Unexpected Benefits Of Being Cheated On

1. Unexpected
Benefits Of Being
Cheated On

2. It Brought Me Closer To Other Women
When I found out about my partner's cheating, I immediately turned to my friends for
comfort. My friends hadn't experienced infidelity, but it didn't matter. They made sure
they were there for me while I tried to make sense of the situation.
But my friends weren't the only women who I became closer to. My partner started
dating his ex while we were still dating. I knew his ex because we went to high school
together and I was following her on Twitter (which is how I found out about their
relationship). When they broke up, she began tweeting about why she was glad their
relationship was over, and I, in a moment of solidarity with this girl, liked her tweets. She
sent me a DM immediately and five minutes later we were on the phone with each other
bonding over our shared experiences. For the next few months, she would turn to me for
support while she navigated her post-breakup life the same way I did with my friends.

3. It Gave Me Validation
When I ended the relationship with my partner, I didn't yet know about how he had been
cheating on me. I broke up with him because he was manipulative, abusive, and always
looking to start a fight with me. After we broke up, I couldn't help but wonder if I made a
mistake — was I being overdramatic? Was I wrong? Was I the problem?
When I found out he cheated on me, it became clear that my intuition and judgment had
been right all along. If he was capable of cheating on me, then he wasn't someone I should
be in a monogamous relationship with, and because of this realization, I was finally able
to stop second-guessing my decision to break up with him.

4. It Made Me Appreciate My Healthy
Relationships
After experiencing an unhealthy relationship, I turned to my friends for support and
became more appreciative of them and the loyalty, love, and respect we all had for each
other. I learned that the people who stand by you are the people that actually care about
you, and my partner just wasn't that. There were many things in that relationship that
hurt and upset me, but knowing that my partner wasn't truly invested in the relationship
isn't one of those things. I learned that I can't force someone to love me, but I can
appreciate and love the people who do.

5. Women Will Be Emotionally Stronger
Because Of It
Apparently, women actually can get emotionally stronger after being cheated on if the
relationship doesn't last. Researchers from Binghamton University and University
College London found that while breakups are typically harder on women than they are
on men, because women tend to talk about, think about, and work through those feelings
post-breakup, they're able to actually work through the feelings and move on.

6. You Might Look At Your Future Partner
Differently
If cheating means that your relationship is definitely over, you might, at some point in the
future, find yourself looking for another partner. Being cheated on can change how you
approach potential partners and relationships, however. In the aforementioned study
from Binghamton University and University College London, researchers found that
women who had been cheated on claimed that their emotional intelligence was higher as
a result. They were able to pick up on hints that might indicate that a partner is cheating
because they're better able to intuit when something's off.

7. You'll Communicate Better
If you and your partner decide to stay in your relationship and attempt to work things
out, you'll probably need to work on your communication skills. In an interview with
Reader's Digest, Peggy Vaughan, an affairs expert and the author of The Monogamy
Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs, said that the way to rebuild the
trust in your relationship is to talk about the affair and the issues in your relationship and
answer any questions the other partner may have. You might think that it's better to not
know, but if more information about the affair or the events immediately before or after
it comes out later, it can set you back.

8. It Can Validate Your Decision To End The
Relationship
Ending a relationship can be a tricky business. It's hard to disentangle your lives, to leave
the routine you had with that person, and to sort out your feelings. Essentially, you can
sometimes start second-guessing if ending things is the right thing to do. In some cases,
finding out that you've been cheated on can validate that your decision to end the
relationship was absolutely the right one, as writer Courteney Larocca wrote in a piece
for Bustle. That validation can make it easier for you to move forward.

9. Thank You
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