An explanation of community vs separate property, what really does happen to the airline miles, as well as a brief primer of club memberships and pet custody.

1. And What About Those Airline Miles?!
The Mindful Divorce Support Group
Alexandra Baron, Esq. | 949-514-8600
themindfuldivorceoc.com

2. Disclaimer
• I am not a therapist. This support group is not intended to be therapy.
It is simply a forum to meet with other similarly situated individuals.

3. AGENDA
• Introductions
• Introduction to Positive Psychology and Mindfulness
• Mindfulness Meditation (15 minutes)
• Positive Psychology Exercise (15 minutes)
• Family Law Topic: That Credit Card Debt is Mine too?!
• Questions

4. POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY
• Introduced by Dr. Martin Seligman in 1998 in his APA Presidential Address to the American
Psychological Association.
• In the past 15 years, there have been 1,336 peer reviewed articles published in English academic
journals.1
• Evidence based research on cultivating happiness, strengths, self-esteem, and optimism.
• Contrasts with traditional psychology that focuses on pathology—alleviating neurosis, anxiety,
and depression—Positive Psychology focuses on cultivating happiness, strengths, self-esteem,
and optimism.
• “There are moments–maybe ongoing periods of time–when you are aligned with your strengths,
immersed in the actions that bring you fulfillment. The goal should not be to change you, but to
help you more consistently become the person you already are at your best."
1. Stewart I. Donaldson, Maren Dollwet & Meghana A. Rao (2015) Happiness, excellence, and optimal human functioning revisited: Examining
the peer-reviewed literature linked to positive psychology, The Journal of Positive Psychology: Dedicated to furthering research and promoting
good practice, 10:3, 185-195, DOI: 10.1080/17439760.2014.943801

5. POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY

6. EVIDENCE BASED RESULTS OF POSITIVE
PSYCHOLOGY STUDIES
• Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough published "Counting Blessings
Versus Burdens" showing that a consistent practice of gratitude increases
wellbeing.
• The "Does happiness lead to success?" study shows broad range of benefits,
from physiological health to financial and career success and greater social
engagement.
• Barbara Fredrickson publishes her 3:1 positivity ratio finding in Positivity.
• Maintaining a 3:1 positivity ratio of positive thoughts to negative emotions creates a
tipping point between languishing and flourishing.

7. TOPICS IN POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY
• Altruism, Gratitude and Forgiveness
• Optimism and Hope
• Wisdom and Courage
• Meaning making and Benefit Finding
• Resilience and Hardiness
• Character Strengths
• Mindfulness, Flow and Spirituality

8. POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY RESOURCES
• Notable books:
• Authentic Happiness by Dr. Martin Seligman
• Flourish by Dr. Martin Seligman
• The How of Happiness by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky
• Uncovering Happiness by Dr. Elisha Goldstein
• Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-
Shahar
• The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor
• Notable Magazines
• Live Happy

9. MINDFULNESS
• For several thousand years in the Buddhist tradition, mindfulness has
been known as the seventh element of the Noble Eightfold Path to
liberation and enlightenment.
• Mindfulness allows one to release any attachment to automatic
thoughts and negative patterns that sabotage happiness.
• In 1998, there were zero studies on mindfulness funded by the
National Institutes of Health. Currently, there have been over 70
studies done on mindfulness.
• Mindfulness successfully combats the symptoms of stress by rewiring
the brain.

10. MINDFULNESS MEDITATION
• Please follow the instructions of the guided meditation
• Duration: 15 Minutes
• Benefits:
• Even thirty minutes a day improves attention and focus of people with heavy
time demands
• After 40 minutes of meditation a day for between two to fifteen years the
regions associated with attention and sensory processing were thicker in
meditation participants than controls.
• Long term meditators were shown to have an outstanding ability to regulate emotion
and allow for well adjusted responses to whatever life throws

