privacy:
To protect the privacy of individuals attending the retreat, all names and situations are a matter of confidentiality and are not to
be shared with anyone else or discussed in a public place. Thank you.
Social Media Privacy: While you’re attending the retreat you represent Lighthouse, please be sensitive to that when using social
media platforms. Refrain from utilizing retreat family names and their detailed history.
Visitors:
Please let us know if you are expecting any visitors during the retreat. All visitors need to be pre-approved by Lighthouse staff.
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26. Guidelines Continued…
Swimming:
All individuals under 16 years of age must be accompanied & supervised by a parent at the beachfront/pool. No solo swimming
(beach or pool). There is no lifeguard on duty at the pool or on the beach. All retreat participants must abide by the following
“FLAG” guidelines::
Green Flag—Low Hazard (Calm Conditions)
Yellow Flag—Medium Hazard (Light surf and/or currents)
Red/Double Red Flag—High Hazard -ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IN THE WATER!
Other Policies:
•Lighthouse Family Retreat is a dry campus, no alcohol. Alcohol found in your possession is grounds for dismissal from the
retreat.
•No fireworks and/or firearms are allowed at the retreat.
•Sorry, no pets are allowed at the retreat.
•Lighthouse is not responsible for the loss of any personal property. Please keep valuables locked or with you during your stay.
There are no keys to bedrooms.
•Retreat families may not solicit ANY gifts or service from the Family Partners, donors or individuals in the community during or
after the retreat.
•Retreat families may not receive gifts or service apart from Lighthouse program during the retreat.
Post Retreat: If you formed a deep connection with a retreat family, we encourage you to stay connected! Please keep the
following in mind:
•After the retreat, small gifts may be given or reasonable acts of service may be offered/provided by Family Partners.
•Please notify Lighthouse if you learned of any needs your retreat family is struggling with….we have resources we can provide
them to better support them along this journey.
•If you learn of a retreat family in the hospital, please let us know. We would love to ensure we support them in ways we can
during a hospital stay.
•Want to share about your Lighthouse experience with others after the retreat? Let us know and we will make sure you have
access to some great videos, photos and materials.
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27. Serving with your Children
We encourage families to serve together at retreats; it’s a great way to foster a heart for serving! Children about 5-6 yrs old who
can
go through the meal line, dress themselves, play independently of you AND/OR are mature enough to understand our mission of
"other's first" are probably the right age to attend. We expect the children to attend our team meetings, etc. without distracting
others.
What is a Family Partner child’s role at the retreat?
• Play on the beach with the retreat children. Making sure all of the kids feel engaged and included.
• Help parents clean the family houses and turn down their families beds at night.
• Play and participate in Flip Flop groups.
• Exercise selflessness in all aspects of the retreat. (Last in meal lines, allowing retreat children to star in the Talent Show, etc.)
• BE KIDS AND HAVE FUN! Family Partner children help to make the retreats so fun for the retreat children. They love having
lots of new friends to play with!
What is a Family Partner parent’s role before and at the retreat?
• Lead by example and instill in your children what it means to have a servant’s heart.
• Know the location of your children at all times regardless of age.
• Enforce Lighthouse guidelines mentioned through out this manual. Help your children to understand each environment and
tell them the importance of behaving accordingly. They need to be quiet and attentive during Morning Watch and Night Cap,
and to laugh and play during Flip Flop and our fun evening activities.
• Make sure to read through the “Understanding Childhood Cancer” portion of this manual and share as appropriate with your
kids.
Please note: Family Partners/guardians are responsible for the actions of their children attending the retreat with them and should
be supervised by their parents at all times.
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28. Retreat Leadership Chart
*These roles are fulfilled by the Summer Staff during the Summer retreats.
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29. Leadership Who’s Who
• The Lighthouse Seasonal Staff Lead provides support to the Family Partner Leadership Team. The staff member is
present to assist with large schedule changes due to weather, emergency situations and injuries…
• The Lighthouse Summer Staff, comprised of college students, will be on hand at each retreat during the Summer.
Summer Staff have designated roles at each retreat to ensure a seamless experience for retreat families and Family
Partners.
