2. An Idea
A woman who takes care about a household is in Poland a commonly called a
“kura domowa”. If one wants to draw a parallel one can call a man who does the
same: “kur domowy”. The English words "housewife” or “homemaker” does not
fully reflect Polish idioms, however the main idea of my project is to share my
experience as a man whose main occupation is caring for the family, managing
household affairs, and doing housework. Let me than call myself the Homemaker
- at least until I find more suitable expression.
The idea of taking care of home lasts since forever. In the 21st century, the age of
the new thinking, new technology and way of life, the man who does so as a full
time job is still probably rare. So, the idea of the taking care of the fireside by a
man is somehow an innovative way of thinking that breaks stereotypes and shows
constant changes in society. Today, does not matter male or female, we all have
equal opportunities in every area of life and activity, so looking after a home also
should follow the same rules. Such a way of living in my case was a conscious
decision, and this is just a one observation which I want to share with the world.
I hope that, I’ll manage to pass some on my experience, and the very idea of a
homemaker will spread and take on a new dimension in the contemporary world,
it becomes a kind of signum temporis of the 21st century. That is my dream.
The project is dedicated to my children, that I will always love.
3. For whom
The idea of the homemaker is really addressed to both parents. However, I want
to share my experience, knowledge and skills mainly with fathers who want to
take on this role or who want to become more involved in family life while not
giving up their careers.
A blog that I prepared is dedicated to small, daily routine which facilitates life,
and the experience is to help you look at a lot of things in a different way .
I know that sometimes small, usual things can hamper a proactive attitude, so my
advice shall make you enjoying the life disregarding those minor obstacles.
4. Inspirations
I have always dreamed to write a book . For a long time it seemed to be very
difficult to realize. However, in the twenty-first century we have a great platform
for communication and transmission of thoughts and ideas - the internet .
Formerly man had to write the book , print , distribute among readers. Today one
can do it, so to speak, in stages - through websites, instant messaging and blogs.
Printed form is still great, but for the beginner, the Internet provides better
opportunities of communication. So, I will use this opportunity to submit my ideas,
thoughts and experiences to readers.
A few years ago, a global corporation introduced for their employees a program
which activated men as fathers. The program envisaged the involvement of men
in the role of the father for the benefit of the society. I'm very impressed with this
company and their attitude (because the role of the father in the family should be
meaningful) and then I came up with the idea to get more involved in this role.
Now, after several years of experience in the role the Homemaker, I appreciate
the attitude of the company even more. I can also help other men to change their
attitude and to start looking at this issue from a different angle.
5. How it Happened
Up to 2006 I was as typical every male in his thirties. That is I was working, I
helped my wife at home with shopping, cleaning, childcare, which was actually
nothing special.
The breaking point was in 2007- when I lost my job and to get a new one I had to
make a hard decision: either I leave the town I was living in with my family to
search my luck somewhere else or I stay at home looking after our children while
my wife will continue her career.
Accepting a role of a homemaker when your wife is going to be a breadwinner?
One must say, its not the easy one especially for a man raised in traditional Polish
family, in which those roles were completely opposite. Although this decision was
dictated by many factors, the most important was the welfare of our children and
providing them with total care and support 24 hours a day.
So here we are. 2015 - and eight years old practice in running the household…
The man as the head of the family can and should take responsibility for their
loved ones at the various levels of life. Homemaking is hard and demanding work,
and children the most demanding employers. It does not bring measurable
financial benefits, but shows a husband and a father in a different role. One can
tell that this is a different perspective on the man. I'd like to see this website as a
source of inspiration and advice for families who want to adopt such a model of
life.
I wish every Father to experience so much joy, satisfaction and great moments,
as I have been feeling, what will surely make him sure that he has taken the right
decision.
6. Benefits
The Father
He is always with the children, plays with them, goes on tours, does shopping,
prepares meals, helps in learning, takes care when they are ill. He is available 24
hours a day and does a lot of other things that are even difficult to call. By doing
so he can to realize himself as responsible and loving man .
Children
They have full, 24 hours a day, care in case of any problems (health, school, etc.).
They receive a help in all aspects of their life - fun, food, tours, learning about the
world, science and many, many others.
At any time they can talk to their parent of any, even the smallest, issues and shall
receive an answer.
They are aware that their parent looks after them all the time, so they can freely
play and learn about the world.
You can take your them in any place which they dream on - naturally this will
depend on your financial possibilities.
They always have a something small to eat – ice creams, candies, yogurts, fruits
and other, on condition that these are harmless to their health.
A Marriage
The woman can develop her career and perfectly fulfill her ambition, dreams and
ideas. She can be fully flexible does not have to worry about the everyday life. She
is completely relieved from all these little things connected to raising the children,
and has a comfort to devote all her spare time to enjoy her motherhood.
