In response to all the "write good content" advice posing as content marketing "secrets," I created this presentation to show what good content actually looks like. Business writers can learn a lot from fiction writers like Hunter S. Thompson and Ernest Hemingway, actor Stephen Fry, and even singer-songwriter Tom Waits. This is a PDF verison of the slide deck from my presentation at the MarketingProfs B2B Forum in October 2013, along with some presenter notes.

1. 7 Advanced Writing Techniques
to Make Your Blog a Smashing Success

3. Sturgeon's Law:
95% of everything
is crap.
— Theodore Sturgeon
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4. "Write good
content" is
stupid advice

5. The Basics
•Use active voice; passive voice is to
be avoided.
•Short words. Short sentences. Short
paragraphs.
•No infinitives/gerunds (also called
"future continuous").
•Subject & verb at beginning of the
sentence.
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6. 1. Write good ledes.
(Write like a journalist,
not a teenager in her diary.)
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A "lede" is the opening paragraph in a newspaper article. It was originally spelled "lead" (and
pronounced "leed"), but in order not to confuse it with the pieces of lead ("led") type, they
started calling it the "lede" instead.

7. "He coulda been
a credenza."
— David Knowles, The Daily
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8. These kill kittens!
• Webster's defines "mediocre" as. . .
• If you've been living under a rock. . .
• My friend, Steve, and I were at our favorite
coffee shop, drinking soy chai lattes. . .
• Take 2 parts "blah," and 3 parts "meh," and
mix them up to create the worst ledes ever.
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9. 2. Metaphors rule.
(Similes will do in a pinch.)
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10. Men's words are bullets, that
their enemies take up and make
use of against them.
— George Savile, Maxims of State
Life is like a box of chocolates.
— Forrest Gump
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11. Tom Waits

12. And the impending squint of first light
It lurked behind a weepin’ marquee in
downtown Putnam
It’d be pullin’ up any minute now
Just like a bastard amber Velveeta yellow cab
on a rainy corner
And be blowin’ its horn in every window in town
— Tom Waits, Nighthawks at the Diner, "Putnam County"
My favorite Tom Waits album is "Nighthawks at the Diner," and one of my favorite songs is
"Putnam County." This particular part of the song is about the sunrise, and I love how he equates
the mean light of the morning sun to an obnoxious taxi cab.

13. 3. Use Powerful Words
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14. Stephen Fry
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Stephen Fry did a special one-on-one interview with Craig Ferguson, and he discussed the
appropriateness and inappropriateness of using words like "kill," "torture," and "fuck." You can see it
here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntrSnMPr2X4

15. Kill,
Torture
Fuck
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16. 4. Eliminate adjectives
and adverbs.
(Especially adverbs.)
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18. 5. Eliminate
all the
Needless Words
in your work
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19. Use the BEST Words

20. Iceberg Theory
"For sale. Baby shoes.
Never used."

21. 6. Your English Teacher
Is Not a Writer
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22. If proper usage gets
in the way, it may
have to go.
I can’t allow what we
learned in English
composition to
disrupt the
sound and rhythm
of the narrative.
Elmore Leonard

23. Robert Lowth
Robert Lowth was a 17th century Latin scholar who decided that "do not split infinitives" was a rule, based on the notion that in Latin, there are no
two word infinitives — to run, to go, to eat. Since it was impossible to split them in Latin, he said we couldn't split them in English. It should never
have been a rule. It was the same for prepositions at the end of a sentence: "you can't do it in Latin, you shouldn't do it in English." Except that
should never have been a rule either. http://problogservice.com/2009/11/11/five-grammar-myths-exploded/

24. • Split infinitives boldly
• End sentences with prepositions
• Start sentences with And, But, Or
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25. 7. Write 3 – 5 good ledes.
String them together.
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26. Hunter S. Thompson would often write 3 – 5 solid lede-worthy sentences, string them together, and beat the reader with them, BAP BAP BAP! He
didn't do it all the time, and he would sometimes do it in the middle of a story. It was forceful and dramatic, and made the reader pay attention.
That's what an opening lede should do, so imagine the power it had when it appeared elsewhere.

27. We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert
when the drugs began to take hold.
I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit lightheaded;
maybe you should drive . . ."
And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the
sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and
screeching and diving around the car, which was going about
100 miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas.
And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these
goddamn animals?"
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— HST, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

28. Bonus:
"Write Drunk. Edit Sober."
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29. While Hemingway was known for his roaring drunkenness, he never actually wrote drunk. No matter what he did the night before, he was up and
writing by 6 am every day. He wrote until noon, then he edited his work, wrote letters, and THEN got drunk. He wanted us to write as if we had
been drinking — alcohol depresses our filters and blocks, which keep us from saying silly and/or truthful things. He encouraged us to tell the truth
as if we were drunk, but then to edit as if we were sober. Not to knock the edges off or to take out the honesty. No, that had to stay. Rather, fix it
and make it better, but never remove the truth.

30. Any Questions?
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31. Thank you!
Read me
ProBlogService.com
ErikDeckers.com
Reach me
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erik@problogservice.com