• The Kitchen Lead and Kitchen Summer Staff coordinate with catering and serves meals to all retreat attendees, and
helps to provide an environment where families can reconnect.
• The Family Partner Lead equips and supports a team of Family Partners as they provide a way for families to laugh,
reconnect, and find hope.
• The Production Summer Staff prepares environments, along with a Production Team, and enriches the Lighthouse
experience, to provide families a restful retreat.
• The Common Ground Leaders communicate with the Retreat Families before the retreat, are their point of contact on
the retreat and facilitate the parent group meeting “Common Ground.”
• The Communications Summer Staff handles all logistical paperwork as well as serving as a media representative in the
sand.
• The Flip Flop Summer Staff provides fun activities and environments for children in retreat families, while providing an
opportunity for parents to connect.
• The Host sets the tone for each retreat and serves a variety of roles including: worship leader, emcee, participates in
flip flop groups and midnight munch.
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30. Frequently Asked Questions
What if I am afraid the retreat is going to be sad?
This is one of the most common concerns/fears for first time Family Partners. While the cause we serve is heartbreaking, the
retreat is filled with joy, hope and laughter.
What happens if it rains all week?
We pray for breathtaking sunrises, warm sunny days, starry nights, and mesmerizing sunsets. However, we believe that we
will do all that we can to prepare for the retreats and then let God do the rest. Sometimes a rainy retreat is exactly what the
families need. It slows things down and provides the pace that some families need to reconnect.
When do we find out what family we will be partnered with?
You will find out which family you are partnered with when you arrive at the retreat. Please understand there may be
changes in assignments as some retreat families have unexpected illnesses, etc. and are unable to attend their scheduled
retreat. Please also note that you may be partnered with another Family Partner family to serve one retreat family.
How can I help after I get back from the retreat?
Our most significant needs at Lighthouse are funding, recruiting retreat Family Partners and supporting families post retreat.
FUNDING: We are so grateful for your help in raising your Family Partner support. The ministry depends solely on private
donations along with the generosity and creativity of our supporters. If you would like to continue to help us raise support
or know someone who would, please visit our website for upcoming fundraising events/opportunities.
FAMILY PARTNERS: If you know someone who aligns with our mission and beliefs, please help us recruit them by sharing
your experience and encouraging them to serve.
CONTINUED HOPE: Open to mowing a lawn for a retreat family? Bringing a meal to the hospital? Please let us know and
when a need comes available we will let you know. Also, if you hear of needs at or after the retreat, let us know and we can
put a plan into motion!
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31. Retreat Family Selection Guidelines
• Children (18 years and younger) with cancer who are currently on therapy or have been off therapy for less than one year are
eligible to attend Lighthouse with their immediate family members who are living at home with them. (limited to 2 adults and
siblings under 21) There is no cost to attend the retreat.
• Each family is responsible for transportation to and from the retreat. Families may apply for The Stanley P. Thornell
Scholarship Program, a limited-need based transportation assistance program available to those whose financial circumstances
prohibit them from attending.
• Children must receive medical clearance from their oncologist. (Children should be in stable health and “feeling up to”
participating in our program.)
• Families are responsible for submitting a signed medical consent form to Lighthouse from their child’s Oncology team giving
medical clearance prior to attending the retreat.
• Each family must abide by the guidelines and sign the waivers/consent forms to complete the application process. The unique
bond of our “Lighthouse family” begins when we meet at check-in and the treasured memories multiply until our last “See ya
laters.” Because we want to start and finish the retreat as together as a “Lighthouse family”, we expect all families to arrive
during the specified check-in times and remain through the “See ya laters.”
• While we hope that one day we will host enough retreats so that each family can return annually, currently the number of
families we can serve is limited therefore we prioritize applications in this manner: Initially, priority is given to new applicants
attending for the first time. Second priority is given to applicants returning for a second time. All families applying to return for
a 3rd
time are automatically placed on a wait list and only offered a spot if one becomes available closer to the retreat date.
Throughout the selection process, sensitivity is given to the child’s progression of illness or other related hardships.
• All families are welcome – regardless of race, religious affiliation, financial status or geographical location.
