2. “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful
form of love. In return, you will receive
untold peace and happiness.”
3. WHAT IS ANGER???
Anger is a basic human emotion that
is experienced by all people.
Typically triggered by an emotional
hurt, anger is usually experienced as
an unpleasant feeling that occurs
when we think we have been injured,
mistreated, opposed in our long-held
views, or when we are faced with
obstacles that keep us from
attaining personal goals.
4. The experience of anger varies widely; how often anger
occurs, how intensely it is felt, and how long it lasts are
different for each person. People also vary in how easily
they get angry (their anger threshold), as well as how
comfortable they are with feeling angry. Some people are
always getting angry while others seldom feel angry. Some
people are very aware of their anger, while others fail to
recognize anger when it occurs. Some experts suggest
that the average adult gets angry about once a day and
annoyed or peeved about three times a day. Other anger
management experts suggest that getting angry fifteen
times a day is more likely a realistic average. Regardless of
how often we actually experience anger, it is a common and
unavoidable emotion.
5. Anger can be constructive or destructive. When well
managed, anger or annoyance has very few detrimental health
or interpersonal consequences. At its roots, anger is a signal
to you that something in your environment isn’t right. It
captures your attention and motivates you to take action to
correct that wrong thing. How you end up handling the anger
signal has very important consequences for your overall
health and welfare, however. When you express anger, your
actions trigger others to become defensive and angry too.
Blood pressures raises and stress hormones flow. Violence
can ensue. You may develop a reputation as a dangerous
'loose cannon' whom no one wants to be around.
6. WHAT IS FORGIVENESS???
Forgiveness is letting go of the
need for revenge and releasing
negative thoughts of bitterness
and resentment.
7. Forgiveness can be a gift that we give to ourselves. Here
are some easy steps towards forgiveness:
Acknowledge your own inner pain.
Express those emotions in non-hurtful ways without
yelling or attacking.
Protect yourself from further victimization.
Try to understand the point of view and motivations of
the person to be forgiven; replace anger with compassion.
Forgive yourself for your role in the relationship.
Decide whether to remain in the relationship.
Perform the overt act of forgiveness verbally or in writing.
If the person is dead or unreachable, you can still write
down your feelings in letter form.
8. What Forgiveness Is Not…
• Forgiveness is not forgetting or pretending it didn’t happen.
It did happen, and we need to retain the lesson learned
without holding onto the pain.
• Forgiveness is not excusing. We excuse a person who is not
to blame. We forgive because a wrong was committed.
• Forgiveness is not giving permission to continue hurtful
behaviors; nor is it condoning the behavior in the past or in
the future.
• Forgiveness is not reconciliation. We have to make a
separate decision about whether to reconcile with the
person we are forgiving or whether to maintain our distance.
9. Forgiving and letting go can be very
difficult challenges, but it’s even more
stressful to hold on to grudges. There are
several symbolic letting-go rituals that can
help with the process. If you are having
trouble forgiving someone else, write them
a letter expressing all of your feelings and
explaining why you need to let go. You
don’t need to mail that letter — it is
cathartic just to write it all down. You can
also write down all of your excess
“baggage” on a piece of paper and burn it
or cast it into the sea in a bottle when you
are ready to really let go
10. “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet
sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
11. Why Do I Need to Ask for Forgiveness???
Forgive and forget – how many times have you heard
these phrases? Most people would say forgive those who
have hurt you and have done you wrong and just let go of
the past. It is easy to say but much harder to do.
Forgiving is not an easy task. Letting go of the things
that have caused you pain or suffering is not at all easy.
Other people can forgive and forget easily but most have
a hard time.
12. But no matter how hard it is, it
is important to forgive.
Forgiving is healthy and holding
grudges will only leave you
suffering more. You are on the
losing side if you do not forgive.
It may do you more harm than
good.
Forgiving is one issue, asking
for forgiveness is another
different aspect of forgiveness.
