Hello, lady! Welcome to Food Lion! Can I help you with anything? >>Yes, where is your dog food aisle? >>No thanks. I’m just here to buy a candy bar.
Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. We only sell cat food…would you like to buy some? >>No…I don’t have a cat. >>You guys don’t carry dog food? That’s odd! Why not? Cat food
That’s all? Just a candy bar? Why don’t you buy some dog food, too? >>No…I only want a candy bar. >>Okay…I guess my dog could use some food…
Would you like to BUY a cat? >>No…I’m allergic! >>Wait…you sell cats, but you don’t sell dog food?
Dogs are gay! Okay? Jesus! Will you just buy something, already?! >>What?! Are you insane?! Let me speak to your manager! >>All I want is a candy bar! Where might I find one?
Please buy something. I could really use the money! I want to buy a baby! >>No thanks…just a candy bar! >>Well as sad as that story is…I STILL only want a candy bar!
Crap in a bag! What is it with you and candy bars lady?! That’s why you’re so fat! >>What?! Don’t call me fat, you stupid Jew! Let me speak to your manager! >>Gosh! You’re mean! You make me sad on the inside!
Hey! You’ll sneeze a little bit? So what?! Buy the kitty! >>No way! I’m allergic! And it’s really rude of you to jeopardize a customer just for a sell! >>What?! Are you crazy?! I could die! Let me speak to your manager!
>>Yes! He’s completely psycho! And so is the rest of the Food Lion employees as far as I can tell! >>Yes! He’s scary! Let’s go over there and talk about him behind his back! Hello ma’am! I’m from Bi~Lo! Is this man bothering you?
>>That crazy man yelled at me because I wouldn’t buy what HE wanted me to buy! He’s really mean! >>I don’t know! That crazy man just freaked out on me! He’s acting psychotic! Help me! Alright…so what seems to be the problem?
>>Oh no! Not you too! I’m getting out of here! >>What?! Kitty cat?! Are you kidding me?! Get me out of here! Ahhhhhhh! Well how about you come to Bi~Lo and buy a kitty cat! That’ll make you feel better! Right, fatso?!
>>Oh my God! Everybody has gone crazy! Get out of my way you bald-headed weirdo! >>What?! Dinosaur puppet?! Are you crazy, too?! Ahhhhhh! Hello, ugly freak lady! I’m from Winn Dixie! Would you like to buy a dinosaur puppet?
>>Ahhh! More crazy grocerie store people! Ahhhhh! >>Shut your face, cue ball! Ahhhhhhhhh! Hello, you hermaphroditic retard! I’m from Piggly Wiggly! Come to our store and buy a chocolate covered flashlight!
>>No! No! Shut up! I’m not buying any of these things! Move! >>Ahhh! You’re a loony! Somebody help me! Hey there, monkey-face! I’m from IGA! Come to our store and buy a tube sock full of locusts!