1. How Great NonProfit
Pitches Go Very Wrong*
Erica Mills
Chief Word Nerd
Claxon Marketing
*and what you
can do about it

2. The average adult uses 15,000 words a day.
According to Matthias R. Mehl, University of Arizona Assistant Professor of Psychology, in a 2007 research
study

3. Some of your words will be about what you do.
elevator pitch noun e-ˈ
l - v -t r pichə ˌ ā ə ˈ
a short summary used to
quickly and simply define
a person, profession,
product, service,
organization or event and
its value proposition.*
*source:wikipedia

4. OK, seriously: why do we
get tongue-tied when it
comes to delivering a
pitch?
Get nervous just thinking about delivering your pitch? Quick, look at this cute
dog picture and you’ll feel better.

5. Anxiety-inducing Reason #1: We think a pitch
is about closing a deal.
It’s really about
opening a
door!

6. The point of a pitch is to inspire action and
engagement. You want the recipient to…
Show interest
Ask questions
Repeat your
message to
others

7. Anxiety-inducing Reason #2: We
have all experienced bad
pitches. We fear sounding like a
Used Car Salesman, kinda like
this dude. (Ick!)

8. “Say it ain’t so!”
All this anxiety about closing doors and
sounding like a used car salesman leads to
(gasp) PITCHFALLS!

9. Top 5 Pitchfalls
1. You sound like a robot.
2. You talk about yourself.
3. You talk too much.
4. You use jargon.
5. You sound like a talking tagline.
We’re about to
fix some
PITCHFALLS, yo.

10. Pitchfall #1: You sound like a
robot
This does
not compute.

11. Answer: #1 Your
message was
handed down from
on high.
Question: Why the robo-
speak, friend?

12. Answer #2: You fear rejection.
“Here’s the hand. You know what to do.”
Cruel irony alert: The more you care, the more
you fear rejection, and the more you sound
like a robot. Doh.

13. Remember…there are three
components to communication
What you say
(like, you know,
the actual words)
How you say it,
i.e. tone of voice
Body language,
including (but not
limited to) gestures,
facial expressions,
and arm crossing.
#1 Verbal #2 Para-verbal #3 Non-verbal

14. The fix for
verbal
robotitis?
Practice saying
your pitch using all
three components,
aka like yourself. If
it’s too difficult, it’s
a sign your pitch
needs to be
simplified. (Or it’s a
sign that you are,
actually, a robot.)

15. Me.
Me.
Me.
Me.
Pitchfall #2: You only talk about yourself.
zzzz…

16. The five most frequently used words (written,
spoken and otherwise):
#5: a
#4: to
#3: and
#2: the
And, THE most frequently used word…(drumroll
please)…
“I”

17. HUMAN NATURE 101: People care most about
themselves*
*even really nice people
THEIR kids
THEIR goals
THEIR job
THEIR beliefs

18. The fix: Connect what YOU do to
what THEY care about
Talk about benefits instead of
outcomes
Use “you” and “your” (or in certain
parts of the US, “yous”)
We build eco-
friendly homes for
people like you
and your family.

19. Blah
Blah
Blah
Blah
Pitchfall #3: You talk too much.

20. When you tell someone everything, they
remember nothing.
I can’t believe
you’re still
talking. I’m
thinking about
what I am going
to have for
dinner.

21. “You have to
understand
that nothing
appeals to
everybody”
-Gene Simmons

22. The fix: develop three different-sized
versions of your pitch
Tall
Grande
Venti
10 words: for
new
acquaintances
25 words: for
introductory
conversations
about what
you do
50 words: for when
you have a captive
audience

23. So it's really about
synergic abilities in
the social
ecosphere.
Pitchfall #4: You use jargon
You lost me
at
synergic…

24. Over-used words lose their
meaning
It was so IRONIC, it was LITERALLY AMAZING!

25. The fix: Outsider editorial review
Have someone outside of your organization listen to your pitch.
Ask them to highlight jargon, buzzwords and quasi-meaningless
gobbledygook.
And if you say a no-no word, everybody drinks!

26. I work for Nike.
We help you just
do it!
Pitchfall #5: You sound like a talking tagline.

27. Taglines are read, not said When it
absolutely,
positively has
to be there
overnight.
Dude, nobody
talks like that

28. The fix: translate your pitch into something people can say without
sounding weird or creepy
People reading taglines feeling both weird AND creepy

29. Practice
Practice isn’t about perfection. It’s about
progress. Test your pitch by asking:
Is it remarkable? Will people talk about you, your
work, your cause to others?
Do people ask questions that will lead to a
conversation that will, eventually, lead to
engagement in, and support of, you, your work,
your cause?

30. Want to be really, truly, completely free of all
Pitchfalls?
Buy your own copy of Pitchfalls: why bad pitches