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Congratulations! The moment you begin your Mental Fitness
Coaching program with me is a defining one marked by your
willingness to discover personal power. Being an active reader
of this mini-guide to Life-lifting is like opening the window on
the first Spring-like morning. Just as that opening allows fresh
air to circulate the room and remind you that the growth of new
life is coming, your use of this mini-guide will allow fresh
thought to circulate your brain and create actions to nourish new
growth mentally, professionally, physically, and in relationships.
Are you ready to breathe in new ideas, develop new strategies,
and actualize your best self? Ask yourself the following questions
(and answer in writing for referencing later on):
!1. What does your optimal life consist of physically,
professionally, and in relationships?
2. Have you experienced “success” in any of those areas of your
life before and, if so, did it last?
3. Have you started a diet or joined a gym and stopped more
than once?
4. Do you wake up with a sense of purpose that fuels you to be
most effective in your work and play?
5. Have you learned how to voice your thoughts, feelings, ideas
in personal or professional relationships with clarity and
confidence?
6. Does fear interfere with your making changes in jobs or
romances?
7. Have you resigned yourself to believing that it’s “as good as it
can get”?
8. Do you find that you have self-defeating thoughts regarding
your body, your profession, or your role in relationships?
9. Are you stuck in patterns of behaving that slow or stop
positive movement toward your goals?
10. Do you realize the possibilities that either exist or can be
created to allow you to build your optimal life?
!
Your “core” consists of your deeply held beliefs, values, and
intentions. Your core is your personal, internalized “app” for how
you act. How you act determines how you reach your goals. You
will do the “core” work that stabilizes the relationship between
your intentions and your actions. The result:
!
Core Power for Life-lifting!
!!!!!While this mini-guide is a preliminary tool to help you get
started, the full Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook will be your
in-depth resource for customized Life-lifting strategies as my
Mental Fitness Coaching tips and concepts will also have question
and answers areas for you to insert your own current conditions
and how the Mental Fitness Coaching techniques can assist you
to reach your optimal outcomes. Additionally, when you
purchase the Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook, you are able to
email me with any questions you have so that I can best assist
you with developing what I call the Two C’s of suCCess: Clarity
and Conviction. Yes, purchasing the full workbook gives you
access to email coaching from me because I want you to make it
happen! Additionally, being a Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook
owner will allow you a discount on any 1:1 coaching sessions you
may decide would enhance your self-actualization progress.
!We will share a relationship through this text by your learning my
language cues for behavioral shifts that yield adherence to your
goals. I will become that positive guiding “voice in your ear” as
you go through your day facing life on life’s terms while trying to
remain consistent with your pursuit of excellence in mind, body,
career, parenting, and romance. So get out the old school pen
and paper so you can maximize this Mental Fitness Coaching
mini-guide’s suggestions for creating your authentic life.
!!!!!!!!
Who am I and what is Mental Fitness?
!For the last 24 years, I have developed my Clinical expertise in
addiction and trauma recovery through excellent academic
experience at Columbia University in New York City and a range
of treatment settings serving different age groups with different
issues. I have worked individually with Clients, developed and
run group therapy programs, trained Clinicians, and created
unique support/education programs. I have taught a resiliency
(burnout reduction) program I developed at Yale University
School of Medicine, been interviewed for multiple National
podcasts and radio shows, and had numerous articles published
in wellness magazines. However, it wasn’t until midlife that I
realized my niche in the field of human development.
!At 47, after several years of being a “gym rat” with my serious
hobby of weight training, one more person approached me
saying, “You should compete”. Instead of my usual answer of,
“that’s so not me…I am not comfortable on a stage in front of all
of those people judging me that way”, I began to ask questions.
“What would I need to do?”
!When I returned home from the gym that evening, my son who
was a Junior in high school at the time, told me he was going out
for the school golf team…AGAIN. This would be the third year he
tried out and, as the Mama Bear mode kicked in, I had the
thought of “Oh no!!! I need to protect you from the risk of hurt
and disappointment!!!” and instead chose these words, “Wow…ya
know, if you can keep putting yourself out there like that and try
again, I can put MYSELF out there and take my sport to the next
level, too!” Yes, I would strive to overcome my last bit of
shyness leftover from childhood while my son would overcome
fear of rejection.
!That April, he made the golf team and I won my first
bodybuilding competition in NYC. The thrill of “winning” was
magical, yes. However, as my Mental Fitness Coaching concept
identifies, the real Prize was in the Process of mastering mind
and body
Over the next few years going from amateur to pro level in my
sport, meeting and interviewing hundreds of bodybuilding
competitors from all walks of life from physicians to pilots to
supplement reps to college students to seniors (yes, over 65 yrs
old), I began to write about the ways people have used their
physical pursuits to enhance their mental and professional paths
to personal greatness. I studied what I call the Mindset that
Matters for adherence to nutrition plans and training in order to
reach physical goals. Mental Fitness Coaching emerged as a
different kind of mind:body exercise. It has a life coaching kind of
approach but is grounded in evidence-based clinical theory.
Mental Fitness Coaching serves my clients who are going through
transitions or experiencing a lack of fulfillment in some part of
their life. Whether they are Emerging Adults (going from teen to
adult), going through divorce or loss, in Midlife Crisis (that we
turn to Midlife Creation), struggling with staying on course for
their fitness goals, or realizing that they need to go down a new
road for optimal living, my Clients are able to eliminate those
cognitive and behavioral interferences and take on effective
strategies for making life happen as they want it to. I am
honored to have witnessed the evolution and success of 1000’s of
people using my approaches. Now, it’s your turn.
Let’s grow!
This Mental Fitness Coaching mini-guide is designed to give you
some things to consider about personal growth and what may
block you from reaching your potential in any one area of your
life. You may have some significant interferences, such as
addictions, mental health complications, or existing traumatic or
challenging life experiences that are not going to go away
quickly. While my expertise is in all of those conditions, this
mini-guide will only potentially help you to realize the
professional resources you need to acquire to build what I call
your “External Resources” to find your footing and then make
your best life happen. For many of you, whether you have those
bigger interferences or not, this mini-guide will potentially help
you to fine tune your next steps toward creating the life you want
and deserve. Here are the 5 Steps you will take to start:
!1. You will redefine and personalize terms of Clarity, Conviction,
and Success.
