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Table of Contents
Copyright
Preface
Power Plays: Death by Hierarchy
See 1 See 100: Death by Crowd
Indias Not India: Death by Diversity
Grey Is White: Death by Ambiguity
The Customer Is Always There: Death by Indifference
Thin Skinned: Death by Sensitivity
Time is Eternal: Death by Delay
Chaos Beats Logic: Death by Disorder
About the Author
Acknowledgements
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4. Preface
India is not an aggressive country. She has never invaded another country,
never set up a colony in a foreign land, never had a war in order to extend her
domain. She peacefully welcomes all to come and experience her wonder.
Yet, India consistently has one of the highest failure rates among expatriates,
and seems to have a hazardous effect on those who stay engaged very long.
India is not a country that kills you quickly with a sudden heart attack of
culture shock. No, India slowly nibbles away at you until one day you wake
up, your arm is missing, and someone says, “Any problem, sir?” You know
something is not right, but it usually overcomes you before you can ever
describe it.
This short book looks at the eight most common causes of death among
people engaged with India from the outside, either living or working with
teams here. It puts a name to those things that slowly wear you down until
one day you are shouting and cursing in the middle of a mobile service shop
because all you want to do is change the address on your bill. It also gives a
few strategies to avoid falling prey to the causes, and serves as an
introduction to the articles on my website that take these topics to a deeper
level.
This book is not intended to be critical of Indian culture. Every culture in the
world has challenging aspects to it that can feel overwhelming. However, if
you stay engaged with India for a long time, there are very specific things that
will cause extremely difficult days and leave you feeling totally defeated and
wanting to quit. Being able to name and understand the eight most common
causes of death of outsiders will help you pick yourself up and start again.
Once you learn these causes of death, you can start to see India from a new
perspective and adapt your own life around the ones that threaten you the
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5. most. They show up in your personal and professional life, and sometimes
combine to attack you at once. Keep in mind that death in India is rarely an
intentional act by an individual; it is nearly always a passive side effect of
everyday life.
8 Common Causes of Death in India:
1. Power Plays: Death by Hierarchy - More than money, fame, or gold (and
Indians love gold), power is the most prized possession. Its applications and
examples are endless. If you don’t understand the rules, you will suffer the
consequences.
2. See 1 See 100: Death by Crowd - Every individual you see in India has no
less than 100 other people who support, control, influence, demand, and
enable that person’s life. The essential and intense nature of groups in India
makes it nearly impossible to survive if you try to do India on your own.
3. Indias not India: Death by Diversity - India is a plurality of diversity. A group
of ten Indians can be segmented into twenty different groups, each with their
own rules and taboos. If you come to India unaware of the differences, you
will apply the wrong rules to the wrong people and certainly step on a
landmine you never knew existed.
4. Grey is White: Death by Ambiguity - In India, morality, ethics, and logic are
all situational and relational, and actions that seem ethically grey to you are
easily justifiable in India based on who is involved. Those who insist on more
black and white standards will have a very short life span.
5
6. 5. The Customer Is Always There: Death by Indifference – For most of India,
customers and clients are either a nuisance or a host for parasitism. Even in
situations outside the marketplace, you can get caught feeling like you are
fighting an individual battle with a foe who is bigger, stronger, older, and
couldn’t care less about you. This one causes early onset death.
6. Thin Skinned: Death by Sensitivity – Indians are easily offended. Tensions
and sentiments run high around some obvious and not-so-obvious issues. As
an outsider, you must be aware of the common traps and how to avoid
getting unintentionally caught in the crossfire.
7. Time is Eternal: Death by Delay – Events and meetings are more likely to
start late, be postponed, or get cancelled than actually happen. If you do not
let go of your airtight schedule and adopt some new definitions of time, this
could be the cause of your demise.
8. Chaos Beats Logic: Death by Disorder - India is functioning anarchy. Things
break down quickly, but last for thousands of years. Chaos is king and is not a
kind master to those who prefer to follow a precise plan.
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7. Power Plays:
Death by Hierarchy
The undeniable driving force in the majority of interactions in India is Power.
Who has it, who wants it, who is using it. While these questions are asked in
most other countries, the difference in India is that these questions are asked
out loud.
Power is the ever-present topic that everyone is sensitive to. Any subtle shift
in the power balance is met with opposition, and can be felt as clearly as an
earthquake.
Is[your name] trying to get more power?
