Mark is the father of two children abducted by their mother to join ISIS in Syria. In this open letter, he reflects on how religion has become distorted and used for power and control. He discusses his own doubts about religion from a young age and his rejection of converting to Islam from his partner. He expresses fears that ISIS will indoctrinate his children with their extreme religious views and force them to conform. While he respects individual freedom to practice religion, he is critical of the lack of self-criticism in the Muslim world regarding radicalism and the abuse of religion. Overall, he advocates for mutual understanding and respect between all people as the true essence of God.

1. © Copyright 2015 Dagblad De Limburger / Limburgs Dagblad.
RADICALISATION
foto Thinkstock
Religion
As A Monster
Mark*, the father of the two children that were abducted from Maastricht to
Syria by their own mother, found himself at the centre of a media hype in
march 2015. And his story was hot new not only in the Netherlands. Reputed
foreign newspapers such as Haaretz and The Guardian and TV stations like
Al-Jazeera reported about Umm* who managed to set off for the caliphate
together with Luca and Aysha in spite of an international warrant for her
arrest. An open letter by Mark.
The question was
if I wanted to
convert to Islam.
The answer was no.
Mark
“
The events of the past fortnight have
set me thinking again about religion in
general and Islam in particular. Let me
be quite clear about this. I haven’t
anything against religion. It can be an
excellent means of finding consola-
tion or courage or protection or an
instrument enabling you to give a
place to the inexplicable.
I was born a Roman Catholic. Religion
was handed down to me as a
completely natural thing. But as a
teenager I started having doubts.
Perhaps the sermons in church were
boring or the ministers of the church
uninspiring. Maybe my age and the
usual revolt against parents’ authority
and the world at large were the causes
of my abandoning religion. As soon as
I became more knowledgeable, about
the evolution theory for instance, it
became clear to me that religion is first
and foremost a symbolic means to an
end. At the same time to me it did not
look like the obvious route to explain
life’s big questions. I do believe
though that in essence any religion is
valid in itself.
“Eventually I was asked whether I
wanted to become Muslim as well. -
No.”
However, religion is also misused to
scare people, to obtain power, to
suppress doubt, to justify superiority
or legalize or trivialize negative
excesses. In my relationship with a
woman that was Muslim by birth, she
had ignored that religion for years but
all of a sudden made a religious
U-turn and I felt obliged to scrutinize
what Islam stands for in everyday life.
I observed that she valued rituals
highly: such as cleaning yourself
before prayer, praying five times a day
at regular intervals facing south-east,
wearing a headscarf, the hijab, and
buying the Koran. All of it struck me
as rather forced. Meals for the kids had
to be postponed, routine household
chores were done later or not at all.
Eventually I was asked whether I
wanted to become a Muslim as well. -
No. The views I had held all my life
hadn’t changed.
I wasn’t thanked for questioning her
rituals. My why-questions particularly
weren’t answered. As a Christian I had
learned for example that the number 7
represents ‘a multitude’: Moses’
wandering with the Israelites through
the wilderness lasted 7 times 7 days.’
So this would have taken 49 days. No,
actually it took much longer. Similarly,
praying 5 times a day doesn’t mean
literally 5 times but as often as you
can. Facing south-east? Would Allah
be vexed when you would say your
prayers facing north? Would you
arouse Allah’s wrath when you would
be eating pork? Would you be less
Muslim consequently?
After she had left for Syria with the
kids it became clear to me that Islamic
State (IS) uses religion to obtain
power. IS abuses the fact that many
people are illiterate or unable to
comprehend what is really meant.
Doubters are corrected with the
sword, the knife and Kalashnikovs.
Under the guise of the caliphate,
where the true religion can be
practised, where the Islamic faith in
its purest form is supposed to exist,
religion has become a monster,
disfigured by fanatic, misguided
believers originating from ninety
different countries.
That is the origin of my fear. My fear
that my kids up there will succumb
under the never ending avalanche of
religious mania. Because they have to
become what IS demands that they
should become.
Talking to the Muslims in the
neighbourhood where I live I find that
they are all pretty unanimous in their
verdict. This is a nightmare on earth.
An assault on true religion. But what I
do miss however in the Muslim world
at large is self-criticism. I have seen too
few mass protests of Muslims against
IS, against radicalism and the abuse of
religion. What I also miss is respect for
individuality. Looking in the mirror
and asking yourself what you think of
a particular issue seems inconceivable.
Above all, there is fear. Everybody
knows somebody that thinks radical.
And all this in a closed world that
distrusts all that comes from outside.
This must be extremely suffocating.
True, in Europe there have been a
number of protest demonstrations,
but for completely different reasons.
Often directed against Islam in general
and motivated by fear as a bad
counsellor. Europe and the US tend to
forget that their expansionism and
colonialism, often under the guise of
religion, had the same effect and
permanently created bad blood. Now
‘our’ chickens have come to roost.
Insatiable greed for riches kept bloody
dictators on their throne for years and
we are now suffering from the
consequences.
People should be free to practise their
own religion but don’t impose a
religion on others. Should my
children want to become Muslim – if I
ever get them back – that is fine with
me. But only when they have reached
an age enabling them to intelligently
make their own choices. A Christian is
no better than a Muslim, Jews are not
superior to Palestinians. We are all
different but above all equal. Mutual
understanding and respect create, I
feel, that aspect of God that we all
have in our souls. It doesn’t matter
whether you call it Allah, God,
Yahweh or Buddha. The good that is
in all of us, that is what matters.
*For privacy reasons names in this
article are fictitious.