1.
Overcoming Obstacles to Self-
Confidence
Presented by Monique Tallon
CEO, Highest Path Consulting

2.
Agenda
• Introduction
• Why Does Self-Confidence Matter?
• Definition of Self-Confidence
• What are the Barriers to Self-
Confidence?
• Tools for Building Self-Confidence

3.
Who Am I?

4.
My background
• 10 years in corporate
environments in Silicon
Valley
• Led large tradeshows and
conferences for a Fortune
500 company
• Started Highest Path
Consulting in 2008
• Executive coaching and
corporate trainer in Diversity
& Inclusion, Gender, and
Leadership Development

5.
It Impacts How We Value Ourselves
• According to studies, women believe
they are 20% less valuable than men
when asked what they deserve to earn
in salary
Marilyn J. Davidson and Ronald J. Burke, Women in Management Worldwide (Aldershot: Ashgate, 2004)

6.
It Impacts How We Perceive Ourselves
• According to another study, when
asked to assess how well they
answered questions on a quiz, women
rated themselves as correctly
answering 5.8 out of 10, men 7.1 out of
10.
• Their actual performance scores were
about the same.
David Dunning, Kerri Johnson, Joyce Ehrlinger, and Justin Kruger, “Why People Fail to Recognize their Own
Incompetence,” Current Directions in Psychological Science, no. 3

7.
It Impacts Our Ambition
• The same people were asked to
participate in a science competition.
• Only 49% of women signed up vs. 71%
of men
David Dunning, Kerri Johnson, Joyce Ehrlinger, and Justin Kruger, “Why People Fail to Recognize their Own
Incompetence,” Current Directions in Psychological Science, no. 3

8.
It Impacts Our Voice
• During a Princeton study, they found
women when in a minority, spoke 75%
less than men when having to work
together to solve a budget challenge
Christopher F. Karpowtiz, Tali Mendelberg, and Lee Shaker, “Gender inequality in deliberative participation,” American
Political Science Review 106, no. 3 (2012)

9.
The Gender Gap Persists
• Because of lack of self-confidence and a lack of
belief in themselves, women...
• Dont apply for certain jobs
• Dont speak up and voice their opinions
• Dont negotiate competitive salaries
• Dont aim for jobs in STEM or male dominated
fields
• Dont ask for a promotion
• Fill in the blank...

10.
So What is
Confidence
Really?

11.
Success =
Confidence,
not just
Competence

12.
Confidence Defined
• A belief we can create a successful
outcome through our actions
• Confidence is a feeling we experience in
ourselves

13.
Confidence is What Sways
• Confident people are more admired to,
listened to and have more sway in
discussions and decisions.

14.
Confidence = Happiness
• Confident people are happier, more
fulfilled and feel more on purpose

15.
What are the
Barriers to Self-
Confidence?

16.
Gender Bias

17.
Unconscious
Bias

18.
Lack of
Supportive
Mentors &
Role Models

19.
Tools for
Building Self-
Confidence

20.
First Step: Awareness
• Become familiar with the voices in your head!
• What is your Inner Critic telling you?
• What is the negative dialogue in your head
saying?
• Start noticing the words that pop up and what the
impact is when you listen to them

21.
Exercise#1: Identify the Inner Critic
• What are the words of your your Inner
Critic? Jot them down on the handout.
• Examples: I’m not good enough, I’m not
qualified, I’m not competent…

22.
Next Step: Access Your Inner Mentor
• Replace the negative statements with
positive ones from your Inner Mentor
• Jot down the words of your Inner Mentor
on the handout
• Examples: I am perfect as I am, I deserve it,
I am good enough…

23.
Practice Makes Perfect
• Rewiring the brain’s neural pathways takes
work
• Notice each time the Inner Critic shows up
• Learn to access your Inner Mentor
• Practice self-empathy and kindness
towards yourself

24.
Body Wisdom
• Helps us when we feel stuck or need to
make a decision
• Helps us develop a positive relationship
with our body
• Builds integrity and trust with ourselves
• Practice and leverage in your day to day

25.
Exercise #2: Body Wisdom
• Bring to mind a situation where you
currently feel stuck or where you need to
make a difficult decision

26.
4-Step Body Wisdom Exercise

27.
4-Step Body Wisdom Exercise
• Centering: Drop down into your body
• Listening: Listen to your body’s signals –
emotions, feelings, sensations
• Curiosity: Get curious to find out the
meaning behind those signals
• Shifting: Make a new choice based on your
findings

28.
Exercise #3: Power Positions
• Our brain is connected to our body and
takes signals from the body
• Inhabit confident and powerful body
language to shift your mindset
• Practice your power pose
• Fake it till you make it

29.
More Tips
• Fail Faster
• Leave your Comfort Zone
• Don’t Ruminate
• Don’t take things personally
• Speak Up, without apology
• Be authentic
• Get enough sleep and exercise
• Form supportive networks of women
• Find your mentors/role models
• Celebrate yours and others successes!

30.
Thank You!
Get in touch:
monique@highestpath.com
www.moniquetallon.com
FB: facebook.com/m.svazlian.tallon
Twitter: @moniquetallon