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32. Understanding Childhood Cancer
• Some children have adverse physical effects and disabilities from their treatment - differences that cause them to get stared
at in public or even made fun of at school. One of the greatest gifts you can give them is not to pity what makes them
appear different but to embrace their uniqueness with compassion. Sometimes the children appear weak and delicate but
few children are too fragile to be held or hugged!
• Children with cancer want to be treated normally - they want to run and play like other kids their age even if it takes them a
little longer to get something done. Please be sensitive and aware as you serve that children with cancer typically don’t
want to be given “special treatment”. While they may have some limitations, celebrate their accomplishments with
authenticity.
• At the retreat, when we need to distinguish between a healthy child and a child with cancer, we identify the children with
cancer as “the children on (or who have been on) treatment”. If you are serving with your children, please make sure they
don’t refer to the children as “cancer” kids. Like all of us, the children we are serving want to be called by their name and not
be known or labeled by their disease.
• Childhood cancer has a devastating impact on the family. It causes emotional, financial, spiritual and relational strain. Our
Lighthouse program offers special attention for every member of the family. Understandably, the child with cancer often
becomes the focus of concern and this can leave the siblings feeling lonely, insecure and left out. As we befriend them, we
have the privilege and incredible opportunity to help restore their sense of significance and worth. For parents, the divorce
rate is astounding – far greater than those without the challenges of childhood cancer. By taking care of their daily
responsibilities such as cleaning, cooking, etc. and providing the family a “retreat” from their “battle”, we give the families a
chance to reconnect and restore much-strained relationships.
• If a parent shares their story with you, bear in mind that they are not looking for you to give them an answer. Sometimes a
shared tear or hug can ease their pain or show you understand more than any word you can offer. Someone who is genuine
and truly listens is an invaluable gift to them.
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33. Understanding Childhood Cancer
• Research has not been able to determine why children develop cancer. Survival rates for childhood cancer depend on
several factors: the type of cancer, the stage of the cancer when the child is diagnosed and the child’s response to
treatment. Overall, survival statistics for childhood cancer are greater than 70%.
• Many children undergoing treatment for cancer have a “port”. A “port” is an internal device/IV where children receive
chemotherapy and have blood drawn. You may see a small round “bump” under their skin located on their chest or
abdomen, which is their “port”. Typically, the “port” does not hurt when touched and the kids don’t mind explaining or
showing it to you.
• You may hear the term “ANC” (absolute neutrophil count). This word refers to the child’s ability to fight infection and is
determined in part by their white blood cell count. When a child’s ANC is <500, they are at greater risk for infection (the
lower the number, the higher the risk).
• Because of the medications that the children take for their cancer treatment, they can be extremely sensitive to the sun and
need frequent applications of sunscreen. We will have sunscreen at the beach, at the pool and available at Flip-Flop to
screen the children before going outside. Remember to apply liberal amounts of sunscreen even on a cloudy day.
• It is important for everyone to stay well-hydrated at the retreat. The children need extra hydration when they’re exposed to
the sun and wind. Please remember to make sure ALL of the children drink plenty of fluids. We will have water and
Powerade at the beach and in the common areas.
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34. Understanding Childhood Cancer
• Frequently used terms parents may use when explaining their child’s cancer journey:
Stages of Treatment
• Untreated (New Diagnosis)
• In Remission (Treatment was given and now WBC’s are in normal range)
• Recurrent (Treated, was in Remission and now the cancer is back)
• Refractory (Cancer is still present even after treatment)
Treatment Phases
• Remission Induction Chemotherapy (1st
stage of treatment that lasts 1 month)
• - Chemotherapy given to kill as many leukemic cells as possible to put child in remission
• Consolidation/CNS Prophylaxis (Lasts 1-2 months)
• Preventative treatment to prevent spread of cancer to brain and spinal cord
• High dose chemo & possible radiation
• Intensification Therapy (Lasts up to 9 months)
• Started once in Remission - multiple treatments that last 2 months each
• High dose chemo to kill any remaining cancer cells
• Maintenance Therapy (Girls: 2 yrs; Boys: 3 yrs)
• - Chemo given to keep child in remission
General terms
• Oral or PO – medicine is given by mouth
• Intravenous or IV – medicine is given in a vein or through child’s port
• Spinal Tap or Lumbar Puncture(LP) – procedure to collect and look at cerebrospinal fluid surrounding
the brain & spinal cord.
• Stem Cell or Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) - Replenishing the body with healthy cells and bone
marrow after chemotherapy and radiation to help the body produce new cells and attack any
remaining cancer cells.
• Secondary Effects – Side effects that occur due to Chemo or Radiation treatments
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35. Types of Childhood Cancer
• Leukemia is a cancer of the blood and bone marrow. The cancerous cells grow out of control and crowd out the healthy cells. There are 2,700
children diagnosed each year with Leukemia and it is the most common type of all childhood cancers. Two main types of leukemia:
Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL): The most common childhood cancer that affects 75% of children with leukemia. ALL is a cancer that attacks the
lymphoid cells in the bone marrow which are part of the body’s immune system.
Acute Myleoid Leukemia (AML): AML is a cancer of the myeloid blood cells which are produced in the bone marrow and help fight bacterial infections.
• Cancers of the Central Nervous System
Brain tumors: Most common type of solid tumor cancers. Brain tumors are named and classified according to their location on the brain.
Medulloblastomas, malignant tumors on the cerebellum are the most common.
Neuroblastoma: is a cancer of the sympathetic nervous system which most often originates in the adrenal glands above the kidney. They are the most
common type of cancer in children under 1 year of age. Many times this cancer has already spread before it is diagnosed.
• Sarcomas – Tumors of the bones and soft tissues
Osteosarcoma: the most common type of bone sarcoma. These tumors often are located at the growing end of the long bones of the extremities,
close to the joints. Osteosarcomas are usually a primary cancer (they do not occur from other cancers in the body).
Ewings Sarcoma: a bone cancer that often appears in the middle of the bone. Commonly found in the thighs, hipbones, upper arms and ribs.
Rhabdomyosarcoma: a soft tissue sarcoma that develops in muscles. Most often found in the head, neck, kidneys, bladder, arms and legs.
• Lymphoma is a tumor of the lymph tissues, which are part of the immune system. Types include:
Hodgkin’s Lymphoma: Cancerous cells which reproduce uncontrollably in the lymph nodes that are in close proximity such as the neck, shoulders,
chest and they remain localized. Affects 15-35 year olds and has the highest cure rate.
Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma: Cancerous cells develop in peripheral lymph nodes & tend to spread throughout the body. There are many types of
lymphoma, include Burkitt's, non-Burkitt's, and lymphoblastic lymphoma. This form of Lymphoma can have a poor to excellent prognosis.
• Other Types of Cancers
Hepatoblastoma: An abnormal growth/tumor in the liver.
Wilms tumor: A solid mass found in the kidney. Usually seen in children under 9 years of age. 90% survival rate.
Retinoblastoma: A malignant tumor of the retina (a thin membrane in the back of the eye).
Germ Cell Tumors: Tumors that appear most commonly in the testes, ovaries, area at the bottom of the spine (sacrococcygeal) and in the middle of
the brain, chest or abdomen.
The information above was adapted from www.Cureseach.org, www.hopkinsmedicine.org, www.childrenscancer.org,www.lls.org
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36. Preparing to Serve
How do I prepare to serve at Lighthouse?
• Begin to personally live out the mission of Lighthouse – practice laughing, make family relationships a priority, serve others
and spend time in fellowship with your Heavenly Father.
• Pray, ask God to give you a heart to serve.
• Get plenty of rest so that you are well-rested and ready to serve when you arrive.
• Make sure you have an understanding of the contents in this Family Partner Manual.
• We hope that over time you will take the opportunity to read and listen to each of the resources listed below. We believe
these books and messages are life-changing and will help you understand who God is and how to glorify Him with your life.
We encourage you to dive into this list and read or listen to at least one of them before you serve with us.
• Read through the following Heart Preparation pages. Reflect on the 4 qualities needed to be a Family Partner. Ask God to
instill these qualities in you. Put into practice the suggested ways to prepare your heart for the retreat.
