Self-compassion is loving kindness toward the self during times of stress and in good times, too. This powerpoint describes compassion, self-compassion, and how to foster compassion and self-compassion in clients. This can old happen when service providers and service users have relationships of trust..

1. Self-Compassion
& Relationship-Based
Practice in Child Welfare
Jane F. Gilgun & Samantha Hirschey
University of Minnesota, Twin Cities
For MN Department of Human Services
April 20, 2016

2. Topics
Overview Statement
Definitions

3. Overview Statement on Two
Views of Human Beings
bad, sinful, unworthy
We judge, criticize, compare, and
punish

4. Overview Statement on Two
Views of Human Beings
bad, sinful, unworthy
We judge, criticize, compare, &
punish
 basically good
We accept ourselves & others
We regulate our behaviors & the
behaviors of others

5. Compassion
Sympathy
Empathy
A desire to take action to
relieve distress and show
care/love

6. Compassion
Identification with others
Understanding others
Caring for others
Others are worthy

7. Opposite of Compassion
Perfectionism
Disrespect
Sense of unworthiness
Abandonment
Neglect
Dehumanization

8. More on Compassion
Golden Rule
Do to others as you would want
others to do to you.
The greatest of the virtues

9. More on Compassion
Golden Rule
Do to others as you would want
others to do to you.
The greatest of all virtues
"Compassion is a necessity, not a
luxury.” The Dali Lama

10. More on Compassion
Core attribute for helping
professionals
Compassion fatigue
Need for self-compassion

11. Definitions
Self-Compassion
positive regard for the self as
worthy of respect and love during
good times and times of challenge
Awareness of our own assets and
deficits

12. Definitions
Self-Compassion
“I am worthy and also
imperfect.”

13. Definitions
Self-Rejection
Negative regard for the self as
unworthy of respect and love
Largely unconscious
Becomes conscious during times of
stress

14. Examples
Self-Compassion
I screwed up. I want to make up for
it.
I hurt you. I’m sorry.
I eat too much. I accept that until
I’m ready to do something about it.

15. Examples
Self-Rejection
I’m no good.
I’m stupid.
I’m a sh*t.

16. “It’s safer for children
to blame themselves
than to blame parents.”
John Bowlby

17. “I will talk to myself
the same way I talk
to people I love.”
Brene Brown

18. Reflections
Statements You’ve Heard Clients
Make Regarding
Self-compassion

19. Reflections
Statements You’ve Heard Clients
Make Regarding
Self-compassion
Self-rejection

20. Reflections
Statements You’ve Heard Clients
Make Regarding
Self-compassion
Self-rejection
Circumstances in Which You’re
Heard These Statements

21. Relationship-Based Practice
Relationships
the heart of effective practice
can be demanding, confusing, and
conflicted

22. Relationship-Based Practice
Relationships
the heart of effective practice
can be demanding, confusing, and
conflicted
effective practice based on trust
safe havens
Where clients grapple with issues and events

23. Relationship-Based
Practice
a dilemma in child
welfare practice?

24. Where Does Self-
Compassion Come From?
Relationships

25. Types of Relationships
Secure
Ambivalent
Avoidant
Disorganized

26. Clients’ Capacities
for Self-Compassion
Based on the qualities of their
relationships
Develop inner working models
of self, others, and how the world
works

27. Service Providers
& Self-Compassion
Effective Practitioners are
Self-compassionate
Compassionate toward others
Compassion may mean setting limits
on the behaviors of others

28. Service Providers
& Self-Compassion
Foster Self-Compassion in Others
Cultivate their own Self-Compassion

29. Videos From
This Workshop
 Becoming a Self-Compassionate Service Provider
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3s6iuHU-7I
 Loving-Kindness Toward a Young Student https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R-
BUtC7-b8
 Children Disclose Sexual Abuse When They Feel Safe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSwPeVTDyl8
 When Children Say I’m Bad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yTEGM7sf_4
 Being Present to Children with Trauma
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfOBpNjXWbk
 What Compassion Is and Is Not https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79L10i1iyuY

30. References
 Gilbert, P. (Ed.). (2005). Compassion: Conceptualisations, research and use in
psychotherapy. Routledge.
 Gilgun, Jane F. & Samantha Hirschey (2015). Girls’ Aggression & Child Welfare
Social Work. St. Paul, MN: Center for Advanced Studies in Child Welfare. Also free
on Smashwords, iBooks, Barnes & Noble
 Megele, Claudia (2015). Psychosocial and Relationship-Based Practice. Norwich, UK:
Critical Publishing.
 Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy
attitude toward oneself. Self and identity, 2(2), 85-101.
 Neff, K. (2013). Self-compassion Step by Step: The Proven Power of Being Kind to
Yourself. Sounds True.
 Ruch, Gillian (2005). Relationship practice and reflective practice: Holistic
approaches to contemporary child care social work. Child and Family Social Work,
10, 111-123.

31. References
 Tanaka, M., Wekerle, C., Schmuck, M. L., Paglia-Boak, A., & MAP Research Team.
(2011). The linkages among childhood maltreatment, adolescent mental health,
and self-compassion in child welfare adolescents. Child Abuse & Neglect, 35(10),
887-898.
 van Dernoot Lipsky, L., & Burk, C. (2009). Trauma stewardship: An everyday guide
to caring for self while caring for others. Berrett-Koehler Publishers..
 Websites and Videos
 The Three Components of Self-Compassion: Kristin Neff
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11U0h0DPu7k
 Parenting a Self-Compassionate Child- Kristin Neff
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDAvHRS3DLc

32. Websites & Videos
 The Three Components of Self-Compassion: Kristin Neff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11U0h0DPu7k
 Parenting a Self-Compassionate Child- Kristin Neff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDAvHRS3DLc
 The Space Between Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem- Kristin Neff
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4
 Strengthening the Mind Through Self-Compassion
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GKVMILwzdY
 Cognitive Behavioral Tools- Dr. LuAnn Helms
 Managing abusive self-talk (8:25-11:16) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEsYiCDoJks