Script Three Irish Lads & Some Dead Fella

Three Irish Lads & Some Dead Fella (Final Draft)
By Joseph Lane & Mark Flatley
Written by Joseph Lane
Black Comedy/Psychological/Betrayal
02/11/2015 Mobile: 0879388518
Email: joelane42@yahoo.com

1 EXT.MORNING.OVERCAST.NEWCASTLE WEST. 1
We begin with a series of montage shots fading into a
gloomy overcast breezy morning. the dead silence of town
square and the brushing of the wind blowing the trees back
and forth accompanied by an ideal crew flying away, "Awwk
awwk".
Dissolving slowly to the open view of a graveyard towards
the statue of our lady as we begin the opening with a
symphonic uneasy score.
As the titles commence the visual of blood drizzles down
our lady’s eyes fading into the apartment kitchen.
2 INT.MORNING.APARTMENT. 2
MS OF HOUSE EXT
LS OF KITCHEN
OTS ON NEWSPAPER
We see A short lad with short hair and a rugged black suit
with ripped black jeans and no tie sitting at the kitchen
table enjoying a morning cup of coffee reading an article
on the newspaper about a missing psychologist.
SLOW ZOOM OUT BACKWARDS FROM KITCHEN
OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT TOWARDS KITCHEN COUNTER
MEDIUM SHOT
Another lad walks into the kitchen built in stature
wearing construction workers overalls casually leaning
against the kitchen counter swigging his cup of coffee
CLOSE UP SHOT
LAD ONE
Hey Makey I just got a call from
work. One of the lads fell off
the scaffolding and broke his
leg.
lad two puts the newspaper down and gives lad one in
overalls a very happy smile. He responds in a playful
manner.
CLOSE UP SHOT
LAD TWO
awe the poor crater! Did you get
a picture.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (2) 2.
CLOSE UP SHOT
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
NO.. I did not get a
picture!Whats wrong with you...
besides the camera aint workin.
Makey pauses with a look of both disgust and frustration
at Macarrig. He takes a deep breath before responding,
speaking in a minimum tone before lashing out aggressively
smashing his morning cup of Joe to peaces of the table.
MEDIUM SHOT
LAD TWO
awe sure that’s the way. One
minute your taking photos of
every sort of thing and the next
you go head and drop it.. SMASHED
TO BITS. Is.. that what happened
did you drop it?
Pause
MEDIUM SHOT
MAKEY LOUIS
MACCARRIG!!
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
(Very agitated)
will you calm down its just a
Feckin camera!
CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
(furious/Explosive)
THAT WAS NOT JUST A FECKIN
CAMERA! ! THAT CAMERA WAS A
VISUAL CONSTRUCT OF EVERYBODY AND
EVERYTHING WE HOLD DEAR. THAT
CAMERA IS OUR EVERLASTING PEAR OF
EYES THAT YOU DESTROYED.
Mccarrig.. you just scared our
legacy.
MEDIUM SHOT
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
come again?
MEDIUM SHOT
MAKEY LOUIS
Think about it. When we die
people would have bin able to see
all the pretty things we saw.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (3) 3.
MEDIUM CLOSE UP
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
righhht... I see, You know
sometimes I think your head is
screwed on backwards our replaced
with a cabbage... You swear I had
sex with your dog last night.
That would’ve bin a pretty
picture
MEDIUM CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
(confused/delusional)
HEY you leave my sister out of
this.
MUDIUM LONG SHOT
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
are you def! I was talking about
your dog shit head.
MEDIUM LONG SHOT
MAKEY LOUIS
o you mean Nibbles ya.. Nibbles
the Pitbull! ... awe for god sake
how you suppose to manage that
tho? Before you could even get in
shed chew right through those
lower desirable s!
MEDIUM LONG SHOT
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
(giggling)
you are a sick fuck you know
that. i don’t know how i put up
with you to be honest.
MEDIUM SIDE CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
ooh. Is this Coming from the man
who only last week thought it
would be fun to rob a coffee
shop. Not that it was a problem.
Same principal.
MEDIUM SIDE CLOSE UP
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
Makey.. you and me both know we
needed that money our we were in
the streets. Now i was in a very
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (4) 4.
MACARRIG MCGOWAN (CONT’D)
good mood and as of now don’t
need your shit alright.!! Be
thankful I have a job...UNLIKE
the rest of ye layabouts.
Muttering under his tongue
CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
Christ you are clueless.
LONG SHOT
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
Whats that Makey. Speak up i cant
hear ya.
CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
I SAID Christ you are
clueless.I’m trying to help you
Macarrig
MEDIUM LONG SHOT
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
HELP ME DO WHAT? WE NEEDED THE
FUCKING MONEY ALRIGHT.!! end of
story.
MEDIUM CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
no no no THIS crap with you ends
here. you know .. very well that
i know that you know that is
complete and utter bullshit
MEDIUM CLOSE UP
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
Where you sniffing the petrol
again?
MEDIUM LONG SHOT
MAKEY LOUIS
NO! That was just the one time
alright. Why do you keep bringing
that up?
MEDIUM LONG SHOT
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (5) 5.
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
Because you know that shit messes
you up buddy
MEDIUM LONG SHOT
MAKEY LOUIS
Stop changing the subject. Shut
up and listen!! It was never
about the money Bud-dy. not for
me and not for you and whatever
to fuck what Johnny thinks
CLOSE UP
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
Speaking of shit heads where is
that tosser Johnny?
CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
Aww you know Johnny. Probably
gone of Gallivanting with those
hipster lads. No doubt smoking
the bit of Ganga as usual. Fecken
waster!