2. You will evaluate your “Internal Resources” that you can utilize
to create your strategic plan.
3. You will determine what or who you need as “External
Resources” to create what I call your “GoTo’s” for information,
support, assistance.
4.You will start to recognize Barriers & Breakdowns that interfere
with staying on course and reaching your goals.
5.You will learn about Flexible Discipline as an approach to
remain the Master of your Mind and Body while living life on life’s
terms.
!Lastly, I will give you some key Mental Fitness Coaching phrases
to keep in your back pocket in order to pull out when needing in-
the-moment guidance for your next choice.
!
This mini-guide will get your wheels turning and your body
burning with expanded ideas and effective actions that bring you
one step closer to the professional, physical, and relationship
quality you desire.
!!!
The Two C’s of suCCess: Clarity and Conviction
!I. Clarity: sharpness of image; coherence.
II. Conviction: firmly held belief; drive
!Often you will read about the power of envisioning your desired
outcome in order to best assure that it will come to fruition.
What is both implied and, at times, definitively stated is that by
seeing clearly in your own mind what you want in your real life
will “draw it to you” with your energy of sorts. I do believe that
we generate energy that can bring opportunities to the forefront;
however, I believe that happens because when we stay focused
on what we desire and channel our energy in that direction we
simply become more aware of those opportunities rather than
missing them because we are distracted. Distraction, or a shift in
priorities, happens for a number of reasons that include a range
from a true pressing need to straight up avoidance. Mental
Fitness Coaching uses a few strategies to hone your vision of
what you want your career or body or relationship to be like and
then the technique of Flexible Discipline to help you manage
distractions that are necessary while removing avoidance, or
what I call “interferences”. The first exercise to gain Clarity is for
you to develop your Personal Mission Statement.
!
A Personal Mission Statement (PMS) is much like a
company’s mission statement as it serves as your guiding
principle for how you make your daily decisions. Your PMS
remains consistent for months or years and is used in a mantra-
like manner to embed intentionality and create a key ingredient
to actualizing your best self: congruence between intentions
and actions. By rehearsing and utilizing your PMS, you will
exercise your clarity and enhance your conviction.
!
“Clarity and Conviction are the two C’s of suCCess”. -
Ava Diamond’s Mental Fitness Coaching
!Your PMS should be one or two sentences long only. It should be
constructed of words that have powerful impact, significant
meaning in your own mind and heart. It should be connected to
your goals yet general enough to be utilized every single day.
Are you looking at my words right now and feeling baffled a bit?
Well, here is a personal example of how my PMS allowed me to
make personal gains physically, professionally, and emotionally
about 15 years ago:
!I was 38 years old when my beautiful, angelic Mother was
diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was in that moment of her
diagnosis that I had an epiphany of sorts: “I cannot live a
dormant life any longer”. Having had 3 children in 4 years time, I
was working part-time but parenting over-time. I had an empty
marriage and had lost myself to what I now call, “Diaper
Darkness”. My Mother’s shortened life sentence was a wake up
call to me to start living life fully again. Longer story shortened,
I exited my vacuous marriage, reclaimed my physical self
through running and weight training regularly, and began to
branch out in private practice work to build my unique brand of
therapeutic services. I realized that I could, in fact, be an even
better Mom to my three kids by living authentically and modeling
how to make life happen well. During this transition time, I
helped my own Mom live life well for the balance of her days on
Earth. Yes, all at the same time I was dealing with the divorce
and dying processes.
!
I watched a movie called, “What the Bleep Do we Know” one
night and because I was ready to receive and utilize certain
messages, I accepted the concept of Quantum Physics that if I
could channel my energy into envisioning my ideal life that I
would, in fact, turn that vision to reality. They talked about
intentionality in the film. The next day, I created a daily
intention to use every day for a long period of time in order to
fuel my focus. Given the circumstances in my life, I chose the
following:


!
“I will not let anything interfere with my
happiness today”.
Given everything that was going on in my life at the time, this
may seem like an odd and unrealistic intention for each day. In
fact, what the words meant to me was that I would certainly feel
what I needed to feel in the face of death and divorce, but that I
would not let those feelings consume me. I would cry or
recognize frustrations, but I would return to neutral (or what I
much later realized was my Condition of Joy) in order to get to
the “happy place” sooner than later. So, I would share difficult
news with my three kids in age-appropriate ways, hold them and
their sadness or fears, and then wrap up the grief with the
consistent reminder that “We are Overcomers”. Resilience was
fostered for all of us through this process of turning pain into
pride and purpose.
I started to call my mantra above my Personal Mission Statement
because the word “mission” had a significant level of conviction in
my mind. One day, as I was preparing to go to my new job, our
new babysitter found out that a relative had passed away in New
York City. She was distraught and I quickly scrambled to find
ways to her get to the City and me to work and not have my kids
come home from school to an empty house. The timing would be
tight, but enough for me to drive her there and then get to work
on time, and have my neighbor go to my house until I can get
home. Of course, life on life’s terms did not have the same plan
for me that day. A cable on the George Washington Bridge gave
out and created a parking lot on I-95….for FIVE HOURS. Pre-
PMS, I would have likely gotten pretty anxious and maybe even
exhibited some level of Road Rage. On that day, however, I
closed my eyes and said my PMS, “I will not let anything interfere
with my happiness today” and as I said the words, I breathed in
slowly and centered myself. I called my new job and explained.
I looked in the rear view mirror where the super sad babysitter
had cried herself to sleep in my living room on wheels (a
Suburban XL). I reframed the traffic jam by asking myself,
“when was the last time you sat for a few hours and did
NOTHING?” The answer being “Not in years” allowed me to find
a great music channel, recline my seat, and just CHILL. I
rejuvenated on this little highway vacation from my daily pace.
!So, what would YOUR personal mission statement sound like?
HINT: it should always include the word “today” as in “today I
will….” or “…..today”. It should be relatively easy to remember
because the words ring so true in your heart that you feel them
as it beats. You make it your screensaver, text it to yourself,
write it on a sticky paper and put it on your mirror, etc etc. You
keep it fresh and upfront. You say it to yourself or out loud
before you put your feet on the floor in the morning and as you
fall asleep at night. It serves as your guiding principle for how
you make your choices each day.