If you work closely with Indians, this question has been asked of you. It sits at
7
8. the bottom of most Indians’ brains and comes to the surface anytime there is
a slight change.
Rigid hierarchy and power plays not only dominate the political landscape,
but also greatly influence life in the office and at home. It can be seen in how
someone speaks to domestic staff, refers to an office colleague, or drives on
the road.
Power is important to Indians simply because it is more valuable than in other
cultures. If you have power, you can get things done faster, get things done
others can’t, make other people do things for you, and make money doing it.
Unlike many other cultures, if you have power, you are welcome (and
expected) to use it openly here. The key to doing what you want to do in India
is having power – or knowing someone who does.
While working at a small Indian company, I was asked to contribute to a
project alongside a colleague who had been at the company much longer than
me. When I offered my thoughts of potential improvement, he was fairly
irked that I wanted to tamper with something he felt had been working fine
before me. I didn’t back down since I thought the improvements were
necessary for the project's success. I must have pushed him to his limits
because he eventually laid the trump card down on me: “This has been
approved by the CEO. It is a waste of time to talk about your inputs!”
End of conversation.
I didn’t learn from that interaction and continued to attract bad attention for
trying to usurp the power system. I ended up in a meeting that I shockingly
realized was set up to deal with my power ambitions.
During this “intervention”, everyone was invited to share the one, big, honest
goal we hoped to personally get from the work we were doing. When it came
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9. to my turn, I honestly said I hoped to receive recognition from our team and
others for putting together such a great project. Satisfied that I was not overly
ambitious, my boss then revealed her answer.
She used a word from the local language that translates as “authority” or
“influence”. She wanted to be the one to push the buttons, to pull the strings,
to make the show go on. This very honest answer is a reflection of what most
Indians want in every situation – more power.
This preference for hierarchy is often one of the first “strange” things
foreigners notice when interacting with India. Why are they treating me like
royalty all the time? Why can’t I be friendswith my domestic staff? Why ismanual
labor seen assuch adegrading job? It will take you only a few minutes in India to
realize that there is a very clear segmentation to society, you are now a part of
it, and there’s not much you can do about it.
Vital Information:
Cause of Death: #PowerPlays
Who is at risk: Highly egalitarian people who see every power display as a
sign of injustice, and see it as their mission to correct it.
How it kills you: A sense of righteous indignation fuels a well-intentioned but
misguided action, which results in a deep sense of helplessness, failure, and
general disappointment in humanity.
Prevention: Work the system, don’t change it.
Photo Credit: mysterybee on Flickr
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10. See 1 See 100:
Death by Crowd
How many people do you see in this picture?
Most outsiders would say “one”.
However, if you are going to survive in India, you should get used to seeing at
least a hundred people in this picture. Parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles,
neighbors, siblings, cousins, bosses, and classmates are all the invisible
forces that govern the life of this one person.
When an Indian is born, they instantly become a lifetime member of a group
of no less than 100 people. This network will be with them for their entire
life. The community exists to provide stability, protection, and anything you
could ever need.
Out ofwork? Call your uncle’s company, and see if he can get you a job.
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11. Need admission to aschool? Find a relative who knows a decision maker.
Having trouble getting apassport? A guy you grew up with is now an IAS officer
and can give you inside information.
A born-in network is a great asset to have in a nation where things are
impossible to get done on your own.
However, groups come with a high level of obligation as well. When you get
an invitation to a wedding from someone in your community, you must
always go. When someone needs to call in a favor, you can’t say no. Once you
are in the group, you are there to stay. You are always identified with that
group and all of its quirks and reputations. A question such as whom you
marry is not only an individual one, but one which will profoundly affect the
group.
When I first came to India, I joined a professional/service club in order to
meet people. I enjoyed it at first, but after several months, the meetings were
sometimes dull, and I questioned if it was still worth my time. For some
reason, I felt like it was the right idea to keep going.
Two years after I joined, I found myself in a stressful situation where I needed
some legal advice quickly. My former self would have panicked, jumped onto
Google, searched for a lawyer, and started making random cold calls until
someone who seemed legitimate answered.
But instead, I made one phone call to a member inside my club. Within an
hour, I had a meeting set up with one of the best lawyers in the city who gave
me some free counsel, and assured me I had nothing to worry about. I was
shocked at how quickly the group circled around me, and helped me through
what would have otherwise been a horrible situation.
Later on, I got a call from a friend in a different social circle who was in a panic
11
12. and needed me to do some work for her that she was under heavy pressure to
complete (and for which she was being paid). Because she was someone I
valued and was a part of my “group”, I knew my only option was to help her
and not ask any questions or hesitate.
This complete reliance on groups is often hard for outsiders to understand.
However, nothing in India is meant to be done on your own. From finding a
new house to finding the right person for a job, everything is done based on
groups and personal connections. If you try to do everything yourself, you
will not survive.
Vital Information:
Cause of Death: #See1See100
Who is at-risk: Highly individualistic people with a great aversion towards
having outstanding obligations to someone else, or those who prefer to do
everything themselves.
How it kills you: A desire not to burden or rely on others makes you try to
address all of your problems on your own. These problems never get solved
and build into a mountain of stress that slowly crushes you.
Prevention: Find a group you are comfortable calling on for favors (and
offering favors in return).
Photo credit: Eddy Pulaon Flickr
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13. Indias Not India:
Death by Diversity
“What is seekh kebab?” I asked while preparing some information on a
presentation, completely surrounded by Indians of various backgrounds.
“It isjust ameat kebab.”
“Maybe mutton.”
“I think it isminced meat.”
“What is minced meat?” I asked.
“Umm…it’slike lamb, I think. Just look it up on Wikipedia.”
As an outsider, it was unbelievable to me that there was not a common
knowledge surrounding something so cultural as food. Shouldn’t every
Indian know what seekh kebab is? (It is actually native Pakistani food.)
The idea of “common knowledge” turns out to be not so common in a country
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14. made up of 28 unique states with 17 languages on their currency notes.
People grow up with different food, different movies, and different cultures
that make it difficult to find the strands of the ties that bind.
In fact, you can slice up India in many different ways: economically,
linguistically, culinarily, religiously...the diversity is endless. You should be
skeptical anytime someone says, “India is like this.”
Which India are you talking about: Marathis or Punjabis? Mallus or Bengalis?
Hindus or Sikhs? Urban IT professionals or rural farmers?
It is not India, but Indias. It is a country of countries, a kingdom of
interconnecting kingdoms, a nation of divided and united nations. Nothing
could be more complex than trying to speak of any universal truth about India
simply because there are so many Indias to speak of.
Winston Churchill once said India was no more a single country than the
Equator. Many have suggested you should think of India more like the
European Union than one united country. India has been an amalgamation of
cultures from the very beginning of its existence.
One of my favorite stories in India happened when I introduced my mother-
in-law to a very successful businessman I knew well. We sat in his office and
enjoyed some tea and small talk. The conversation shifted to children and the
businessman started talking about his daughter at the same time one of the
office helpers came in and started serving tea.
My mother-in-law is a classic American and comes from a part of the country
where children often help out their parents who own businesses by doing
random jobs around the office.
Only seeing the office help out of the corner of her eye, my mother-in-law
said, “Oh, is this your daughter?”
My eyes lit up with shock. It would be extremely rude to assume that the
daughter of a very successful businessman would be doing work done by a
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15. completely different segment of society. Those are two different Indias, and
mixing the rules between the two can get you in trouble.
Thankfully, the businessman didn’t take offense and laughed off the
situation, but it could have ended much worse.
India is a highly segmented country, and foreigners should be aware that
each group has different rules around how you should treat them. Muslims
will not like it if you wish them a happy Diwali, but never say anything around
Eid. Someone from Andhra Pradesh will not be impressed that you love
chicken tikka masala (a British-Punjabi dish), but have never heard of biryani.
A Bengali will not appreciate that you can name the top Bollywood stars, but
have never read any Tagore.
Assuming that all Indians are the same is not only a display of ignorance, it
can also lead to some fatal mistakes that aren’t easy to recover from.
Vital Information:
Cause of Death: #IndiasNotIndia
Who is at risk: Ill-informed individuals from highly homogenous cultures
that assume “we should just treat everyone the same.”
How it kills you: A simplistic and overgeneralized understanding of India
leads you to make offensive or ridiculous comments and behaviors that
alienate you from people and leave you without any real friends.
Prevention: Learn the different rules for different groups.
Photo Credit: Reverseson Flickr
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16. Grey Is White:
Death by Ambiguity
For many people, there is black and there is white. There are things that are
wrong and things that are right. This is a condition sociologists call
universalism. It means the rules are the same for all people all the time. We
all stop at the red light. Everyone is punished if they don’t pay their electricity
bill on time.