MEDIUM CLOSE UP
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
No doubt indeed..Well He better
come up with his share of the
rent when I come back our ill
toss him into the street faster
then his nickname suggests, Can
we wrap up this conversation up
in a hurry actually. I need to do
your mans shift at 1.
MEDIUM CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
Rito..like I was saying.. why
cant you just accept that its not
about the money. Its just the
thrill of it that pays your
satisfaction.
MEDIUM CLOSE UP
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
(confused)
What are you trying to say?
CLOSE UP
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (6) 6.
MAKEY LOUIS
I swear to god when you put that
gun to your wan the cashier lady.
I thought you had an orgasm. the
expression on your face was
priceless.
MEDIUM CLOSE UP
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
WHAT
MEDIUM CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
DON’T WHAT ME..you know exactly
what I’m talking about..
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
No I don’t know "exactly" what
your talking about. enlighten me
MAKEY LOUIS
huuu Maccarig I don’t know how to
tell you this but... you have..
um.. well what I’m trying to say
is that
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
Spit it out I’m in a rush!
MAKEY LOUIS
.. um that.. that word they use
for something you like sexually?
CLOSE UP
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
A fetish!! Are you saying I have
a Fuckin fetish?
MEDIUM SHOT
MAKEY LOUIS
That’s the one!. YES You have a
fetish for robbing coffee shops.
Maccarig waves his hand at Makey with a sigh and points is
finger at him giving him a warning
CLOSE UP
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
(Fed up and confused)
I’m heading to Work Makey.. You
better have that floor wiped when
I come back our ill wipe the
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (7) 7.
MACCARIG MCGOWAN (CONT’D)
floor with you. "fetish" ill
fetish you later you rech"..
Maccarrig leaves for work and as he walks out the door
Macy shouts at Maccarig. Maccarrig shouts back leaving the
house.
CLOSE UP
MAKEY LOUIS
ITS ALL MIND OVER MATTER
MACCARRIG. IF YOU DON’T MIND IT
DOESN’T MATTER. ACCEPT IT!!
LONG SHOT
MACCARRIC MCGOWAN
SEE YOU AFTER!
Maccarrig closes the door.
CLOSE UP-PANNING SHOT
Makey makes a suspicious smile turning his head slowly to
the closet.
FADE OUT
3 EXT.EVENING.APARTMENT. 3
oTS towards APARTMENT door
SIDE MEDIUM SHOT AT DOOR
CUS OF KEYS ON PALM OF HAND
Maccarig arrives home from work and has a bag of messages
with him. He drops his keys trying to open the door.
Eventually getting the door open he wanders in to the
pitch dark apartment.
4 INT.EVENING.APARTMENT. 4
LONG STILL SHOT
Macarrig walks into the kitchen turning on the light and
removes all the messages from the bag casually putting
them on the table as we see the extreme close up of each
product
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (2) 8.
after attending to the shopping Maccarrig walks into the
sitting room where he sees the television remaining on
standby displaying a blue screen. Turning on the second
light Maccarrig gets the shock of his life glancing at an
unfamiliar face on the couch next to flatmate Makey.
Maccarrig slaps Makey twice on the right and left side of
his face
MACCARRIG MCGOWAN
Makey you awake?OOO Makey
Marrig takes out a liquid from his pocket putting it to
his noise. Getting a rude awaking Makey sneezes
MAKEY LOUIS
AW Fuckin hell. GOD DAMMIT...
MACCARRIG MCGOWAN
My apologies Makey, just trying
to get your attention.
MAKEY LOUIS
aw well aren’t you a peach.
Anything some what entertaining
on that shit sight of a quarry
you want to share..
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
Nope.. how about you introduce me
to your friend..
MAKEY LOUIS
well not really a friend more of
an acquaintance.
Macarrig stars daggers at Makey
MAKEY LOUIS (CONT’D)
What.. Stop staring at my like
that your creeping the shit out
of me
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
what did I tell you ha,what did i
FUCKING tell you. under NO
circumstances bring anyone back..
MAKEY LOUIS
hey calm down.. I had good reason
for it!
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
Good reason, GOOD REASON.. ARE
YOU INSANE,ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR
FUCKING MIND HAA.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (3) 9.
MAKEY LOUIS
hehe a little.. come on whats so
wrong. Just a little bit of
banter you know. having the cup a
tea reminiscing about George! the
usual. look at him so peaceful
all curdled up on the couch. not
a care in the world.. why cant
you be more like him.
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
we just committed a robbery tin
head and i don’t want to have to
tell your only living relative
that you tragically fell of a
very slippery scaffolding and got
smothered in cement. O my god do
you even know the meaning of low
profile ha!....He has to leave.
HEY wake up whoever you are and
get out of my fucking apartment.
Makey stretches while yawning very relaxed while Maccarig
tries is hand and rudely awaking the stranger on the far
side of the couch with no luck
MAKEY LOUIS
Your wasting your time
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
Shut your trap.!
Macarrig shakes the stranger aggressively trying to wake
him up with no luck. Makey staring at Macarrigs struggle
smiles calmly.
MAKEY LOUIS
He’s a lively one isn’t he!!
MACCARRIG MCGOWAN
I SAID SHUT UP!!
The Stranger drops to the floor dead as a cow pat.
Maccarig is shocked pausing for a second staring
daggers at the dead body swirling his finger around his
temple
Makey gets up and puts his arm on Maccarig shoulder
failing to make him feel at ease. Talking in a calm Manor
whispering into his ear.
