Here are seven tips for maintaining hope for caregivers and their loved ones, according to about.com senior living writer Vicki Rackner, M.D.

1. Keeping the Faith: How to Remain
Hopeful as a Caregiver

2. It’s only human for us to believe we can overcome illness and
delay death.
• But for family caregivers, however, it isn’t always that simple.
• For caregivers, their loved one faces a steady medical decline,
a life-threatening illness or impending death.
• It’s important to expect a better tomorrow, whether it’s from a
change in your environment or unexpected help.

3. Hope is like a vase that contains your sweet-smelling, colorful
dreams.
No matter how desperate the situation, there is always room for hope and
dreams because they are vital healing for the suffering of caregivers and
their loved ones.
Here are seven tips for
maintaining hope for caregivers
and their loved ones, according
to about.com senior living writer
Vicki Rackner, M.D.:

4. 1 Give a voice to your secret longings,
wishes and dreams.
• If you had a magic wand, what would you
wish for?
• Maybe it’s a time when you and your loved
one were on a trip, instead of sitting at a
hospital bedside where he or she is being
treated.
• Hope might be something simple, like a good
night’s sleep for you and your loved one.

5. 2 Say it out loud: “We could use a good
night’s sleep.
• Define the reality. Most people experience
likely events, not miracles.
• Grasp an understanding of your current
reality based on what’s most likely to happen
naturally.
• When caregivers and loved ones define the
most likely outcome, it helps you decide
where to place your hopes.

6. 3 Acknowledge your loved one’s hopes
may be different than your own.
• If your loved one has to decide on serious
medical choices, like moving to a hospital
halfway across the country for experimental
medicine, it may not be your decision.
• What if your loved one considers
experimental treatment too risky and
uncomfortable and decides to live out his or
her last days enjoying family?
• As a caregiver and possible child, you may
find it difficult to show support. You don’t
want to burden your loved one with your
disappointment, so it’s best to voice your
frustration to a trusted friend.

7. 4 Honor your loved one’s hopes.
• As a caregiver, it’s important to remember
that your loved one is the patient.
• It’s his or her body and life.
• And as much as you think you know what the
best choice is, your job is to help your loved
ones realize their hopes, not yours.

8. 5 Mourn the loss of the old dream.
• For many caregivers, acknowledging the loss
of a dream can be as painful as losing the
loved one.
• Allowing yourself to mourn the loss your
dream can bring healing.

9. 6 Create a new dream.
• Maybe the hope for a cure is replaced with
the hope for days, or moments, that are free
of pain.
• For caregivers and loved ones alike, state
your dreams as attaining something you
want, rather than avoiding something you
don’t want.
• And as medical conditions change, it’s
important to revisit the dream.
• If you’re disappointed about the course of
events, ask “Is this the loss of a dream, or a
hope I can fulfill?”

10. 7 Focus on your loved one.
• First and foremost, being a caregiver is about
supporting the person you love.Even a
caregiver has hopes and dreams.
• But the purpose of being a caregiver is the
willingness to fulfill the hopes and dreams of
those for whom you care, whether or not you
hold the same vision.

11. Just remember that no matter how desperate the
situation, there is still hope for the dream.

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