3. Lack of Structure/Routine
Lack of Consistency
Using punishment instead of positive
reinforcement
Fear
Unrealistic expectations
4. These are NOT the same thing!
DISCIPLINE = TEACHING
5. SET FIRM, LOVING LIMITS USING
ENFORCEABLE STATEMENTS
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOU
MEAN
SELF CONFIDENT, RESPECTFUL AND
RESPONSIBLE YOUNG ADULTS
6. IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHAT IS
DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE FOR YOUR
CHILD
KNOW YOUR CHILD’S TEMPERMENT
(SPIRITED, SENSITIVE, EASY, DIFFICULT)
7. Recognize and reward good behavior
“Catch them being good”
What is your definition of good behavior?
8. BE NICE !
AVOID YELLING
AVOID INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE
BE MINDFUL THAT YOU ARE YOUR CHILD’S ROLE
MODEL
RESPECT SHOULD BE A COMMON THEME
9. Lack of Consistency…
Between married parents
Between divorced parents
Between parents and other caregivers
10. Avoid Meaningless Consequences
Following through is essential-mean what you
say!
Use Natural Consequences
12. PICK YOUR BATTLES!
Offer Choices when Reasonable BUT… Not
Everything is Negotiable
Red Light, Yellow Light, and Green Light
Behaviors
13. PLAYING NICELY (BY HIS/HER SELF OR WITH
OTHERS)
SHARING
COOPERATING WITH REQUESTS
14. Annoying but Acceptable!
Whining, Pouting, Clinging, Grabbing
Our Goal is to Modify These Behaviors
These are NOT Time-Out worthy. Save
Time-Out for the Red Light Behaviors
15. DISTRACTION – Great for younger children
Swap the desired item for something more
acceptable
Use Humor – always a great tool
Sing a silly song
Make up a game (clean up, bedtime)
16. Behaviors Which are NEVER Acceptable…
Safety Issues
Respect Issues
Family Rules
REQUIRES A TIME OUT OR CONSEQUENCE
17. Time In is a Positive Parenting Strategy
Uses tiny bits of play and encouragement when your child
is behaving
Attention (smile, wink, thumbs up, brief
touches)
Praise – praise the action
Don’t go overboard
Praise good tries
A steady stream of time-ins help prevent
time-outs!
18. HAND CHECKS
-Visual way of rewarding good behavior
-Use a washable marker and make a mark on the
back of your child’s hand when they do
something good.
At bedtime, count the checks and recall
what he/she did to earn each one
19. Star Charts
Play
Outside play, when possible
Creative activities – art projects, pretend
reading
20. KEEP IT SHORT (5-10 MINUTES)
“Advertise”
Kids get to choose the activity
Watching TV is NOT Special Time
Have a clear beginning and end
Don’t punish your child by taking away
special time
Don’t do it right before bed
21. Adapted from Toddler 411
www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/.../tips/toddler-discipline/
Anticipate conflict
Transitions, tired, hungry
Pick your battles
Saying “no” too often becomes like
background noise
Don’t negotiate or make false promises
Don’t yell, but DO change your tone
22. USE ONLY FOR RED LIGHT BEHAVIORS
ONE MINUTE PER YEAR OF AGE
USE SHORT EXPLANATIONS
USE A TIMER TO SIGNIFY THE END OF TIME
OUT
23. Common behavior strategy in previous
generations
NOT RECOMMENDED AT ANY AGE
Teaches children that hitting is acceptable
Always used when parents are angry, and
may lead to abuse
It DOESN’T work
Damages children’s and parent’s self esteem
24. Although children thrive on routine and
consistency, they WILL be resistant to your
new parenting strategies
DON’T GIVE UP!!!!! It may take 20 trials of
a new strategy before your child “gets it”
25. SPEND SPECIAL TIME WITH YOUR CHILD
ENCOURAGE FAMILY FUN NIGHT
VACATIONS
26. Use a variety of strategies to impact your
child’s behavior
Not every technique works every time
Give yourself credit for the good parenting
you do
HAVE FUN
27. Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline, MD
and Jim Fay
Toddler 411 by Denise Fields and Ari Brown, MD
The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey
Karp, MD
Supernanny
28. ILLINOIS MASONIC PARENTING CLASSES
773-296-7340
1,2,3 MAGIC: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR
CHILDREN 2-12. TW PHELAN, 2004
BECOMING THE PARENT YOU WANT TO BE
L. DAVIS, BROADWAY BOOKS, 1997
29. YOUR PEDIATRICIAN AT KIDS FIRST!!!!
WE ARE HAPPY TO DISCUSS YOUR CHILD’S
BEHAVIOR CONCERNS
DEVELOPMENTAL PEDIATRICIAN REFERRAL, IF
NECESSARY