!!(Feel free to share it with me at ava@avadiamondlcsw.com)
!!
Internal and External Resources:
your “wealth” for health
!One of the Mental Fitness Coaching exercises that ALL of my
clients are required to do is to take an inventory of their existing
internal resources, or the personality traits and information that
they are their “assets” ready to invest in their wellness, and
external resources, or the people/places/things that are already
in reach to help them with their process of betterment.
!Internal resources are shored up and maximized through Mental
Fitness Coaching and used to compensate for or eliminate the
presence of internal barriers (fears, insecurities, erroneous self-
beliefs or ideas about opportunities).
!External resources are evaluated for how to enhance connection
with people, create a collaboration, utilize funds, participate in
activities, and frequent places that support and promote the
wellness goals you strive to attain.
!With this mini-guide, you will do your own evaluation of your
Internal and External Resources:
!INTERNAL RESOURCES:
What is it about YOU that fosters movement toward your goals
physically, professionally, and in relationships?
Personality traits-
Information-
Purpose-
!
What parts of your personality do you need to use more regularly
and what parts do you need to pay attention to and reduce as
they interfere with your fulfillment or success often?
!What information do you have that is accurate and effective for
you to use more and what information do you need to add so
that you can pursue your vision professionally, physically, and in
relationships?
!Now, here is the magic question: “What’s your Why?”
Why are your seeking this goal? After the first response to your
“why”, go beneath that answer. Why is that answer important to
you? And…again…go beneath and answer the same question.
!Have a healthy marriage with your “why”. - Ava Diamond’s
Mental Fitness Coaching
!For those of you who don’t know what that means (and we all
know that it isn’t always so obvious):
It means being loyal to your why.
It means respecting your why. I
t means caring for your why when needed.
It means celebrating your why.
It means being proud of your why.
It means communicating your why in all that you choose to do
personally, professionally, and physically.
!It is your purpose. Purpose is an eternal resource for “anti-
aging”, by the way. Research shows that people who have a
clearly defined purpose life years longer and with much more
satisfying lives! SO…plant your purpose and garden it daily.
!!EXTERNAL RESOURCES:
Make a list of your the people, places, and things (including
finances) that will empower you to walk your new path toward
actualizing your best self in one or more areas of your life.
What kind of person, place, or thing do you need to add in order
to build the life you desire?
One of the key ingredients to the actualization of your goals and
optimal life is to harness the power of humility. Humility is too
often confused with shame or inadequacy, which results in a
discomfort with seeking what you need to maximize self.
Humility is the “space-saver” for absorbing new thought. It
allows us to be open to the people, experiences, and information
that we come in contact with in ways that increase possibilities
rather than keeping us living in our own heads.
!Build your “GoTo Team”. Develop a relationship of reciprocity
regarding support for each other’s professional, physical, or
relationship goal-attainment. Who are they and WHY are they on
your list? (Don’t forget to put yours truly on your GoTo Team as
I am here for you via this book, the full Mental Fitness Coaching
Workbook, and my 1:1 Coaching!)
!!Now that you are better aware of what you’ve got going for you
on your own and with your people, places, and things, it’s time to
evaluate the Barriers that interfere with your reaching your goals
physically, mentally, professionally, and in relationships. Barrier
Breakthroughs may require actual coaching, but the first step to
eliminating them is to know what they are! When asked what
interferes with their success, many clients of mine give me
answers like, “I don’t have time” or “I don’t want to miss out” or
“I can’t take the risk” or “I just accept that it won’t change”.
!While there are important uses of acceptance for really
preserving your energy and doing the things you can, too often
acceptance is a copout! Not having time, feeling like your going
to “miss out”, or fearing change are all layers of AVOIDANT
BEHAVIOR, folks. Avoiding challenge is a basic instinct that
serves us well at times, but in the instance of personal growth it
does the exact opposite. We no longer need to fear the Saber
Tooth Tiger outside our cave door. More than ever, we have the
ability to try new behaviors, test new ideas, practice new skills,
meet more people AND still protect and care for ourselves well in
the process. FEAR interferes every single time. Fear of
failure. Fear of success. Fear of change. Fear of stagnation.
Fear of loss. Fear of gain. Fear of knowledge. Fear of ignorance.
Fear is a four letter word that keeps us stuck and causes abortion
of our mission to achieve a goal or live an optimal life.
!!!
!In the complete Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook, there
will be more guided exercises in realizing and managing
your personal Barriers.
!Here, you can start to consider what barriers exist by asking
yourself:
!1. What are the repeated messages you give yourself and/or say
out loud to others about your work, your body, your
relationships?
2. What language do you use and when did you start applying
those words to yourself?
3. Were they first used about you by someone else (ie a teacher,
a parent, a friend, a spouse)?
4. Were they once accurate but no longer relevant to who you
are today?
5. How does fear connect with those messages that you use to
define yourself (either in your own mind or outloud)?
!!!!!
!Flexible Discipline: how to stay true to your goals when
life happens.
!We all know that there is a wealth of information out there
regarding weight loss, muscle gain, career development, dating
and relationship betterment, etc. Most of us also have a decent
amount of that information in their own heads ready to use when
we choose to think about it. That said, equal to the amount of
info that exists are the amount of excuses that create the “falling
off of the proverbial wagon”. It’s not about not having a plan, it’s
about not sticking with it.
!Ideas/Intentions may start out like this:
“I want to lose weight.”
“I am going to build muscle and lose fat”.
“I am going to get healthier this year”.
“I am ready to change my career”.
“I am open to a relationship”.
“New year, new you…time for me to invest in me”.
“I want to be fit and happy by my birthday”.
etc etc etc
!A plan may even be created. External resources may have been
acquired: gym, trainer, nutritionist, career coach, therapist,
online class, dating site profile, or a conversation with your
significant other about having “Date Night” each week. However,
the internal resources may lose their impact by those
INTERFERING THOUGHTS. Consequent actions result in lack of
adherence to your great intentions and developed plans.
!So, then ideas start to sound like this:
“I don’t have time.”
“I will after the Holidays”.
“I’m too old”.
“I don’t want to miss out”.
“I have to unwind on the weekends.”
“There’s a party”.
“I have exams/deadlines/too much work”.
!
