1. Planning your writing & paragraph structure
Synthesis grid
Adopted from The University ofSydney (2019) https://writesite.elearn.usyd.edu.au/m3/m3u1/m3u1s4/m3u1s4_4.htm#
2. Essay plan
Essay question:
1. Brainstorm some main ideas – answer essay questions
2. Group the ideas – identify the similarities and differences
among the ideas
3. Reorganise the ideas – put the ideas into the right headings
and subheadings
Analyse the causes of obesity
3. Causes of obesity
Suzanne M. Wright, Louis J. Aronne
Comprehensive Weight Control Program, Weill-Cornell Medical College/NewYork PresbyterianHospital, 1165 York
Avenue, New York, NY 10065, USA DOI:10.1007/s00261-012-9862-x Publishedonline: 18 March 2012
The prevalence of obesity has been rising steadily over the last several decades
and is currently at unprecedented levels: more than 68% of US adults are considered
overweight, and 35% are obese (Flegal et al., 2010). This increase has occurred
across every age, sex, race, and smoking status, and data indicate that segments of
individuals in the highest weight categories (i.e., BMI > 40 kg/m2) have increased
proportionately more than those in lower BMI categories (BMI < 35 kg/m2). The
dramatic rise in obesity has also occurred in many other countries, and the causes of
this increase are not fully understood (Hill and Melanson, 1999). Although obesity is
most commonly caused by excess energy consumption (dietary intake) relative to
energy expenditure (energy loss via metabolic and physical activity), the etiology of
obesity is highly complex and includes genetic, physiologic, environmental,
psychological, social, economic, and even political factors that interact in varying
degrees to promote the development of obesity (Aronne, Nelinson, and Lillo, 2009).
The food, or ‘‘built’’ environment has shifted in ways that promote overeating: highly
caloric and fat-laden foods are not only affordable but also easily accessible (i.e.,
numerous fast food restaurants, vending machines of energy dense items in schools
and offices, etc.). These highly palatable foods are frequently available in large
portions, which contribute to increased daily caloric intake (Rolls, 2003). Not only
have commercial portion sizes increased, the number of processed food items
(typically high in sugar, fat, and sodium) available in grocery stores, mini-marts, and
convenience stores has skyrocketed. Today, the majority of products in grocery
stores are non-perishable, highly processed, and pre-packaged foods. These
products are heavily marketed not only to adults but also to children as well.
Convenient, easy to prepare, and inexpensive, these high calorie products are
frequently consumed by millions of families who are struggling to meet the economic
and scheduling demands of today’s fast paced lifestyle.
Physical activity levels have also dramatically decreased in the past several
decades. It has been estimated that less than half of US adults engaged in
recommended levels of physical activity in 2005 (Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention, 2007). Levels of physical activity have also decreased in adolescents
(Kimm, 2002). There is less access to physical activity (fewer sidewalks), less
physical education in schools (Gabbard, 2001), and more time is spent on sedentary
behaviors such as television watching, surfing the internet, and playing video games
(Andersen, 1998). The myriad advances in technology developed over the past few
decades have made many tasks more efficient, but in the process have ultimately
4. decreased the number of calories expended (i.e., TV remote controls, automatic
garage door opener, etc.).
In addition to the primary influences of increased caloric intake and decreased
energy expenditure, Keith et al. (2006) identified ten other contributing factors to the
obesity epidemic (Table 1). Weight gain is associated with several commonly used
medications including psychotropic medications, diabetic treatments, antihyper
tensives, steroid hormones and contraceptives, antihistamines, and protease
inhibitors. The deleterious effects of drug-induced weight gain include, paradoxically,
increased risks for developing type II diabetes, hypertension, hyperlipidemia, as well
as poor medication compliance (Aronne and Segal, 2003). While it is difficult to
estimate the full impact of drug-induced weight gain, the recognition that some of the
most widely prescribed classes of drugs can cause significant weight gain supports
the hypothesis that drug-induced weight gain is contributing to the obesity epidemic.