MAKEY LOUIS
(Calm and assertive)
Now i know how this looks...
Don’t overreact. I can explain
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (4) 10.
MACCARRIG MCGOWAN
(Implosive)
Do Do Makey please... explain
yourself..
MAKEY LOUIS
Well you know that psychologist
lad I usually call to too talk
about my soo called problems. You
asked me to give it ago so I
did..
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
That’s him
MAKEY LOUIS
yaa
Maccarrig Repetitively stroking his chin and cracking his
knuckles pointing at the dead psychologist.
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
YA! and his dead
MAKEY LOUIS
No no no no.. well yes,
just hear me out!
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
you crossed the line this time
Makey Ill listen to your excuse
but as far as I’m concerned. This
time you are not excused.
No remorse of sympathy Makey further insults the situation
and intentionally trying to provoke Maccarig by putting on
a stereotypical English accent in description of the
murder.
MAKEY LOUIS
Well good Sir! I rather got sick
of listening to his psychology
crap and gave him a taste of his
own medicine.. So i slipped in
his tea a pinch of pollen from
Johnny’s special flower.
Unfortunately I did not think it
would kill him. HOW UNFORTUNATE..
I guess the reaction just proved
too much for the Doctorate
professor. And the reaction was
astonishing. he basically went
through everything I went through
only he dropped dead after. So
when I think about it iv got a
stronger mind then he does. Now
obviously I didn’t want anybody
to see his corps at the office
soo.. I did what any reasonably
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (5) 11.
intelligent person would do.. I
took him home with me as a
souvenir. Don’t ask me how I just
did. "However" don’t get me wrong
I feel awful for it. I guess we
all make mistakes. Forgive and
forget as they say. Rite!? HEY!
If it makes you feel any better
we could close his eyes and
pretend his sleeping ha. how
about that,look at the big brain
on Sir Makey tada!!
Makey Closes the dead body’s eye’s.
Long Pause Maccarrig stars at Macy and swiftly exploding
into a raging rant knocking over everything in the sitting
room. throwing Chairs around the room and punching walls.
Macy smiles staring and making funny faces during
Maccarigs rant.
After his eruption Maccarig calms down and instinctively
tries to hide the body without questioning Macy’s terrible
action. He orders Macy to help him hide the body in the
spare closet.Suddenly the door bell rings.
Makey grabs the legs of the body and Macarrig grabs the
arms. The duo drag the body to the back closet.
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
(Explosive Resentful)
OO the devil shits on my fortune
once again.Answer that Makey and
whoever it is tell them to fuck
off.!! First help me move this
poor man into the closet. Grab
his legs there... and.. SHIFT..
The lads Drop the body in the closet.
MAKEY LOUIS
Hold on. I might be just paranoid
but I’m getting a weird vibe.
Your not angry at me are you?
Makey hands Maccarig the blanket and duvet from the couch.
Maccarig puts the blanket and duvet over the body at the
far corner of the room within all the junk.
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
No of course not.. you should be
proud. Hand me those qwelts on
the cough...Congratulations you
just won best homicidal lunybin
in the golden globes for
psychopath of the year award. Now
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (6) 12.
answer that fucking door! before
that bell does my head in.
MAKEY LOUIS
(happy and Cheerful)
with pleasure!!
Answering the door Makey is greeted by a Guard. Appearing
intimidating and broad he shows Macy his ID Badge. A look
of uneasiness bestows upon Macy’s face but manages to keep
his composer.
5 EXT.EVENING.APARTMENT ENTRANCE. 5
Makey is greeted at the front door by two detectives
wearing uniforms
Appearing professional and serious they both show Makey
their ID badges sharply and causally taking off their
black sunglasses slotting them neatly into their waste
pockets
MALE DETECTIVE
Good afternoon young man.
MAKEY LOUIS
Dia Guet. cunnis a ta tu?
MALE DETECTIVE
to ma Ceart go leor. Its Nice to
see the Irish language still
alive but if you don’t mind sir
we would like to talk to you in
English for this for this
conversation
MAKEY LOUIS
NO problem..Mr??
MALE DETECTIVE
I,m detective John Flynn and this
is my partner detective Jose
MCgrath
Jose nods professionally
MAKEY LOUIS
a pleasure.. how can I help you
detectives?
JOSE MCGRATH
we are investigating into the
disappearance of a local man..
James O Regan, Professor in
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (2) 13.
JOSE MCGRATH (CONT’D)
psychology at GD University. Our
recent sources would have us
believe that he was kidnapped
earlier today.
MAKEY LOUIS
Kidnapped.. O that’s terrible. Is
there anything I can do to help?
JOSE MCGRATH
Could you identify him for us if
possible?
Jose hands Makey a picture of the psychologist. Makey
takes a stare with recognition at the picture bluffing the
truth as he stars in trance at the photo
MAKEY LOUIS
are you sure its a kidnapping?
JOHN FLYN
Nothing can be proven yet. but no
traces of evidence can link us to
any suspects. Its quiet peculiar
actually.. He vanished rather
mysteriously.. and the only thing
found at the scene was this peace
of hair.. and a pair of black
gloves so we are urging anyone in
the local community to step
forward if they have seen our
heard anything suspicious that
can help our case
MAKEY LOUIS
I’m really sorry to disappoint
you detectives but this man is
not a familiar face. have you any
potential suspects in mind?
JOSE MCGRATH
We firmly believe if it was a
kidnapping the candidates
responsible were more then likely
one our perhaps more then one of
his clients
MAKEY LOUIS
Really!
