Many people need assistance to help pull them out of their shells or allow them to go after something they've wanted for awhile. I'm here to give that assistance and help people empower themselves into taking more risks by teaching mental and physical lifehacks on how to be confident.
10. Breathe from the Diaphragm
https://www.sltinfo.com/effective-voice-production/
11. Projection Exercises
• Exercises can be found at
– http://bit.ly/voice_projection
• Voice Volume Visualizer 3000 by Carrie Scono
– http://bit.ly/volume_visualizer
27. Mental Confidence Hacks
• Positive Affirmations
• Powerful Language
• Give Yourself Permission
• Don’t Take It Personally
• Speak For Your Group
• Careful Comparisons
33. Confidence LifeHacks
• Physical
– Power Pose
– Speak Strongly
– Self Care
• PRACTICE
– Volunteer
– Compete
– Coach
• Mental
– Positive
Affirmations
– Powerful Language
– Give Permission
– It’s Not Personal
– Speak For Your Group
– Careful Comparisons
34. Important Links
• http://bit.ly/power_pose
– Amy Cuddy “Your Body Language May Shape
Who You Are” TED Talk
• http://bit.ly/voice_projection
– Voice projection exercises from Speech
and Language Therapy Information
• http://bit.ly/volume_visualizer
– Voice Volume Visualizer 3000 Code Pen
• http://bit.ly/i_am_awesome
– I Am Awesome Code Pen
• http://bit.ly/positive_affirmation
– Science behind positive affirmations
Who here has played sports? Even just in gym class?
Who remembers what it was like to play well? Mental state during the game?
Who remembers what is was like to play poorly? Mental state during the game?
Key difference between the two is often not physical skill, but confidence you have in your skills
I am coach of a co-ed high school Ultimate team. My primary responsibility is girls during games. Girls win games.
Girls were having a bad game. Go to next slide when I teach power poses to them
Only change that was made. They had the same skills/knowledge as before
Started playing the best game of their lives
Went from the bottom to the top of the stat sheet
Every girl I coach learns 3 things: don’t say sorry, don’t say can’t, power pose
Coach HS Ultimate
Play Ultimate at a highly competitive level
Volunteer for CUPA
Secretary of the Board, Co-Chair of Women’s Committee
Senior Dev at Kroger on one of our microservices teams
“And I’m here today to cover”
cover a series of “lifehacks” that I’ve picked up through the years. But before we get to that, we’re going to take a small time out to talk about something very important to me: Ultimate Frisbee. Giving a quick explanation of the rules now gives more context to many of the things I talk about later.
All of these are things that I have used in my personal life and I’ve def noticed a positive change using them. I went from being a pretty shy/apprehensive/anxious developer to someone who can take charge and is now up here giving a speech. I’ve noticed these changes have opened a lot more opportunities for me and I want you all to gain these skills to help find the opportunities too.
People’s first impression of you is often a very visual one that stems from how you hold yourself.
Look around at how we’re sitting, who’s drawn into themselves? Who’s spread out? Who would you believe or go to for help?
Call attention to the TED talk
High power poses are positioned designed spread you out to lower cortisol(stress) and increase testosterone(aggression)
Where I’ve seen these in action: Ultimate field
You will feel silly the first time you hold these.
At work: I avoid the low power poses. Don’t need to sit like this all the time. Take up the space you need.
Go in the bathroom to hold a pose for a few seconds if I need to.
Started speech today with a power pose to give a little boost.
Low power poses attract the wrong attention.
If you appear confident, people will treat you like you’re confident
Talk about the speakers from Stir Trek and how they owned the room.
But standing strongly isn’t the only thing….you must also speak strongly
This is both in text and your speaking voice.
“I thinking of this…..” or “I’m sorry, but…” vs. “here’s the answer. Here’s the data”
“breathe from the diaphragm” is pretty terrible advice. No one knows what or where that is, we’re not biologists.
it's possible to say "i don't know" confidently
Giving yourself time to practice self care lets you know that you are worth it.
About putting yourself FIRST.
Sick or concussed and coming in? Telling yourself that work is more important than you.
Self care routines can vary and be super simple or extravagant.
Can have more than one self care routine.
Can have standard routines and “Treat yo self” routines.
Now that we're sounding and looking confident, we will go through a series of mental tricks to help us believe that we are more confident
Pretty common piece of advice.
Told it to myself, told it to others, had others start telling it to me, then I started to believe it
This is what works for me.
Slews of positive affimations all over the internet, you can go find them. Or you can make one yourself
Story: going on strike
Learning the right words to use when talking to yourself makes a world a difference
Gave an example for when we don’t want to do something , but what if there’s something we want to do?
Story: Captain at a tournament told us this so we would call more fouls. I thought it was stupid
Months later: Terrible night sleep, Stella on my pillow. Gave myself permission to kick her off
Shortly after that: Doing code review, came across bad styles, texted a teammate
Realized later that I was asking for permission and decided that was stupid.
Gave myself permission to do my job.
Since then, I’ve taken more responsibility, gone after a few things,
“but I gave myself permission and co-workers are the worst”
Took me several months to figure out this piece of advice. It’s what I do, why wouldn’t I take it personally?
Totally fine to take pride in accomplishments. When my tech lead tells me I did a good job, you better believe I take that home with me
Negative interactions are where this comes into play. They are not responding negatively to me, they are responding negatively to the shoes I’m filling
Think about my career before this advice and everything is negative. After is positive.
The positivity allows me to bolster myself up.
“Okay, I’m following all these things and I’m still struggling to speak up”
Advice I’d been following for awhile, but recently put into words through a story from
Madeline Albright’s first UN meeting. Didn’t put pressure on herself to talk until she sat down in front of “America” and had an “oh crap” moment.
Junior Dev on team told us he was going to start fighting for the users. Immediately made a ton of Tron references, but he spoke up more.
In large meetings, your voice represents your team. In your team, your voice can represent areas of the code/user base
Madeline says “learn to interrupt”. I say “1 voice at a time”
Comparing yourself to others can be tricky. If you only compare yourself to people who you perceive as better than you, you will always fall short.
Physical Therapist called me an elite athlete. I was like “no buddy, here’s a list of thousands of people in the world who are better athletes than me”.
I was only comparing myself to other athletes, not including non athletes. Physical therapist was comparing me to non athletes(first time this happened)
Low stress way to practice skills. Can get into leadership positions sooner than you would at work.
Meet people outside of your job to help get you get perspectives/advice from an outside group
Volunteering for CUPA gave me skills running large meetings so I was ready for it when the opportunity came up at work
Fiancee volunteers and a few months ago sent an email to more than 2 people for the first time
Competition can help improve confidence
I like sports, but it doesn’t have to be
Don’t need to compete against others, can compete against yourself
It’s not about winning or losing, it’s about improving
Teaching someone a skill can help you realize your knowledge
You get to watch someone else succeed in something that you taught them
We have the high schoolers I coach coach 8-13 year olds
Briefly mention each thing in a wrap up
“we’ve learned to physical portray confidence with..”
“Mentally, we’re prepared to trick ourselves into being confident by…”
“And We’ve learned how to practice through...”