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Agenda
Understanding communication
Communication Barriers
Para-verbal Communication Skills
Non-verbal Communication
STAR speaking
Listening Skills
Questioning Techniques
Providing Feedback
Networking Skills
Non-violent Communication Introduction
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Team discussion
1. What is communication?
2. Sharing 3 examples you missed opportunities
because of lack of communication?
3. How do we communicate effectively?
Pre-Assignment
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Part 1
Understanding Communication
What is Communication?
How Do We Communicate?
Communication Factors
One-Way versus Two-Way Communication
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What is Communication?
Communication:
– The imparting or interchange of thoughts,
opinions, or information by speech, writing, or
signs. Random House Dictionary
The effectiveness of communication
– Ability to solve problems
– Productivity
– Level of stress
– Relationships with others
– Ability to meet your goals and achieve your
dreams
– Level of satisfaction with your life
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One-Way versus Two-Way
Communication
Advantage
Versus
Disadvantage?
The Sender wants one-way communication, but the Receiver
always wants two-way communication!
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Part 2
Communication Barriers
Common Barriers
The Barriers From Sender
The Barriers From Receiver
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Common Barriers (1)
Team members often tell that:
– “I can’t explain the problem to the other
person that they understand.”
– “I can’t present the idea to my manager
what I mean.”
– “I don’t have enough time and tools to
communicate effectively the solution.”
– “I’m stressed, I can’t listen to the speaker.”
– “The person I am trying to communicate with
doesn’t want to listen me.”
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Common Barriers (2)
Language barriers
– Speak different languages.
– Not the first language for one or more people
involved in the communication.
– Speak the same language, but are from
different regions.
Culture barriers
– Different cultures
– Different classes
– Different lifestyles
Differences in time and place
– These barriers often occur when people are
in different time zones, or different places.
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The Barriers From Sender
Don’t know what the receiver expects.
Using a large amount of words to convey
messages.
Conveying many issues in a single message that
make the receiver confused.
Going around and not straight to main points of a
conversation.
Wrong assumption about the receiver’s
knowledge and skills to understand.
Using unfamiliar words, examples or using
figurative meaning words that can be understood
in different ways.
Talking when the receiver is distracted.
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The Barriers From Receiver
Not paying attention.
Depending on the receiver’s thoughts.
Being suppressed by emotion.
Tending to listen to what one wants to see or
hear.
Listening inactively
– Not observing one’s body language
Communicating in the uncomfortable manner.
Tending to resist any message in contrast with
self belief or assumption
Jumping to conclusion.
Not asking question to make clear when not
understanding any point.
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Part 3
Para-verbal Communication
“I didn’t say you were stupid”
“I didn’t say you were stupid!”
“I didn’t say you were stupid!”
The Power of Pitch
The Truth About Tone
The Strength of Speed
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The Power of Pitch
People will pick up on the
pitch of your voice and react
to it.
A high pitch is often
interpreted as anxious or
upset.
A low pitch sounds more
serious and authoritative.
The variation in the pitch of your voice is important
to keep the other party interested.
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The Truth About Tone
Tips:
– Trying lowering the pitch of your voice a bit
– Smile! This will warm up anyone’s voice
– Sitting up straight and listen
– Monitoring your inner monologue
– Negative thinking will seep into the tone of
your voice
Communicating over the telephone,
84% of communication is vocal and 16% is verbal!
Source: “Communication Factors” Book, Peterson, Russ, and K. Karschnik
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The Strength of Speed
Speed can affect :
– Your listener’s level interest
– The comprehensibility of your
message
– Your tone and pitch
Tips:
– Trying speak slowly and clearly.
– Smile! This will help you keep calm.
– Monitoring your speaking speed.
– Nervousness will impact to you
strength of speed.
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Part 4
Non-Verbal Communication
Using Body Language Effectively
Expressing Messages by Body Language
Body Language
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Using Body Language Effectively
Body
Language, 54%
Voice, 39%
Words, 7%
Power of Body Language in Communication
Source: www.voiceworks.co.za/
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Expressing Messages by
Body Language
Eyes
Face
Body
Posture
Hair
Clothing
Cosmetics
Accessories and jewelry
Gesture
Touch
Space
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Body Language
Standing - Sitting
Sitting hunched over typically
– Stress
– Discomfort
Leaning back when standing or
sitting
– Casual
– Relaxed demeanor
Standing ramrod straight typically
– Stiffness
– Anxiety
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Crossed arms and legs
often
– Closed mind
Body Language
Hands, Arms, Feet, Legs
Fidgeting
– Boredom
– Nervousness
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Smiles
Frowns
Raised eyebrow
– Inquisitiveness
– Curiosity
– Disbelief
Chewing lips
– Thinking
– Boredom
– Anxiety or nervousness
Body Language
Facial Expressions
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Part 5
STAR Speaking
Help send message clearly, completely,
correctly and concisely !
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STAR
Situation – Task – Action - Result
Situati
on
• Stating what the situation is.
• Where? Who? When?
Task
• Stating what your task was.
• What?
• Why?
Action
• Stating what you did to resolve the problem.
• How?
Result
• Stating what the result was.