JOHN FLYN
Also unfortunately for us the
database and CCTV footage have
been sabotaged by an unknown
source."equally suspicious, So
now we cant cross reference any
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (3) 14.
JOHN FLYN (CONT’D)
of Mr O’Regans clients our more
importantly his most recent
client
MAKEY LOUIS
(Excited)
WOW.. I know yer professionals
and all but that is just crazy
balls. You obviously have some
kinda criminal genius up yer
backsides "for the record" can I
say ye smell and look
great!!...So ye guys F.B.I? do
you hunt aliens..? O please god
tell me you hunt aliens because I
think that would be just..
Fantastic!I’m a big believer you
know.
The two detectives give Makey a grin
JOSE MCGRATH
Excuse me!. We are not here to
entertain SIR and we take our job
very seriously AND NO we do Not
Hunt Aliens!
MAKEY LOUIS
I know I know I know I know..I’m
sorry its just I remember I had
this one dream I was abducted by
aliens and and then.. I woke up
covered in all this weird ugly
brown goo with bits inside it.
Ectoplasm haa RITE!!John knows
what I’m talking about
JOHN FLYN
you mean vomit
MAKEY LOUIS
Actually now that I think of it.
It was vomit ya
JOHN FLYN
do you think this is a joke!. We
have a very serious case on our
hands and our time is really
precious so sir if you will
please conduct yourself with a
little more decorum we would
really appreciate it
MAKEY LOUIS
I know...your right. My
apologizes detective. Just trying
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (4) 15.
to lighten the mood. I imagine
its a very stressful job. Being
detectives and all.
Regretfully... I’m afraid I cant
help ye. But if I could I would
JOHN FLYN
Thank you Sir much appreciated..
The job has its moments, So.. do
you live hear by yourself? We
never actually got your name
Jose Mcgrah takes out a notepad. Macy lies about his name
has she jots down his fake name on the notepad.
MAKEY LOUIS
O I’m sorry how rude of me. Tommy
O’Brien
Maccarig trying his best to clean the place as fast as
possible. is curious to know who is at the door
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
WHOSE AT THE DOOR MAKEY?
Awkward silence as Makey stars at the silent detectives
MAKEY LOUIS
JUST TWO DETECTIVES..THEY ARE
INVESTIGATING A MISSING PERSON.
TERRIBLE ISN’T IT. WHATS THE
WORLD COMING TO.
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
(Panicking)
I KNOW SURE ITS AWFUL
JOSE MCGRATH
Is that your housemate? Could a
sworn I heard him call you Makey.
MAKEY LOUIS
O no no! Common misunderstanding.
I know its strange detective but
that’s just my nick name.
JOHN FLYN
(suspicious)
So is it just the two of you
living here?
MAKEY LOUIS
No.Three altogether.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (5) 16.
JOHN FLYN
Could we get their names please?
MAKEY LOUIS
Not even a major problem.. the
first flatmate is Maccarig
McGowan the fella i was just
shouting at haha,sorry about that
by they way
JOSE MCGRATH
and the other fella?
MAKEY LOUIS
Johnny.. Speed
JOSE MCGRATH
Speed. That’s a very odd surname.
MACY LOUIS
Well its actually Fitzgerald but
we call him speed.
JOHN FLYN
Any particular reason you call
him speed?
The detectives give a very unsettling silent stare at
Makey. Bluffing
MAKEY LOUIS
he has loads of drugs in his
bedroom.. I mean that whole room
is like one massive
hallucinogenic!.... I got ya haa.
Haa No.. No reason detective..
again just lightening the mood
JOHN FLYN
Well then.. I guess we haven’t
anything else to talk about.
Thank you for your time Mr Brian,
Be on the look out..
The two detectives shake Makey’s hand and leave for their
car. As they drive away Makey sticks up his two middle
fingers
MAKEY LOUIS
OOO I will. By now
Meanwhile Maccarrig finds a very suspicious letter in
Makey’s waste coat. A letter regarding great interest. We
dissolve into Maccarrigs eyes with the transparent visual
letters and English man narrative as he reads it
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (6) 17.
ENGLISH MAN NARRATIVE
Dear Mr Maccarrig McGowan, I am
writing to you in relation to the
death of my client Mr. John
McGowan. In accordions with his
final will,in which you were
named his heir. As such all of
his rightful assets are
bequeathed to you. Please get
back to me as soon as possible in
order to complete the process.
Yours faithfully Albert Bradshaw
Maccarig cringes in disbelief and puts the letter in his
pocket. Makey closes the door with his hands behind his
back and leans against it.
MAKEY LOUIS
PHEEEEW.. dodged a bullet there
MACCARRIG MCGOWAN
(suspicious)
We need to dispose of that body
as soon as we can.
MAKEY LOUIS
aww we sort that later.. O I just
remembered
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
what
MAKEY LOUIS
Tonight is kings night
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
aww shit is that tonight. I’m
having an hour rest anyway...
Excuse me while a go have a spaz
attack. let me know when Johnny
is back.
MAKEY LOUIS
Will do
A slow dissolve from Macy’s suspicious staring face
6 EXT.NIGHT.APARTMENT. 6
Voices can be heard outside. The door bell rings. We see
only a hand ringing the bell repeatedly then hitting
repeatably. Makey answers the door.

18.
7 INT.NIGHT.APARTMENT. 7
Makey answers the door. Then a tall young man wearing a
trench coat and peek hat accompanied by two female friends
make a big entrance.
LAD 3
MAKEY!!!
MAKEY LOUIS
JOHNNY!!!
JOHNNY SPEED
You Up for kings tonight?