Over the years, tons of clients, friends, and family members have
commented on my discipline as I am gearing up for a special
photo shoot then a competition when I am either surrounded by
real homemade Italian pizza and on vacation with a crew of
serious eaters or going to a wedding or “just saying no” to a
cocktail. These experiences are not overly difficult for me
because my clarity and conviction are super solid toward my
goals. My response to them, however, for their purposes and
mine goes like this:


“I think to myself what do I want more: 15 minutes of
satisfying flavor or the goal that I am working towards”. -
Ava Diamond, Mental Fitness Coach
!or
!“I came for the company, not the cupcakes (or
cocktails)”.- Ava Diamond, Mental Fitness Coach
!!In order to best serve my clients with a strategy that allows us all
to live life on life’s terms while staying true to our intentions and
goals, I developed the concept of FLEXIBLE DISCIPLINE.
!!Flexible Discipline is the adherence enhancer!
You have your goals. You have your game plan for reaching your
goals. Within that game plan, you have life happen. Flexible
Discipline is the planful deviation from that game plan. Flexible
Discipline sounds like this,
!It says, "OK, I was invited to this party and I want to go and
enjoy all aspects of it. So, I will plan to sample the snacks from
8pm-8:30pm and will have one cocktail and drink it over the
entire evening" or
!"I am exhausted and don't want to workout so tonight I will go to
bed early to rejuvenate my body" or
!"I will go to the gym and only do the exercises that I love the
most" or
!"Tomorrow I will wake up earlier than usual and add a twenty
minute walk in the morning" or
!
"Instead of going to the gym, I will blast some music in my living
room and dance for twenty minutes!" (Keep in mind that often
"exhaustion" is NOT because of sleep deprivation but because of
STRESS. Dancing around, as silly as it sounds, will allow you to
decrease stress as you lose yourself in the music and de-stress
your brain chemistry simultaneously.)
!Flexible Discipline as a planful deviation is protective
measure against relapse or derailment ladies and
gentlemen. In this case relapse is defined by going way off your
nutrition plan or avoiding a workout of some kind for days on
end.
!When I am in competition prep, I am well aware (as is my own
Coach!) that staying on point, or 100% adherhence, with
nutrition is just not possible 365 days of the year. Hence,
competition prep has an “on season” and an “off season” food
plan. Even on season, a good coach will tell you that being 95-
100% accurate with your plan is going to get you where you
want to be as long as you have consistency over time and your
“cheats” are planned with certain macro nutrients considered. It
does not mean eating a donut when you are 12 weeks away from
the stage. For me, it means the Potato Chip Principle:
!I know what a chip tastes like as I have enjoyed them for
decades. It won’t be anything new to me and my goals matter
more than reliving an experience that I have had countless
times. I am craving salt and carbs, however. So, I will take two
thick pita chip and break it up into a few pieces…and slowly enjoy
the crunchy bits. Believe it or not, it works to satiate the craving
because I have the Mindset that Matters!
!DERAILMENT is caused by the cognitive blocks and deregulating
behavior patterns that interfere with you achieving, maintaining,
surpassing your goals in any part of your life. We already talked
about those Barriers a bit in this mini-guide and the complete
Mental Fitness Workbook walks you through barrier
breakthroughs.
!!!!!!!
!GLOSSARY OF MENTAL FITNESS COACHING TERMS
(to keep in your “back pocket”)
!A long time ago, almost three decades in fact, I began my career
in the mental health realm. I was a Counselor for emotionally
disturbed males ages 8-14 years old in their group home in Santa
Monica, California. Most were in the foster care system, but
some had a parent or two who on occasion came to visit or take
them for a weekend. One of the boys was heading “home” for a
day and was at a point in his mindset and early adolescence
where the temptation of getting involved with his neighborhood
gang was looming large. Before he left for the day, I gave him a
note to put in his back pocket. I asked him to take it out and
read it when he felt the excitement or pull of joining the boys on
the corner that day. The note said, “Being me means being free”.
They were words that he had said to me walking on the Santa
Monica Pier as we looked out into the Ocean. When he returned
the next morning, he told me that he did what I had asked and
the words stopped him from going down the street that day.
!So, I say to you: take your most powerful words from the
exercises you have done with this mini-guide, along with this
easy-to-remember Mental Fitness Coaching terms, and put them
in your proverbial “back pocket” to utilize when needed:
!Clarity and Conviction are the Two C’s of suCCess: with
clear vision of who you are and what you want to achieve, the
breakthrough of barriers that interfere, and flexible discipline,
you have both Clarity and Conviction.
!!PMS: Personal Mission Statement: your guiding principle for
all of the choices you make today.
!Internal Resources: personality traits and knowledge that
empower your optimal functioning.
!External Resources: your “GoTo Team” of humans for feedback,
information, and skills that you don’t have yourself; the things
that are available to you for supporting your pursuits, such as
money, places, equipment, and the world wide web!
!Barriers: the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that interfere with
your moving forward or staying consistent with your goals.
Barrier Breakthroughs: Mental Fitness Coaching strategies
designed to eliminate or reduce the fears, ideas, and language
you use to describe yourself or your world that hinder your self-
actualization and optimal life.
!Flexible Discipline: The practice of staying true to your goals
and using planned deviation from them to manage “life on life’s
terms”.
!Planned Deviation: Pre-empting a situation and creating a plan
for managing it that may not be part of your original strategy for
reaching your goal, but can either be compensated for another
time or can be accepted as a temporary detour out of interest or
necessity. Planned Deviations should not be either over-used or
under-valued as part of healthy goal-pursuance.
!!Thank you for actively reading through this mini-guide of Mental
Fitness Coaching. It can be considered the first layer of bricks in
building your ideal life. The full workbook, and of course the 1:1
or small group LIVE Mental Fitness Coaching program with me,
provides the next several layers for customized co-construction of
your optimal life.
!
I can provide the materials and the blueprint, teach you how to
use the tools, and support you as you hammer away at your
masterpiece. Please order my Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook
this September to really dive in and discover your personal power
in creating the life that you desire and deserve! It will include
my unique strategies for:
!*Mindset that Matters
*Flexible Discipline
*REACH (Reinvestment, Engagement, Activation and Conviction
for Health)
*The Prize in the Process
*Formula CHUG (the effective balance of confidence, humility,
uniqueness, and gratitude)
*Resiliency/burnout prevention and reduction
*Voice of Value
*And more……
!