• Using a combination of the six roots (Who? What? When?
Where? Why? How?)
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Part 6
Listening Skills
The Power of Listening
Gripes About Managers
Categories of Listeners
Barriers to Effective Listening
Active Listening
Active Listening Tips
Active Listening and
Interactive Management
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Listening, 45%
Speaking, 30%
Reading, 16%
Writing, 9%
Communication
Source: Dr. Lyman K. Steil in “You are the Message” Book
What is your communication rate ?
The Power of Listening
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Gripes About Managers
“My manager does all the talking; I go in with a
problem and never have a chance to open my
mouth”
“He interrupts me when I talk”
“She never looks at me when I talk. She takes care
of her laptop. I’m not sure she’s listening.”
“His facial expression makes me feel I’m wasting
his time.”
“My manager sits too close to me.”
“His phone call interrupts my presentation”
“My manager is too easily distracted from
listening to me and my problem.”
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Categories of Listeners
The non-listener
The marginal
listener
Evaluative listener
The active listener
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Barriers to Effective Listening
Motivation and Attitude.
Lack of concentration and attention.
Negative attitude toward listening.
Experience and Background.
Poor listening setting.
Emotions.
Daydreaming and Fantasizing.
Delivery.
Lack of listening skills.
By nature, the act of hearing, perceiving, and retaining spoken information
that we call listening is an inefficient process
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Active Listening
Understanding active listening
1. Trying to identify where the other person
is coming from.
2. Listening to what is being said closely and
attentively.
3. Responding appropriately, either non-
verbally with a question or by
paraphrasing.
Sending good signals to others
– Showing your body language
– “uh-huh”, “mm-hmmm”, “wow”
– Asking open questions & summary
question.
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Active Listening Tips (1)
1. Remember that it is possible to listen and talk at the same
time.
2. Listen for the speaker’s main ideas.
3. Be sensitive to your emotional deaf spots.
4. Fight off distractions.
5. Try not to get angry.
6. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important.
7. Let your employees tell their own stories first.
8. Empathize with your employees.
9. Withhold judgment.
10. React to the message, not to the person.
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Active Listening Tips (2)
11. Try to appreciate the emotion behind the speaker’s words (vocal
and visual messages) more than the literal meaning of the words.
12. Use feedback.
13. Listen selectively.
14. Relax.
15. Try not to be critical, either mentally or verbally, of someone else’s
point of view, even if it is different from your own.
16. Listen attentively.
17. To the degree that it is in your power, try to create a positive
listening environment.
18. Ask questions.
19. Be motivated to listen.
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Active Listening and
Interactive Management
Listening isn’t take a secondary position to
speaking, but as important as other
communication skills.
– When no listens, it is pointless to speak.
Members feel relieved when they find managers
who understand what they have to say about
their problems.
– Truly understand your members by actively
listening to them, they will most likely
reciprocate by listening to you and trying to
understand your point of view.
If you are really willing to learn how to listen, it will take a lot of hard work
to learn the skills, and constant practice to keep them in shape!
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Ask the right questions at the right time to
help her/his members best is an essential
and integral part of interactive
management.
One of the most critical and valuable
tools in the manager’s communication
skills is her/his art of questioning.
Part 7
Questioning Techniques
Open Questions
Closed Questions
Probing Questions
Funnel Technique
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Probing Questions
Clarification
Completeness and Correctness
Determining Relevance
Drilling Down
Summarizing
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Funnel Technique
‘Tell me how you went about…?’ (open)
‘How did you prepare?’ (open – secondary)
‘What was your starting point?’ (probe)
‘So, what happened next?’ (probe)
‘Who else was involved?’ (probe)
‘And how did they respond?’ (probe)
‘What were your thoughts at that stage?’ (probe)
‘What were the main outcomes?’ (probe)
‘So, that took a total of six weeks?’ (closed –
clarifying)
‘Was it your idea or someone else’s?’ (closed –
clarifying)
‘And the patient made a full recovery?’ (closed –
clarifying)
‘So, let me see if I’ve followed you…’ (checking –
summary)
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Part 8
Providing Feedback
Using Feedback Effectively
Feedback: Place and Time
Feedback Approaches
The Feedback Sandwich
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Using Feedback Effectively
Types of feedback
– Verbal or written feedback
– Fact feedback
– Feeling feedback
Using feedback effectively
– Giving and getting definitions
– Don’t assume
– Asking questions
– Speaking the same language
– Keeping tuned it
– Withholding feedback
Giving feedback on the behavior, not the person!
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Feedback: Place and Time
Place
– Somewhere quiet, like an office or meeting
room
Time
– The feedback needs to come as soon as
possible after the event.
– If a person has done something that violates a
given rule, you may have to act immediately.
• Making sure you can control your own
emotions so you will avoid saying something
that you might later regret.
• Applying non-violent communication.
Recognition or reward should be given in public,
but a negative feedback needs to keep in private!
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Feedback Approaches
Informal feedback
– Recognizing something that has been
learned and properly applied to the
workplace, or offering a small reward for
overall performance.
Formal feedback
– Being often used with certain benchmarks
and at certain times of the year.