MAKEY LOUIS
Seriously..look who your talking
to!
JOHNNY SPEED
cool man..by the way this is
Shannon
MAKEY LOUIS
Hello there Shannon
SHANNON
Hii
MAKEY LOUIS
where you from?
SHANNON
Shannon ha no jokes please
Makey bursts out laughing followed by and awkward silence
MAKEY LOUIS
Wow... I’m sorry SHANNON FROM
SHANNON..lovely to meet you. Make
yourself at home.
SHANNON WHITE
Your enjoying yourself there
aren’t you
MAKEY LOUIS
Sorry.. please forgive me that
was rude
JOHNNY SPEED
Anyways Shannon says She’s
looking forward to kings aren’t
you Shannon?
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (2) 19.
SHANNON
Ya it should be fun. Something
different.
JOHNNY SPEED
Right you are because Whats our
Philosophy Makey?
looks at Macy
MACY LOUIS
LIFE IS A WASTE OF TIME.
TIME IS A WASTE OF LIFE,
SO GET WASTED ALL THE TIME
AND YOU’LL HAVE THE TIME OF
YOUR LIFE
looks at Johnny
JOHNNY SPEED
LIFE IS A WASTE OF TIME.
TIME IS A WASTE OF LIFE.
SO GET WASTED ALL THE TIME
AND YOU’LL HAVE THE TIME OF
YOUR LIFE
A familiar voice female voice catches Makey’s attention
SISTER
Are ye alright there lads
Makey turns his head making a sarcastic facial expression.
He looks at the young lady on the left.
MAKEY LOUIS
Sis.. Its good to see you
SISTER
You too
Awkward silence
JOHNNY SPEED
aww..Wea’re going to be in the
kitchen alright, Patrice your bag
is in my room if your looking for
it
MAKEY LOUIS
no problem Johnny
PATRICE LOUIS
ya
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (3) 20.
Johnny walks to kitchen with Shannon. Meanwhile Makey and
Patrice walk into the sitting room and close the door.As
they both sit down Patrice takes out eye liner and her
compact mirror grooming herself during the conversation
half distracted
PATRICE LOUIS
SO..we all set?
MAKEY LOUIS
O YA.. we set
PATRICE LOUIS
Do you still have the passports?
MAKEY LOUIS
You know I do!
PATRICE LOUIS
Remember our deal... fifty
percent of the cut. Besides You
owe me one Makey.. Especially
after that incident in Cork. That
was way too close for comfort
MAKEY LOUIS
A Greek tragity more like. Poor
Mickey.. I miss that egit,
egotistic, reckless, enthusiast,
bastard.
PATRICE LOUIS
That’s the point. He was too
reckless and He didn’t go along
with the plan. "My plan".. which
would have worked if he haden’t
played the lone wolf and got
himself bushwhacked.... Its just
you and me now Makey,and I need
someone I can trust
Makey sits behind Patrice and gives her a neck massage
MAKEY LOUIS
Hey of course you can trust me,
you know that. I’ve Never stirred
you wrong before
PATRICE LOUIS
No..you haven’t... but never say
never Makey... Does he suspect
anything
MAKEY LOUIS
It should be walk in the park..
Altho..
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (4) 21.
Swiftly and aggressively Patrice closes down her compact
mirror and stares daggers at Makey with a look of anger
bestowed upon her face
PATRICE LOUIS
Altho what?
MAKEY LOUIS
its nothing.. just a feeling.
whispering to each other
DIAGONAL SHOT - ORIENTAL
PATRICE LOUIS
really.. tell me about this
feeling
MAKEY LOUIS
look He may suspect something..
But I’m not... sure
PATRICE LOUIS
That’s no good. I need an
explanation not a theory.
MAKEY LOUIS
My gut
PATRICE LOUIS
Your gut..
MAKEY LOUIS
ya my gut it tells me things.
PATRICE LOUIS
it tells you things
MAKEY LOUIS
ya and its usually right
PATRICE LOUIS
and its usually right
MAKEY LOUIS
ya my gut is usually right
PATRICE LOUIS
your gut is usually "OK" CAN we
please stop talking about your
gut!
MAKEY LOUIS
OK..
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (5) 22.
PATRICE LOUIS
This is the the score of the
century and we are not going to
fuck this up! Makey are you
listening to me? We go out there
and play kings, we have a few
drinks and when everyone is good
and wasted..We fuck off with the
letter.. understood!We have
waited way to long for this Makey
MAKEY LOUIS
I know we have but what about
Maccarrig?
PATRICE LOUIS
Do you honestly want to back up
for a man who threatens you every
single day and insults you at
every turn. We use the fake
passport passing of as Maccarrig
and claim his massive fortune
from Mr Bradshaw..Because as far
as Bradshaw is concerned he
doesn’t know what Maccarrig looks
like.. and that’s good for us
because!
MAKEY LOUIS
Because as far as Mr Bradshaw is
concerned he don’t know what we
look like either hehe... I missed
you Sis
PATRICE LOUIS
Our more percisly what you look
like..Face it without me you
would be lost
MAKEY LOUIS
Amen to that
Patrice receives a phone call from a Lithuanian friend.
Makey appearing dazed and confused listing to his sister
speaking fluent Lithuanian
PATRICE LOUIS
Hold on I’m getting a call. Be
quiet.. Sveiki Aras
ARAS
Sveiki Patrice. Pikapas jums
orderd yra pasiruo[U+009A]˛e eiti.
Taˇciau mano vyrai auga nekantrus
, nes j¯us nepavyko fufill savo
pa[U+009E]adus taip toli . Man
reikia ne jums priminti, kas
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (6) 23.