I trust that you will email me with any questions or
comments that you have about this mini-guide and I
appreciate your feedback. I request your review on
Kindle and ideas about ordering the full Mental Fitness
Coaching Workbook or 1:1 Coaching Program.
!
Let’s Grow!
!
Email: ava@avadiamondlcsw.com
!
www.avadiamondlcsw.com
Facebook: Mental Fitness Coaching
!!!
Diamond Development….
developing your precious self.
!!!!!
!!
!
!!
!
!

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A MINI-GUIDE TO MENTAL FITNESS

  • 1. Congratulations! The moment you begin your Mental Fitness Coaching program with me is a defining one marked by your willingness to discover personal power. Being an active reader of this mini-guide to Life-lifting is like opening the window on the first Spring-like morning. Just as that opening allows fresh air to circulate the room and remind you that the growth of new life is coming, your use of this mini-guide will allow fresh thought to circulate your brain and create actions to nourish new growth mentally, professionally, physically, and in relationships. Are you ready to breathe in new ideas, develop new strategies, and actualize your best self? Ask yourself the following questions (and answer in writing for referencing later on): !1. What does your optimal life consist of physically, professionally, and in relationships? 2. Have you experienced “success” in any of those areas of your life before and, if so, did it last? 3. Have you started a diet or joined a gym and stopped more than once? 4. Do you wake up with a sense of purpose that fuels you to be most effective in your work and play? 5. Have you learned how to voice your thoughts, feelings, ideas in personal or professional relationships with clarity and confidence? 6. Does fear interfere with your making changes in jobs or romances? 7. Have you resigned yourself to believing that it’s “as good as it can get”? 8. Do you find that you have self-defeating thoughts regarding your body, your profession, or your role in relationships? 9. Are you stuck in patterns of behaving that slow or stop positive movement toward your goals? 10. Do you realize the possibilities that either exist or can be created to allow you to build your optimal life? !
  • 2. Your “core” consists of your deeply held beliefs, values, and intentions. Your core is your personal, internalized “app” for how you act. How you act determines how you reach your goals. You will do the “core” work that stabilizes the relationship between your intentions and your actions. The result: ! Core Power for Life-lifting! !!!!!While this mini-guide is a preliminary tool to help you get started, the full Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook will be your in-depth resource for customized Life-lifting strategies as my Mental Fitness Coaching tips and concepts will also have question and answers areas for you to insert your own current conditions and how the Mental Fitness Coaching techniques can assist you to reach your optimal outcomes. Additionally, when you purchase the Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook, you are able to email me with any questions you have so that I can best assist you with developing what I call the Two C’s of suCCess: Clarity and Conviction. Yes, purchasing the full workbook gives you access to email coaching from me because I want you to make it happen! Additionally, being a Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook owner will allow you a discount on any 1:1 coaching sessions you may decide would enhance your self-actualization progress. !We will share a relationship through this text by your learning my language cues for behavioral shifts that yield adherence to your goals. I will become that positive guiding “voice in your ear” as you go through your day facing life on life’s terms while trying to remain consistent with your pursuit of excellence in mind, body, career, parenting, and romance. So get out the old school pen and paper so you can maximize this Mental Fitness Coaching mini-guide’s suggestions for creating your authentic life. !!!!!!!!
  • 3. Who am I and what is Mental Fitness? !For the last 24 years, I have developed my Clinical expertise in addiction and trauma recovery through excellent academic experience at Columbia University in New York City and a range of treatment settings serving different age groups with different issues. I have worked individually with Clients, developed and run group therapy programs, trained Clinicians, and created unique support/education programs. I have taught a resiliency (burnout reduction) program I developed at Yale University School of Medicine, been interviewed for multiple National podcasts and radio shows, and had numerous articles published in wellness magazines. However, it wasn’t until midlife that I realized my niche in the field of human development. !At 47, after several years of being a “gym rat” with my serious hobby of weight training, one more person approached me saying, “You should compete”. Instead of my usual answer of, “that’s so not me…I am not comfortable on a stage in front of all of those people judging me that way”, I began to ask questions. “What would I need to do?” !When I returned home from the gym that evening, my son who was a Junior in high school at the time, told me he was going out for the school golf team…AGAIN. This would be the third year he tried out and, as the Mama Bear mode kicked in, I had the thought of “Oh no!!! I need to protect you from the risk of hurt and disappointment!!!” and instead chose these words, “Wow…ya know, if you can keep putting yourself out there like that and try again, I can put MYSELF out there and take my sport to the next level, too!” Yes, I would strive to overcome my last bit of shyness leftover from childhood while my son would overcome fear of rejection. !That April, he made the golf team and I won my first bodybuilding competition in NYC. The thrill of “winning” was magical, yes. However, as my Mental Fitness Coaching concept identifies, the real Prize was in the Process of mastering mind and body
  • 4. Over the next few years going from amateur to pro level in my sport, meeting and interviewing hundreds of bodybuilding competitors from all walks of life from physicians to pilots to supplement reps to college students to seniors (yes, over 65 yrs old), I began to write about the ways people have used their physical pursuits to enhance their mental and professional paths to personal greatness. I studied what I call the Mindset that Matters for adherence to nutrition plans and training in order to reach physical goals. Mental Fitness Coaching emerged as a different kind of mind:body exercise. It has a life coaching kind of approach but is grounded in evidence-based clinical theory. Mental Fitness Coaching serves my clients who are going through transitions or experiencing a lack of fulfillment in some part of their life. Whether they are Emerging Adults (going from teen to adult), going through divorce or loss, in Midlife Crisis (that we turn to Midlife Creation), struggling with staying on course for their fitness goals, or realizing that they need to go down a new road for optimal living, my Clients are able to eliminate those cognitive and behavioral interferences and take on effective strategies for making life happen as they want it to. I am honored to have witnessed the evolution and success of 1000’s of people using my approaches. Now, it’s your turn. Let’s grow!