Everyone, always, never, all.
These are the words that make up the language of universalism.
For universalists, there is a little bit of “grey area” in life (i.e. assisted suicides,
self-defense murders). However, most things are black and white, and if it’s
grey, it may as well be black.
If that describes you, then you will have a very hard time here. India is a land
of grey. The white is grey, the black is grey, even the grey is more grey than
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17. you are comfortable with.
An expat friend of mine (Clark) was well-known among his Indian friends as
being a good writer and researcher. One day, one of Clark’s close Indian
friends (Shreyas) came up to him and asked if he would help their mutual
friend (Anand), who was at the end of a doctoral program, write a paper on
Emily Dickinson. Clark said, “Sure, I can edit it and look over it.” Then
Shreyas clarified that they actually wanted Clark to write the entire paper and
submit it for Anand.
For Clark, this was a clear moral boundary he was not willing to cross. How
can I write a paper for someone else when they are in a doctoral program? His
conscience would not allow him to participate.
But Shreyas looked at it differently. Anand was a close friend in need. His
family had given everything to put him through the program, and as soon as
he was finished, he would be able to provide for his family. Writing a paper
on Emily Dickinson seemed very unimportant overall to the major goal of
providing for your family. So why not help out someone who is in need,
especially when they are in your circle?
Although it may seem that the rules are always changing, there is actually a
very clear code of ethics that Indians follow. In India, ethics are not so much
situational as they are relational. What is “right” is first and foremost about
who is involved. Here is a hierarchy of filters that determines what is right in
the Indian context, the first being the most important:
1. What relationships are involved, and how will they be affected?
2. What is the cost to me (in terms of money, relationships, and time) with
each action?
3. What are the laws that govern this action?
17
18. Only if there is no clear answer from the first two questions are universal laws
even considered.
That’s how your grey becomes their white.
The Hindu concept of varnasramadharma says the correct action (dharma) is
based on both your stage of life and your position in society. Therefore, what
is right for you may not be right for someone else. Similarly, what is right for
you today may not be what is right for you two years from now.
Universal absolutes are not common in India, and you should stop looking for
them if you want to live here very long.
Vital Information:
Cause of Death: #GreyIsWhite
Who is at risk: Those with a harshly defined right/wrong mindset who think
everyone should always obey the rules all the time. Policy makers and those
attempting to establish office governance are also highly at risk.
How it kills you: You will see someone get away with something that seems
obviously wrong to you. Your conscience will demand that you valiantly go to
battle and do something about this injustice, only to find that you are fighting
all by yourself against an invincible army ready to squash you.
Prevention: Be very, very selective about what battles to fight, and learn to
justify actions based on relationship.
Photo Credit: rahuldluccaon Flickr
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19. The Customer Is Always There:
Death by Indifference
India has a unique relationship with customers.
In the early 1900s, Western retailers began saying “The customer is always
right”, to show a dedication to customer service.
In Japan, they use the phrase “The customer is god”, meaning that every
action you do should serve and honor the customer.
In India, your boss is always right and the guest is god. The customer
is...always there.
The customer is subject to a strong attitude of indifference. The nearby retail
shoe shop is filled with twenty associates who can ring up your order, but
none of them can distinguish between a loafer and a lace-up. The FRRO office
makes you wait in line for three hours before informing you that you are
missing one signature and must come back tomorrow to resubmit
everything. The complaint hotline for the taxi service is unbelievably complex
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20. to navigate, and they cut the call as soon as you start to explain your problem.
This suffering goes back to a reliance on systems. We expect the retail store to
have a no-questions-asked return policy when the pair of leggings you
bought has one leg 10 inches longer than the other. We expect the RTO to
have a straightforward and definite process to get a driver’s license. We
expect the associate for the internet service provider to call us back when we
leave a complaint.
However, if you are lucky enough that a system actually exists to address a
concern you have, that system cares nothing for you. It has no empathy for
you and does it’s best to get rid of you as quickly as possible. You are a tiny
blip on the radar and are bothering everyone else with your problems. This is
not just a challenge for foreigners. Most Indians also feel the pain of
indifference from the powers that be.
The entire justice system in India is set up to scare people away from starting
lawsuits. A dispute will take decades to settle and laws favor companies over
consumers. Only the most resilient (and well-backed) will get their disputes
settled.
