This document summarizes key findings from a study of 50,000 couples on the top relationship qualities that contribute to couple satisfaction in remarriages. The top 10 qualities are listed and include things like communication, conflict resolution, shared activities, flexibility, financial management, sexuality, friendships, managing complexity in stepfamilies, and emotional closeness. Couples are encouraged to evaluate their relationship on a scale in each area, identify ones needing improvement, make a plan to address it, and check progress weekly. Statistics are provided on divorce and dissatisfaction rates in remarriages and stepfamilies. Managing stepfamily complexity and stepparent-child relationships are identified as the most defining factors for stepfamily success or failure.

1. Based on”
The ReMarriage Checkup
By Ron Deal and David H. Olson
© 2010 by
Bethany House,
Minneapolis,
Mn. a division
of Baker
Publishing Co,
Data graphs and comments used with permission of the publisher

2. Aloha Stadium holds 50,000 people
Published in “The ReMarriage Checkup” ©2010

4. From a study of 50,000 couples
1. Partner’s 6. Financial
Personality management
2. Healthy 7. Healthy sexuality
communication 8. Friendships and
3. Ability to resolve extended family
conflict 9. Managing
4. Shared couple complexity
leisure activity 10. Couple closeness
5. Flexibility and & emotional
adaptability safety.

5. On a scale of 1(low) and 10 (excellent) grade
your relationships on each of the Top ten
Qualities (above):
 share your answer with your partner
 Decide which item requires attention first
 Write a plan to overcome the issue
 measure and share your results weekly
(i.e on a date night)

6.  Nearly half of all marriages do not survive
 An additional 25% of marriages that don’t
end in divorce are DISSATISFYING
 Second marriages crash and burn 60 % of the
time
 Third marriages crash and burn 73 % of the
time
 Couples bringing children into the new
family, divorce 50% more than those
with no children

7.  This course if offered to change those
statistics and help us become a successful
step family.
 The health of each of the step parents and
the ability to manage the attributes and
actions on our children are the two defining
attributes that make or break a step family.
 Remarriage is not only about the couples'
ability to cope with change, but also about
our past and our children in the present.

8. www.couplecheckup.com

9. 1. Satisfaction with and acceptance of the personality
of your partner.
2. Healthy communication.
3. An ability to resolve couple conflict.
4. Shared couple leisure activity.
5. Strong couple flexibility and adaptability.
6. Good financial management and shared values for
handling money.
7. Healthy sexuality and affection.
8. Positive shared friendships and healthy
boundaries with extended family.
9. Successful management of the complexities of
living in a stepfamily.
10. Positive couple closeness and emotional safety.

10. Items are in order of how closely they relate to couple
satisfaction
1. One partner's moodiness is not an issue.
2. Each of us feels understood by the other.
3. We are able to resolve our differences.
4. We enjoy many of the same leisure activities.
5. Creative in handling differences.
6. We agree on how to spend money.
7. Affection is used fairly and sexuality is healthy.
8. Neither of us is overly involved or influenced by
his/her family or previous partner.
9. Clear parent and stepparent roles.
10. Feeling close to the other.

11. Items are in Rank Order
1. Expecting difficulty dealing with complex stepfamily
issues (88%)
2. Stepchildren strain (86%)
3. Stress of creating a stepfamily (85%)
4. Different patterns of child rearing traditions (82%)
5. They expect stepfamily adjustment to be difficult (78%)
6. No specific plan for money management (73%)
7. Concerns over unpaid bills, debts, or settlements (66%)
8. They feel their partner is too stubborn (65%)
9. Tendency to avoid conflict (63%)
10. They have a fear of another marital failure(63%)
11. Feeling responsible for problems when they argue (61%)
12. Baggage from previous relationships (58%)

12.  Review your couple Checkup Report to see
what Couple Type you are most similar to.
The chart in the next page summarizes the
strengths and key growth dimensions of
each type.
 The couple Scores in the Summary of
Strength and Growth Areas graph describe
how much you agree with each other in a
positive way about important aspects of
your marriage.

13. Graphics, desktop publishing, sequencing and editing my OCOI Studios
Xhilliwhack, BC OCOI.Studios@gmail.com
Cartoons permission by cartoonstock.com
Tables and graphs courtesy of Baker Publishing group