  • 5. This Mental Fitness Coaching mini-guide is designed to give you some things to consider about personal growth and what may block you from reaching your potential in any one area of your life. You may have some significant interferences, such as addictions, mental health complications, or existing traumatic or challenging life experiences that are not going to go away quickly. While my expertise is in all of those conditions, this mini-guide will only potentially help you to realize the professional resources you need to acquire to build what I call your “External Resources” to find your footing and then make your best life happen. For many of you, whether you have those bigger interferences or not, this mini-guide will potentially help you to fine tune your next steps toward creating the life you want and deserve. Here are the 5 Steps you will take to start: !1. You will redefine and personalize terms of Clarity, Conviction, and Success. 2. You will evaluate your “Internal Resources” that you can utilize to create your strategic plan. 3. You will determine what or who you need as “External Resources” to create what I call your “GoTo’s” for information, support, assistance. 4.You will start to recognize Barriers & Breakdowns that interfere with staying on course and reaching your goals. 5.You will learn about Flexible Discipline as an approach to remain the Master of your Mind and Body while living life on life’s terms. !Lastly, I will give you some key Mental Fitness Coaching phrases to keep in your back pocket in order to pull out when needing in- the-moment guidance for your next choice. !
  • 6. This mini-guide will get your wheels turning and your body burning with expanded ideas and effective actions that bring you one step closer to the professional, physical, and relationship quality you desire. !!! The Two C’s of suCCess: Clarity and Conviction !I. Clarity: sharpness of image; coherence. II. Conviction: firmly held belief; drive !Often you will read about the power of envisioning your desired outcome in order to best assure that it will come to fruition. What is both implied and, at times, definitively stated is that by seeing clearly in your own mind what you want in your real life will “draw it to you” with your energy of sorts. I do believe that we generate energy that can bring opportunities to the forefront; however, I believe that happens because when we stay focused on what we desire and channel our energy in that direction we simply become more aware of those opportunities rather than missing them because we are distracted. Distraction, or a shift in priorities, happens for a number of reasons that include a range from a true pressing need to straight up avoidance. Mental Fitness Coaching uses a few strategies to hone your vision of what you want your career or body or relationship to be like and then the technique of Flexible Discipline to help you manage distractions that are necessary while removing avoidance, or what I call “interferences”. The first exercise to gain Clarity is for you to develop your Personal Mission Statement. !
  • 7. A Personal Mission Statement (PMS) is much like a company’s mission statement as it serves as your guiding principle for how you make your daily decisions. Your PMS remains consistent for months or years and is used in a mantra- like manner to embed intentionality and create a key ingredient to actualizing your best self: congruence between intentions and actions. By rehearsing and utilizing your PMS, you will exercise your clarity and enhance your conviction. ! “Clarity and Conviction are the two C’s of suCCess”. - Ava Diamond’s Mental Fitness Coaching !Your PMS should be one or two sentences long only. It should be constructed of words that have powerful impact, significant meaning in your own mind and heart. It should be connected to your goals yet general enough to be utilized every single day. Are you looking at my words right now and feeling baffled a bit? Well, here is a personal example of how my PMS allowed me to make personal gains physically, professionally, and emotionally about 15 years ago: !I was 38 years old when my beautiful, angelic Mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was in that moment of her diagnosis that I had an epiphany of sorts: “I cannot live a dormant life any longer”. Having had 3 children in 4 years time, I was working part-time but parenting over-time. I had an empty marriage and had lost myself to what I now call, “Diaper Darkness”. My Mother’s shortened life sentence was a wake up call to me to start living life fully again. Longer story shortened, I exited my vacuous marriage, reclaimed my physical self through running and weight training regularly, and began to branch out in private practice work to build my unique brand of therapeutic services. I realized that I could, in fact, be an even better Mom to my three kids by living authentically and modeling how to make life happen well. During this transition time, I helped my own Mom live life well for the balance of her days on Earth. Yes, all at the same time I was dealing with the divorce and dying processes. !
  • 8. I watched a movie called, “What the Bleep Do we Know” one night and because I was ready to receive and utilize certain messages, I accepted the concept of Quantum Physics that if I could channel my energy into envisioning my ideal life that I would, in fact, turn that vision to reality. They talked about intentionality in the film. The next day, I created a daily intention to use every day for a long period of time in order to fuel my focus. Given the circumstances in my life, I chose the following: 
 ! “I will not let anything interfere with my happiness today”.
  • 9. Given everything that was going on in my life at the time, this may seem like an odd and unrealistic intention for each day. In fact, what the words meant to me was that I would certainly feel what I needed to feel in the face of death and divorce, but that I would not let those feelings consume me. I would cry or recognize frustrations, but I would return to neutral (or what I much later realized was my Condition of Joy) in order to get to the “happy place” sooner than later. So, I would share difficult news with my three kids in age-appropriate ways, hold them and their sadness or fears, and then wrap up the grief with the consistent reminder that “We are Overcomers”. Resilience was fostered for all of us through this process of turning pain into pride and purpose. I started to call my mantra above my Personal Mission Statement because the word “mission” had a significant level of conviction in my mind. One day, as I was preparing to go to my new job, our new babysitter found out that a relative had passed away in New York City. She was distraught and I quickly scrambled to find ways to her get to the City and me to work and not have my kids come home from school to an empty house. The timing would be tight, but enough for me to drive her there and then get to work on time, and have my neighbor go to my house until I can get home. Of course, life on life’s terms did not have the same plan for me that day. A cable on the George Washington Bridge gave out and created a parking lot on I-95….for FIVE HOURS. Pre- PMS, I would have likely gotten pretty anxious and maybe even exhibited some level of Road Rage. On that day, however, I closed my eyes and said my PMS, “I will not let anything interfere with my happiness today” and as I said the words, I breathed in slowly and centered myself. I called my new job and explained. I looked in the rear view mirror where the super sad babysitter had cried herself to sleep in my living room on wheels (a Suburban XL). I reframed the traffic jam by asking myself, “when was the last time you sat for a few hours and did NOTHING?” The answer being “Not in years” allowed me to find a great music channel, recline my seat, and just CHILL. I rejuvenated on this little highway vacation from my daily pace. !So, what would YOUR personal mission statement sound like?