Upon first coming to India, I chose a mobile phone provider. The coverage
was not great, the helpline was a black hole, and the service centers were the
most depressing places in the city. However, I eventually settled into a status
quo with them, which is exactly what the provider wanted.
I added an internet connection with the same provider, and tried to switch
plans a few months later. Suddenly, I received a bill for over Rs. 20,000 due to
their clerical error. I was extremely frustrated and wasted many hours of my
life on the phone threatening to leave for a different provider (which never
seemed to bother them).
After a lot of stressful calls, the charges were dropped, and the status quo
returned. Then a beautiful day came – Mobile Number Portability. The
government had made it possible to keep the same number and switch service
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21. providers. I was excited to be able to stick it to my old provider and show them
that they could not take me for granted. I switched my connection from the
existing one to a new promised land of great customer service in India.
Except I found that my new provider had worse coverage, the same hopeless
helplines, and has made it impossible to switch back now. It is a disaster I
have come to accept as reality.
Individual Indians are some of the most helpful and welcoming people you
can ever meet. Systems in India, however, are some of the most heartless.
There has been improvement in recent years, and some places offer incredible
customer service, but these are still very much the exception. This attitude of
complete indifference to you and your plight will be dangerous to your health
and might be the one that does you in in the end.
Vital Information:
Cause of Death: #CustomerIsAlwaysThere
Who is at risk: Individuals who believe they are entitled to an efficient and
responsive system of care and support from strangers.
How it kills you: You put your full trust in a system to take care of your
problem, and that system drops you like a hot samosa, without any warning.
Prevention: Don’t expect the system to work for you every time; no one else
does. Create relationships instead.
Photo Credit: jackol on Flickr
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22. Thin Skinned:
Death by Sensitivity
In a recent speech, Narayana Murthy, the founder of Infosys, listed things
Indians should improve on when interacting with the rest of the world. He
mentioned keeping time, being more direct, and then he said,
“We are perhaps the most thin-skinned nation in the world. We see insults
where none is meant. We get upset very easily. We think that somebody is
out to make India look bad.”
When I heard it, I thought to myself, “Oh no, can he really say that? Someone is
going to get offended that he mentioned that,” which, of course, validates exactly
what he said.
Indians tend to be a very sensitive people. They care very much how they are
viewed by the rest of the world and by each other. If anyone has a negative
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23. opinion of India, Indians will be quick to say why that view is unjustified or
largely untrue. Search any public forum where people are commenting on
India to see an example. One writer recently commented that if webhosts
were required to remove all material that any Indian user might find
objectionable, “We would be left only with the stock prices”.
The first time I noticed this intense sensitivity was the release of the movie,
Slumdog Millionaire. Not since IndianaJonesand the Temple ofDoom had there
been a broadly viewed mainstream movie focused on India. To outsiders, it
seemed like India should be thrilled to be the focus of such a huge
blockbuster and highly awarded movie. (AR Rahman’s Oscars are a feather in
India’s cap they will never forget.)
Thus, I was surprised to hear it was generating a lot of stir and controversy in
India. Many people felt the film’s focus on slum life and communal violence
gave a disproportionately negative view of India. The truth of this claim is a
different subject, but the point is that most Indians would have much
preferred Danny Boyle to make a movie about the life of Amitabh Bachchan.
They always want their best face forward, and for them, this movie was not a
good face at all.
I used to put together corporate presentations about India, and pulled visuals
from a lovely collection of photos taken by expatriates in India. When in
India, what do expats take pictures of? Posh residential setups? New
corporate buildings? Upwardly mobile New Indians?
No, by and large, expats take pictures of Indian weddings, nature scenes, and
Majority Indians and their kids.
Time and time again, I was told in subtle and unsubtle ways to change a
picture because the image did not reflect the kind of India the Indian
management wanted to show to the world.
23
24. In The Argumentative Indian, Amartya Sen interprets the "thinskinnedness"
of India based on its colonial baggage. He says the British continually
reminded them (incorrectly) that their intellectual achievements in
mathematics, science, and technology were not legitimate and well behind
the European world. Sen suggests this permanently damaged their self-
respect and forced them to look for it elsewhere.
Whatever the backstory may be, the Indian propensity towards getting
offended easily presents a field of landmines waiting for you to step on. It is
essential that you know the taboos and sensitive areas of the “Indias” you
interact with, or else you could end up unknowingly ruining relationships
forever.