Table 1. Contributing Factors to the Obesity Epidemic
Contributing factor References
The food environment (Rolls, 2003)
Decreases in physical activity (Centers for DiseaseControl and Prevention,2007)
Sleep debt (Gangwisch, 2005)
Drug-induced weight gain (Aronne, 2003)
Declinein cigarette smoking (Filozofet al.,2004)
Endocrine disruptors (Pelletieret al., 2003)
Reduction in variability ofambienttemperature (Collin et al., 2001)
Changes in distribution ofethnicityandage (Hedley et al., 2004)
Increasing gravida age (Patterson, 1997)
Intrauterineeffects (Finch and Loehlin, 1998)
Greaterreproductive fitness ofhigher BMI individuals yielding theselectionfor
obesity-predisposing genotypes
(Segal and Allison, 2002)
Assortative mating andflooreffects (Katzmarzyk etal., 2002)
Changes in policy (Swinburn et al., 2011)
Infections (Atkinson, etal., 2005)
Modified from [9, 19]
Sleep debt has also been linked to increased body weight. Some studies have
shown that hours of sleep per night are negatively correlated with BMI (Gangwisch et
al., 2005), and sleep restriction has been shown to increase hunger and appetite
(Spiegel et al., 2004). The relatively recent decline in cigarette smoking may also be
a factor that has contributed to the obesity epidemic, since studies have shown that
weight gain is a common sequelae of smoking cessation. Furthermore, smokers
typically weigh less than non-smokers.
5. Endocrine disruptors, industrially produced substances that can affect endocrine
function, may also be a contributing factor to the etiology of obesity. They include
dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane, some polychlorinated biphenols and some
alkylphenols, that may act by disturbing endogenous hormonal regulation (Keith et
al., 2006). Other factors (Table 1) that can possibly contribute to the obesity
epidemic include a reduction in the variability of ambient temperature due to central
cooling and heating, changes in population distribution of ethnicity and age,
increasing gravida age, intrauterine effects, and greater reproductive fitness of higher
BMI individuals yielding the selection for obesity-predisposing genotypes. Although
the genetics of obesity is a highly researched area, just a small number of rare single
genetic abnormalities have been discovered. Current research on the epigenetics of
obesity is investigating the influence of behavioral and environmental factors on
genetic expression (Swinburn et al., 2011).
It has been suggested that policies put into place by the US government to increase
the food supply in the 1970s contributed to an abundance of food and therefore an
increase in population energy intake (Swinburn et al., 2009). For instance, US farm
subsidy policies may have caused certain foods to be more abundant and cheaper,
potentially contributing to lower relative prices and increased consumption of
fattening foods (Wallinga, 2010). Infections may also play a role in the etiology of
obesity. Adenovirus-36 (Ad-36) infection has been shown to cause obesity in animals
(Pasarica et al., 2006) and studies have shown that obese individuals are more likely
to have been infected with Ad-36 (Atkinson et al., 2005)
Social networks may also contribute to the increasing prevalence of obesity. One
study showed that a person’s chance of becoming obese increased by 57% if he or
she had a friend who became obese in a given interval (Christakis and Fowler,
2007). A similar phenomenon was observed among adult siblings and married
couples. Among adult siblings, the chance of one sibling becoming obese increased
by 40% if the other sibling had become obese, and among married couples, the
likelihood of one spouse becoming obese increased by 37% if the other had become
obese.
Thus, the dramatic rise in the incidence of obesity in many countries appears to be
due to the complex interaction of a variety of factors including genetic, physiologic,
environmental, psychological, social, economic, and political. Given the numerous
and significant deleterious health consequences associated with obesity, there is an
urgent need for the development of highly effective interventions that aim to reverse
these ‘‘obesogenic’’ drivers, including both government policies as well as health
education and promotion programs.
6. Paragraph structure
There has been considerable speculation in academic circles with regard to the
most appropriatemode of delivering support to students at tertiary level. The
noticeable increase in students from non-English speaking backgrounds
together with the promotion of international student exchange programmes
across numerous Australian universities has highlighted the need for more
substantial academic support in terms of their English language and literacy
needs. Based on empirical research, Pyke et al. (2012) demonstrated that the
blending of drop-in and one-to-one consultations, workshops, writing clinics,
and intensive academic programmes proved effective in assisting students to
fulfil academic assessmentrequirements as well as maintain university student
retention rates. An instance where this has been demonstrated to work
successfully has been the establishment of a Higher Education Language and
Presentation SupportUnit (HELPS) at The University of Technology, Sydney. This
would suggestthata hybrid, rather than exclusively student- or teacher- centric,
approach to delivering support could be considered the most effective.
Organisations responsiblefor thedelivery of education should thereforeensure
that their policies provide for sufficient resources to accommodate students’
language requirements.
Adopted from UTS (2019) https://www.uts.edu.au/current-students/support/helps/self-help-resources/academic-writing/paragraph-
level-writing
7. Topic sentence
Read the paragraph and then write the topic sentence tomatch the content.
