1. Four Goals of Family
Therapy
JETHRO M. NOCOM
EDD STUDENT
EDD 520 - FAMILY THERAPY AND MARRIAGE COUNSELING
PROFESSOR: PERLA B. ESTRELLA, PH.D.,RGC, RPSY
2. Family Therapy
Family therapy is a way of working with families to help
them to solve problems, develop strategies to manage
their difficulties, and become happier and more fulfilled. It
also provides a way for families to get to know each other
better and learn more about what matters to them.
3. FamilyTherapy
It’s important to understand that all families struggle at one
point or another, and there’s nothing wrong with accepting
support. Many families benefit from an objective, third-
party point of view, and they appreciate having the chance
to talk openly.
5. 1. WorkingtoUnderstand Family
Dynamicsin aSafeEnvironment
Family therapists focus on achieving this goal within the first
few sessions. Before they can help, they need to know
what your family’s situation is. For instance, a therapist
might ask why you sought out family therapy. They may
want to know about previous conflicts, prior incidents and
current concerns.
6. 1. WorkingtoUnderstand Family
Dynamicsin aSafeEnvironment
Family therapists work to understand patterns of behavior
in a family and what can be done to improve them.
Discussing family dynamics at home may lead to conflict,
and this can be a major roadblock for everyone. In a safe
environment, however, everyone is encouraged to be open
and honest.
7. 2.Examining and Reforming
Communication Styles
In family therapy, the most crucial goal is to communicate.
For some families, this may be especially difficult. A family
therapist will help you engage and interact in a way that is
respectful. With that being said, initiating communication is
only the first step. From there, families will learn how to
communicate effectively. This means listening to each
other, speaking with empathy and understanding each
other’s needs.
8. 3.Improvingthe Family’sProblem-
SolvingSkills
In most cases, family therapists won’t try to pin down the
exact cause of a problem. It’s common for individuals to
point the finger at one another when this occurs, which
does little to help the healing process. Instead, your
therapist will focus on learning to problem-solve.
9. 3.Improvingthe Family’sProblem-
SolvingSkills
Additionally, they’ll ask about a stressful situation and how
the family responded to it. This will help them better
understand the behavioral patterns that typically lead to
conflict.
When families understand their habits, they’ll also be
better equipped to change them.
10. 4. Reducing Pressure Pointsand
Conflict Escalation
The ultimate goal of family therapy is to limit conflict, not
to eliminate it completely.
Families will always have challenges to face, but family
therapy can help you face them with candor. Ideally,
families should walk away feeling a weight lifted from their
shoulders. Each family member should be able to
communicate openly and problem-solve rather than
escalating conflict unnecessarily.
12. Family therapy can be incredibly helpful for all members of
a family if everyone is wiling to participate and examine
their own actions and reactions to one another. Family
therapy can become a little more challenging when some
members won't participate, or if there are issues with self-
reflection.
13. Advantagesof FamilyTherapy
Working on the health of your family system can positively
impact your interactions with your family members, as well
as with others. Issues within family systems are often
multigenerational, meaning that the issues that show up in
your family are likely patterns that were developed and
passed down generations ago.
15. Disadvantagesof FamilyTherapy
Family therapy can cause issues if one or more members
refuse to participate. Think of it this way- families seek
homeostasis (balance), even if it's unhealthy. This means
that every person within the family has a role to play to
maintain the structure of the family. When some family
members want to work towards healthier patterns, but
others don't, the family structure will begin to shift, thus
creating unconscious and/or conscious anxiety as a change
within the family structure develops and the old "balance"
is thrown off.
16. Somechallenges:
Expose you and/or other members of your family to hurtful
and painful issues that you were previously unaware of-
can be very intense, lead to feeling isolated, and
emotionally drained if you don't have a supportive family
structure (note that this may be temporary if your family is
willing to stick with counseling)
17. Somechallenges:
Once family therapy begins, it can be difficult to see family
situations as you used to and your perceptions may be
altered- can lead to negative feelings, especially if others
within your family are not willing to follow through with
therapy or are in denial of unhealthy family patterns
18. Somechallenges:
Family issues can temporarily intensify as unhealthy
patterns and behaviors become more apparent- in therapy,
issues tend to get worse as they are uncovered and
explored, before they get better
20. 1.Clashing and/or toxicpersonalities
Starting off basic, it's far from uncommon for a family to have
clashing personalities. Perhaps siblings don't get along with
one another, or one child doesn't get along with one or both
parents, psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT
21. 2.Poorcommunication
Nuñez and Spinelli both note that lack of open and healthy
communication is at the root of many more general family
problems. As Spinelli explains, if it's really difficult to actually
speak to a family member, if there are trust issues, if they
dismiss you, or issues get swept under the rug, those are all
family issues surrounding communication.