Vital Information:
Cause of Death: #ThinSkinned
Who is at risk: People who like to “tell it like it is” and those without an
awareness of the common ways Indians get offended.
How it kills you: An overly direct statement, a casual comment about how
important you think Pakistan is, or an innocent reference to someone’s
darker complexion prevents any growth in relationship among individuals
and groups that you need to survive here.
Prevention: Know the common landmines and be sensitive to learning new
ones.
Photo Credit: Sreejithk2000 on WikimediaCommons
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25. Time is Eternal:
Death by Delay
One of the first complaints you will hear about India is that it operates on IST
or Indian Stretchable Time.
My first interaction with this concept happened during a training program
with a group of young freshers. As we neared a break, I looked down and my
watch read 10:33. I said, “Let’s all get back together at 10:48.” Several of
them looked up and gave me the strangest, most confused look I had seen
since I tried to explain daylight savings [non-existent in India].
I soon realized that this time, 10:48, had no meaning to them. They had
heard of 10:45 and 10:50, but this seemed to be the first time anyone had
actually spoken of the time 10:48 in their presence.
In India, time is not made up of minutes or seconds. It cannot be broken
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26. down into equal, countable parts. Time is made up of events, priorities,
projects your boss gives you, or waiting for your friend to SMS you back.
Time for an Indian is like water for a fish. Why do I need to start counting
water droplets when I’m swimming in the ocean?
Here’s a bit of way-way-background information. In Hindu philosophy, time
is broken up into four yugs (ages) of differing lengths of time. Each full cycle
of all four yugs (4-8 billion years) is equivalent to one day in the life of Brahma
(the creator god). A year for Brahma takes around 3 trillion solar years. It is
believed that Brahma is about 50 years old now.
While not all Indians grow up learning Vedanta philosophy, you can start to
see where a few minutes and even days here and there don’t matter much.
When in India, one must remember that time is no different than air, water,
and fire. It can be manipulated, but it must be respected. It can be used, but
don’t be a fool and think that you can dominate it, divide it, categorize it, and
force it to do your bidding. Time is eternal.
In everyday life, planning and scheduling are always in flux. The meeting you
made today is much more likely to be delayed than to actually happen. Things
happen when they will, not usually when you want them to.
Not only does time flow freely and refuse to be contained, it is also used to
validate relationships.
I heard the story of an expatriate working in India for a small family business.
He had a one-hour weekly meeting with the leadership team from 3-4pm.
One week, he set up a meeting with a vendor for 4pm. The leadership
meeting was going long, and he excused himself from the meeting at 3:55 to
go meet the vendor.
After the vendor meeting, he returned to his desk, and could sense a cold
atmosphere around him. His boss called him into his office. When the expat
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27. sat down, the boss asked him bluntly, “Why don’t you have any respect for us?”
Shocked, the expat asked what made it seem like he had no respect. His boss
answered “How can you give more importance to a vendor than your team?”
In India, time is not just a measurement to get things done, it is also a
currency you use to show who is important in your life. The CEO of the IT
company must stop what he is doing and answer his auntie’s call about how
to reset her wireless router. The new salesman must be willing to take his
boss’s call at any time of the day or night.
India’s preference for delay and its use of time to validate relationships are
dangers you should be aware of early on. In meetings that ran late, I used to
anxiously look at my watch, and send not-so-subtle body language hints to
communicate that I was upset that we were taking so much time (even if I had
no particular place I had to be). This not only created an enormous amount of
stress in me, it also ruined some relationships and made people
uncomfortable around me.
Slowly prying a few fingers off of your tight hold of time will work out for the
best, and increase your life expectancy in India.
Ok, so we’ll give alittle extrawiggle room and make it 10:49 then?
Vital Information:
Cause of Death: #TimeIsEternal
Who is at risk: Those who think you can schedule something a week in
advance, never refer to it again, and expect it to happen exactly on time.
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28. Those who feel justified leaving an event or meeting if it has exceeded its
original time length. Those who feel it is rude and disrespectful to show up
five minutes after a scheduled meeting.
How it kills you: Delays and overstays mount up until you realize that you
actually didn’t accomplish any item from your to-do list last week, which
forces you to try to control your schedule more, which turns into a vicious
cycle leading to your doom.