ARAS (CONT’D)
atsitiks, jei mes nematome jokiu˛
peln ˛a.
...........................
Patrice assertively puts on red lipstick retaining back
the makeup kit and smiles at Makey
PATRICE LOUIS
Good
Maccarrig overhears the conversation. A Furious look
bestows upon his face walking slowly out of frame.
SLOW TRACKING SHOT TO KITCHEN
Macy and Patrice sit at the kitchen table. Johnny hands
them both a bear.
JOHNNY SPEED
alright so Shannan just got a
rule card. So whats your rule
,something good now don’t
over-think it.
SHANNON
awwm... ok every time you take a
drink you have to make a joke
JOHNNY SPEED
come on Shannon you can do
better then that
SHANNON WHITE
no no let me finish.
if it doesn’t make the
rest of us laugh and I
mean everyone bar myself
you have to jug down the
king without support and
crouched on the under the
table. If you get the king
that is.
JOHNNY SPEED
whooo looks like were in for some
spillage.
MAKEY LOUIS
claps hands in awe
now were taking. alright my turn.
Macy picks up the card. he gets a 7
MACY LOUIS
7 HEAVEN ya PRICKS
Everyone has to put their hands into the sky. The last
person to do it has to drink.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (7) 24.
Johnny is last to put up his hand. Patrice reaches her
hand out to johnny’s shoulder with a light playful punch
teasing him.
PATRICE LOUIS
awwww Johnny DRINK
JOHNNY SPEED
Awww shit.
Takes a swig
MACY LOUIS
Alright Shannen lets see what you
got.!
SHANNON
Waterfall!
Waterfall rule everyone has to drink. Everyone downs their
drink very quickly. Shannon gets weensy and feels sick.
She runs to the bathroom.
PATRICE LOUIS
(concerned)
You ok Shannon?
Shannon doesn’t say anything just nods across and gargles.
PATRICE LOUIS (CONT’D)
hurry the bathroom is just on the
left in the hallway!
JOHNNY SPEED
I told ye there would be
spillage.. Is Shannon alright?
PATRICE LOUIS
she be grand. whose turn is it?
JOHNNY SPEED
Its mine. righto.. twinkle
twinkle little card show me
something fancy that will knock
out Macy.
MACY LOUIS
did you make that line up all by
you self?
JOHNNY SPEED
and its a rule card. I’m leaving
my rule on standby for now. O’k
Patrice.
Four thumbs on floor last one drinks. Patrice comes last
in this one.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (8) 25.
takes a swig of beer.
MACY LOUIS
Alright there is two cards left.
oooo the suspense is killing me.
Slowly picks up the card.
JOHNNY SPEED
What you get?
MACY LOUIS
Category card... right every time
you drink you have tell a very
embarrassing story. If you don’t
you drink twice. ooo Johnny last
card I see an embarrassing story
at the very near future.
Johnny smiles and makes a grin
JOHNNY SPEED
SHIT...
Johnny expecting the obvious reveals his card getting the
King. Macy slags johnny.
MAKEY LOUIS
OO... is that the king. Are my
eyes deceiving me. DRIIINK
..quickly now Mr Speed.
JOHNNY SPEED
ya ya ya FUCK you too... alright
smart ass. My rule is now in
action. Every time I drink you
must consume equally the same
amount I do. Whats wrong Macy, no
witty remark our comeback.
Patrice laughs getting out a camera.
PATRICE LOUIS
Lol awww lads there is Defo some
gonna be spillage tonight! hold
on don’t do anything and I get
out my camera.
Macy just smiles and refiles the king jug to the top with
everything drink from vodka bear and whiskey. Patrice take
a picture of the duo drinking the king cups.
JOHNNY SPEED
Down the hatch Macy
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (9) 26.
MAKEY LOUIS
Down the hatch Johnny.
The two lads jug down the drinks while Patrice cheers them
in the background. Johnny looses the game staggering to
the couch. Macy is left standing just barley enough to get
to the sink and puke.
PATRICE LOUIS
Well done lads. Good game. Listen
Makey... I’m heading for a wash
alright. Sober up for yourself.
Have some toast our something.
Patrice walks out of the room and Macy beaches himself on
the kitchen chair taking a nap. Johnny beaches himself on
the couch in the sitting room.
Johnny picks up an unusual sent of the couch. covering his
mouth in disgust.
JOHNNY SPEED
What is that awful smell from the
couch. JESUS that’s bad. MAKEY
DID YOU LEAVE THE DOG IN SITTING
ROOM..? YOU SWEAR SOMEONE FLOUD
THEIR BOWLS! JESUS...
No answer from anyone and johnny decides to make his way
up to his room instead. Shannon still in the bathroom
getting sick briefly passes out on the seat of the toilet
but is awoken by future events.
FADE OUT
8 INT.NIGHT.APARTMENT.KITCHEN. 8
Everyone is finished drinking for the night. Shannon
sleeping on the cough and Johnny speed out for the count
on the floor in the sitting room. Patrice is upstairs
having a shower. meanwhile Macarrig greets Macy at the
table with something to say lighting up a cigarette.
Talking a bear from the fridge and casually sitting on the
chair next to Macy smoking his cigarette.
We view the crisp extreme close up of Maccarig opening the
can of bear oriented with the amplified sound of fizzy.
Casually with ease jugging back the can of bear.
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
(implosive/calm)
looks like everyone is out for
the count... did you have a good
night?
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (2) 27.