22. 3.Heavy pressure fromparents
Perfectionism within a family can have extremely negative
effects on children and their self-worth. As Nuñez notes,
when parents shame or dictate how children should feel or
be, it can take a toll on their ability to grow as individuals.
"Parents do need to have some boundaries but not when it
gets to the point where it's emotionally abusive," she
explains.
23. 3.Heavy pressure fromparents
Things like conditional love, or a deep sense of pressure to
meet the expectations of your family, indicate some family
issues. It could even lead to what's known as golden child
syndrome.
24. 4.Different parenting styles
One of the biggest hurdles of parenting as a couple is figuring
out how to combine your parenting styles in an effective way.
When you can't, it can cause some problems.
"It can cause a lot of tension when parents aren't on the same
page with parenting," Nuñez tells mbg. And if you're dealing
with extended family, Spinelli adds, having the input of in-
laws when it comes to your parenting can also cause some
problems.
25. 5. Money
So many families will deal with challenges surrounding
finances, budgeting, and employment. Spinelli says money
problems can include one parent making all the money and
feeling burdened, not having enough basic funds for what
you need, generational issues around poverty or gambling,
and so much more. Money touches most areas of our life, and
if there are issues here, the effects will be felt within any
family.
26. 6. Managing the household
It might seem juvenile, but chores really matter. If one person
is carrying the weight of maintaining the household, that's a
lot of responsibility and pressure. Nuñez notes it's important
for household labor to be divided up in a fair and age-
appropriate way, so one parent doesn't feel taken advantage
of, and children begin learning how to take care of
themselves.
27. 7. Unchecked addictionor mental
health issues
If a parent (or even a child) is dealing with mental health
issues or addiction, that can cause a huge rift within a family
unit. It's important for those things to not only be addressed
but also talked about in an open and honest way.
As Nuñez explains, "If a parent feels like they're hiding
mental illness or any type of substance abuse from a child,
kids pick up on that. They pick up on those nonverbal cues of
inconsistency, and children do need consistency to have a
strong family foundation and feel secure."
28. 8. Constant arguing
According to Spinelli, If you grew up thinking constant
arguing was normal, it's very much not. "Some people don't
realize that the constant bickering and arguing is actually an
issue—they're just so used to it. They don't realize that when
there's yelling or screaming and arguing, that actually
creates stress and tension."
29. 9. Divorce
It's not uncommon, but yes, divorce certainly does disrupt a
family unit and can cause problems when it's swept under
the rug.
"You'd be surprised how many people haven't processed
divorce in the family," Spinelli says, adding, "It really does
impact how you see relationships, and models fears around
relationships, and often people don't even talk about it in
the family."
30. 10. Distance
While it can be hard to avoid, distance within a family can
cause a lot of issues around expectations and boundaries.
For example, as the holidays approach, there are often
arguments around who's visiting whom, why someone has
decided not to visit that year, and so on, she explains.
31. 11. Codependency
"Codependency comes in all shapes and sizes," While some
instances of codependency are mild, the more enmeshment
you find within a family, the more the individual members of
that family will have a hard time distinguishing their own
wants, needs, and desires, she says.
32. 12.Scheduling conflicts
If one or more family members has a busy schedule, it can be
hard to connect together and make time for each other. This
can look like one parent who works long hours and is rarely
home during the day, or issues with scheduling as children get
more involved with extracurriculars, she explains.
33. 13.Intergenerational trauma
intergenerational trauma is a huge, often unaddressed family
problem that stems back through generations. According to
Spinelli, if past generations experienced things like extreme
poverty, racial trauma, sudden death, addiction, mental
health issues, and so much more, all of that can be passed
down through generations.
"If something has happened in the previous generation, and
that family member never dealt with it, that fight-or-flight and
what they went through seeps into the other family
members," Spinelli says.
Editor's Notes
Family Dynamics are the patterns of interactions among relatives, their roles and relationships, and the various factors that shape their interactions. Because family members rely on each other for emotional, physical, and economic support, they are one of the primary sources of relationship security or stress.
can·dor - the quality of being open and honest in expression; frankness.
a community, place, or situation regarded as encapsulating in miniature the characteristic qualities or features of something much larger.
Golden Child Syndrome refers to a strict requirement to become perfect. For example, expecting a child to obtain high grades in school or do every house chore perfectly. Such kids are also considered role models within the family.
Codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.
Codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.
Codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.
Codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.