Recommended reading
The gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
A Chance to Die, Elisabeth Elliott (a story of missionary service motivated by “Calvary love, dying to self”)
How Good is Good Enough, Andy Stanley
Called to be God’s Leaders: How God Prepares His Servants for Spiritual Leadership, Henry Blackaby
Holiness: God’s Plan for Fullness of Life, Henry Blackaby
Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby
Recommended messages (These can be found by searching the titles online.)
“Hope: When Life Hurts Most ” , 2-part series, Louie Giglio
“I Want to Be Great”, 4-part series, Andy Stanley and Clay Scroggins
“Simple” , 3-part series, Andy Stanley
“Facing Forward: Part 3 of Twisted Series”, Andy Stanley
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37. Heart Preparation
A Servant Heart
A heart to serve is something we’re called to have as Christians, demonstrated by Jesus himself,
who consistently leveraged his power and authority for others.
In John chapter 13, Jesus sets a great example for us:
“Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of
this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he
loved them to the end. During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas
Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given
all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from
supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. Then he
poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel
that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:1-5 ESV)
The moment when Jesus realizes that all authority on heaven and earth had been given to him,
his VERY next act was washing the disciples feet. He took on the very form of a
servant. The ultimate test of a servant heart is when you’re the most powerful person in a room
and you choose to leverage that power for the benefit of everyone else.
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38. Heart Preparation
A Positive Attitude
It’s not a secret to anyone, that while Lighthouse is fun, Lighthouse can be so tough. It’s
emotional, it’s hot, it’s ever-changing (because the Retreat Families’ worlds are ever
changing.) There will be many opportunities to grumble, complain, undermine maybe, but
our hope is that as Family Partners you’ll always choose to smile, believe the best and set
a tone of flexibility
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that
the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect,
that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4 ESV)
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39. Heart Preparation
A desire to build relationships
Lighthouse is all about relationships. As a Family Partner team, we choose to get into the
messy worlds the Retreat Families are living in, but not only are we committing to
developing relationships with them, and walking along side them during their journey, but
we’re committing to help EACH OTHER do just that. Brothers and sisters in Christ choosing
to do his work together, and in that, relationships are formed. As a Family Partner you’ll
be asked to build relationships with everyone on the retreat and to encourage that of
everyone else as well.
“For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say,
“Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a
part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to
the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an
eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would
be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of
them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there
are many parts, yet one body.” (1 Corinthians 12: 14-20 ESV)
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40. Heart Preparation
An ability to Adapt and Overcome
Lighthouse is made up of variables. From our retreat families and their chaotic worlds, to
our Family Partners, to our donated housing and meals, it’s almost inevitable that more
than one thing is going to change at the last minute. We ask that our Family Partners are
always prepared to adapt to whatever situation arises and ultimately overcome it as a
team.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will
have trouble. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 ESV)
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41. Heart Preparation
“He doesn’t call the qualified but qualifies the called.”
As you prepare to serve at Lighthouse please recognize that though many of our retreat families are living through similar
challenges with childhood cancer, they come from varied cultural, educational and social backgrounds. Also, they are
experiencing extremely different emotions, spiritual journeys and family relationships. Before you arrive and throughout the
retreat, ask God to make you keenly aware of other’s circumstances and wholeheartedly attentive to their needs.
As you can imagine some families living through adversities may question God’s goodness or that He cares about them, they
may even be angry at God. Our hope is that we can bring glory to God our Father, “to give a proper estimate of His worth”, to
help the families understand who He is and their significant value to Him. Spend time in personal reflection asking God to
reveal Himself and His character to you.
Families can feel their lives are spinning out of control and wonder if anyone (including God) can control or fix what is
happening. These families need people who will be understanding, not judgmental. They need to be surrounded by people who
are “living out” the love and compassion of Christ. Review the gospels and ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His
majesty, power and grace for those in need.
Be encouraged by these words:
“God calls His people to serve His children who are hurting. The Lord hears the cry of the poor and those who are sick. How
awesome that He would choose us when we feel so unqualified. But I know from experience that He doesn’t call the qualified but
qualifies the called. The road ahead is not without obstacles and suffering but He gives you the strength and the joy to
accomplish His work.”
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