A Presentation of a selection of Jokes / Humor pieces for 'Edutainment'. Reflections are given for all the jokes. The texts are in English and Chinese. For the Video (with audio narration and comments in English), please check out the Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-xv8_ximVU

1. 1
幽默、笑声和智慧

2. 2
‘A Laugh a day keeps the Doctor away’
“He who laughs, lasts!”
Mary Pettibone Poole
The Wise Ones, knowing the true nature of things,
live in harmony and peace with themselves,
with others and the outside world.
“一天一笑，医生远离我”
“笑的人能坚持下去”
智者，了解事物的真实本质，与自己、
与他人和外部世界和谐相处。

3. 3
“Let’s Get Married” “我们结婚吧”
An ugly-looking but brilliant doctor once
told a dull-witted nurse, “Even though
you have little brains your looks
are simply great!”
“Oh, thank you, Doctor,” the
dumb nurse said happily. “You know,
how great it’d be if we were to get
married …we’ll have children with your
intelligence and my looks.”
“What if our children have my looks and
your brains?” the doctor remarked.
一位长相丑陋但才华横溢的医生曾经对
一个愚蠢的护士说：“虽然你的脑袋很
小，但你的容貌简直太棒了！” “哦，
谢谢你，医生。”哑巴护士高兴地说。
“你知道，如果我们结婚该有多好……
我们会以你的智慧和我的容貌生孩子。”
“如果我们的孩子有我的长相和你的大
脑呢？” 医生说。
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
We cannot assume that things
will turn out the way we want
them to. Fantasy and reality can
be worlds apart.
我们不能假设事情会按照我们想
要的方式发展。 幻想和现实可
能是天壤之别。

4. 4
A man once budged his way into a
conference hall. As he had no name tag,
the usher threw him out of the side exit .
“Hey,” the man said. “Do you know that
I belong to a very important family
in town?”
The usher apologized to the man, got
him into the hall again, and then threw
him out through the main door.
The V.I.P 贵宾
有一次，一个人悄悄地走进了
会议厅。 由于他没有名牌，接
待员将他从侧出口扔了出去。
“嘿，”男人说。 “你知道我
属于镇上一个非常重要的家庭
吗？”招待员向那人道歉，又
把他带进了大厅，然后把他从
大门扔了出去。
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
Beware! The Ego, Pride, and
Conceit can lead a person to
much Dukkha or Suffering.
谨防！ 自我、骄傲和自负会
导致一个人遭受很多痛苦或
痛苦。

5. 5
A miser needed a hearing aid
but he was unwilling
to spend much money.
“How much does a pair cost?” he
asked the sales person.
“Oh, it can range between $2 and
$2000,” the sales person replied.
“I’ll try the $2 model,” the miser said.
The sales person helped the miser
put on the hearing device.
“It doesn’t work,” the miser said.
“What do you expect of a $2 thing? Anyway
people will talk louder when they see you
wearing it!” the salesman said.
The miser happily bought it.
Cheap Hearing Aid 便宜的助听器
一个吝啬鬼需要一个助听器，但他
不愿意花很多钱。“一双要多少
钱？”他问销售人员。“哦，价格
在 2 美元到 2000 美元之间，”销
售人员回答道。“我会试试 2 美元
的型号，”守财奴说。守财奴需要
一个助听器，但他不愿意花太多钱。
“一双要多少钱？”他问销售人员。
“哦，价格在 2 美元到 2000 美元
之间，”销售人员回答道。“我会
试试 2 美元的型号，”守财奴说。
售货员帮守财奴戴上助听器。“这
行不通，”守财奴说。“你对 2 美
元的东西有什么期望？反正人家看
到你戴了会说话的！”售货员说。
守财奴高兴地买了它。
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
A miser lives a life of suffering; he does not relate
well with others.
吝啬鬼过着苦难的生活； 他与他人的关系不好。