1)________________________________________________________________________________
First,Canada hasan excellenthealthcare system.AllCanadianshave accesstomedical servicesata
reasonable price.Second,Canadahasa highstandard of education.Studentsare taughtbywell-
trainedteachersandare encouragedtocontinue studyingatuniversity.Finally,Canada'scitiesare
cleanand efficientlymanaged.Canadiancitieshave manyparksandlotsof space for people tolive.
As a result,Canadaisa desirable place tolive.
2)________________________________________________________________________________
Althoughstudentsurveysalwaysshowstudentslike tohave accessto materialsonline,the take up
of purelyonlinecoursesislow.Whenquestioned,studentsfindthatstudyingonlinecanbe a lonely
and unsatisfyingexperience.Notonlydostudentsmissthe humaninteractionwithotherstudents,
theyalsofindthe time lagin gettinganswerstotheirquestionsveryfrustrating.
3)________________________________________________________________________________
Researchshowsthatcountrieswithhighlevelsof immigrationare economicallysuccessful andthat
there isa correlationbetweenamobile labourforce andeconomicprosperity.Immigrationservesas
an importantsource of both skilledandunskilledlabourinthe UKwhichhas come to dependon
migrantsto pluggaps initsskilledprofessionsandtodojobsthat the local populationare unwilling
to do.
4)________________________________________________________________________________
Britainhad an empire atthistime andGermanywanteda similarrole inthe world.Thismeant
havinga strongnavy so the Germansspenta considerable amountof time andeffortbuildingupits
naval force.Britainrespondedtothisthreattoits dominance bystrengtheningitsnavyevenfurther.
This‘naval race’ contributedtothe increase intensionbetweenthe twocountries.
Adopted from AEUK (2017) https://www.academic-englishuk.com/topic-sentence
8. Topic sentence – answer key (example answers)
Read the paragraph and then write the topic sentence tomatch the content.
1) There are three reasonsthatmake Canada an ideal countrytolive in.
______________________________________________________________________________
First,Canada hasan excellenthealthcare system.AllCanadianshave accesstomedical servicesata
reasonable price.Second,Canadahasa highstandard of education.Students are taughtbywell-
trainedteachersandare encouragedtocontinue studyingatuniversity.Finally,Canada'scitiesare
cleanand efficientlymanaged.Canadiancitieshave manyparksandlotsof space for people tolive.
As a result,Canadaisa desirable place tolive.
2) Online learningisbecomingincreasinglypopularinrecentyears,butit has beenunable toreplace
the conventional styleof learningentirely.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Althoughstudentsurveysalwaysshowstudentslike tohave accessto materialsonline,the take up
of purelyonlinecoursesislow.Whenquestioned,studentsfindthatstudyingonlinecanbe a lonely
and unsatisfyingexperience.Notonlydostudentsmissthe humaninteractionwithotherstudents,
theyalsofindthe time lagin gettinganswerstotheirquestionsveryfrustrating.
3) There have beena greatdeal of studiesinthe lastfew decadesintothe (positive) impactof
immigration.
________________________________________________________________________________
Researchshowsthatcountrieswithhighlevelsof immigrationare economicallysuccessful andthat
there isa correlationbetweenamobile labourforce andeconomicprosperity.Immigrationservesas
an importantsource of both skilledandunskilledlabourinthe UKwhichhas come to dependon
migrantsto pluggaps initsskilledprofessionsandtodojobsthat the local populationare unwilling
to do.
4) Imperial rivalry causedpolitical tension betweenBritainandGermany.
________________________________________________________________________________
Britainhad an empire atthistime andGermanywanteda similarrole inthe world.Thismeant
havinga strongnavy so the Germansspenta considerable amountof time andeffortbuildingupits
naval force.Britainrespondedtothisthreattoits dominance bystrengtheningitsnavyevenfurther.
This‘naval race’ contributedtothe increase intensionbetweenthe twocountries.
9. Concluding sentence
Match the concluding sentences below to each of the paragraph.
It is this dual function of gender division which both characterises and drives capitalist economic
formation.
It was not the presence of women which drove wartime policy, but the absence of men.
This separation of production from consumption, and waged from domestic labour is no mere side-
effect of the development of capitalism; it is an essential element of its continued existence.
Adopted from The University ofSydney (2018) https://writesite.elearn.usyd.edu.au/m3/m3u2/m3u2s5/m3u2s5_3.htm
10. Concluding sentence – answer key
It is this dual function of gender division which both characterises and drives capitalist economic
formation.
This separation of production from consumption, and waged from domestic labour is no mere
side-effect of the development of capitalism; it is an essential element of its continued existence.
It was not the presence of women which drove wartime policy, but the absence of men.
