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4 secrets of willpower
1. 4 Secrets of Willpower
By Nancie George
The good news: You probably have more
than you think.
Determination is a common quality among people with great willpower
Willpower is like a dirty word to some people. If
you’re trying to quit smoking, lose weight, or
stick to a new exercise routine, you may cringe
when you hear it mentioned. But what
willpower actually is and how to practice it is
often misunderstood.
“There are a lot of misconceptions or
misnomers about willpower. Even the name
willpower — people think they have it or don’t,”
says Scott Bea, PsyD, assistant professor of
medicine in the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio.
2. ”Willpower depends on the person’s capacity to
override an uncomfortable thought, action, or
impulse to occur without taking action toward
it.”
People with great willpower have some
qualities or characteristics in common including
a willingness to be uncomfortable, the ability to
delay gratification, and determination. Even if
you don’t possess all these qualities, there’s
still hope.
We asked the experts to share some secrets of
willpower with us, just in time for the New
Year:
1. Willpower is both learned and
natural. It’s just like any other muscle, says
psychologist Chloe Carmichael, PhD, who has a
private practice in New York City. “You're born
with a certain amount of natural ability, and
then you can develop it,” she explains.
“There are probably some folks by their DNA
that can tolerate discomforts much better than
other organisms, but I think that it’s something
that can be learned and cultivated also,” says
Dr. Bea. “It may be a trait or characteristic that
can be developed if people don’t have it
straightaway.”
2. Discomfort plays a big role. Willpower
has to do with the allowance of discomfort, Bea
says. “So much of willpower involves delay of
gratification, tolerating a short-term discomfort
in order to achieve a goal that’s deemed
worthwhile, and I think that’s the biggest part
3. of it.” The more willing you are to be
uncomfortable, the more you can develop that
characteristic, he says.
3. You’re probably practicing great
willpower right now. People don’t recognize
that things like going to school, sitting in
traffic, or waiting for your next paycheck are
acts of willpower, says Bea.
“Imagine any time you’re uncomfortable. How
about the sacrifices you make for your child or
your partner in life? People don’t often think
about those as displays of willpower or
willingness, willingness to be uncomfortable,
but people do it all the time,” he says.
4. Focus your attention. Willpower grows
stronger when we pay attention to it, says
Carmichael. You can increase your attention to
willpower by offering yourself positive
reinforcements for sticking with goals, she
says.
“Another way to increase attention to willpower
is to share your goals with friends and family.
Invite them to check in with you about your
goal. When they do this, it refocuses your
attention to your goal and the willpower you
need to achieve it.”
Expert Tips to Cultivate Willpower
Are you lacking in the willpower department?
Our experts shared some ways you can flex
your willpower muscle.
4. Think back on your
accomplishments. “First, notice the times in
your life where you’ve actually displayed the
ability to tolerate discomfort for a longer term
good that you deemed worthwhile,” says Bea.
Once you can get a list of those
accomplishments together, then you’ll see that
willpower might be something you had all along
but didn’t know it. One simple example would
be not scratching an itch. “That’s small, but it’s
a way to display to yourself that you’re able to
tolerate discomfort,” says Bea.
Remember your strategy. Bea says that the
number one reason people don’t reach their
goals is because they lack a good strategy.
“Try to understand, for the many things that
one has accomplished it wasn’t just willpower.
There may have been a strategy that one
employed,” he explains.
Cut yourself some slack. Carmichael believes
that willpower is a finite resource. “We only
have so much self-discipline available at any
given point in time,” she says. Because we may
not be able to both start a strict diet and quit
smoking at the same time, it’s wise to use
willpower strategically.
“For example, if you're going to a cocktail party
and the goal is to avoid overindulging on hors
d’oeuvres, give yourself leeway in some other
department — allow yourself to take a taxi to
the party instead of the subway, skip the
5. towering stilettos, or plan to sleep in late the
next morning,” she says.
Offer incentives. In order to achieve your
goal, offer yourself an incentive for your
discomfort. For example, if you’re trying to quit
smoking, offer yourself a financial incentive.
For each day that you don’t smoke,
compensate yourself for that discomfort. As a
longer-term incentive, pick out something you
really want and use that “discomfort money” to
buy it.
This employs the use of a strategy because
you’re compensating yourself for your
discomfort. You have incentive because you
want that financial reward, and if you fail then
you have the same incentive the next day to go
for it again.
Get active. Carmichael says that yoga and
meditation are excellent tools to increase
willpower. “Yoga involves mindful awareness of
many things, sometimes including minor
physical discomfort — anyone had their quads
burn during warrior pose before?” she says.
“Learning to greet minor discomfort as a
welcome sign of growth, while keeping your
mind focused on the pose, helps build
willpower and strength of mind.”
Makeover Your Goals
If you really want to work on cultivating
willpower, take a second look at your goals.
Makeover your goals so you’re more likely to
6. reach them. First, keep goals small,
measurable, and systematic. Remember to
celebrate small successes, and ditch
disqualifying self-talk like “I can’t,” “I’ll never,”
and “It’s impossible.”
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