6. 6
The Cheating Husband 出轨的丈夫
A wife slapped her husband at the face after
discovering a piece of paper in his wallet with
the name “Betty” written on it.
“It was the name of a horse I bet on
yesterday,” the husband protested strongly.
The following day the wife
slapped the husband again.
“What was that for?” he asked.
“Your horse called last night,”
the wife replied.
一位妻子在丈夫的钱包里
发现一张写着“Betty”名
字的纸后，扇了他一巴掌。
“这是我昨天赌的一匹马
的名字，”丈夫强烈抗议。
第二天，妻子又打了丈夫
一巴掌。“那是干什么用
的？” 他问。“你的马昨
晚叫了，”妻子回答。
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
Lying and committing adultery are unwholesome
actions –
a breaking of moral precepts.
This will bring dukkha or suffering to the
wrong-doer and the victim of his wrong actions.
说谎和通奸是不善行——违反道德戒律。这会给
作恶者和他的错误行为的受害者带来苦或痛苦。

7. 7
“I know what you are up to now…” “我知道你现在在做什么……”
Husband: Darling, I’ve turned over a new
leaf. See …no more strands of ladies’ hair
on my shirt. I don’t fool around with women
anymore.
Wife: Some of my friends said that
they have seen you visiting temples. No
ladies’ hair on your shirt? You are now
fooling around with nuns!
老公：亲爱的，我翻开了新的一页。
看……我的衬衫上不再有女士的头
发。 我不再和女人鬼混了。
妻子：我的一些朋友说他们看到你
参观寺庙。 你的衬衫上没有女士的
头发？ 你现在在和修女鬼混！
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
When trust and understanding are
lacking in a marriage and there is
strong jealousy of one spouse
towards the other,
relationship is affected.
当婚姻中缺乏信任和理解，并且
一方对另一方产生强烈的嫉妒时，
关系就会受到影响。

8. 8
A Marriage Anniversary 结婚纪念日
A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th wedding
Anniversary. During their party, a wizard appeared to congratulate them and
grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world and
poof – the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.
Next, the wizard asked the husband what he wanted. He said, “I wish I had a
wife 30 years younger than me.”
The wizard picked up his wand and suddenly –
the husband was 90 years old.
一对60岁的已婚夫妇正在庆祝他们的结婚35周年。
在他们的聚会上，一位巫师出现向他们表示祝贺并
满足了他们每个人的愿望。 妻子想环游世界，然后
噗——妻子手里拿着环球游轮的票。接下来，巫师
问丈夫他想要什么。 他说：“我希望我有一个比我
小 30 岁的妻子。”巫师拿起他的魔杖，突然间——
丈夫已经 90 岁了。
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
Unwholesome thoughts or wishes sometimes come true in a most
unexpected manner to the disappointment or detriment of the wisher.
不健康的想法或愿望有时会以最意想不到的方式实现，
从而使许愿者感到失望或损害。

9. 9
A couple was having a heated argument over their teenage daughter’s dressing when
she was about to go out on a date one night.
“You should be more strict with your daughter’s dressing!” the wife
screamed at her husband. “She’s almost naked …bras, hot pants …you know, she
could be molested or raped!”
“You have a short-term memory,” the husband shouted back at the wife. “Eighteen
years ago when I dated you out one night, you were even more scantily dressed!”
Indecent Dressing 不雅着装
一天晚上，一对夫妇在他们十几岁的女儿准备出去约会时，就着装问题发生了激烈的争吵。
“你对女儿的穿衣打扮要严格一些！” 妻子对着丈夫尖叫。 “她几乎赤身裸体……胸罩、热
裤……你知道，她可能会被猥亵或强奸！” “你有短期记忆力，”丈夫对妻子喊道。 “十
八年前我和你约会的时候，你穿得更暴露了！”
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
It’s easy to see others’ faults but oftentimes one cannot
remember or see one’s own faults. Today we see many
parents not acting as good role models for their children.
This is one of the factors contributing to so many teenage
problems in society today.
看到别人的过错很容易，但往往记不住或看不到自己的过错。
今天，我们看到许多父母没有为孩子树立好榜样。
这是导致当今社会出现如此多青少年问题的因素之一。

