2. Thesis Statement as Blueprint
It’s a promise you keep to your reader; stick to it
Contains the “seeds” or “map” to the rest of your
paper
It should change as your plan changes
Set-up, central claim, reasoning
4. Strengthening Your Thesis
The Problem: Not Clear
How to Spot It: It’s hard to find your main idea
or argument.
How to Fix It: No surprises or games. State
your main point in plain language.
“bad” “costly,” “unhealthy,” “toxic,” “illegal,”
“low-quality”
“In the course
readings, I
noticed a lot of
metaphors.”
“Articles A and B use a lot of metaphors
about X, Y, and Z to show that…”
“It could be
argued that X
is Y.” “I found that X is Y.”
“Many
psychologists
say that...”
“Because many psychologists say X,
patients/lawmakers/parents should do
Y.”
5. Strengthening Your Thesis
The Problem: Not Specific
How to Spot It: Vague words like “many,”
“important,” “several,” “something,” or
non-specific measurements like “bad,”
“interesting,” or “right”
How to Fix It: Change vague words to specific
words. Give examples of what you mean. Don’t
be afraid to have a long, detailed thesis.
“bad” “costly,” “unhealthy,” “toxic,” “illegal,”
“low-quality”
“bad” “costly,” “unhealthy,” “toxic,” “illegal,”
“low-quality”
“for many
reasons” “because A, B, and C”
“the right thing
to do”
“the most effective policy,” “the solution
for the majority of users”
6. Strengthening Your Thesis
The Problem: Not Arguable/Supportable
How to Spot It: Opinions, moral judgments,
generalizations
How to Fix It: Stick to claims that you can
support with the evidence you have.
“bad” “costly,” “unhealthy,” “toxic,” “illegal,”
“low-quality”
“X is wrong
and unfair.”
“X causes the following (measurable)
problems…”
“I don’t agree
with A’s
argument.”
“I don’t agree with A’s argument
because A’s evidence is
outdated/insufficient/irrelevant.”
“Everybody
knows that…”
“Studies by A, B, and C have shown
that…”
7. Strengthening Your Thesis
The Problem: Inappropriate Scope
How to Spot It: Yes/no questions (too narrow)
or big, sweeping statements (too broad).
How to Fix It: Experiment with narrowing or
broadening your thesis until you can thoroughly
examine your claims in a paper of this length.
“bad” “costly,” “unhealthy,” “toxic,” “illegal,”
“low-quality”
“All drugs
should be
illegal.”
“Based on medical research in the past
decade, drug A should be illegal unless
prescribed by a physician.”
“The average
voter is over
55.”
“Because voters over 55 have such high
turnout at the polls, this year’s
presidential candidates have...”
“Obesity can be
solved by…”
“X is a promising treatment for obesity
in children…”
8. Not so much… Yes!
A.) “There is a problem with the fact that some
hamburgers contain somewhat too much lighter
fluid.”
A.) “Recent studies that show fatal levels of lighter
fluid in McMeaty’s hamburgers show a lack of
sufficient Health Department oversight in the
fast food industry.”
Good Thesis, Bad Thesis
NOT
SPECIFIC
9. Not so much… Yes!
B.) “Putting sweaters on little dogs is sick and
wrong.”
B.) “The cultural practice of putting sweaters on
little dogs illustrates the increasing influence of
fashion over every aspect of our daily lives.”
Good Thesis, Bad Thesis
NOT
ARGUABLE
10. Not so much… Yes!
C.) “Some scholars say that goldfish are dangerous
pets. Others disagree.”
C.) “While scholars disagree over the danger of
keeping goldfish as pets, it remains clear that
after the recent rash of goldfish-related deaths,
stricter laws must be instituted to protect
children from potential harm.”
Good Thesis, Bad Thesis
UNCLEAR
11. Not so much… Yes!
D.) “Television teaches children a variety of
damaging messages.”
D/E.) “A variety of popular early-childhood
television shows, especially Yo-Gabba-Gabba
and My Little Pony, teach children to hold
unrealistic expectations about adult life.”
Good Thesis, Bad Thesis
TOO BROAD
TOO NARROW
E.) “Yo-Gabba-Gabba teaches
children to be unconcerned when
they are abducted by dancing
aliens.”