11. Positive Psychology Exercise
Expressive Writing: Writing about a traumatic experience for 15
minutes over the course of three to four days has been shown to
emotional and physical health benefits.
Studied by: James W. Pennebaker
• Long term benefits include:
• Fewer stress-related visits to the doctor
• Improved immune system functioning
• Improved mood/affect
• Feeling of greater psychological well-being
• Reduced depressive symptoms,
• Fewer post-traumatic intrusion and avoidance symptoms

12. EXPRESSIVE WRITING INSTRUCTIONS
• Duration: 15 minutes – For greater benefit do this again for the next
2-3 days.
• Instructions: Write your very deepest thoughts and feelings about the
most traumatic experience of your entire life or an extremely
important emotional issue that has affected you and your life.
• Once you begin writing, write continuously. Don’t worry about
spelling or grammar. If you run out of things to write about, just
repeat what you have already written.
• No feedback will be given on the writing, the writing is completely
confidential.

14. And What about Those Airlines Miles?!
• Priming Question: If the airline miles do not have a cash equivalent
value, how should they be divided?
• What is Priming?
Priming is an implicit memory effect in which exposure to one stimulus
influences a response to another stimulus.
• Example: Students in one study were read a list of words that
described old age. After being read this list, they walked more slowly
down the hallway.

15. And What about Those Airline Miles?!
Common Question: I’ve accumulated hundreds of thousands of miles,
who gets them?
• Family Law Principles:
• Community and Separate Property
• The problem: A spouse has traveled frequently due to work is now
possessive over the accumulated frequent flier miles.

16. WEDDING CRASHERS

17. COMMUNITY PROPERTY
CAL. FAM. CODE § 760
• Except as otherwise provided by statute, all property, real or personal,
wherever situated, acquired by a married person during the marriage
while domiciled in this state is community property.

18. SEPARATE PROPERTY
CAL. FAM. CODE § 770
(a) Separate property of a married person includes all of the following:
• (1) All property owned by the person before marriage.
• (2) All property acquired by the person after marriage by gift, bequest, devise, or descent.
• (3) The rents, issues, and profits of the property described in this section.
(b) A married person may, without the consent of the person's spouse, convey the
person's separate property.

19. Translating § 760 and § 770 into Plain English
• Community property is all property and earnings accumulated during
the marriage.
• Separate property is all property including all profits and rents and
earnings accumulated prior to the marriage and after the date of
separation, as well as gifts and inheritance received during the
marriage.
• Thus, the airline miles accumulated during the marriage are
community property.
• Community property assets AND debts are divided 50/50.

20. HANDLING AIRLINE MILES
1. The first step is to check the terms and conditions of your various rewards programs.
2. Be aware that some rewards programs do not allow transfers to a spouse as a part of a
divorce
3. If this occurs assign a value to the points if possible to use to trade for something
equivalent
4. If an exact cash value cannot be determined, you can estimate the value by
determining the cost of the ticket for the points required.
5. If the company will allow it, have the airline or other reward-granting program divide
the points equally into two separate accounts.
6. There may be fees incurred for transferring the points and/or resetting their expiration
dates.
7. If there are fees incurred for a transfer, decide ahead of time a plan for handling these
fees fairly.

21. CLUB MEMBERSHIPS
• Don’t forget about country
club, golf course and other
memberships
• Many clubs have a sizable
initiation fee as well as annual
dues
• These are negotiable assets to
divide

22. CUSTODY OVER PETS
• Pets are treated as property. High value pets may also be considered when
negotiating assets and debts.
• Pets are commonly assigned to the spouse with a more flexible schedule,
and/or who has historically taken care of the animal.
• If the pet is particularly sentimental to you try gathering documentation to show
you were the one who adopted or purchased the pet.
• If you were not the purchaser of the pet, information that may help to validate
your claims as primary caregiver would be receipts for veterinary care, licensing
records, receipts for grooming, dog training classes, food, and other items
purchased for the companion animal.
• If custody of a pet is important to you, make sure you inform your attorney or
mediator.

23. Questions
• Please let me know if you have any further questions on this or
another family law topic!
• E-mail address: alexandra@themindfuldivorceoc.com