10. 10
A sexy young lady undergraduate entered a young professor’s office.
She closed the door and knelt down pleadingly.
“I would do anything to pass this exam,” she pleaded. She then leant closer
to him, flipped back her hair, gazed sexily into his eyes. “I mean …” she
whispered, “ …I would do … anything.”
“Anything?” the professor returned her gaze.
“Yes, absolutely anything,” she said sexily.
The professor whispered to her, “Go back and study your lecture notes.”
“I’d do Anything …” “我什么都愿意做 …”
一位性感的年轻女大学生走进了一位年轻教授的办公室。 她关上门，恳求地跪下。“为了
通过这次考试，我愿意做任何事情，”她恳求道。 然后她凑近他，撩起头发，性感地凝视
着他的眼睛。 “我的意思是……”她低声说，“……我会做……任何事情。”“任何事
物？” 教授收回目光。“是的，绝对是任何东西，”她性感地说。教授低声对她说：
“回去学习你的讲义。”
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
There is a price to pay if one resorts to immoral
ways in order to succeed. There is no
substitute for diligent and honest hard work.
如果一个人为了成功而采取不道德的方式是要付出
代价的。 没有什么可以代替勤奋诚实的辛勤工作。

11. 11
Paying With Kisses 用吻付钱
At a department store, a pretty girl asked, “How much does that fabric material for a
dress cost?”
“Only one kiss per meter,” the smirking male promoter replied.
“Good, I’ll take 10 meters,” the pretty girl said.
Feeling excited all over, the male promoter measured out and wrapped the cloth.
He teasingly held it out to the girl customer.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old man standing beside her and
said with a smile, “Grandpa will pay the bill.”
在一家百货公司，一个漂亮的女孩问：“做一件衣服的布料要多少
钱？”“每米只有一个吻，”假笑的男性促销员回答道。“好，我走十
米。”漂亮女孩说。男发起人满脸兴奋，量了出来，把布包了起来。 他
戏谑地把它递给那位女顾客。女孩一把抓起包裹，指了指站在她身边的
老者，笑道：“外公会买单的。”
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
One who is lustful and craves for unwholesome
things will meet with undesirable or painful
situations.
一个好色的人，渴望不健康的东西 会遇到不良或
痛苦的情况。

12. 12
The Materialistic Lawyer 唯物主义律师
A very successful lawyer drove his brand-new million dollar Ferrari to his office. The egoistic
lawyer wanted to show his car to his colleagues. As he got out of the car, a truck came close to
the curb and completely ripped off the driver’s door of the Ferrari. The lawyer immediately dialed
for the police with his mobile phone. In less than five minutes, a policeman pulled over. Before he
could say anything, the lawyer started screaming, complaining about his damaged new Ferrari.
“My new car is gone … no amount of repair can make it new again,” the lawyer yelled. “Oh, this
loss is really breaking my heart.”
The policeman, observing with disgust and disbelief, shook his head and told the lawyer, “I can’t
understand how materialistic you lawyers can get. Here you are so focused on your new car.
Didn’t you realize that your left arm is missing … also ripped off by the truck?”
“Oh no,” the lawyer wailed, “My Rolex!”
一位非常成功的律师开着一辆价值百万的全新法拉利来到他的办公室。 这位自私的律师想把
他的车展示给他的同事。 当他下车时，一辆卡车靠近路边，完全扯掉了法拉利司机的车门。
律师立即用手机拨打了报警电话。 不到五分钟，一名警察拦了下来。 他还没来得及说什么，
律师就开始尖叫，抱怨他损坏的新法拉利。 “我的新车不见了……再多的修理也不能让它焕
然一新，”律师大喊道。 “哦，这次损失真的让我心碎。”民警一脸嫌弃，不敢置信，摇摇
头，对律师说：“我不明白你们这些律师到底有多物质。 在这里，您非常专注于您的新车。
难道你没有发现你的左臂不见了……也被卡车扯掉了吗？”“哦，不，”律师哀叹道，“我
的劳力士！”
Wise Reflection 明智的反思
Some are so obsessed by materialistic wealth that
they forget or ignore the many more important
things in life.
有些人如此痴迷于物质财富，以至于他们忘记
或忽视了生活中许多更重要的事情。

13. 13
“May you Laugh your way to good Health.
May Wisdom be your greatest Wealth!”
With Metta,
Bro. Oh Teik Bin
“愿你笑到身体健康。
愿智慧成为你最大的财富！”
The End
结束