At the same time the man can look at many things from another point of view,
raise his value as a human being who is open and modern. He can break down
stereotypes and realize the idea of equality in everyday life.
7. 4. By doing a job of the homemaker you can give pursue your dreams, passion
and professional goals as well.
The condition is that you are fully committed to your activity and you treat this as
professional work.
A self-discipline, organization of working time and consistency in achieving your
objectives are the keys to success. One should remember that in this sphere the
homemaker should keep an eye on all issues, because here you do not have a boss
that tells you what to do and motivates you to do the job.
In other words you must paddle your own canoe. You are also independent and
decision-maker.
It is worth remembering.
8. Duties
Economic:
Everyday shopping (fresh bread, meat, fruits, vegetables) and weekly (dairy,
yogurt, spices, cosmetics and other with a longer expiry date).
Preparing meals: breakfast, lunch to school, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner .
Caring for a balanced diet rich in all the ingredients necessary for a child's
health.
Daily cleaning: washing dishes, folding clothes and toys.
Weekly cleaning - once or twice a week thorough cleaning of the entire house.
The great cleanup - two or three times a year thorough laying in closets, cleaning
all surfaces, replacement of clothing (children quickly grow out of clothes, so you
want to have in cabinets current size), replacement of textbooks and exercise
books.
Health and Education
Help in studying - suggesting how to do a homework, supervise a study time and
organization of school time.
Assistance in checking the knowledge and skills before the test or class work.
Participation in all school celebrations upon invitation and in performances at
school and beyond.
Driving children to kindergarten, school and extracurricular activities.
Motivating to learn and develop their abilities.
Following the events at school.
Full care in case of illness of a child - doctors visits, watch timely dosage of
medication.
Adjustment of diet in case of health problems after consulting the doctor .
Regular visits to rehabilitation clinics or specialists if necessary.
9. Rehabilitation exercises at home under the guidance of a doctor.
Other resulting from the child's needs.
Exploring the world:
Visit to the playground.
Family tours in the city and surrounding area.
Reading books.
Playing together at home: blocks, puzzles, dolls, teddies, puzzles and other
invented by children.
Watching television and surfing the Internet.
Visits to art galleries, museums, cultural centers, etc.
Other resulting from the needs of the moment, for example: concerts,
celebrations, festivals, etc .
Paying attention, where they want to go and meet their expectations.
10. Schedule of the day
Schedule of the day makes all the duties are arranged in rhythm. One can execute
them efficiently and easily, and daily repeatability gives a sense of stability.
A sample of daily schedule:
6.00-6.30. - Wake-up. Getting ready for the day;
6.30-7.00. - Morning shopping: fresh bread, ham;
7.00-7.30. - Preparing breakfast for the family and second breakfast to
school;
7.30-8.30. – Driving/walking children to kindergarten/school;
8.30-9.00 - Breakfast for myself
9.00-10.00 - More shopping - products for lunch (vegetables, fruit,
household chemicals, school supplies);
10.00-13.00 - Free time;
13.00-15.00 - Preparing lunch;
15.00-16.00 – Pick-up children after school;
16.00-17.00 - Lunch, cleaning up after dinner (living room, kitchen);
17.00-19.00 - Help with homework, extracurricular activities or time to
play with children;
19.00-20.30 - Supper;
20.30-21.30 - Time spent with the children;
21.30-22.00 - Preparing to sleep (evening toilet, pajamas, evening
activities);
22.00 - Children go to bed. The Homemaker has a time to fall asleep in
front of the TV.
11. This schedule is just an example of arranging average day in the rhythm of
executing the tasks.
One need to keep in mind the huge self-discipline that everything worked
smoothly.
For a few months at the beginning of this work it is difficult to sort things out, but
after six months this rhythm becomes a habit, and life becomes easier.
Additionally, this a schedule for weekdays. On weekends and holidays, I suggest
to take meal times as a reference point and can carry out day in accordance to
them.
The most important element though, no matter what the duties are is to maintain
stability of the day. One should be reasonably flexible , because there are always
new things to deal. In this case, it is worth stick to meal times.
The essence of the schedule should be constant repetition of activities for children.
After a while they will begin insisting to repeat the routine.
12. VERY IMPORTANT
My wife supports my work very much and without her devotion and financial
support I wouldn’t be successful in my role.
I acknowledge this and I appreciate the burden she bears in our life.
Acknowledgments,
I thank my wonderful children - son and daughter – for their presence.
I thank my wife for daily efforts.
And finally thanks to R., my friend for his support.
13. PHOTO GALLERY
I’m a very proud father. Proud of my little ones. I’d like to share all the photos of
them which I've made more than 25,000 for the last 8 years.
However, in this gallery there are just the sketches, so the each parent can see
in these pictures his own kid. By doing so I hope every parent will have a chance
to imagine his family similar situations.