13. A person who is sincerely ready to ask for forgiveness has
already let go of any negative pride that may have dwelled in his
heart for a period of time. Sincerely asking for forgiveness no
matter whose fault it is, is very courageous and admirable. Just
because it is not your fault does not necessarily mean you
should not ask for forgiveness. The other person may not be
ready to ask for forgiveness or to forgive so it your duty to take
the initiative and be the one to ask for forgives.
14. So why is it important to ask for forgiveness????
Ask for forgiveness to help you physically. Holding a grudge or anger has been
proven unhealthy. It may cause health problems like cancer, hypertension and other
cardiovascular diseases.
Ask for forgiveness with an eye toward an emotionally healthy you. Not only is
forgiving good for your physical well-being, it is also helpful in keeping you sane and
away from depression. Anger causes depression, anxiety and other negative
emotional thoughts and feelings.
Ask for forgiveness for peace of mind. Being angry at somebody else does not give
you a peace of mind and will always give you a feeling of uneasiness. Asking for
forgiveness to those persons you have hurt or have hurt you will give you a sense of
liberation and relief.
15. Ask for forgiveness for a better you. The major benefactor of asking for
forgiveness is not the person you have asked forgiveness of but it is you. You
ask for forgiveness not just because of the other person but because you want
to free yourself from anger, guilt and other negative feelings. You are not the
one defeated here. You are actually making yourself a winner once you have
asked for forgiveness.
Ask for forgiveness to renew a relationship. Finding people to be friends or
partners with in this world is a tough job. It may be difficult to find new people like
the ones you have been angry with. Nurturing a relationship is tough and once
that relationship is ruined with misunderstandings or quarrels, it is a big waste.
Asking for forgiveness can rebuild those broken relationships.
Ask for forgiveness to have a happier life ahead. Not forgetting the bad
things that have happened in the past and keeping anger in your heart against
those persons that you have acted negatively on or have hurt you, will not make
you a completely happy person. In order to go on fully with life and face new
challenges and experiences ahead, a person must let go of past anger. One can
never be fully happy and satisfied if something keeps on bothering them like
anger and guilt.
16. Now that you are convinced, that asking
for forgiveness is not only beneficial to the
other person but for you as well, maybe
you are asking, okay how do you do it?
Think about what really happened and
reflect on the things that have caused you
and the other person pain. Now organize
your thoughts and think of all the things
you want to say to that person, how sorry
you are, and how you felt about the
situation.
Swallow your pride and have the guts to
ask sincerely for forgiveness from that
person. After that give that person time to
reflect and think about what just happened.
That person may or may not be ready to
forgive you but what’s important is you
already did your part and that is the first
step in rebuilding your relationship with
each other.
17. Always remember that forgiving and asking for forgiveness are two of the most
important things that we should practice, as this will lead to a happier and more
peaceful life.
Stress and Anger have always been related with each other. There have been
countless studies, even more theories, about stress and anger and how they relate.
But, no matter how many studies are conducted, there will always be the questions
about whether or not stress and anger are related. But, I am here to provide the
facts on both stress and anger, and then allow you, as the reader, to determine the
relationship, because all-in-all, I feel that stress and anger can and cant be related,
depending on the circumstance
If psychologists completely understood how stress and fears developed, we would
know how to produce and reduce a phobia or an anxiety state. We don't. There
seems to be a wide variety of life experiences which result in some form of stress,
fear, anxiety, or psychosomatic illness. It would be convenient if life were simpler but
it isn't.
18. Changes, such as sudden trauma, several big crises, or many small daily hassles,
cause stress. Intense stress years earlier, especially in childhood, can predispose us
to over-react to current stress. Events, such as barriers and conflicts that prevent
the changes and goals we want, create stress. Having little control over our lives, e.g.
being "on the assembly line" instead of the boss, contrary to popular belief, often
increases stress and illness. Many environmental factors, including excessive or
impossible demands, noise, boring or lonely work, stupid rules, unpleasant people,
etc., cause stress. Conflicts in our interpersonal relationships cause stress directly
and can eventually cause anxieties and emotional disorders.
The human body has different ways of responding to stress; one quick responding
nerve-hormonal system involving adrenaline, another long-lasting system involving
cortisol, and perhaps others. These systems not only determine the intensity of our
anxiety reactions but also our attitudes.