Dysfunctional patterns of handling conflict sabotage trust and lead to the sort of individualistic culture that prevents true and lasting Agile transformation. The Drama Triangle is a well-established model that describes what underlies such unhealthy dynamics. Luckily, there are things you can learn to break the pattern, with spectacular results for yourself, your team, and your entire organization. The "Breaking Out of the Drama Triangle" workshop introduces you to these basic concepts with some practical takeaways you can immediately apply

1. Breaking Out of the Drama
Triangle
A RECIPE FOR BETTER CULTURE

2. Greg Selvin
Agile coach at WWT Asynchrony Labs, based out of
Denver
greg.selvin@asynchrony.com
m 720.588.2899
https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregselvin/

3. What is the Drama Triangle?
▶ Invented by psychologist Stephen Karpman in the
late 1960’s
▶ A model to describe unhealthy conflict and
dysfunctional and sometimes codependent
relationships
▶ Grew out of the therapeutic field of transactional
analysis
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

4. Introduction to the Drama
Triangle
Persecutor
Rescuer Victim
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

5. Conflict Style
▶ The Drama Triangle contains 3 different conflict
styles
▶ These styles interact in dysfunctional ways
▶ People tend to switch between the three conflict
styles based on the situation and relationship(s)
▶ There is a tendency in most people to have a
primary conflict style
▶ A person’s conflict style can switch in different
situations and relationships
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

6. The Drama
Triangle
Roles

7. The Victim Role
▶ Relies on others to solve his or her problems
▶ Can lead to catastrophizing
▶ Tries to gain sympathy through telling stories about
how he or she has been wronged or hurt
▶ Focuses on what he or she doesn’t like about their
circumstances, what they “don’t want” or “don’t
like”
▶ Often plays the persecutor role towards himself or
herself
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

8. The Rescuer Role
▶ Acts as the ‘fixer’ of problems
▶ Assumes another’s problems as a means of control
▶ Fears conflict
▶ Requires validation and needs to be needed
▶ Seeks a Victim to save
▶ Often takes on more work, even when another
person can (more appropriately) do the work him or
herself.
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

9. The Persecutor Role
▶ Acts out in a bullying manner
▶ Places blame on others
▶ Authoritarian – seeks to control the situation
▶ Inflexible
▶ Needs to “win”
▶ Most fears becoming the Victim
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

10. The Drama
Triangle
Culture

11. Victim Culture
A victim culture evinces …
▶ Conflict avoidance
▶ Gloom-and-doom mentality
▶ Learned helplessness
▶ Low morale and engagement
▶ Lack of initiative
▶ Apathy
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

13. Rescuer Culture
A rescuer culture evinces …
▶ Lack of innovation
▶ Fear of failure
▶ Dependence and even resentment of the leader
▶ Analysis paralysis
▶ Death by meetings
▶ Death by data
▶ Siloes and lack of knowledge sharing
▶ Low collaboration
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

15. Persecutor Culture
A persecutor culture evinces …
▶ Cutthroat culture
▶ Secrecy, hiding, and avoidance
▶ Anxiety
▶ High turnover
▶ Low accountability
▶ Fear of failure
▶ Zero-sum game mentality (You win, I lose)
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

17. The Winner’s
Triangle
Moving towards health

18. The Winner’s Triangle
Assertive
Caring Vulnerable
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

19. Victim to Vulnerable
Victim Vulnerable
Learn the basic skill of creative problem solving
What is the link between being
vulnerable and creative problem solving?
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

20. The Vulnerable Role
▶ Owns difficult situations as problems to be solved
▶ Sees failure as feedback
▶ Articulates concerns (non-avoidant)
▶ Has self-compassion
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

22. Rescuer to Caring
Rescuer Caring
Learn the basic skill of active listening
In what way(s) is active listening
important to caring?
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

23. The Caring Role
▶ Lets go of the need for control
▶ Listens without trying to fix
▶ Asks thoughtful, non-accusatory questions
▶ Knows when to say no
▶ Delegates
▶ Exhibits humility
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

25. Persecutor to Assertive
Persecutor Assertive
Learn the basic skill of boundary setting
How do healthy boundaries
prevent persecution?
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

26. The Assertive Role
▶ Expresses needs in a direct and diplomatic way
▶ Practices empathy
▶ Tends to express thoughts in terms of “I or me”
instead of “you”
▶ Values the thoughts and opinions of others – “We”
Passive
You Win
Aggressive
I Win
Assertive
No need to win
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

28. Healthy
Culture
Moving away from the
Drama Triangle

29. Healthy Culture
▶ Respectful
▶ Innovative
▶ Focused on real priorities
▶ Aligned
▶ Collaborative
When you move away from the Drama Triangle, you may see the
following cultural changes . . .
▶ Transparent
▶ Joyful
▶ Problem focused
▶ Accountable
. . . What cultural shifts might you anticipate?
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

30. Key Takeaways
1. Knowing some indicators that exhibit dysfunctional roles and
behavior
1. Some simple steps to move to health, functional relationship
dynamics
1. Address dysfunction at the interpersonal level to lay the
foundation for a healthier culture
Prepared in 2018 by Greg Selvin

31. </end> Questions?