MAKEY LOUIS
(Drunk)
ya haha Johnny is conked.. good
night now. cant beat the game of
kings
Maccarig takes the letter from his pocket and throws it at
Macy. Macy is nervous but keeps his composer.
(shocked/nervous)
Whats that?
MACCARRIG MCGOWAN
(implosive)
Whats this you say. You tell me
it was in your waste coat
MAKEY LOUIS
Honestly.. I never saw that in my
life. Johnny must have put it
there. the little weasel!
Maccariig stars daggers at Macy and puts a recorder on the
table and plays it revealing the truth about Patrice and
Macy’s intentions. Stopping the recording he continues
jugging back swiftly the remains of his can and throwing
it with perfect accuracy into the bin.
Macy tries to keep his composer the best he can.
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
...... Let me tell you a story.
you like bed time story’s don’t
you.. Once upon a time there was
a Gardner.. he spend his days
trimming the hedges and thorns of
his beautiful sanctuary. He loved
his work and every soo often the
neighbors would come visiting
asking the good guarder to help
them with their thorns and
trusses.And he always said yes
...but... one day he released
that his own garden become
infested with rushes and thorns
so for the first time in donkeys
years he needed help cause he
couldn’t do it on his own. And
you know what the neighbors said.
they said NO. Excuse after excuse
after excuse I’m too busy.. I’m
too caught up... I’m too occupied
to give a shit in other words.
And ever since then the neighbors
couldn’t visit the guarder
without getting a few stings from
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (3) 28.
the nettles our pricks from the
rushes. He just stopped...
caring.. And then it got me
thinking
quiet and smiles..
MACY LOUIS
OO I love surprises. What did it
make you think?? how did you how
.. you must be a poet!
long pause. Maccarrig turns his back to Macy
MACCARRICK MCGOWAN
What was that quote you said to
me earlier.... Its all mind over
matter.
Maccarig takes out a pistol and shoots Macy in the nee
cap.
MAKEY LOUIS
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW FUCKSKS JASUSSS
ughghhhmmmmmm
Pause
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
how did the rest of it go again?
MAKEY LOUIS
HAHAHAAHmmmmm iffs Youss donttt
mind it DOESSent matter
HAHAAHAWWW
Maccarig sarcastically laughs displaying a smiling face
before grinning furiously.
MACCARRIG MCGOWAN
haaaaha Brilliant. So I suppose
you wont mind if I blow your head
off you Treacherous prick.
MAKEY LOUIS
GO ON DO IT THEN..I.. I. wont
give a fuck...and you will spend
your whole life wondering why you
killed the only man that ever
listened.But if that’s the way it
has to be... Here one last drink
then for the road?
Macy hands Maccarig a bear from the table that hand
foxgloves planted inside it. half drunk can Maccarrig
forgets with pride how suspicious that can was.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (4) 29.
MACCARIG MCGOWAN
Suppose it wouldn’t kill me haha.
Drinking it whole Maccarrig gets poisoned to death by
foxgloves pollen slowly hyperventilating on the floor a
slow zoom to Macy motionless on the seat staring and
laughing at Maccarig as we experience the effect of being
exposed to the drunken amplified illusions and state of
toxicity through Maccarig’s eys.
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
ughhhhhhhh.. gluppppp youuu
prick................ AWWWWWW
Illusion slow motion laugh in the format of a demon
monster voice over
MAKEY LOUIS
I suppose It can HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !
Johnny hears the noise and runs into the kitchen. Maccarig
dies on the floor trying to reach his gun. Johnny Speed
comes barging in.
JOHNNY SPEED
(Shocked/panicking)
WHAT THE FUCK, MACY WHAT HAPPENED
CHRIST.. OO CHRIST ill ring the
Hospital.
Johnny get his phone out. Macy tries to prevent him from
calling the hospital distracting him.
MAKEY LOUIS
No... don’t bother its Maccarig
he tried to kill me so I poisoned
him. I had no choice. Look at him
there.
Barley able to move our talk Maccarig grabs johnny’s pants
to warn him.
Slow motion effect
MACARRIG MCGOWAN
JOhnny.. Macy Poisoned me. Dont
listen to him. Hes a lying rech
Johnny turns swiftly rite into the front barrel of the
revolver. Staring into Macy’s eyes with disbelief. Macy
looks away from johnny as he shoots him stone dead.
MAKEY LOUIS
Im soo sorry Johnny
Bang
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (5) 30.
Patrice walks in to the kitchen combing her hair dropping
her hair brush with a look of disgust and disbelief.
PATRICE LOUIS
wow that escalated quickly.O my
god your hurt! what happened Macy
this is NOT what we had in FUCKIN
mind!!
Macy is limping
MAKEY LOUIS
its nothing just leg pains ahah
cough
PATRICE LOUIS
ya I can see that!
Macy gives his sister an extended hug trying to stand up
and takes a knife out of his pocket holding Patrice by the
neck. He kisses her head and gently moves her fringe hair
to the side. applying pressure with the knife towards
Patrice’s Neck drawing a small wound and a drizzle of
blood.
AWWW..Makey what are you doing.
let me GO...You FUCKER you
promised! your just a RAT! and
always will be! Mom was right!!
YOU PROMISED!!
Macy covers his sisters mouth with his hand whispering in
her ear
MAKEY LOUIS
SHHHH...I said we would share the
cut. To a Job well done hehe...
What a team we make..
Macy grips Patrice’s hand and cuts it. Then Macy cuts his
hand and forces them to shake each others bloody hands. a
tear flows down her eye in pain.
PATRICE LOUIS
AWWWW!!