360-degree performance
– A tool solicits feedback from people within a
360-degree radius of the team member
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The Feedback Sandwich
Make a specific positive comment
Offer critique or suggestions for improvement
Make an overall positive comment
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Part 9
Networking Skills
Making a First Impression
Effective Introduction
3C Projecting
Making a Handshake
Using Business Cards
Organizing Your Contact List
4-Stage Effective Short Conversation
Minimizing Nervousness
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Making a First Impression
Well prepared
– Dress code
– Name card
– Route to the meeting location
– The discussion topic and the
people will meet.
Effective introduction
3C Projecting
– Confidence – Competence - Credibility
When you’re networking,
it’s important to make the best of the first meeting.
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Effective Introduction
• Mind your body language
• Warm handshake
Projecting warmth and confidence.
• “Good morning! I’m John Live, sales executive of
TrainingStore company.”
• Giving your name card.
Stating your full name, position and company.
• “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. John Live”
• Repeating their name is an acknowledgment that you heard
their introduction
Repeating the name of the other person when
greeting.
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Projecting Confidence
Straight - relaxed posture
Holding your head high and
steady
– Don’t slouch or slump.
Moving in a natural,
unaffected manner
Maintaining eye contact with
the people you are talking to
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Projecting Competence
Exhibiting your knowledge
– Knowing the agenda and the
meeting topics.
– Being prepared for the meeting.
– Preparing supportive materials to
emphasize your points.
Answering questions clearly and
asking relevant questions
Avoiding the use of slang or
technical jargon.
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Projecting Credibility
Being on time.
Being presentable.
– Groomed and dress codes.
Keeping true to your word
and your body language.
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Making a Handshake
Beginning with a greeting and self-introduction
Handshaking
– Pump your hand only 2-3 times.
– Shake from your elbow.
– Do not use a forceful grip.
– Avoid offering a “fish hand” or “lady fingers”.
– One hand is better than two.
Ending a handshake
– Should end before the oral introduction exchange
does.
Covering your mistakes
– If you are worried that your handshake did not
convey the right message about yourself, simply
change the focus of the moment by offering a
quick compliment or asking the other person a
question.
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Tips:
1. Always keeping your business cards
within you.
2. Being active: Timing the presentation of
your card.
3. Handing a card when
• At the beginning of the meeting
• At the networking time
• You’re asked
• You’re asked to repeat your name
• Someone asks to send you something
• At the end of the meeting
4. Explaining what you can offer them.
5. Showing the other person that you
value their card.
Using Business Cards
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Organizing Your Contact List
Using tools: Name card holder, Outlook,
Google, etc.
Reviewing your new contacts after each
networking time.
– Updating your contact list
– Making detail notes for interesting contacts.
Dropping a connecting thank-you email
to connected person.
Reviewing your contact list periodically.
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4-Stage
Effective Short Conversation
• Talking about generic topics, subjects that almost
everyone is comfortable discussing.
• Establishing rapport.
1. Small Talk
Exchange-of-
pleasantries stage
• Telling the other person some facts about you, your job,
your interests, etc.
• Aiming to see if you have something in common with
the other person.
2. Fact Disclosure
Getting-to-know stage
• Offering what you think about various topics like
politics, education, the new business model.
3. Viewpoints and
Opinions
“Buffering effect” stage
• Disclosure and acknowledgment of personal feelings.
• Requiring trust, rapport, and even a genuine friendship,
because of the intimate nature of the subject.
4. Personal Feelings
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Minimizing Nervousness
Tips:
1. Be informed.
2. Read ! Read! Read!
3. Practice! Practice! Practice!
4. Learning relaxation techniques. There are many activities that can help
relax a nervous person. These activities include:
a) Meditation
b) Self-talk
c) Visualization
d) Breathing exercises
e) Listening to music
5. Identifying your triggers
6. Believing in what you have to offer!
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Part 10
Non-Violent Communication
Marshall Rosenberg
Non-violent Communication Process
Four Steps To Express Anger
Translating ‘Have to’ to ‘Choose to’
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Non-violent Communication
Process
Four steps:
1. Actions we observe that affect our well-being
2. How we feel in relation to what we observe
3. The needs, values and desires that create our feelings
4. Actions we request in order to enrich our lives
Nguyen, when I see two balls of soiled socks under the table and another
three next to the TV, I feel irritated because I am needing more order in the
rooms that we share in common. Would you be willing to put your socks in
your room or in the washing machine?
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Four Steps To Express Anger
Four Steps To Express Anger
1. Stop and breathe
2. Identify our judgmental thoughts
3. Connect with our needs
4. Express our feelings and unmet needs
Four options when hearing
a difficult message:
1. Blame ourselves
2. Blame others
3. Sense our own feelings and needs
4. Sense others’ feelings and needs
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Translating
‘Have to’ to ‘Choose to’
Step 1
• List all those things, activities that:
• You tell yourself you have to do
• You dread but do anyway because you perceive
yourself to have no choice.
Step 2
• Insert the words “I choose to . . . ” in front of each
item you listed
Step 3
• Intention behind your choice by completing the
statement, “I choose to . . . because I want . . . .”