Prevention: Loosen your grip on time, and start using it as a currency to
validate relationships.
Photo Credit: sudamshu on Flickr
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29. Chaos Beats Logic:
Death by Disorder
A small company decides to throw a big event in one month’s time and invite
lots of VIPs. Logic is sitting in the initial meeting thinking, “Are they nuts?
We’ll need twice the number ofpeople and twice the time to pull thisthing off. They
are going to make foolsofusall.”
3 weeks prior to the event: Nothing happens. Logic says, “Ha, they are digging
themselvesdeeper into thishole. I said it wouldn’t work.”
2 weeks prior: The key event owners make some casual plans about what
needs to be done. Logic says, “It’salittle late now. There’shardly any time left.
There’sno way thisisgoing to happen.”
1 week prior: Everyone is told what they need to do and put on high alert.
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30. 1 week prior: Everyone is told what they need to do and put on high alert.
Lots of activity starts to happen. Chaos strolls into the office. Logic says,
“What are you doing here? You think you can pull thisoff? Not even you can make
thisthing work.”
2 days prior: Chaos is in full control, telling everyone what they must do:
printing, calling, arranging, yelling. Everyone obeys Chaos’ lead. Logic grows
resentful, “Who gave you the right to bossme around? Where have you been this
whole time?”
Morning of the event: Chaos is in his height of glory and forces people to
show up at 6am. Everyone is there, even Logic, who is bitter, but still comes.
“May aswell be here to watch it all fall down.”
4 hours prior: Chaos is setting up chairs and the dais. Logic is worried about if
the souvenirs should be arranged symmetrically or in a design.
3 hours prior: The backdrop banner is put up only to reveal that the chief
guest’s name is wrong. Logic leaps up and says “Ha! I wasright! Thisisgoing to
fail!”
2 hours prior: Chaos jumps on his motorcycle, goes to the printer, and gets a
new sign printed in 30 minutes. He then grabs a friend and weaves in and out
of traffic carrying the 20-foot banner.
Starting time: Chaos arrives and puts up the new banner. The chief guest calls
to say she will be 30 minutes late. No guests have arrived yet. Logic is silent.
30 minutes later: The chief guest arrives, the correctly-spelled banner is
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31. revealed, the event is a rousing success and all the guests compliment the
food. Logic feels sheepish, but makes a list of all the things that didn’t go
perfectly, and then eats the food.
Day after: The whole team gathers and celebrates the amazing event and tells
Logic they will definitely plan it better next time.
In India, Chaos beats Logic. Every time. Make sure Chaos is on your team.
Vital Information:
Cause of Death: #ChaosBeatsLogic
Who is at risk: Those who like to make a comprehensive plan and put it on
autopilot until it is completed.
How it kills you: Your plan will quickly disintegrate, and without experience
and a large, dependable social network, your project or event will fail. You
will blame the system, the country, and everyone else, and your frustration
will mount until you finally give up.
Prevention: Don’t expect anything to work without some help along the way.
Find people around you that you can trust to help you in moments of chaos.
Treat those people very well!
Photo credit: Alex Graveson Flickr
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32. About the Author
I am a writer and cultural consultant who moved to Chennai, India in 2010.
Despite preparing for India with a lot of reading and meeting people, nothing
could have prepared me for what I experienced trying to start my own
business and then working with a mid-sized family-owned Indian company.
Every time I thought India would finally get the best of me, I added a layer to
my understanding of India, and continue to build on my learning today.
This guide is the result of hard-learned lessons about surviving and thriving
in India. My hope is that whatever your relationship is with India, something
here will help you see it through fresh eyes and take a new approach.
These are my personal reflections on India and should be applied discretely.
While I have traveled around much of India, and have consulted with Indians
from the Middle and North, most of my experiences have been based in the
South, and you might find that bias in my writing.
I write regularly at http://learningindia.in.
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33. Acknowledgements
Some of the chapters of this book are expanded, revised, and updated
versions of articles written by the author, which first appeared in Culturama
Magazine.
IndiasNot Indiais based on the article entitled "Binding Factor" in the July
2013 issue.
Grey isWhite is based on the article entitled "Grey Area"in the October 2013
issue.
Time isEternal is based on the article entitled "Whose time is it anyway?" in
the November 2013 issue.
ChaosBeatsLogic is based on the article entitled "Logical Chaos" in the
December 2013 issue.
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