Macy puts the gun to Patrice temple.
MAKEY LOUIS
mom.. yess.. I never did tell you
what happened mom did i!
Patrice goes into shock of silence and stars into Macy’s
eyes listening to his horror story that was a provoking
weapon of intimidation and psychological torture. A
convincing yet unreliable story.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (6) 31.
PATRICE LOUIS
(Implosive/angry/focused)
You dont know what happened
mom... Nobody knows... what
happened to mom.
MAKEY LOUIS
I remember it like it was
yesterday OO man I do. It was
cold dark gloomy night when mam
met her demise.the rain pelleted
down soo hard it was like a
bullet in your head.You cant even
imagine what it must be like to
WAKE UP IN YOUR OWWWN GRAVE and
see some random bastard shoveling
in the gravel. Grain - after -
grain. O HAHA and it was wet as
fuck so the gravel must have
stung like HELL. much more then
you feel now.. Her just crying
and begging to let her free.. I
mean what kind of person lies in
their grave in search of hope
RITE!. I mean WHO DOES THAT.. on
and on she went like a parrot..
The words Why son why. and Please
let me go, please let me go
please LET ME GOO. but after
awhile the burden of life became
all too real as I watched that
gravel take her life away.. the
screams lasted alright for a
brief i dont know.. about two
maybe three minutes And then
"suddenly"... I heard it. That
beautiful yet haunting
silence....gone
Patrice snaps grabbing Macy’s hand forcing him to fire two
shots into the air then biting him on the hand and
furiously back healing Macy into the wounded knee cap.
Macy falls to the floor trying to get up as fast as he
can. Patrice picks up the pistol as Macy turns and points
it at his temple.
Macy raptly starts laughing and slapping his hand off the
floor.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH ugh i
didn’t think you had it in you.
I’m soo proud.your becoming just
like me. Go on then... Blow my
brains out like a good little
princess.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (7) 32.
PATRICE LOUIS
(Emotional)
your a sick twisted evil
Bastard.... and full of
shit...But your still my brother.
You need serious.... serious
help! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!
MAKEY LOUIS
(Acceptance/Tad Emotional)
I am what I am princess. I’m well
aware of it and no amount of
psychology is going to change
that. Now send me to HELL..like
the hubris I am. just as well i
Killed mammy. She always thought
of you as disappointment. I
avenged your honer SIS. YOU OWE
ME!
Patrice loses her temper and goes and a raging rampage
hitting Macy over the head with the revolver then throwing
the gun across the room she aggressively beats Macy to
near death with her first until the dripping red blood
begins to stain her hands and splatted over her rosy
cheeks.
PATRICE LOUIS
DIEEEEEEEEE!!!
Patrice goes into emotional shock. Everything is in slow
motion as she kneels to the ground near her dead brother.
Staring at Macy she starts to loose her since of reality
as we see Patrice retreating back to her childhood in a
flashback sequence showing the domestic abuse of the two
siblings
As Macy’s voice starts to plague her mind believing that
she has become and always was destined to be like her
brother Patrice picks up the revolver and slowly points it
towards her temple.
A single tear flows down her cheek as she closes her eyes
and pulls the trigger.
Clic... Clic... Click
repeatably trying to pull the trigger with no bullets
Patrice shouts in anger throwing the gun aggressively
across the room. slouching down at the corner Shannon just
after the shock of events hiding in the bathroom crawls
over and comforts Patrice leaning against her.
(Emotionally Cold)
There was no bullets in that
thing.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (8) 33.
Shannon smiles with glistening happy tears takes 4
bullets out of her pocket.
SHANNON WHITE
And your not getting anymore ever
again.
Patrice gives a cute happy laugh and glances into Shannon
eyes and leans in for a short passionate thank you kiss on
the lips.
SHANNON WHITE
What was that for?
Patrice Louis puts her hand on Shannon face softly
creasing her cheeks.
PATRICE LOUIS
Iv always wanted to kiss an
angel. And now I have...
Shannon gets up of the floor and goes to receive a diary
from Makey’s room.
SHANNON WHITE
wait here!
PATRICE LOUIS
Don’t worry not going anywhere
Shannon slouches down next to Patrice and opens the diary
revealing the poem Makey wrote.
Shannon shows the diary to Patrice as she reads out the
poem
SHANNON WHITE
Something for your conscious. go
on Read it.
Patrice reads out the article. She gets really emotional.
PATRICE LOUIS
I find that each day passes I am
dying to feed the wolves, crying
like a fool and those blood
thirsty eyes drain my fuel. O I
wish I wish I could say I am good
at hart but the nature of my
anguish is unquenchable.. an
unsustainable lust.. Lost in a
war trying to find my way to
now,a limitless sky falls over me
before I hit the ground.
threading thorns and tattered
skin I lay here upon the dirt
pondering what is sin.. waiting..
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (9) 34.
waiting on the result of my
apocalypse and with my dying
breath my hart stained with
regret I will cry out with hope.
"forgive me".........Its got a
nice ring to it..
SHANNON WHITE
Ya......The guards will be here
soon.. what are we going to do?
PATRICE LOUIS
lets just... lay here and dose
off for awhile... And when they
come just.. tell them everything
Shannon puts her hand on Patrice’s hand in comfort.
SHANNON WHITE
Together
PATRICE LOUIS
Ya..... Together
Patrice slides the diary shut letting it drop from her
hands. The duo fall asleep on each other shoulders as we
fade out of frame displaying a long shot of the room to
conclude the story
END ROLL...

Script Three Irish Lads & Some Dead Fella

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