  • 10. HINT: it should always include the word “today” as in “today I will….” or “…..today”. It should be relatively easy to remember because the words ring so true in your heart that you feel them as it beats. You make it your screensaver, text it to yourself, write it on a sticky paper and put it on your mirror, etc etc. You keep it fresh and upfront. You say it to yourself or out loud before you put your feet on the floor in the morning and as you fall asleep at night. It serves as your guiding principle for how you make your choices each day. !!(Feel free to share it with me at ava@avadiamondlcsw.com) !! Internal and External Resources: your “wealth” for health !One of the Mental Fitness Coaching exercises that ALL of my clients are required to do is to take an inventory of their existing internal resources, or the personality traits and information that they are their “assets” ready to invest in their wellness, and external resources, or the people/places/things that are already in reach to help them with their process of betterment. !Internal resources are shored up and maximized through Mental Fitness Coaching and used to compensate for or eliminate the presence of internal barriers (fears, insecurities, erroneous self- beliefs or ideas about opportunities). !External resources are evaluated for how to enhance connection with people, create a collaboration, utilize funds, participate in activities, and frequent places that support and promote the wellness goals you strive to attain. !With this mini-guide, you will do your own evaluation of your Internal and External Resources: !INTERNAL RESOURCES: What is it about YOU that fosters movement toward your goals physically, professionally, and in relationships? Personality traits- Information- Purpose- !
  • 11. What parts of your personality do you need to use more regularly and what parts do you need to pay attention to and reduce as they interfere with your fulfillment or success often? !What information do you have that is accurate and effective for you to use more and what information do you need to add so that you can pursue your vision professionally, physically, and in relationships? !Now, here is the magic question: “What’s your Why?” Why are your seeking this goal? After the first response to your “why”, go beneath that answer. Why is that answer important to you? And…again…go beneath and answer the same question. !Have a healthy marriage with your “why”. - Ava Diamond’s Mental Fitness Coaching !For those of you who don’t know what that means (and we all know that it isn’t always so obvious): It means being loyal to your why. It means respecting your why. I t means caring for your why when needed. It means celebrating your why. It means being proud of your why. It means communicating your why in all that you choose to do personally, professionally, and physically. !It is your purpose. Purpose is an eternal resource for “anti- aging”, by the way. Research shows that people who have a clearly defined purpose life years longer and with much more satisfying lives! SO…plant your purpose and garden it daily. !!EXTERNAL RESOURCES: Make a list of your the people, places, and things (including finances) that will empower you to walk your new path toward actualizing your best self in one or more areas of your life. What kind of person, place, or thing do you need to add in order to build the life you desire?
  • 12. One of the key ingredients to the actualization of your goals and optimal life is to harness the power of humility. Humility is too often confused with shame or inadequacy, which results in a discomfort with seeking what you need to maximize self. Humility is the “space-saver” for absorbing new thought. It allows us to be open to the people, experiences, and information that we come in contact with in ways that increase possibilities rather than keeping us living in our own heads. !Build your “GoTo Team”. Develop a relationship of reciprocity regarding support for each other’s professional, physical, or relationship goal-attainment. Who are they and WHY are they on your list? (Don’t forget to put yours truly on your GoTo Team as I am here for you via this book, the full Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook, and my 1:1 Coaching!) !!Now that you are better aware of what you’ve got going for you on your own and with your people, places, and things, it’s time to evaluate the Barriers that interfere with your reaching your goals physically, mentally, professionally, and in relationships. Barrier Breakthroughs may require actual coaching, but the first step to eliminating them is to know what they are! When asked what interferes with their success, many clients of mine give me answers like, “I don’t have time” or “I don’t want to miss out” or “I can’t take the risk” or “I just accept that it won’t change”. !While there are important uses of acceptance for really preserving your energy and doing the things you can, too often acceptance is a copout! Not having time, feeling like your going to “miss out”, or fearing change are all layers of AVOIDANT BEHAVIOR, folks. Avoiding challenge is a basic instinct that serves us well at times, but in the instance of personal growth it does the exact opposite. We no longer need to fear the Saber Tooth Tiger outside our cave door. More than ever, we have the ability to try new behaviors, test new ideas, practice new skills, meet more people AND still protect and care for ourselves well in the process. FEAR interferes every single time. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of change. Fear of stagnation. Fear of loss. Fear of gain. Fear of knowledge. Fear of ignorance. Fear is a four letter word that keeps us stuck and causes abortion of our mission to achieve a goal or live an optimal life. !!!
  • 13. !In the complete Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook, there will be more guided exercises in realizing and managing your personal Barriers. !Here, you can start to consider what barriers exist by asking yourself: !1. What are the repeated messages you give yourself and/or say out loud to others about your work, your body, your relationships? 2. What language do you use and when did you start applying those words to yourself? 3. Were they first used about you by someone else (ie a teacher, a parent, a friend, a spouse)? 4. Were they once accurate but no longer relevant to who you are today? 5. How does fear connect with those messages that you use to define yourself (either in your own mind or outloud)? !!!!!
  • 14. !Flexible Discipline: how to stay true to your goals when life happens. !We all know that there is a wealth of information out there regarding weight loss, muscle gain, career development, dating and relationship betterment, etc. Most of us also have a decent amount of that information in their own heads ready to use when we choose to think about it. That said, equal to the amount of info that exists are the amount of excuses that create the “falling off of the proverbial wagon”. It’s not about not having a plan, it’s about not sticking with it. !Ideas/Intentions may start out like this: “I want to lose weight.” “I am going to build muscle and lose fat”. “I am going to get healthier this year”. “I am ready to change my career”. “I am open to a relationship”. “New year, new you…time for me to invest in me”. “I want to be fit and happy by my birthday”. etc etc etc !A plan may even be created. External resources may have been acquired: gym, trainer, nutritionist, career coach, therapist, online class, dating site profile, or a conversation with your significant other about having “Date Night” each week. However, the internal resources may lose their impact by those INTERFERING THOUGHTS. Consequent actions result in lack of adherence to your great intentions and developed plans. !So, then ideas start to sound like this: “I don’t have time.” “I will after the Holidays”. “I’m too old”. “I don’t want to miss out”. “I have to unwind on the weekends.” “There’s a party”. “I have exams/deadlines/too much work”. !
