1. Freddy
123 Kitty Street, Catland,Ontario, Canada | 555-LAZY | freddy@catmail.com
Objective
· To get fed
Education
HOMESCHOOLED | 2002 | THE LOCAL DUCK FARM
· Major: Sitting on tractor wheels
· Minor: Sleeping
· Related coursework: Getting adopted away from the farm so he wouldn’t die in the farm machinery
PRIVATE TUTORING | 2002-2013 | MINA
· Major: How to open doors
· Minor: Overgrooming
· Related coursework: eating human food, licking up yogurt and smoothies and cat vomit.
Skills & Abilities
PUNCTUALITY
· Very early riser
· Reliable
AUTONOMOUS
· Does not come when called
DEDICATION
· Extremely focused
· Does not distract easily
· Quite probably legitimately OCD
NOISE MAKING; SPECIALITYIN ANNOYING NOISES
· Knocking the following off tables:
· coins
· receipts
· eyeglasses
· water glasses
· lamps
· fragile jewelry boxes
· cell phones
· everything but the stuffed animals

2. Page 2
· Meowing in faces
· Purring while sitting on heads
· Licking foreheads
· Licking long hair and getting it caught in his scratchy little tongue and trying to spit it out awkwardly while making mild
retching noises
· Rustling in plastic bags
· Sitting on piles of loose paper,lifting them up and letting them fall, making persistent “fwip” noises for at least 30
minutes straight
· Lifting chunks of pages in text books and dropping them
· Lifting the furnace ventilation grates and dropping them
· Poking at loose aluminum beverage cans
· Pawing at electrical and power cords so they bang against each other, the wall, and the floor
· Knocking ceramic dishes to the floor and smashing them
· Lying on chests and purring
· Pushing around cutlery in ceramic bowls to make it clink
· Batting around paper receipts on the floor
Experience
FOOD ACQUISITION | PRIVATE BUSINESS | 2002-PRESENT
· Making sure food happens in the bowls
ALARM CLOCK | PRIVATE BUSINESS | 2002-PRESENT
· Waking the people up
· Making sure food happens in the bowls
Extra-curricular Activities
· Excessive obsessive belly-licking
· Under-cover snuggling
· Chewing on plants
· Sitting in cardboard boxes with nose firmly jammed in a corner
· Nesting