  • 15. Over the years, tons of clients, friends, and family members have commented on my discipline as I am gearing up for a special photo shoot then a competition when I am either surrounded by real homemade Italian pizza and on vacation with a crew of serious eaters or going to a wedding or “just saying no” to a cocktail. These experiences are not overly difficult for me because my clarity and conviction are super solid toward my goals. My response to them, however, for their purposes and mine goes like this: 
 “I think to myself what do I want more: 15 minutes of satisfying flavor or the goal that I am working towards”. - Ava Diamond, Mental Fitness Coach !or !“I came for the company, not the cupcakes (or cocktails)”.- Ava Diamond, Mental Fitness Coach !!In order to best serve my clients with a strategy that allows us all to live life on life’s terms while staying true to our intentions and goals, I developed the concept of FLEXIBLE DISCIPLINE. !!Flexible Discipline is the adherence enhancer! You have your goals. You have your game plan for reaching your goals. Within that game plan, you have life happen. Flexible Discipline is the planful deviation from that game plan. Flexible Discipline sounds like this, !It says, "OK, I was invited to this party and I want to go and enjoy all aspects of it. So, I will plan to sample the snacks from 8pm-8:30pm and will have one cocktail and drink it over the entire evening" or !"I am exhausted and don't want to workout so tonight I will go to bed early to rejuvenate my body" or !"I will go to the gym and only do the exercises that I love the most" or !"Tomorrow I will wake up earlier than usual and add a twenty minute walk in the morning" or !
  • 16. "Instead of going to the gym, I will blast some music in my living room and dance for twenty minutes!" (Keep in mind that often "exhaustion" is NOT because of sleep deprivation but because of STRESS. Dancing around, as silly as it sounds, will allow you to decrease stress as you lose yourself in the music and de-stress your brain chemistry simultaneously.) !Flexible Discipline as a planful deviation is protective measure against relapse or derailment ladies and gentlemen. In this case relapse is defined by going way off your nutrition plan or avoiding a workout of some kind for days on end. !When I am in competition prep, I am well aware (as is my own Coach!) that staying on point, or 100% adherhence, with nutrition is just not possible 365 days of the year. Hence, competition prep has an “on season” and an “off season” food plan. Even on season, a good coach will tell you that being 95- 100% accurate with your plan is going to get you where you want to be as long as you have consistency over time and your “cheats” are planned with certain macro nutrients considered. It does not mean eating a donut when you are 12 weeks away from the stage. For me, it means the Potato Chip Principle: !I know what a chip tastes like as I have enjoyed them for decades. It won’t be anything new to me and my goals matter more than reliving an experience that I have had countless times. I am craving salt and carbs, however. So, I will take two thick pita chip and break it up into a few pieces…and slowly enjoy the crunchy bits. Believe it or not, it works to satiate the craving because I have the Mindset that Matters! !DERAILMENT is caused by the cognitive blocks and deregulating behavior patterns that interfere with you achieving, maintaining, surpassing your goals in any part of your life. We already talked about those Barriers a bit in this mini-guide and the complete Mental Fitness Workbook walks you through barrier breakthroughs. !!!!!!!
  • 17. !GLOSSARY OF MENTAL FITNESS COACHING TERMS (to keep in your “back pocket”) !A long time ago, almost three decades in fact, I began my career in the mental health realm. I was a Counselor for emotionally disturbed males ages 8-14 years old in their group home in Santa Monica, California. Most were in the foster care system, but some had a parent or two who on occasion came to visit or take them for a weekend. One of the boys was heading “home” for a day and was at a point in his mindset and early adolescence where the temptation of getting involved with his neighborhood gang was looming large. Before he left for the day, I gave him a note to put in his back pocket. I asked him to take it out and read it when he felt the excitement or pull of joining the boys on the corner that day. The note said, “Being me means being free”. They were words that he had said to me walking on the Santa Monica Pier as we looked out into the Ocean. When he returned the next morning, he told me that he did what I had asked and the words stopped him from going down the street that day. !So, I say to you: take your most powerful words from the exercises you have done with this mini-guide, along with this easy-to-remember Mental Fitness Coaching terms, and put them in your proverbial “back pocket” to utilize when needed: !Clarity and Conviction are the Two C’s of suCCess: with clear vision of who you are and what you want to achieve, the breakthrough of barriers that interfere, and flexible discipline, you have both Clarity and Conviction. !!PMS: Personal Mission Statement: your guiding principle for all of the choices you make today. !Internal Resources: personality traits and knowledge that empower your optimal functioning. !External Resources: your “GoTo Team” of humans for feedback, information, and skills that you don’t have yourself; the things that are available to you for supporting your pursuits, such as money, places, equipment, and the world wide web! !Barriers: the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that interfere with your moving forward or staying consistent with your goals.
  • 18. Barrier Breakthroughs: Mental Fitness Coaching strategies designed to eliminate or reduce the fears, ideas, and language you use to describe yourself or your world that hinder your self- actualization and optimal life. !Flexible Discipline: The practice of staying true to your goals and using planned deviation from them to manage “life on life’s terms”. !Planned Deviation: Pre-empting a situation and creating a plan for managing it that may not be part of your original strategy for reaching your goal, but can either be compensated for another time or can be accepted as a temporary detour out of interest or necessity. Planned Deviations should not be either over-used or under-valued as part of healthy goal-pursuance. !!Thank you for actively reading through this mini-guide of Mental Fitness Coaching. It can be considered the first layer of bricks in building your ideal life. The full workbook, and of course the 1:1 or small group LIVE Mental Fitness Coaching program with me, provides the next several layers for customized co-construction of your optimal life. !
  • 19. I can provide the materials and the blueprint, teach you how to use the tools, and support you as you hammer away at your masterpiece. Please order my Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook this September to really dive in and discover your personal power in creating the life that you desire and deserve! It will include my unique strategies for: !*Mindset that Matters *Flexible Discipline *REACH (Reinvestment, Engagement, Activation and Conviction for Health) *The Prize in the Process *Formula CHUG (the effective balance of confidence, humility, uniqueness, and gratitude) *Resiliency/burnout prevention and reduction *Voice of Value *And more…… ! I trust that you will email me with any questions or comments that you have about this mini-guide and I appreciate your feedback. I request your review on Kindle and ideas about ordering the full Mental Fitness Coaching Workbook or 1:1 Coaching Program. ! Let’s Grow! ! Email: ava@avadiamondlcsw.com ! www.avadiamondlcsw.com Facebook: Mental Fitness Coaching !!! Diamond Development…. developing your precious self. !!!!!